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The Fangirl Diaries

Jessyca ✨ 28 ⭐ Fandom Posts 💫 Author/Reader

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Where Can I Find A Man Like This One?!?!?!?!

Where can I find a man like this one?!?!?!?!

CILLIAN MURPHY As William Killick In The Edge Of Love (2008) | Dir. John Maybury
CILLIAN MURPHY As William Killick In The Edge Of Love (2008) | Dir. John Maybury
CILLIAN MURPHY As William Killick In The Edge Of Love (2008) | Dir. John Maybury
CILLIAN MURPHY As William Killick In The Edge Of Love (2008) | Dir. John Maybury
CILLIAN MURPHY As William Killick In The Edge Of Love (2008) | Dir. John Maybury
CILLIAN MURPHY As William Killick In The Edge Of Love (2008) | Dir. John Maybury
CILLIAN MURPHY As William Killick In The Edge Of Love (2008) | Dir. John Maybury
CILLIAN MURPHY As William Killick In The Edge Of Love (2008) | Dir. John Maybury

CILLIAN MURPHY as William Killick in The Edge of Love (2008) | dir. John Maybury

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More Posts from The-fangirl-diaries

11 months ago

I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY WITH THIS POST!

Sadly, despite what books and movies tell us, toxic relationships don't end well in the real world, and nothing, and I mean NOTHING justifies horrible words/actions toward another person, especially someone you "have a crush on." or "love." In fact, if you genuinely care about this person, you should treat them with the utmost respect and kindness and show them how worthy they are of such love.

A healthy relationship consists of mutual respect and genuine care for one another, it involves acknowledging each other's strengths and weaknesses, but lifting each other up and not tearing each other down. Quarrels/arguments should never involve them being belittled, degraded, physically harmed, etc.

Teach them to trust their instincts and to know their worth!

Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.


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11 months ago

An accurate depiction of what the Kens do when the Barbies go home, according to a recent interview with Ryan Gosling:

An Accurate Depiction Of What The Kens Do When The Barbies Go Home, According To A Recent Interview With

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10 months ago

Roll end credits.

Toranaga from FX's Shogun in episode 10 looking out across the sea with a tranquil look on his face. Caption reads "Maybe the real Shogun..."
Toranaga from FX's Shogun in episode 10 looking down at the person he is talking too. Caption reads "...are the friends we've made along the way."
Yabushige from FX's Shogun in the last episode looking up at Toranaga confused.

Shōgun (2024)


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10 months ago

FINALLY! AFTER SEARCHING FOR EONS, I HAVE FOUND WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR!!!!!!!

Would you write a Toranaga x reader who was traveling with John Blackthorne?

Untethered, floating aimlessly

Would You Write A Toranaga X Reader Who Was Traveling With John Blackthorne?

Standing before the great lord, your head hung low with your eyes trained to the ground and unable to meet his gaze. But your ears bore witness to your surroundings; the howling winds of nightfall, the crimson tent's flap flying in the breeze. Had your feet not been covered, you would have felt sand cling to your toes. For a moment you are thankful you are in this clothing .. but the weight of it hangs on your shoulders.

Just like the weight of his silence, you think inwardly as you waited patiently for whatever words would come out the Lord's mouth.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you finally raised your eyes to see the scene unfold before you. Yoshii Toranaga, holding his infant daughter in his arms .. he looked down at her, his lips upturn in a small but recognisable smile of content. Moving slightly in a motion of rocking the child who rests in her peaceful slumber. You've never seen him this peaceful before, not ever since you met him.

The girl seemed like she was too little to even fit in his arms but she did, perfectly so. An image too good to be true.

Toranaga lifts his had and his eyes rest on yours. "You did well."

You did well. At those three simple words, you gleamed softly.

In your time in Ajiro village, you had taken up the task to learn as much of the Japanese language as you could. Ten words a day, you had requested of your teacher, Lady Mariko. But she adjusted them to five, less you wanted to go to sleep with a headache and forget the pronunciations which was most likely what happened.

"What have you decided to name her?" Toranaga quarries in a hum.

Yes, it is true. You have excelled in learning as much words as your brain could handle. But you were still new to stringing up sentences with said words. Your head turned to Lady Mariko, awaiting his translation.

Swallowing up every anxiety you had in you, your eyes interlocked with his. "I have." Your voice began, leveled. "Mariko will be her name. For she has stood by me like no one else has since my arrival."

Toda Mariko blinked, hesitating her interpretation for her Lord as her heart swells with gratitude. Her eightfold fence rattled but she charged on, guarding it dutifully. She dips her head in a bow. "You honor me greatly, N/N-sama."

Lord Toranaga's eyes narrowed lightly, brows contorted in confusion and they rested as Lady Mariko translates for you. He didn't dare miss the warmth the two women shared and found it endearing that you were finding a footing in his country, a home in the form of one his most trusted people.

A small smile settles on his lips, looking at you. "A fitting name indeed."

The Lord comes over to you, carefully placing Mariko in the safety of your arms. Your heart swells with wonder of her being here .. for a long time she had been but an imagination, a dream. And now you're finding it hard to believe she was actually here.

You had expected so much from Toranaga's arrival. The first image of him that came to your mind when he saw you, was him raging and speaking so quickly in long sentences you didn't even understand. And you just staring at him like a deer, surveying for any predators in the area.

However, you weren't going to lie because you deserved his anger, his lecture. Hiding a pregnancy wasn't a small thing...

Still, you couldn't take your mind off of the day you two parted. You had argued with him on the ship sailing to Ajiro village after the escape at Osaka. Needing to let out your pent up emotions to the sole purpose of your anguish and frustration. Him.

When you were first brought before him along with John Blackthorne, you had been but a stranger to him. A barbarian. At first you had no knowledge as to why he had strike up the deal to set John and his crew free in exchange of you being his concubine.

It seemed like a deal for his own personal gain which you righteously refused. But just as John had a slippery tongue when it comes to vile words, he did so when telling lies. Like the lie he told Toranaga of you being his sister, to ensure that you were close to him whatever the circumstances was.. a lie in which still is hidden til today. And then he goes on to accept the offer on your behalf.

Some brother he was.

Lady Mariko was there to help you in any way she could and you were grateful in that aspect. Yet that still didn't mean it was sunshine and roses from then on.

The escape from Osaka took place.

You had thought, since you were Toranaga's concubine he would protect you, at the very least. But when you climbed on that Portuguese ship at the bay, and the captain said he wanted you and Blackthorne out and back to the shores of Osaka, Toranaga came out of the captain's quarters and relied his words.

Betrayed.

You were no stranger to betrayal. It was the root cause of you coming here in the first place. The son of a lady you were serving had his eyes of for you, one day gifting you his grandmother's ring on Christmas. A little bird tweeted in the kitchens you were working in and you found yourself in front of the Mistress who had her son beside her, questioning him on the jewellery. The bastard denied ever giving it to you.

Branded a thief, you knew sooner than late that you would be sentenced to transportation.

Your nan always told you to be wary of men, they will take advantage of you if you don't.

That's why you descended upon the Portuguese ship in tow behind John, because you were just a pawn in whatever game the Lord of Kanto was playing.

You both narrowly escaped. That was one thing about you that you shared with John. Your drive to live ...

For the few coming hours, you had Mary that drive nor will ..

Unable to face Toranaga after his betrayal, you went to the back of the ship that courses through the waves. Somehow, you ended on the other side of the helm of the ship, the heal of your legs balancing on a protruding beam. Your mind had conjured up a peaceful oblivion, that was enough to make you do that.

As you gaze down at the reflection of the starry littered sea, that's all you wished to be engulfed in. A gleaming heaven, a calm nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Not a raging cold ocean that would drown you the moment you let go.

The moment you let go ..

It never came. Because Toranaga was there.

He stopped you. Obviously it didn't work. You were a stubborn girl from the day you were born.

Your mind was made up. You nothing here in these, you had no one, you were no one.

By the time you reached Ajiro village, no words were shared between you and Lord Toranaga. You stood next to Blackthorne as the formalities went on with Toranaga inspecting his vassal's army.

Then you saw him sailing away on the boat, gracefully raising his fan as the army cheered him on. Nagakado had said he had urgent business and that for the coming months, the gun regiment needed to be trained.

There was only a moment where you interlocked eyes with his as the boat took him away. A foreign feeling tugged at your heart and you ignored it as you wondered beneath all that anguish inside you. Was he ever feeling it too?

Now how were you to bring up being with child in all that whirlwind of pain and betrayal and loneliness?

Thankfully the loneliness was cured.

You found a friend in Usami Fuji. She had orders from Toranaga to be John's consort and you knew a great deal about him spending time on the Erasmus, in that long, excruciating voyage. She was thankful for you immensely.

With time, she helped you adjust to the life growing in your womb as she was once a mother too.

Lady Mariko was there, too.

She was your translator, your closest confidant. You had begun to accept her as the older sister you always wished and dreamed you had. Most of your siblings you had to see go because of famine. You were much accustomed to death around you.

So when a new life came, your heart was heavy with joy. Your eyes shed tears of content for the very first time since you arrived in this island country. In your daughter, you had something that was yours and a purpose to keep moving forward in this godforsaken journey called life.

Life seemed a little brighter with her here now. And that only hope you held, was the reason you stood before Toranaga today, without having to fall to your knees and wallow in self pity and embarrassment.

Toranaga nods toward Lady Mariko and she bows, taking her leave. Your heart sinks as you watched the departure of your interpreter but you do your best not to show it. Now, all you had was your broken Japanese to communicate with him.

There was silence, only the winds whispered, filling the space between them. As if they too were anticipating who would break the silence of suffocation.

"That day .. no goodbye." You tried piecing together the words you could only describe were like million puzzle pieces to create one image, while the clock ticked in your eardrums.

The clock being the unflinching gaze of Toranaga.

Toranaga replies, "I'd assumed you were angry with me."

"I still am." You confirmed, catching onto the last three words he said. The lessons you spent with Mariko giving you hope that even though broken, you could still communicate and reach and understanding.

Your gaze fell on a lamp, finding it interesting all of a sudden. You harboured enough strengths and courage to do a great many things but looking into his eyes was not one of them. He was the most frustrating yet undaunted man you had ever met in your life and you didn't know whether to see that as a blessing of a curse.

"Can .. can I trust you?" Your voice came out in a whisper.

"Trust is a powerful word."

Of course he would say that. I mean, what were you hoping? He was a Lord, for crying out loud. And you .. you are just a girl from a small town that courageously paved her way through life and then royally fucked it up after you trusted someone you claimed to love.

Still not meeting his eyes, yours closed as you let out a shaky breath. You just needed the clarity. "Then, can I lean on you? Until the storm is over?"

He knew exactly what you meant. This war. You wanted clarity on whether he would protect you should anything happen ..

Toranaga nods. "I will you give you a shelter untill this storm is over." His lips upturned and your eyes finally found his, your heart fluttering as the burning on your cheeks stung.

"And perhaps," he continues, "we can start over. From the beginning."

"I'd like that," for the first time, you beamed a smile that reached to your eyes. "I'd like that very much."


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