So Facebook Then?

So Facebook then?

There was an evil company that was watching us.

Shouting this at all the tumblr porn bots that have been following me

Awkward makeup

pairing: joey jordison x fem!reader

summary: joey likes the way his girlfriend wears makeup. but even more, he likes when she puts makeup on him.

genre: fluff, established relationships, comfort

warnings: sexual tension, age regression/de-aging joey (21)

word count: 1,589

a/n: this one shot was written based on this request. I hope you like it!

tag list: @jakekisska @retro-fr6 @boulder-2 @gougie , @novaleedartis , @neteyamgfs , @alex-cold17 @ilovehobi101

Slipknot concerts were always too tiring for (Y/N) to prepare for. A lot of work, too much responsibility for the props. A lot of fans who make so much noise at the sight of their favorite metal stars that sometimes they shout over the music coming from the amplifiers, which sometimes makes (Y/N) convinced that her eardrums will burst. Living in a trailer, which was cramped and terribly stuffy on hot summer nights. All this and much more forced the girl to ask herself over and over again, why does she need all this? Why can’t she sleep peacefully in her soft, cozy bed, in her home, in which she knows every corner. Why should she endure the fact that fans rush at her at the sight of their idols, almost knocking her down, trying to trample her with their heavy boots? Every time she asks herself this question, but it instantly disappears and leaves her thoughts when she wakes up in the morning and sees Joey, who is completely sleepy and clumsy, trying to pull the blanket over his head so that the sun does not shine directly in his eyes and he can sleep another five minutes, which will ultimately drag on for a full hour. The way he held her tightly around her waist, hips or shoulders while drool flowed from his slightly open mouth, dripping onto the pillow, causing (Y/N) to laugh quietly, and furiously want to take a photo of him.

Therefore, despite all the inconveniences of life on tour, (Y/N) still stubbornly follows her drummer boyfriend, who himself does not want her to leave him.

Joey always loved spending time with (Y/N), whether it was braiding each other's hair, or the way she admiringly listened to him play the drums or guitar, how he supported him in any, even the most difficult moment of his life. The moments when they are together are incredibly valuable for both of them, neither (Y/N) nor Joey want to give them up, and therefore, they spend every possible second together.

Stretching from side to side, (Y/N) pulls her arms, numb from a long sleep, and looks down again, smiling at how tightly Joey pulls her towards him. He snores quietly, and doesn’t even seem to think about waking up, although it’s time for both of them to get ready for the interview. But Joey again tests the patience of Corey, who will certainly start yelling at them for being late again, and this vicious circle repeats itself again and again, although it is high time to break it. So it is for this reason, despite the fact that she herself really wants to close her eyes again and cling to Joey, plunging into sweet dreams, (Y/N) gently but persistently shakes his shoulder, trying to wake him up.

Joey mutters something into his pillow, and (Y/N) can barely make it out - “five more minutes,” - but she knows this trick of his, and is absolutely sure that five minutes will drag on for ten, after which it will turn into several hours of deep sleep , so she pats his shoulder again and again, on which a hickey blooms like a bright red spot, which slowly but surely begins to darken, as a pleasant reminder of last night.

She herself has a lot of them on her neck and chest, and (Y/N) has no doubt that she will have to cover them with foundation for a long time, and the way Joey grabbed her hips with his hands doesn’t make the situation any easier.

(Y/N) shakes his shoulders again and again, but Joey doesn’t give up, continues to close his eyes tighter, into which his tangled long hair falls, which clearly prevents him from continuing to sleep, but no one is going to give in and because, (Y/N ) takes a long strand of Joey's hair in his hands and begins to trace it around his nose in a circle until he begins to wrinkle his nose and frown, grumbling in displeasure. (Y/N) grinned, but didn't give up on her little torture, continuing to tickle Joey's face until he grabbed the pillow and threw it at (Y/N)'s face, to the sound of her loud laughter.

"You're annoying, you know that?" Joey mutters, to which (Y/N) proudly lifts her chin, flicks Joey on the tip of his nose, and then leaves a kiss on his forehead.

"Of course,” the girl replies, to which he just rolls his eyes in playful irritation. "You tell me this every morning."

(Y/N) suddenly leans closer to him and straightens his hair, whispering hotly right into his ear, which gives Joey goosebumps.

"But at the same time, every night you claim the opposite."

Damn this girl... She's driving him crazy. (Y/N) is too deep under his skin, and Joey definitely has no intention of getting rid of her. (Y/N), who is so pleased with his reaction, playfully pecks him on the lips, and hurries to get out of bed, running into the bathroom, from which she brings a large cosmetic bag, and sitting down on the bed, begins to hastily look for something in it. Joey watches her curiously from the corner of his eye as he pulls on his clothes. His gaze is drawn to the large eyeshadow palette of all sorts of colors that (Y/N) holds in her hands, carefully running a thin makeup brush over her eyelids.

An idea suddenly appears in his head, which lights up like a light bulb in a dark room, and he hurries to sit down next to the girl, to which she looks at him in complete bewilderment. One of her eyes is already brightly but stylishly painted, while on the second there is not even a hint of makeup.

Joey takes her eyeliner in his hands and pulls down her lower eyelid so that (Y/N) momentarily fears that his eyes will fall out of his socket, and begins to snatch the eyeliner from his hands, to which Joey leans back, and (Y/N) falls on top of him.

"You'll poke your eye out like that." (Y/N) grumbles, carefully getting up from her boyfriend, who, however, is in no hurry to let her go, and holds her wrists with his own hands.

"Well, show me how to do it correctly, since you are such a professional." Joey grins, and (Y/N) is happy about it.

Not that he needs this makeup - at the interview, he will, as always, wear a faceless plastic mask, hiding his charming face behind it. But since Joey wants it, she's willing to spend a little time getting naughty with him.

"Sit down and close your eyes." The girl commands, and Joey obeys her, obediently doing everything she tells him.

(Y/N) gently touches his face, carefully applies foundation, and rubs it into his skin with soft patting movements to make sure that the cream lies evenly. Joey chuckles, which earns (Y/N) a playful slap on his shoulder, scolding him for moving around too much and getting in her way. Joey just pouts at this, but stops moving, allowing (Y/N) to apply the black eyeliner that brings out his huge blue eyes so effectively.

(Y/N) pulls back for a moment and admires the work done, and frowns slightly because she doesn’t like the way she put makeup on his face. No, (Y/N) wants to highlight his beauty, not make it grotesque.

Carefully smudging the eyeliner over his eyes with a small sponge, (Y/N) sticks out the tip of her tongue slightly, and when she realizes that she’s only making things worse, she rolls her eyes and, licking her thumb, begins to wipe the makeup off his eyes.

Joey smiles only with the corners of his lips, and reaches his hands to (Y/N)'s hips, squeezing them with his fingers as she tries so hard to correct her failure. (Y/N) is too busy to notice what Joey is doing, so she allows him to continue stroking her buttocks and lower back with impunity.

(Y/N) is already completely desperate, and doesn’t know what to do, and therefore sits down comfortably, right on the guy’s lap, while he raises his hands to her waist, reaches for her chest, when the girl suddenly pulls away sharply, and with a smug look rises to the legs, much to Joey's displeasure.

"Here, look in the mirror."

With these words, she hands him a small mirror that she always keeps in her cosmetic bag, and Joey snorts loudly in indignation and looks at it. The makeup was applied carefully and really looked stunning. (Y/N) carefully emphasized the expressiveness of his eyes, focusing on their color and shape.

The makeup looked so good that for just a moment, Joey forgets that (Y/N) so abruptly interrupted what could have ended up being such a sweet and pleasant pleasure, from which both of them would have benefited, but of course, this harmful the girl needed to ruin everything...

(Y/N) notices his surprisingly enthusiastic and at the same time gloomy appearance, and therefore comes closer to Joey, and languidly biting him on the cartilage of his ear, handed him the mask, whispering:

"We could have had some fun if you slept less."

“Damn,” Joey thought defeatedly, reluctantly getting out of bed, taking (Y/N)’s hand and heading out of the trailer. "Good point."

dere you go

Just used a hairdryer for the first time in like 8 years. Not sure I'll ever recover from this