Ramadan Observations -

Ramadan observations -

* “I know our lesson’s usually at 3pm but can we make it 1pm for this month? I just... I just really need my afternoon nap.”

* *two guys washing a car, one hurls a bucket of water over the top that splashes into the face of the other* “Bruv! Aw, maaan! That went in my mouth, man! I swallowed that! You broke my fast, man! Aw, screw you bruv, I may as well just go get a sandwich now. Gonna eat it right in front of you, man.”.

* Evening train; within the space of about 30 seconds something like five separate phone alarms go off in our one carriage. A little old Bengali woman immediately dives into her big bag, cracks open a huge tupperware of dates and starts offering them around to everyone within reach regardless of race, creed or colour. I don’t even particularly like dates but I take my three because it seems to make her happy.

Me, noticing the sky is getting darker and darker: Look, I have to go out in less than an hour, could we maybe not rain?

Sky:*slowly starts to blizzard*

Me: Well, I think we both know that’s not what I meant...

...and as a follow-up to the UnFeminine Things I Have Shouted While Doing Traditionally Feminine Activities:

“The FUCK is this SHIT going on here....”

while making a raspberry yoghurt cake.

ETA an additional “arsing shitweasels” because it turns out that when you stick something in a 180C box for an hour and then immediately hack a slice off and cram it in your mouth it is, in fact, quite hot.

Do...do I feel validated? Called out? Welcomed? I’m afraid.

Workmen Spending Some Time in the Building:

Day 1: Good morning, I am thebuni, the principal keyholder. If you need anything while you’re here please do feel free to call me. Let me show you to the kettle.

Day 3: Someone else let you in? Cool, thanks for the lie-in. Why yes, these are my favourite p’jim-jams.

Me: It must be nearly SPRING because for the first time in a long time I am home and I am WARM and TOASTY.

My Brain: You live in a badly-heated and appallingly-insulated flat. It’s February in London. You are sick, and you are running a temperature.

Me:...which makes me WARM and TOASTY.