This Was A Real Conversation Between A Friend Of Mine And I

This was a real conversation between a friend of mine and I

I just want three other people to do that lil’ part in the Russian sailor dance with. Is that too much to ask??

Thinking about the time a few friends and I were dancing on stage in our school’s auditorium for funzies before the middle schoolers we were being stage crew for got there and then they started an active shooter drill (yee-haw) and we ran to the girl’s dressing room (one girl, one enby, and two boys) and we hid behind props and under costumes and quietly played Taylor Swift while pooping ourselves because we could hear the fake intruders walking around and the announcements kept coming on and saying they were getting closer to the auditorium THAT WE WERE IN

Then it ended and we went back to dancing and the middle schoolers showed up

I have come to realize that in this day and age, in my small town specifically, I have caused a small group of people to reinvent Christianity in a less meaningful way. They all want to kill one guy to pay for all evil in the world. They also all think I’m going to kill this guy. And this guy keeps asking me for help like I’m gonna get him out of this. This guy is me. I’m effectively Jesus, Judas, and god in this senecio and I’M LIVING FOR IT

I do not appreciate how my brain functions on both cat logic and vampire logic. You need to invite me to talk or look at you or exist, until you don’t and I never shut up and get offended that you’d let me yap that long

I love when someone asks if I do something that happens to send me into trauma flashbacks. And I mean things that they’d genuinely have NO IDEA would do that. But do I let this upset me? No, no. We end up being like:

“Do you listen to Mother Mother?”

“Not since the incident”

And then they nervously giggle while I explain the incident in full detail <3