If A Fictional Character Gets Stabbed, They Have Only 2 Valid Response Options:

if a fictional character gets stabbed, they have only 2 valid response options:

1. slowly raise their hand to the wound and/or pull the weapon impaling them out while everyone stares in horror before collapsing to the ground from shock and/or blood loss and being caught just in time by their friend/sibling/love interest

2. hide the wound beneath a dark item of clothing in preparation for the dramatic reveal later when another character touches them and their hand comes away bloody or they overexert themselves and they stumble and wince but still try to insist they’re fine, even though they’re clearly in pain and struggling to stay on their feet, and as the other character peels back their jacket it becomes clear that they’re badly hurt and have been for a while (bonus points if they’re wearing a white shirt underneath)

Reading Classics be like:

Bro I’m really trying to sympathise with your repression, but could you please tone down the misogyny?

the opening riff to Jackboot Jump breathe if u agree

by far the best genre of fiction ever invented is short comics about women meeting ghosts/monsters/goddesses/whatever that are ALSO women and them inevitably ending up in love w each other

nina cried power (2018) and jackboot jump (2019)

it’s homophobic that im not kissing a girl on a soft wool blanket in a field of daisies right now.