Obligated? Irritating? An Annoyance? A Disruption? Tamlins Face Fell, Almost Instantly Into Genuine Shock,

Obligated? Irritating? An annoyance? A disruption? Tamlin’s face fell, almost instantly into genuine shock, if not sadness. He felt his heart speed up in his chest as she walked away, so terribly small in the daunting darkness. No, no, no. I am not that bad at this!

How can I be giving all that I am and it never be enough?

His frustration surged and his fists tightened, but another question lingered in his mind. Am I? Is that truly all I have to give?

A lack of cruelty is not a kindness. His mother had once said. Her appeal had fallen on empty ears and slid down his stone walls like storms.

Why? Why do I always have to be the bigger person? Why was I given so much weight to bear?

Tamlin lingered in the doorway and motioned a sentry to follow Briar from a polite distance. A rough start was right and it had certainly not been completely on her. If anything, all of the flack should fall upon him. He was the leader. He was the example. He was the one they all looked to when hope was gone.

What about when my hope is gone? Tamlin lowered himself to the stone steps and conjured a small ball of light into his fingers, forming it into the shape of a small bird. He blew the embers into the darkness and the followed the last that he could see of her as she disappeared.

Hope was a fragile flame. It could burn out. He was close to the end of the line, himself. If he did not sleep, tomorrow would only be worse. He hugged his cloak tightly to his body and ventured up the dark staircase. It smelled faintly of blueberries and vanilla — like the pancakes his mother used to make on hard days. Tamlin lay down on his cold bed and curled his knees to his chest, fully wrapped in his cloak. For the first time in many weeks, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep with no dreams.

Stone Walls & Sacrifice | Tamlin & Briar @springcourthighlady

Tamlin was more than ready to leave by the time he finished listening to Briar’s rant. He let her finish — he wasn’t that impolite. His brisk footsteps echoed across the marble flooring and he looked over his shoulder, hoping that he was not followed. 

Yet, he was not that lucky. The prospects of desert with Lucien and Elain were slipping further away by the minute. Tamlin stilled when she called his name, pressing his lips into a thin line. Why won’t she go home? This is life, in Spring, right now. We’re all worried. We’re all frustrated. We all have family in need of aid. No one gets special privileges. Not even me — 

He didn’t even have privacy anymore, or space to think. Though, when he glanced over his shoulder, he was relieved to find some regret in her eyes. 

Only his friends called him by his first name. He wasn’t big on enforcing rank, but found it odd how casually she addressed him. 

He pressed his tongue into the edge of his teeth, forbidding the quick retort which danced on the edge of his lips. I will not lose it. I cannot. They cannot see me as a beast. 

He turned, stuffing his hands deeply into the pockets of his jacket, to hide how they’d tensed into fists. Running from his problems wasn’t effective, but neither was forcing himself into a corner until he lost his temper. 

Tamlin saw her hand reach for him. He wanted to back away. It had been over two years since a woman had touched him, apart from Calanmai. He flinched, but did not move. He wasn’t sure he could. 

She cares for me? I have met this female once. 

Tamlin swallowed, gravely still. “I understand your attachment, Lady Briar. Yet, if you cannot trust me as High Lord of Spring, no plan I create to bring Caiden home will be enough for you.”

He stepped away, lowering his green eyes to the ground. “If you’ll excuse me, it has been a long day.” 

Tamlin watched Briar gesture to the map and his brows knit deeply in concentration. Her odd comment slipped past him, though, he couldn’t help but notice the scent of blueberry. He shrugged and reached for the blueberry pastry, oblivious. “Right. That section of the border is patrolled by a squad of sentries.”

He tapped a delicate pointer finger along the map. “They have a base here—”

He glanced up, clearly in High Lord mode, to be met by her wild and wondering eyes. Startled, he looked away.

“The people of this area were never friendly to fae to begin with, so I understand your growing concern. After what happened with Amarantha and the Archerons, that certainly did not improve.”

Tamlin set his pastry aside and nudged the plate closer towards her, as an indication that she should eat as much as she liked. “I have already sent word to the wall to have two of my best hide themselves amongst the humans and begin to keep an eye out for the little one that you’ve described.”

He sat back down, one eyebrow raised, as he wondered if she would accept the food. “We should hear from them by Nightfall. In the mean time, with your permission, I would like to ask you a few questions.”

Stone Walls & Sacrifice | Tamlin & Briar @springcourthighlady

Tamlin was more than ready to leave by the time he finished listening to Briar’s rant. He let her finish — he wasn’t that impolite. His brisk footsteps echoed across the marble flooring and he looked over his shoulder, hoping that he was not followed. 

Yet, he was not that lucky. The prospects of desert with Lucien and Elain were slipping further away by the minute. Tamlin stilled when she called his name, pressing his lips into a thin line. Why won’t she go home? This is life, in Spring, right now. We’re all worried. We’re all frustrated. We all have family in need of aid. No one gets special privileges. Not even me — 

He didn’t even have privacy anymore, or space to think. Though, when he glanced over his shoulder, he was relieved to find some regret in her eyes. 

Only his friends called him by his first name. He wasn’t big on enforcing rank, but found it odd how casually she addressed him. 

He pressed his tongue into the edge of his teeth, forbidding the quick retort which danced on the edge of his lips. I will not lose it. I cannot. They cannot see me as a beast. 

He turned, stuffing his hands deeply into the pockets of his jacket, to hide how they’d tensed into fists. Running from his problems wasn’t effective, but neither was forcing himself into a corner until he lost his temper. 

Tamlin saw her hand reach for him. He wanted to back away. It had been over two years since a woman had touched him, apart from Calanmai. He flinched, but did not move. He wasn’t sure he could. 

She cares for me? I have met this female once. 

Tamlin swallowed, gravely still. “I understand your attachment, Lady Briar. Yet, if you cannot trust me as High Lord of Spring, no plan I create to bring Caiden home will be enough for you.”

He stepped away, lowering his green eyes to the ground. “If you’ll excuse me, it has been a long day.” 

At least Briar seemed as jittery outside as he was inside. Her eyes followed him across the room with what he couldn’t discern as desperation or adoration. The first made more sense, but the way her cheeks turned pink made him worry that it was the second.

Why? Tamlin blinked and carefully organized his paperwork into a few, neat stacks. He couldn’t deny that even after a wonderful night of sleep, he was a bit on edge after yesterday, but her apology was appreciated. He knew that he should follow it with a thank you, but found that the words became stuck to his throat. 

“Sorry. Um, I don’t think I’m used to being well rested.” Tamlin scratched his head, reaching for a pitcher of water and two crystal glasses which were set to the side on a raised table. “Are you thirsty?” 

He poured two glasses of water and returned to sit at the desk, also reaching behind it for a plate of pastries which the staff left there every morning. She looked hungry. “I do apologize for my current state of existence. I am used to functioning with Lucien by my side and he is on leave to be with his mate, Elain. They are expecting an addition to their family before long.” 

Finally, Tamlin found the piece of paper which he was looking for and spread it across the table. It was a detailed map of the border. Before she could see confidential information, he quickly glamoured it away. “Show me the last place you saw Caiden.” 

Stone Walls & Sacrifice | Tamlin & Briar @springcourthighlady

Tamlin was more than ready to leave by the time he finished listening to Briar’s rant. He let her finish — he wasn’t that impolite. His brisk footsteps echoed across the marble flooring and he looked over his shoulder, hoping that he was not followed. 

Yet, he was not that lucky. The prospects of desert with Lucien and Elain were slipping further away by the minute. Tamlin stilled when she called his name, pressing his lips into a thin line. Why won’t she go home? This is life, in Spring, right now. We’re all worried. We’re all frustrated. We all have family in need of aid. No one gets special privileges. Not even me — 

He didn’t even have privacy anymore, or space to think. Though, when he glanced over his shoulder, he was relieved to find some regret in her eyes. 

Only his friends called him by his first name. He wasn’t big on enforcing rank, but found it odd how casually she addressed him. 

He pressed his tongue into the edge of his teeth, forbidding the quick retort which danced on the edge of his lips. I will not lose it. I cannot. They cannot see me as a beast. 

He turned, stuffing his hands deeply into the pockets of his jacket, to hide how they’d tensed into fists. Running from his problems wasn’t effective, but neither was forcing himself into a corner until he lost his temper. 

Tamlin saw her hand reach for him. He wanted to back away. It had been over two years since a woman had touched him, apart from Calanmai. He flinched, but did not move. He wasn’t sure he could. 

She cares for me? I have met this female once. 

Tamlin swallowed, gravely still. “I understand your attachment, Lady Briar. Yet, if you cannot trust me as High Lord of Spring, no plan I create to bring Caiden home will be enough for you.”

He stepped away, lowering his green eyes to the ground. “If you’ll excuse me, it has been a long day.” 

@thesingingvalkyrie