I Have Been On Tumblr Since 2012-2013 And Various Social Media Platforms Since 2010. It Has Taken Me

I have been on Tumblr since 2012-2013 and various social media platforms since 2010. It has taken me almost 9-10 years to start actively commenting, participating, and make contributions because of how self-aware and the overwhelming sense of embarrassment I feel and felt trying to post or show my true self online.

Every time I try to post something that I believe is "cringey,' my body is completely consumed with this need to delete the post and hide in my bed.

I do not know if it because of my autism, or if it is because any type of perception makes me want to curl up and wither away. Like now, typing and creating my own post is okay but trying to interact with other users is too much for me. Which also interferes with gaining friendships and companionship

I have two cats, and I could not imagine having 4 kids right now. I just seems like an impossible thing for me

I have always been a romantic person.

I've always dreamed of being married with kids in a big house. Of course as a kid, everything seems so easy.

Now, with all the trails and tribulations I've been through in my personal relationships, I still crave that.

My future spouse, I wish to experience life with them. Everytime I see landscapes I imagine seeing it with them. Allowing that time in space to be permanently etched into my mind. Going to them when things get hard.

My future babies, I can't wait to be able to raise them into their own person. Proved the love and support that every child should be able to experience. Give them the resources to follow their dreams and become happy in this lifetime.

And most of all, when I pass at an old age, my memories with them will be the ones I last see. The ones that will bring me the most comfort, will be my family.

I refuse to allow the pain I have experienced kill the love that surrounds my soul constantly

"you will wake up in a saw trap tomorrow" is so fucking hilarious

I always love when the funniest response is half cut off

I always forget how creative I can be when I really put my mind to it. When I feel the energy in my soul and allow it to take over.