Starscream Hating Mayo Is So Fucking Perfect I Cannot Begin To Describe How Much Joy It Brings Me

Starscream hating mayo is so fucking perfect I cannot begin to describe how much joy it brings me

whats starscreams dennys order

Curly fries of course!

TFP AU w/ Soundwave Reading Minds that got super long

I have this cute little TFP AU idea where for some reason Autobots and Decepticons have to work together, putting them all under the same roof (and eventually, it’s deemed safe enough for the kids to come back)

Also in this little scenario Soundwave has his psychic/mind reading abilities. Just putting that out there, cuz I don’t think it was ever confirmed to be canon for TFP.

So anyways it’s some sort of “Bring Your Pet To School” day, and Miko is in charge of the host family’s– unruly– dog (and maybe Raf has a bird or something). They bring their pets to base because they wanted to share the animal companions with the Cybertronians too. Soundwave takes an immediate liking to them, idly sitting with the creatures off to the side. (And is actually having a little conversation)

After a while Jack is like “Hey Miko, your dog hasn’t barked at anyone since she started hanging around Soundwave..!”

And Miko is like “Hm? Woaahh, you’re right!” So they all start making their way over.

“Hey Soundwave, how did you get her to calm down? Is it some sort of a secret space-robot technique, cuz I’d really like to know…!”

“No technique,” Soundwave says in his usual garbled words, “Soundwave just… told her she was safe.” he paused in thought.

“And asked her to be quiet.”

“Asked her? How?” said Jack.

“Is it… kind of like how Bee and I communicate?” Raf supplied.

“You can TALK to DOGS?!” said Miko.

“Soundwave can… TALK to DOGS.” Soundwave parroted, but then tapped his helm with one of his long, slender digits.

“With my… mind.”

The kids flip out, totally astonished. Meanwhile on the other side of the base, Ratchet slows his work enough to hear their conversation more clearly.

“How does that even work?!”

“Can you read MY mind?!”

“What’s my dog thinking right now?!”

Soundwave decided to answer Raf first.

“Cybertronian processors… operate on a… frequency. Earth… creatures… operate on… another frequency. Soundwave… simply tunes into… the correct one. Like a television.”

“Amazing…” Raf was already taking notes on his phone.

“So how’d you get her to use her inside voice?”

“Soundwave… felt distress. Gave reassurance. Asked for… ‘inside voice.’”

“So what’s she saying now?”

“Miko’s pet,” Soundwave turned slightly to address the impatient, pink-haired human, “Thanks you and… the others… for treating her so well. Says that you… are new… but kind.”

“Aw! Tell her I love her too!” Soundwave nodded.

“Acknowledged.”

“Wait, who are the others? Us?” Jack asked. Soundwave cocked his helm slightly, as if listening.

“No. The others… are… ‘family’?” The Decepticon responded, still unsure of the word’s proper usage.

“She must mean my host family! They’re her real owners.”

“Acknowledged. Pet… also enjoys…” Soundwave paused, unsure of how to say this next part. Instead he opted to demonstrate by moving his spare servo down the center of his body.

“Oh! Tummy rubs!!!” Miko practically squealed, quickly moving to treat the pup.

“Action is correct.” Soundwave confirms the dog’s joy.

“That’s a very cool power Soundwave.” said Raf with a grin. The con was surprised, most feared his ability.

“Rafael… thinks this?”

“For sure!”

“I think it’s super cool too!”

“Sooo… what am I thinking right now?” Jack lightly challenged the Decepticon.

“Oh yeah! Do Jack! Then me! I’m next!” Miko bounced excitedly.

“Could you read Ratchet’s mind from all the way over here?”

Suddenly Ratchet fumbled and noisily dropped his work down on the table, making odds and ends fly everywhere. Soundwave grew very, very still, and Miko’s dog began to whimper. With the good mood dissipating, Raf regretted his question.

“I think that’s enough parlor tricks for today, Soundwave.” Ratchet said icily, not even bothering to look over his shoulder all the way.

“Agreed.” said the faceless Decepticon, carefully setting down Miko’s dog and Raf’s bird to their rightful owners. Laserbeak trilled sadly at the loss of her new feathered friend.

“Much work to be done.” Soundwave said aloud as he excused himself, moving near-silently down the hallway. Once Soundwave was gone, the kids made their way to Ratchet and his work station.

“Guess you don’t need to read minds to know that was a touchy subject.”

“Ratchet, I-I’m sorry. I wasn’t even thinking…”

Ratchet snorted “I’ll say. Trust me when I say this Rafael: no good ever comes to an Autobot that’s had Soundwave rummaging through their mind. I’ve heard their stories, seen the aftermath enough times as proof.”

“So he CAN read Cybertronian minds…”

“Yes! Not only can he read them, but he can rip them apart…!” Ratchet spun around to face the kids fully, moving his hands in emphasis.

“Anyone who is unwilling– and oh ho, it is ALWAYS unwilling– undergoes psychological trauma AND physical, internal damage to the processor when Soundwave interrogates them…” Suddenly Ratchet spoke in a more hushed tone.

“Many bots change after being held captive by the cons. I’ve seen a few come back rambling nonsensical MADNESS having been rescued after a session with Soundwave. They are never the same… no matter how many scorched wires I repair, no matter how many circuit boards I replace. Even Decepticons know to stay away from him!”

“Even the cons?” asked Miko, already clutching her dog.

“Mm hm. Decepticons see the damage Soundwave inflicts up close and personal.” Ratchet shuddered, “It’s an incredibly unpleasant experience.”

“But Soundwave didn’t cause Miko’s dog any pain. And I mean, we offered to let him read our minds, so I’d say that’s pretty willing…”

“Hmph. You’re lucky that dog lacks the intellect to know that Soundwave is bad news.” Ratchet turned back to his work, “It’s likely that she let him into her mind without thinking twice about it.”

“Well it’s not like she has any big secrets to hide… er, besides the stuff she buries in the back yard.”

“Mm. Well you never know what sort of information Soundwave is looking for, so you can’t be too careful. He could very easily make use of the stuff inside YOUR heads, considering how much time you’ve spent at our base.”

“I guess that’s true…” Miko looked towards the hallway where Soundwave disappeared.

“Hadn’t thought about it like that.” said Jack.

“We’ll be more careful Ratchet. We promise.” Raf assured.

“Good to hear. Now go get ready, it’s almost dark and it’s time for you kids to go home.”

While Raf and Jack are packing up their stuff, Miko makes a quick run to Soundwave’s quarters to peek in. Unsurprisingly, Soundwave is just sitting there, unmoving in the dark. It’s kinda creepy she has to admit, but she’s getting used to it.

“Hey… could you hear all that?”

Soundwave didn’t respond, didn’t move.

“Ehh, I’m just gonna assume that you did.” Miko took the chance to fully enter the room.

“Just so you know, I’m not too keen on following the rules. So I’m still gonna hang around you, whether you, or Ratchet, or anyone else likes it or not!” This time Soundwave did acknowledge her.

“Miko… not afraid?”

“No way! I think you’re really awesome! You look cool, sound kinda weird, but you kick major butt in battle!”

Soundwave did not respond. He wasn’t sure if he liked that…

“Well…” She continued, “That’s not entirely true. I am scared of you… a little.” Soundwave huffed his vents at this.

“Good.”

“Good?! How is that good? I mean, it’s really just the stuff Ratchet said–”

“Soundwave… insulted. Miko should be… afraid.” Miko gawked at this for a moment before collecting herself… and laughed.

“Ahahaha! Leave it to a con to get a dent in his pride if he isn’t scary enough! Don’t worry Soundwave, I’m pretty sure I’ll always be a little scared of you!” she checks her watch.

“Ah scrud! I have to go. See you tomorrow Soundwave!” Miko runs off.

“… Acknowledged.” said the con cloaked in darkness.

I am a firm believer that Soundwave smokes weed whenever he can. There’s no way he can handle being the backbone of the Decepticons without it.

Experimenting with this style some more

Attention everyone, I'm making Transformers plushies!!

I don't know how many more I'll make in the future, but for now I'm starting with these three! Starscream and Soundwave are both based on their appearances in Transformers Prime, and Shockwave's an amalgamation of a bunch of different Shockwave designs.

Can't decide who I want to start making first, So I'm making them all at once! I'll be sure to post updates on my progress for those who may be curious ^v^

Also, I gave each of them a plush-related nickname: Shockwave is Softwave, Starscream is Starsqueak, and Soundwave is Hushwave

When we say make Pride more accessible we mean make sure disabled folks can actually enter the gay bar. (We see your doors with a lip on them.)

When we say make Pride more accessible we mean don’t pack people in and make it hard to move in mobility aids. 

When we say make Pride more accessible we mean stop having Pride events that only happen on grass. 

When we say make Pride more accessible we mean make sure all bathrooms are easily found and usable. 

When we say make Pride more accessible we mean make sure we actually can sit somewhere if we need to. If all the seats are bar stools that is not helping or helpful. 

When we say make Pride more accessible we mean don’t expect everyone can dance physically. 

Stop using ‘that’s just how it’s always been’ as an excuse. Intersectionality in the community needs to be a thing. 

Handicapped queer folk exist, too.