Tamlin Watched Briar Gesture To The Map And His Brows Knit Deeply In Concentration. Her Odd Comment Slipped

Tamlin watched Briar gesture to the map and his brows knit deeply in concentration. Her odd comment slipped past him, though, he couldn’t help but notice the scent of blueberry. He shrugged and reached for the blueberry pastry, oblivious. “Right. That section of the border is patrolled by a squad of sentries.”

He tapped a delicate pointer finger along the map. “They have a base here—”

He glanced up, clearly in High Lord mode, to be met by her wild and wondering eyes. Startled, he looked away.

“The people of this area were never friendly to fae to begin with, so I understand your growing concern. After what happened with Amarantha and the Archerons, that certainly did not improve.”

Tamlin set his pastry aside and nudged the plate closer towards her, as an indication that she should eat as much as she liked. “I have already sent word to the wall to have two of my best hide themselves amongst the humans and begin to keep an eye out for the little one that you’ve described.”

He sat back down, one eyebrow raised, as he wondered if she would accept the food. “We should hear from them by Nightfall. In the mean time, with your permission, I would like to ask you a few questions.”

Stone Walls & Sacrifice | Tamlin & Briar @springcourthighlady

Tamlin was more than ready to leave by the time he finished listening to Briar’s rant. He let her finish — he wasn’t that impolite. His brisk footsteps echoed across the marble flooring and he looked over his shoulder, hoping that he was not followed. 

Yet, he was not that lucky. The prospects of desert with Lucien and Elain were slipping further away by the minute. Tamlin stilled when she called his name, pressing his lips into a thin line. Why won’t she go home? This is life, in Spring, right now. We’re all worried. We’re all frustrated. We all have family in need of aid. No one gets special privileges. Not even me — 

He didn’t even have privacy anymore, or space to think. Though, when he glanced over his shoulder, he was relieved to find some regret in her eyes. 

Only his friends called him by his first name. He wasn’t big on enforcing rank, but found it odd how casually she addressed him. 

He pressed his tongue into the edge of his teeth, forbidding the quick retort which danced on the edge of his lips. I will not lose it. I cannot. They cannot see me as a beast. 

He turned, stuffing his hands deeply into the pockets of his jacket, to hide how they’d tensed into fists. Running from his problems wasn’t effective, but neither was forcing himself into a corner until he lost his temper. 

Tamlin saw her hand reach for him. He wanted to back away. It had been over two years since a woman had touched him, apart from Calanmai. He flinched, but did not move. He wasn’t sure he could. 

She cares for me? I have met this female once. 

Tamlin swallowed, gravely still. “I understand your attachment, Lady Briar. Yet, if you cannot trust me as High Lord of Spring, no plan I create to bring Caiden home will be enough for you.”

He stepped away, lowering his green eyes to the ground. “If you’ll excuse me, it has been a long day.” 

Tamlin turned, visibly working to soften his expression before he spoke. He didn’t hate his title. He didn’t hate the long hours or the sacrifices he’d made. He certainly loved his people. Yet, over the last several years he had realized that he could not carry the entire kingdom on his own two shoulders. Being alone was his time of sanctuary. Having Briar see him without the stone walls which so carefully guarded his heart from the public was uncomfortable — almost unbearable. 

Yet, he struggled to move away when her soft hand rested on his arm. It wasn’t much, a simple request for attention, but it reminded him once again of just how much it ached to be alone. 

He still had Lucien, but Lucien was a mated male now and a married one. Although his fox was continually loyal and still often there on the occasion that his panic overwhelmed his sobriety, Tamlin knew that things would never be the same. 

He had Feyre, on the edge of his defenses, sitting just beyond the portcullis of his heart. There were many long, lonely nights where he nearly ended up back at her door before his common sense stepped over his bleeding heart. That would never be the same ever.

Spring would never be the same.

He would never be the same.

For the briefest of moments, his small joys of a child’s laughter and the great outdoors had been witnessed by a stranger and it hurt. 

Tamlin swallowed and stepped back, noticing, that she still had his cloak. He didn’t have the heart to ask for it back. Especially, when he could conjure another on a moment’s notice. 

“What you saw,” He said slowly. “In the garden…was not meant for your eyes. It was meant for no one but myself and that little boy.”

He spoke in a measured, tenor beat. “I have never been one formalities. I do not mind you calling me by my name. That is…its purpose. However, I cannot abide with any form of yelling as a form of communication.”

Tamlin sighed and looked up, honestly meeting her eyes, as himself, for the first time. “Please believe me that I understand your passion and I feel it. I have gone to the end of the earth for the fem— people I have loved. That little boy you saw being one of many.” 

He ran his fingers through his blonde hair. “I have a plan for Caiden, but it is not something I can accomplish alone, or overnight. Given the late hour of the day, I need to speak to my sentries and my emissary before anything happens further.”

“Will you meet me tomorrow?” He asked, eyebrows piquing upward. He was not just Tamlin. He was not just the High Lord of Spring. He was both. There were parts of him kept hidden away. He only hoped she was willing to listen. “After court. Before noon.”

Stone Walls & Sacrifice | Tamlin & Briar @springcourthighlady

Tamlin was more than ready to leave by the time he finished listening to Briar’s rant. He let her finish — he wasn’t that impolite. His brisk footsteps echoed across the marble flooring and he looked over his shoulder, hoping that he was not followed. 

Yet, he was not that lucky. The prospects of desert with Lucien and Elain were slipping further away by the minute. Tamlin stilled when she called his name, pressing his lips into a thin line. Why won’t she go home? This is life, in Spring, right now. We’re all worried. We’re all frustrated. We all have family in need of aid. No one gets special privileges. Not even me — 

He didn’t even have privacy anymore, or space to think. Though, when he glanced over his shoulder, he was relieved to find some regret in her eyes. 

Only his friends called him by his first name. He wasn’t big on enforcing rank, but found it odd how casually she addressed him. 

He pressed his tongue into the edge of his teeth, forbidding the quick retort which danced on the edge of his lips. I will not lose it. I cannot. They cannot see me as a beast. 

He turned, stuffing his hands deeply into the pockets of his jacket, to hide how they’d tensed into fists. Running from his problems wasn’t effective, but neither was forcing himself into a corner until he lost his temper. 

Tamlin saw her hand reach for him. He wanted to back away. It had been over two years since a woman had touched him, apart from Calanmai. He flinched, but did not move. He wasn’t sure he could. 

She cares for me? I have met this female once. 

Tamlin swallowed, gravely still. “I understand your attachment, Lady Briar. Yet, if you cannot trust me as High Lord of Spring, no plan I create to bring Caiden home will be enough for you.”

He stepped away, lowering his green eyes to the ground. “If you’ll excuse me, it has been a long day.” 

Random thoughts of a: Day off Tamlin!

Day off Tamlin! Who likes to follow you around, hidden, as you pick flowers until you notice that he's not occupied with work

Day off Tamlin! Who flits around your ear disguised as a bumblebee, and when you scream and swat at him he shifts back into your tam, doubled over, laughing because he lives for teasing and taunting you sometimes

Day off Tamlin! Who wraps his arms around you as you fret, whispering sweet nothings and promises that he's sorry and he didnt mean to scare you, but then he gets that mischevious grin again that only you tend to see

Day off Tamlin! Who tells you theres something he wants to show you, but wont do it unless you agree to his bargain- a kiss, wherever he wants to place it.

Day off Tamlin! Who whisks you away to the hidden rabbit den in the western woods where some of his favorite mushroom fae mine them as pets

Day off Tamlin! Who lays on the forest floor, you breathing softly atop him as you doze, surrounded by bunnies snuggled up to you both

Obligated? Irritating? An annoyance? A disruption? Tamlin’s face fell, almost instantly into genuine shock, if not sadness. He felt his heart speed up in his chest as she walked away, so terribly small in the daunting darkness. No, no, no. I am not that bad at this!

How can I be giving all that I am and it never be enough?

His frustration surged and his fists tightened, but another question lingered in his mind. Am I? Is that truly all I have to give?

A lack of cruelty is not a kindness. His mother had once said. Her appeal had fallen on empty ears and slid down his stone walls like storms.

Why? Why do I always have to be the bigger person? Why was I given so much weight to bear?

Tamlin lingered in the doorway and motioned a sentry to follow Briar from a polite distance. A rough start was right and it had certainly not been completely on her. If anything, all of the flack should fall upon him. He was the leader. He was the example. He was the one they all looked to when hope was gone.

What about when my hope is gone? Tamlin lowered himself to the stone steps and conjured a small ball of light into his fingers, forming it into the shape of a small bird. He blew the embers into the darkness and the followed the last that he could see of her as she disappeared.

Hope was a fragile flame. It could burn out. He was close to the end of the line, himself. If he did not sleep, tomorrow would only be worse. He hugged his cloak tightly to his body and ventured up the dark staircase. It smelled faintly of blueberries and vanilla — like the pancakes his mother used to make on hard days. Tamlin lay down on his cold bed and curled his knees to his chest, fully wrapped in his cloak. For the first time in many weeks, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep with no dreams.

Stone Walls & Sacrifice | Tamlin & Briar @springcourthighlady

Tamlin was more than ready to leave by the time he finished listening to Briar’s rant. He let her finish — he wasn’t that impolite. His brisk footsteps echoed across the marble flooring and he looked over his shoulder, hoping that he was not followed. 

Yet, he was not that lucky. The prospects of desert with Lucien and Elain were slipping further away by the minute. Tamlin stilled when she called his name, pressing his lips into a thin line. Why won’t she go home? This is life, in Spring, right now. We’re all worried. We’re all frustrated. We all have family in need of aid. No one gets special privileges. Not even me — 

He didn’t even have privacy anymore, or space to think. Though, when he glanced over his shoulder, he was relieved to find some regret in her eyes. 

Only his friends called him by his first name. He wasn’t big on enforcing rank, but found it odd how casually she addressed him. 

He pressed his tongue into the edge of his teeth, forbidding the quick retort which danced on the edge of his lips. I will not lose it. I cannot. They cannot see me as a beast. 

He turned, stuffing his hands deeply into the pockets of his jacket, to hide how they’d tensed into fists. Running from his problems wasn’t effective, but neither was forcing himself into a corner until he lost his temper. 

Tamlin saw her hand reach for him. He wanted to back away. It had been over two years since a woman had touched him, apart from Calanmai. He flinched, but did not move. He wasn’t sure he could. 

She cares for me? I have met this female once. 

Tamlin swallowed, gravely still. “I understand your attachment, Lady Briar. Yet, if you cannot trust me as High Lord of Spring, no plan I create to bring Caiden home will be enough for you.”

He stepped away, lowering his green eyes to the ground. “If you’ll excuse me, it has been a long day.” 

While Briar worked, Tamlin simply slept. He closed his eyes and his body fell into the smooth rhythm of rest for the first time in over a year. His shoulders rose and fell evenly and the hours of the night ticked by in silence without a single terror awaking him from his slumber. 

Slowly, morning light peeked through the dark green curtains and fell across his face. Tamlin covered his eyes and rolled over, ignoring the coming of day. He slept on until the heat of noon began warming his room and the weight of his cloak grew heavy. The chimes of the clock in the main hall declared the hour and drew him from his daze.

He sat up, dizzy and dry-mouthed. How long had it been since he’d slept so well? The haze of sleep still surrounded the High Lord as he glanced at time. 

It was twelve-oh-five.

I missed court. I slept through court. 

Tamlin nervously bit at his nails, while he rushed through the room in search of his shoes. By the cauldron! Briar! I’m late. I’m so late. She’s going to yell at me again, isn’t she? 

Tamlin muttered a few select curse words in high fae beneath his breath as he hurried down one of the three long hallways towards his office. He didn’t even have time to take a glance at himself in the mirror. His hair was disheveled and his boyhood cowlick jumped from his blonde locks, untamed. His clothes were clean, but wrinkled, and his cloak askew from using it as a blanket the night before. 

Luckily, he still had his common sense. He swept a hand over his clothes and smoothed the wrinkles as he turned his personal door to the office. Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to fix his hair, or calm the raw anxiety carefully hidden in his green eyes. 

As he passed through the door, he saw Briar waiting calmly in her chair. How long has she been here? 

Tamlin, once again, glanced at the time. Twelve-oh-nine. Nine minutes was not bad, but considering he could winnow, it was still very late. He cleared his throat. “My apologies, Lady Briar; both for my tardiness and my manners yesterday. I have been,”

He gestured to the giant stacks of paper around him. “A little overwhelmed lately.” 

Stone Walls & Sacrifice | Tamlin & Briar @springcourthighlady

Tamlin was more than ready to leave by the time he finished listening to Briar’s rant. He let her finish — he wasn’t that impolite. His brisk footsteps echoed across the marble flooring and he looked over his shoulder, hoping that he was not followed. 

Yet, he was not that lucky. The prospects of desert with Lucien and Elain were slipping further away by the minute. Tamlin stilled when she called his name, pressing his lips into a thin line. Why won’t she go home? This is life, in Spring, right now. We’re all worried. We’re all frustrated. We all have family in need of aid. No one gets special privileges. Not even me — 

He didn’t even have privacy anymore, or space to think. Though, when he glanced over his shoulder, he was relieved to find some regret in her eyes. 

Only his friends called him by his first name. He wasn’t big on enforcing rank, but found it odd how casually she addressed him. 

He pressed his tongue into the edge of his teeth, forbidding the quick retort which danced on the edge of his lips. I will not lose it. I cannot. They cannot see me as a beast. 

He turned, stuffing his hands deeply into the pockets of his jacket, to hide how they’d tensed into fists. Running from his problems wasn’t effective, but neither was forcing himself into a corner until he lost his temper. 

Tamlin saw her hand reach for him. He wanted to back away. It had been over two years since a woman had touched him, apart from Calanmai. He flinched, but did not move. He wasn’t sure he could. 

She cares for me? I have met this female once. 

Tamlin swallowed, gravely still. “I understand your attachment, Lady Briar. Yet, if you cannot trust me as High Lord of Spring, no plan I create to bring Caiden home will be enough for you.”

He stepped away, lowering his green eyes to the ground. “If you’ll excuse me, it has been a long day.” 

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