Seven-year-old Me Crying Real Tears Because I Truly Thought I Was Gonna Accidentally Cut An Atom In Half

Seven-year-old me crying real tears because I truly thought I was gonna accidentally cut an atom in half atom and kill everyone on the east coast while I’m just trying to cut strawberries

You guys know like everything I post here is sarcastic and/or dramatic, right? RIGHT??

I got to college a early (accidentally) and so I’ve been sitting in my car and eating dried pineapple for the past half hour if you even care

Call me Don Quixote, but this windmill looks so scary and I need to kill it

Thinking about when I was the big bad wolf in a Little Red Riding Hood themed marching band show and the girl playing little red had the prettiest solo and then I, a 5’2” 110 lbs, little boy just like show up, foaming at the mouth, sprinting after her.

Anyway, we won awards for that and people thought the flip I did was cool

I’d like to personally thank the multiverse for being so nice today. I was cordial with that one chick I HATE for a whole week while we were living in close proximity and you know what the multiverse did?? DO YOU EVEN KNOW?? She literally just like fixed a crisis I was having. Miss when you and your favorite were super close? Be nice to the miscreants who have wronged you and your merry crew. Be so not terrible that she thinks you might be chill with her (but never be chill with her because liars are often unforgivable)