2020, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. Bye Bitch

2020, we are never ever getting back together. Bye bitch

i know everyone’s super preoccupied with bi!dean and oh boy do i get it but have we considered the absolute chaos that is fresh bi!dean and recently human!cas.

cas comes back from the empty totally human, and he and dean just… avoid each other in the bunker because cas is embarrassed and doesn’t want to pressure deal also well well well if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions–while dean is quietly freaking out because he loves his man but he’s human now and what if he’s changed his mind? he might have changed his mind. he is definitely sleeping in his own room because he’s changed his mind.

and dean’s love confession, when it does happen, is something halting and loud. Blurted out like an argument–I love you, okay?!–because he’s trying, he’s really trying, but big emotions still make a powder keg of him, no matter if they’re rooted in anger. and cas is overjoyed, and they kiss a lot, but there’s this weirdness surrounding sex because, hey, the last time cas slept with someone he was killed, and dean’s relationship with fucking has been equal parts trying to put food on the table + a tool for care and positive touch. 

and then it also turns out that you don’t just un-learn 41 years of repression because a really great guy is in love with you. so dean postures for people needlessly, and is equal parts an embarrassed, proud, terrified mess in public with cas, while also sometimes flirting with the waitress on autopilot. he stops himself from touching cas only to remember he doesn’t have to, and sometimes he’s brave enough to keep reaching but sometimes he isn’t. and every day, he wishes he was more open, more honest, just… better to cas. and every day he is, a little. 

and while dean is out here being a complete mess, our friend castiel is coming to terms with the fact that he’s mortal now. the first time he gets injured, there’s hell to pay; he won’t stop bitching and moaning. his first cold? fucking forget it. he’s unbearable. he’s grumpy, and feeling helpless sometimes makes him mean; he’s petty and bitter and he spends whole days in the gym working himself to the bone. he goes for long runs. is neat as a pin. won’t quit on research until he’s asleep on top of the book. when dean gets hurt, he forgets he’s human and presses two fingers to his forehead–cas can’t fly away but he disappears for two days. when he informs dean that he’ll be driving an motorcycle from now on, dean has a fucking heart attack and the argument lasts for a week. 

it’s hard; cas needs things dean’s only just starting to be able to give himself, and dean needs stuff cas is only just starting to learn–i love you isn’t that enough?–but like… there’s so much that’s so good. dean being so blindly happy that he forgets to be afraid or self-conscious, dean shyly pecking cas’s mouth in the parking lot of the mini-mart. cas forcing himself not to run, but to get… comfortable; he starts to leave his 50 used mugs all over the place, and forgets his socks in the dean cave after date night. cas learning to drive a motorcycle and taking dean flying, beaming the whole time as dean hangs on for dear life. cas channeling his frustrations into crafting (badly). 

they sleep together half a dozen times before it gets really really good–before cas stops thinking and dean quits worrying; cas makes some lame joke when he’s half inside him and dean can’t stop laughing. they both realize that there are a lot of different ways and reasons to sleep together; that it can be intense and aggressive and slow and sweet and silly and fun.

there are good days and there are bad days, and one morning dean wakes up and realizes he doesn’t feel conflicted or ashamed anymore. one morning, cas looks at dean and realizes he actually really likes being human. are they absolutely obnoxious about their new discoveries? of course they are.

but sam and eileen have had to bear witness to every other obnoxious aspect of their relationship, so what’s one or two more?

best day was when we got the finale sneak peak and we thought they were pandering to br*nlies

worst day was when we found out they were

alright kids this has failed every other time but on december 31st everyone change their damn icons to this:

again. end the year with a bang. 2020 has been shit but at least we can have a mishapocalypse 2

this will be great. i believe in you, supernatural fandom

edit: anyone who doesn’t think they will remember, mention that in ur reply (not in the tags!) and i’ll add u to the reminder post on dec 31st

also thank you for the nearly 1k notes! it’s incredible, i’ve never gotten this many notes before! i’m glad i got the notes over something chaotic!

and so after hours of hard work and absolutely no one asking, i present: what supernatural being that has inexplicably fallen in love with dean winchester are you?