Losing Control (3): Home

Losing Control (3): Home

Lose Control (5)

yay chapter 5, sorry for the long wait. once again life happened. shit got messy and way too much time passed. working on chapter 6

Lose Control part 4

Sorry this part is a bit short. Finals have crushed my brain. more fluff on the way

1 WEEK OF KYLO REN

↳ Day 5 of 7: Favorite Behind The Scenes Moment

Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Training for the Last Jedi x

Adam training for the Throne Room fight fucked me up dude, AND WE DIDN’T KNOW THERE WAS A THRONE ROOM FIGHT BACK THEN.

+Bonus:

Adam training + Suspenders + Arms = ME DEAD

Lose control (part 1)

Cw: sexual content, dubious consent from both parties.

Ao3 tags: soft kylo, kylo ren needs a hug, forced marriage, crying, hugging, fluff I guess, angst/comfort.

Wc: many idk ;)

Your hands trembled slightly. Fingers clutching the bouquet of blood red roses in your hands, small thorns digging into you’re skin, penetrating the soft skin of your palms and drawing dribbles of blood, colour matching the roses. The long, heavy dress only getting heavier, hotter while your legs miraculously moved you down the aisle. The heavy jewels from your home planet not helping the already heavy feeling of your gown. The further your legs carried you down towards the monster at the altar, the more tears welled in your eyes. Your white veil hid your sad tears from the ocean of First order officials and the few known faces of royals and aristocrats from home. Being princess of the most powerful planet in the inner rim seemed like a dream, when you were younger. Now it seemed more like a nightmare.

The huge, menacing black clad shadow before you, the commander of the first order, Kylo Ren, didn’t even look at you. Though that was hard to see, since his mask hid his face, if he had one. You hadn’t seen him without his mask yet, you didn’t know if your to-be husband was even human.  You reached the altar and handed the bouquet to a bridesmaid you didn’t know, someone they had put there for show. Everything was fake. The bridesmaids, probably the groomsmen too, the love and romance was fake, the ‘happy’ tears rolling down your family’s cheeks. The only seemingly real thing were the roses in your hands, the pain from the thorns keeping you grounded as it seemed the air slowly left your lungs and your blood flow slowed down. 

He still wouldn’t look at you, even though you stood right in front of him. The room went silent as the official began talking, his words muddled into a stream of incoherent sounds in your head. Everything swam, got blurry and unrecognisable. The tears slowly streamed down your cheeks and dripped from your chin onto your dress.  A hand gripped your right one, and the defending silence ended. Your eyes directed to his helmet hidden ones, as his deep static voice sounded in the cold air. “Princess?” You had been lost in thought and missed the official asking you whether you would take this ‘man’ as your husband. “I do. I do.” Your soft voice sounded and cheers from the many benches erupted. A ring was slid onto your finger and the commander led you down the aisle. His large frame nearly hid you completely, if it weren’t for the enormous dress you were wearing. Your hand was wrapped around his large bicep, trying to hold you steady on your trembling legs.  You were married. Married to the commander of the first order. Married to Kylo Ren. Married to a Monster. You reached the hallway with your husband on your arm. The crowd followed you while chanting, hyping everyone up for the ritual. You feared the ritual, always had. 

Your planet even though being very technically advanced and being on trend with everything, was still bound to old traditions. Medieval methods if you will. What waited for you, was ‘very’ romantic sex with a man you had never seen, let alone met, while the official and several priests watched you consummate the marriage and ensure the promise of an heir.  To say you were nervous was an understatement. You trembled harder and more tears ran down your face as you neared the quarters where the ritual would be held. ***

Kylo felt her grip his arms tighter and he looked down at the princess, his wife now. Her hands were shaking and tears littered the front of her dress. Under his helmet his own lips trembled at the absurdness of the situation. He walked faster towards the room at the end of the hall, wanting just a minute alone with the princess so he could calm her down before the handmaids came to undress her.

Finally the door stood in front of them, and one of his knights opened the door. Kylo pulled the princess inside as fast as he could without literally throwing her. She whimpered and began to softly sob behind the veil. He took of his leather gloves off and threw them wherever, he reached for her veil while shushing her.  As her beautiful face came into view, he quickly pulled of his own disguise. She gasped and looked at him in awe. Feeling like they might be running out of time he grabbed her hands in his own enormous ones and looked into her sad eyes.

“Princess. I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?” She weakly nodded and gave his hands a slight squeeze. “Alright. I’m not going to hurt you, I promise. I probably want this just as little as you, alright? I’ll be gentle and I need you to tell me if you feel uncomfortable during the ritual, okay?” Again she only nodded, seemingly to nervous and scared to talk.

A door behind them opened and three handmaids bustled into the room. They pulled the princess from him before he could say another word.  The ritual had begun.

I love this ❤❤

idk if this is too specific so sorry if it is but recently I've just been feeling like a burden to everyone I know and could use some comfort via fictional characters about it lmao, if it isn't too much to ask could you do something with flip comforting the reader that feels this way? sorry if its weird okaybye

A/N: Of course sweet anon! It’s not weird at all, I know the feeling! Hope this piece serves as a little pick-me-up!

masterlist

Summary: Flip’s girl is feeling down.

WARNINGS: just more soft Flip.

You couldn’t think of a worst time for the feeling to strike, but here you were staring at the floor, pretending to listen to the conversation around you. 

To be totally honest, you knew you weren’t in the right mindset for this gathering before you even left the house, you had only been seeing Flip for a couple of months but he always asks so little of you, and he does so much for you. So when he mentioned one of the guys from the station was hosting a barbeque and drinks, and that some girlfriends and wives were tagging along, you felt you had to be there for him.

You tried your hardest to play the part, even though you didn’t recognise many faces. You pushed a smile to your face as often as you could remember to, and you nodded along politely to anyone who reached out to try to make small talk with you, but you just couldn’t pick it up. 

After your third pity conversation failed, with a wife who probably only started talking to you because she noticed you standing alone and felt bad for you, you gave up and went to find Flip, feeling like a total failure. You couldn’t manage to make any friends and now he was going to have to deal with you, poor guy couldn’t get a break. Of course he didn’t do anything but smile when he saw you retreating back to him. 

“Hey honey,” he grinned, Coors in hand, he leaned over pressing a quick kiss to the side of your head, before returning to the conversation at hand. The gesture tugged at your heartstrings, I don’t deserve you, you thought sadly.

And now here you were staring at the floor, lost in thought. Thinking about how much space you took up in everyone’s lives. You felt like you’d been at the house decades, but really it couldn’t have been more than a couple of hours. 

“Honey?” Suddenly you were brought back to reality by Flip nudging your side. Your head snapped up looking at the little circle you had forced your way into. Shit. What had they been talking about?

“Sorry, what was that?” you asked.

“I said you ok there y/n?” asked one the woman standing next to Ron, Patrice? Was it?

“Oh, yeah, sorry, totally zoned out for a second, um, do you know where the restroom is?” You spit out. Yeah, that’s all you needed, you could go to the bathroom, pull yourself together, and then you’d be the best girlfriend you could for Flip.

“Down the hall, it’s the second door.” Another voice answered, pointing a beer towards the hall. You nodded, turning to walk away from the group, but before you could walk away Flip grasped your hand, squeezing it tightly.

“You okay sweetie?” He asked softly, leaning down slightly so only you could hear him. Your heart cracked, please don’t worry about me.

“Yeah, I’ll be right back, don’t worry.” You smiled, lying through your teeth. You looked at his face, he was frowning, looking at you sadly, he didn’t believe you. “Truly.” you squeezed his hand, before hurrying off.

You were happy to find the bathroom unoccupied. Closing the door quickly, you locked it and slid down to the floor, the tears came as soon as you were alone. Why’d you always have to ruin everything? You thought miserably. Why couldn’t you just play your part? Was it really so hard to follow along in a conversation? And now you’d probably embarrassed Flip, or stressed him out, the last thing he needed was more stress, he worked so hard and he deserved to just enjoy himself for once but you had ruined it. The thought made you cry harder, and you had to pull your arm over your mouth to muffle your sobs.

Suddenly the sharp sound of knuckles wrapping the door, and someone jiggling the locked doorknob interrupted you. Great, now someone had heard you. You held your breath and, not knowing how else to send the message that the toilet was occupied, you kicked the cabinet across from you softly, hoping whoever was outside would hear and seek out a different bathroom.

“y/n? It’s Flip, will you unlock the door please?” called the voice on the other side. Shit shit shit. You’d been caught mid-breakdown and now he was going to have to pick up the pieces, or maybe he’d just leave you already. Accepting defeat, you scooched over to the door, it unlocked with a soft click, and you scooted back to your old spot. You pressed the heels of your palms harshly against your eyes, trying to compose yourself as you heard the door open.

“Oh honey,” Flip cooed softly, closing the door behind him and locking it again. He crouched down in front of you, gently pulling your hands away from your face, holding them in his, running soft circles over the back of your hand with his thumb. “What happened?”

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry Flip.” You cried as fresh waves of tears trickle down your cheeks.

“What do you mean baby? Ain’t got nothing to be sorry for.” he reached up cupping the side of your face in one of his rough hands, gently wiping away your tears.

“I just,” you sniffle, “I just feel like such a burden Phil, you do so much for me and I can’t even do this one event for you without going and s-spoiling everything.” 

“Oh sweet girl, come here,” he moved, sitting against the wall, he tugged you into his lap, one hand found the back of your head cradling it in the crook of his neck, his other hand rubbing up and down your back, soothing you. “My sweet, sweet girl you couldn’t be more wrong.” you cried harder, clinging to him. “You do so much for me, you don’t even know, pumpkin. You’re so so good to me. Wish you weren’t so hard on yourself.” 

“But-but.” you hiccup.

“Shh, this is my fault baby I-”

“No!” You protested pulling away to look at him, you took a deep breath gathering your composure. “You didn’t do anything Flip, I’m just being ridiculous I-”

“Gorgeous, listen to me.” he interrupted, grabbing your face. “I don’t tell you enough how much you mean to me. You are so dear to me honey, you hear me?” he stared at you and you nodded. “And I am so proud of you.” he leaned forward, kissing your forehead, and you grabbed one of his arms, holding it fondly.

“Proud of me?”

“Mhmm.” he hummed, pulling back to look at you again, his hand wandered to your face, affectionately moving his knuckle up and down your cheekbone. “Saw you out there, mingling, making friends for me.” 

“I didn’t do a good job though,” you laughed sadly, looking away. “Had to give up and go running back to you.”

“I love when you come running to me baby, makes me feel loved,” he grins. “Hey, look at me?” you comply immediately. “You’re not a burden. Understand me? Couldn’t even be one if you wanted to. I love it when you let me in on your problems, ok? Love when you let me take care of you. You gotta promise to tell me next time you feel this way, got it?” you nod. “Promise?”

“I promise.” you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him again.

“That’s my girl.” he praised, pulling you tight to him, rocking the two of you back and forth, making you giggle. You sat like that for a moment longer, before he patted your thigh, signalling you up. You pulled yourself to one side, no longer straddling him. “Let’s get out of here,” he said, leaning against the wall to stand, pulling you up with him.

“We don’t have to.” You offered, still feeling the tiniest bit guilty. 

“I know,” he said leaning down to kiss you, “I want to.”