I Dont Want To Write This Extremely Specific Fanfic Of Which I Am The Primary Audience, I Just Want To

I don’t want to write this extremely specific fanfic of which I am the primary audience, I just want to read it.

me: I just finished writing chapter 15!

also me: but what about chapter 7?

me:

I’m right and I should say it

when i come across a fic with a long, lowercase title (perhaps with parentheses) that’s over 20k words and only one chapter

writing tip #2450:

why not try editing naked?

My advice when folks are struggling with writing in the third-person omniscient is to Lemony Snicket it up. Give your omniscient narrator strong opinions about what’s going on. Don’t fall into the trap of assuming that the third-person omniscient perspective must also use the objective voice; those are two separate things, and many of the most popular and successful writers who’ve written in the third-person omniscient do not, in fact, use the objective voice.