Forget Slow Burn Romance, Give Me Slow Burn Found Family. Give Me Enemies To Friends To Siblings. Tired,

forget slow burn romance, give me slow burn found family. give me enemies to friends to siblings. tired, weary old mentors learning to live again for their plucky young apprentices. heroes sharing apartments after world saving adventures because they’re so used to living with each other. dramatic “oh shit” moments where one gets kidnapped and the other realizes “god, that’s my kid.” i want to sit and watch in agony for thirty chapters while two idiots slowly adopt each other, someone get on it

Other authors: *kills or injures characters in their writing*

Me: How dare you

One of my characters: *taps me on shoulder*

Me:

writing tip #2258:

stuck looking at a blank page? try slamming your hands against the keyboard randomly until, from a distance, it looks like you’ve had a very productive day

Expository dialogue techniques that don’t rely on characters randomly explaining things to each other that they should already know, but do rely on your characters being obnoxious gits:

1. Character A fucks something up hilariously; character B upbraids them at great length about exactly what they did wrong.

2. Character A wildly misreads a situation; character B corrects their misconceptions.

3. Character A tells a complicated and implausible lie; character B points out the obvious holes in their story.

4. Character A can’t find their destination; character B provides rambling and discursive directions.

5. Character A has a straightforward question; character B requests a series of extremely pedantic clarifications.

I had come to live a penniless existence. I had come to write about truth, beauty, freedom and that which l believed in above all things: love.

MOULIN ROUGE! dir. Baz Luhrmann

Ten questions to ask a friend who just read your novel

Here are ten questions to ask that will not put your friend in a tough spot, but will still give you some useful input on your novel:

1. At what point did you feel like “Ah, now the story has really begun!”  2. What were the points where you found yourself skimming?  3. Which setting in the book was clearest to you as you were reading it? Which do you remember the best?  4. Which character would you most like to meet and get to know?  5. What was the most suspenseful moment in the book?  6. If you had to pick one character to get rid of, who would you axe?  7. Was there a situation in the novel that reminded you of something in your own life?  8. Where did you stop reading, the first time you cracked open the manuscript? (Can show you where your first dull part is, and help you fix your pacing.)  9. What was the last book you read, before this? And what did you think of it? (This can put their comments in context in surprising ways, when you find out what their general interests are. It might surprise you.)  10. Finish this sentence: “I kept reading because…”

Your friend is probably still going to tell you, “It was good!” However, if you can ask any specific questions, and read between the lines, you can still get some helpful information out of even the most well-meaning reader.

Source: Examiner