Your Portrayal Of Mpreg Jesus Is Seriously Laughable. You Really Think He Would Suddenly Start Developing

your portrayal of mpreg jesus is seriously laughable. you really think he would suddenly start developing seahorse mannerisms as early as in the first trimester? give me a break. everyone knows you're just projecting because youre a furry. can't wait to read the next chapter though! :)

Congratulations! this is the funniest ask I’ve ever received. Please don’t tell me what seahorse mannerisms are

some dnd backstory ideas that give your character a reason to leave home that isn’t “everyone in my family died.” (just to say: i have nothing against those backstories (i use them a lot), but its fun to mix it up!)

family/friends/personal

someone close to you is sick. you need to adventure to find a cure

someone stole something important from you and you need to find it

you’ve received a message from a long lost relative and are trying to find them

someone that you love has been kidnapped (maybe you have to earn money to pay a ransom or complete some deed…)

adventuring runs in the family! everyone is expected to complete one quest in their lives

your family/culture sends people out to complete certain tasks when they reach a certain age as a rite of passage

another player’s character saved you in the past so you feel indebted to them and travel with them, protecting/aiding them

there’s a magical drought in your hometown and you have to fix it

your hometown doesn’t have a lot of jobs so you have to travel and send money back home

some childhood friends and you made a “scavenger hunt” where you try and complete a checklist of certain tasks (ie. defeat a barbarian in hand to hand combat, steal x amount of gold, slay a dragon, etc) in an allotted amount of time

quests/jobs

a god/patron has sent you on a quest to do something for them

you’ve been hired by someone to complete a task (and you get sucked into the big adventure along the way)

you’re on a quest for knowledge. maybe it’s to learn the best ways of fighting, maybe it’s something more academic related

your priest received a vision from your god and they sent you on a quest

you’re writing a book about the world and different cultures and you need first hand experience

you’ve found every map you’ve come across is shitty, so you decide to become a cartographer and make your own

you’re a detective who helps solve crimes and need to travel to solve a particular case

you’re a collector of a certain object and travel across the land to find it

you’re apart of an adventuring academy and have to complete a quest to graduate

you’re an artisan and you travel with your wares, trying to sell them. alternatively, you’re trying to spread word of your business and gain new business partners

you worked at a tavern your whole life where an old bard would sing songs of their adventuring party and that inspired you to go and do some adventuring of your own

feel free to add some of your own!

the year is 2023, marie kondo holds j*ff b*zos by the skin on the back of his neck in front of a public gathering

“does this one spark joy?” she shouts at the restless audience, they boo in response

she snaps his spine like .5mm mechanical pencil lead and throws his lifeless corpse to the crowd, they cheer in response

robin jason’s cape is so big because he likes to chew on it when he gets excited and red hood jason rolls up the sleeves on his jacket to stop himself from chewing on them i know i’m right about this

just so you know, you have some followers who enjoy/write fanfiction. not saying their urls rn bc i don’t wanna air out dirty laundry in public but if you want them so you can block and report, just say the word and i’ll dm you a list

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading