Graag, Graag, Graag!

Graag, Graag, Graag!

(Part II)

> Pairing- Joost x suicidal!reader

> Genre- fanfic, angst, fluff

> Warnings- cussing, trauma, troubled relationships (past),

Summary! Reader is caught cutting in a bathroom and Joost silently comforts them! :3

Notes! Written in second person, this is mainly angst and talking about a shit past and Joost kinda tells them to think about the future??? Ngl I don’t think that Joost would be very good at comforting people verbally- of course!

This is in no way glamorising self harm!!!

A/N! IM BACK BABY ‼️‼️‼️ Anywayssss, enjoy this but it is rushed and not proofread so don’t be afraid to point out any mistakes <3 I love y’all!

Part I

He had returned from the studio to find you in despair, sobbing on your bathroom floor, a small bloody disassembled razor in the sink. Obviously he couldn’t see that, but he definitely knew that it was something to do with self-harm. He knew what had just occurred the second he heard the faint sobs coming from the bathroom; he wasn’t dumb, you’d done this before. The only difference was that you felt even more guilt as you had been caught in the act, not the aftermath.

Slow, careful steps eventually came to the bathroom door, the door was locked, though the key sat next to you. It stung, it dragged on, metaphorically and literally, once again; you let out heavy sobs. Hurt, that’s what it was; finally, you came to your senses- he was talking to you.

“Reader, reader? Open the door. … please?”

You felt numb, your lover was going to see you in such a fragile state, a broken doll. Soul, even you definitely didn’t feel pretty enough to call yourself that. His voice… it was so frail and weak, he seemed scared from what he was about to see, he leant against the door; ear pressed against the thin wood trying to hear anything. Anything that you said, did, just so that he knew you were alive, breathing even.

Your own thoughts shrouded yourself, almost forgetting that he was there, patiently awaiting you, unlike anyone else in your life. And so, you shakily scraped up the blood-splattered key and unlocked the door with you crimson red wrists, arms and shoulders. It was embarrassing, your recent cuts reopened and fresh ones took place on your beautiful and yet frail, cut-infested skin.

“Thank goodness, you’re alive, that’s all that matters liefje, you’re all that matters right now.” (Liefje=love)

“So. Graag tell me next time- I’m here, that’s what I’m for.” (Graag=please)

He quietly took hold of both of your hands, looking at all of the cuts; eyes brimming with tears as he let go. Leaning down, he opened up the cupboard, sat you down on the toilet and poured disinfectant on them before properly taking care of the cuts. You both sat there in silence, it took over like an infectious disease; you had tried to say something but now words were coming out. It was as if your body was banning you from speaking, thought it was probably from the huge pile of guilt that you currently felt as you looking into his tear-filled eyes.

He didn’t deserve that, at least that’s what you thought, though he definitely felt the other way as he cautiously wrapped his thick, toned arms around you in a comforting manner, calming you down ever so slightly with every second that passed.

Shakily, he took a painfully deep breath before gently phrasing his words, tiptoeing over the matter to not make you feel even more guilt.

“You know I’m here, right?”

His face became glossy due to the amount of guilt he felt, it felt like he wasn’t doing enough, like he wasn’t enough. Personally Joost wasn’t very good at comforting people, in Dutch or English, he was much better with gifts, acts of service and many more. Especially as a rapper, he always included you in his songs, from verses with hidden meanings to outwardly thanking you for your support in songs. So it really was a juxtaposition though, nevertheless you loved the way he supported you- through thick and thin.

You felt your eyes closing as you lay in his embrace, falling in and out of consciousness (I mean as in asleep in this context btw) he could tell that you were tired. So, he gently awoke you before carrying you to bed and laying you down, he helped you change into your pj’s so that your cuts aren’t pressed upon.

WOWEEE LOVE LOVE LOVE UHM I NEED YOUR SKILL ASAP 😓😓😓

hai tumblr people itz been a while,,,

On skibidi 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

manifesting for everyone who has ever interacted with my fics (especially given feedback) meets joost 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

Uhm… so I’m not continuing Graag. 😓 Sorry bout that but I’m not continuing it for now. My requests are open though! So please gimme ideas- I’ll try make my work longer trust >:3

Just a quick teaser to piss everyone off 😓

Love y’all tho❤️🧡🤍🩷💜

HAIIII just tryna’ push my luck here 😓 anyways check me out pls🫶

Reblog/like this if you’re LGBTQ+ and run an active blog in 2024.

Trying to find new blogs to follow. 🫶🏻