Fae Masks

Fae masks

the masks of fae are highly prized as burial masks for monster hunters killed in battle. ex., if your old master dies protecting the city from a dragon, you will go out and hunt a fae (the higher ranking the better) to pay respect to your master and the skills they taught you. Unfortunately this tradition has instilled a deep mistrust amongst fae against all non-fae, and especially known monster hunters, because who knows if the next asshole will want to steal your face. (stealing a fae’s mask won’t fatally wound them, but it does take a while to grow back, and sometimes it doesn’t grow back at all, leaving them permanently scarred and ugly).

The fae masks do serve a practical purpose as burial masks though, as any corpse reanimated while wearing one will completely retain the personality and memories it possessed while alive.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Fantasy Guide to Addressing Nobility

It can be hard to remember how to properly address your noble or royal characters when writing a fantasy court. Here is a quick guide:

1. King/Queen:

Usually addressed as either “Your Grace” or “Your Majesty”. Consort (married to a ruler and not reigning in their own right) can be addressed the same. Sire or Madam can be used also.

2. Prince/Princess:

They are addressed as “Your Highness”. They are NEVER addressed the same as a King or Queen

3. Duke/Duchess:

These are addressed with “Your Grace”. This was a common term also used by royalty before Henry VIII got to big for his codpiece.

4. Earl (Count)/Countess:

Are almost never referred as the “Earl of Narnia” but “Lord Narnia”.

5. Lord/Lady:

An easy one. They are called “My Lord” or “My Lady”.

6. Emperor/Empress:

These may be equal to a King/Queen for status but the have a grander title. They are only addressed as “Your Imperial Highness/Majesty”

I hope this helps when writing your court or fantasy novel.

Fantasy Guide to Feasts, Food and Drink

Picture yourself at a banquet held at the local Lord's castle. The music is playing, the people are chatting and rustling about in their best clothes. You sit at a table and what sits before you? Not chicken nuggets, my friend.

Food is always one of the staples of any world you build. You can get a feel of class, society and morality just by looking at the spread before you on the table.

Food for lower classes (Peasants)

Most peasants lived off the land, rearing flocks, tilling fields and tending orchards. If they lived near the sea, lakes, rivers or streams, they would fish. But since they lived on land owned by churches or lords, they would only be allowed a portion of what they grew. In cities, the peasants would buy food from one another at the market.

Peasants would make bread out of rye grain, that would make the bread very dark. In some communities they would make sourdough, which involves using a piece of dough you made the day before to make that day's bread.

Eggs were a source of food that was easy to come by as farmers kept chickens on hand.

Cheese and butter would be sold and used in the farm.

Jam would also be made as it was easy to preserve and sell.

Peasants would not eat much meat. Chickens made money by laying eggs, pigs could be fattened and sold for profit and cows and goats would be used for milk. By killing any of these animals for food they would loose a portion of money. Poaching (hunting on private land owned by the lord) would come with severe penalties.

Pottage and stew were a favourite of peasants as they could throw any vegetables or bit of meat or fish in a pot to cook for a few hours. It wasn't a difficult dish to make and often inexpensive.

Pies, pasties and pastries would be a favourite at inns and taverns in towns and cities most containing gravy, meat and vegetables.

With most villages and farms set close to forests, many peasants could find berries at the edge of fields. Blueberries, blackberries, raspberries would have all grown wild.

Food for Nobility & Royalty

Nobility and Royalty could always afford better food than the poor. However it might be a patch more unhealthy than the poor's fare. Nobility and Royalty weren't fans of vegetables.

The rich would eat a lot of meat, much of which they would hunt down themselves on their own land. Deer, wild boar, rabbits, turkey and other wild creatures would all be on the table.

Nobility and Royalty would be fond of fish as well. Lamprey eels was a delicacy only preserved for special occasions.

They could afford salt which was important for preserving meat and fish. This would allow the castle/manor/palace to be stocked in times of winter or famine.

They could also afford pepper and other spices, all of which could cost a fortune, to flavour their food.

During a feast, they would eat off of platters made of precious metals but only if you were seated at the high table. Other less important guests would eat off a trencher, a piece of hollowed out stale bread.

Sugar would be the height of dessert. The sugar would be shaped into fantastical formations to impress the noble guests. Tudor chefs would create edible sugar plates for Henry VIII to eat off of.

Swans and peacocks would be served in their plumage. Swans would be more royal diners as in England the monarch owns all the swans. In Ireland, it is illegal to kill a swan mainly because they could be children trapped in swan-bodies. Long story.

Feasts

At certain events, the noble/monarch might throw a party. Most parties would begin with a dinner.

The high table would seat the family throwing the party and the honoured guests. All the food would come to them first to be distributed to their favourites. They would drink the best wine and have the finest bread.

The rest of the hall would be seated together at trestle tables, eating off trenchers. They would be sent food by the thrower of the feast on account of their personal importance or social standing. The closer you were to the salt cellar, placed at the head of the table the more important you were. The further away you were, the lower your status.

Servants called cupbearers would serve wine and drink and move about the hall to carry jugs of wine to water the guests.

Dogs would often be found in the hall, to be fed scraps by the diners.

Drink

No world or party is complete without the booze. Since much of the water in Mediaeval times was putrid or dirty, the classes would avoid it.

Beer: was both a favourite of peasants and the nobility. It would be brewed in castles or in taverns and inns, each site having a different recipe and taste. It would be stored in barrels. Beer was widely available across the world and could be brewed at home. So therefore it was inexpensive.

The two main types of beer would be:

Ale: Ale in the middle ages referred to beer brewed without hops (a kind of flowering plant that gives beer its bitter taste). It is sweeter and would typically have a fruity aftertaste.

Stout: is a darker beer sometimes brewed from roasted malt, coming in a sweet version and dry version, the most famous stout being Guinness.

Wine: Wine would be made on site of vineyards and stored in cellars of large houses or castles. They would be expensive as they would have to be imported from regions capable of growing vines.

Port: Port wine or fortified wine would be made with distilled grape spirits. It is a sweet red wine, and also would be expensive to import from the counties able to grow the correct vines.

Whiskey: is a spirit made from distilled fermented grain mash in a device called a still (which would always be made of copper). The age of whiskey is determined by the length of time it has been sitting in a cask from the time it is made to the time its put in bottles. Whiskey was a favourite drink in colder climates and could be made any where in the world.

Rum: Rum is made by fermenting and distilling sugarcane molasses/juice. It is aged in oak barrels and would have to be imported as it could only be made in lands able to grow sugarcane.

Poitín: (pronounced as pot-cheen) is made from cereals, grain, whey, sugar beet, molasses and potatoes. It is a Dangerous Drink (honestly i still don't know how I ended up in that field with a traffic cone and a Shetland pony) and technically illegal. Country folk in Ireland used to brew it in secrets in stills hidden on their land.

fantasy prosthesis

Fantastic Flora/Fauna for D&D

D&D games don’t have nearly enough mundane fantasy creatures. Everything needs to either be useful or dangerous for people to care about it! To remedy this, I’ve created a bunch of fantasy creatures and plants that sprinkle into your campaign to create amazing and slightly alien environments. 

These are inspired by settings like Pandora in Avatar, or the world of the Dark Crystal, where everything seems to teem with movement and sound and luminescence. Most of these creatures and plants are almost entirely harmless but can make a setting unique by inserting just one or two into your world.

Feel free to steal these or let them inspire you to create your own wacky or weird minor plants and animals.

Fantasy Fauna

Balloonfrogs: These frogs inflate pouches in their bodies with air, making themselves rather buoyant. They then leap from trees and spread their large webbed legs and toes to glide through the air. They usually come in bright colors to look like other poisonous frogs, but are actually harmless. Their ability to quickly escape danger is their primary means of avoiding predation.

Cave Barnacle: Cave barnacles can be found in neglected dungeons filled with moisture. They resemble regular barnacles in most ways; clinging to walls and ceilings protected with a hard shell 1-2 inches in diameter. This shell is wider than it is tall and spirals inward towards a central node covered in a hard membrane. The barnacles feed on many things that are considered poisonous or toxic to other creatures. When such a substance floats nearby, they open up their central node and unfurl a frilled fan that twitches in the air to gather the nutrients. Wary adventurers know when cave barnacles are waving their fan it means something dangerous could be in the air. The barnacle’s fan is rather beautiful and comes in bright colors often not visible in the darkness of its home. Some varieties of cave barnacle have a glowing fan.

Keep reading