Whoa

whoa

i'm really lazy right now

i just read the raven and now i'm motivated to make something as deathly and chilling as that

yet i STILL CANT GET UP OFF MY FLOOR

i honestly love the phrase "you will know them by their fruits" lol

like, you don't even have to be Christian to know that that verse slaps

that ties into so many different types of create philosophies, such as that of actions speaking louder than words, lies coming, in theory, from 'telling it slant' (as Emily Dickinson once said), keeping good company for a good mind, it goes on and on

it's such a perfect thing to ponder deeply on a now and an again, because sometimes words and rhetoric can cloud our true perception of others, or at least twist how we see them for their gain and their gain alone. it can help you realise that sometimes, in spite of what has been told to you, people, ideals, concepts, and truths are just not correct, for they yield wronged fruit

help, the polyrhythms are taking over my stream of conscience

i'm not sure man was made to get polyrhythms stuck in his head

It sure hits like a brick when you live. To… step outside every hypothetical, all superficiality imposed on us for the sake of conformity, it feels really moving.

            It often feels like a movie, -slow-paced when needed, but engaging more often than not. To run through the everyday motions, to see the same thing all day every day, to love like always, to stay. Staying can be very nice. When you stay, there is no change; nothing to lose, but nothing to gain. It may seem very simple to fall into the thinking that where you are is perfect. It’s not. Hate to break it to you, but there’s a lot out there your mind couldn’t even fathom. That doesn’t mean it’s not real, it’s just---you haven’t found it yet.

Let me put you in a position: You’ve stepped out of your living room into the back lawn, your garden. The sun is the first to see you and your dog, as the rays surely only the angels may provide tickle your skin with energy, when abruptly you notice: Everything feels superficial. The grass, why is it there? Your dog, why does she care? What makes this all worth it? Why is this yours? Who are you?

It's a calm sensation, not gut-wrenching and knee-bending, but rather, a benevolent one, something you may seek if not for the whole, ‘existential crisis part’. You walk slowly through the yard, squinting for the sun, but seeing no further than the dust on your glasses. No thoughts run through your head; just clear, confusing, incessant bliss. Time seems to contort itself to the bliss for the sake of your feeling less and less passing of the ages.

At last, at last it leaves you. Or has it? Something feels offset inside you---as if the studs of your very house have moved an inch to the left, and none more.

Running through your mind comes to no avail, for there was no mindedness about the situation prior. Just… blank.

You’ve made it up to your roof through means you may not remember either, and are now practicing in something you know not why: You’ve taken up the fetal position on the rough shingles of your houses roof (not a very comfortable state, but you don’t know that). This is not happening out of vulnerability, be sure to know that. You do this because your mind and body are now separate entities altogether, beings of their own accord.

Your mind takes itself and puts a change on the term ‘up’. You are now attached, by a very thin force called gravity, to your roof, saved somehow from falling into the blue that hides the stars. It’s a terrifying experience to be sure. Your body still lies there, an incoherent fool, made to do naught but lie (lie as in lie down---this isn’t Calvinism)

Minutes…

Seconds…

Perhaps an hour…

A swirling sensation sends you into nausea, and you retreat to your room for fear of your own regurgitation.

When you come to (for as you know, nausea is constructed as such that there is no possible way to focus on any other thing than it in the moment), you have found the studs shifted to the right. There was no change after all.

Curious, isn’t it? Such a thing as detachment of the soul and body is near-forgotten for the smell of pancakes your father prepares in the kitchen? Run on now, go nourish yourself.

There’s so much more than what you may suppose

To summarise what has happened to you for you, understand this: There is a world so immense, you could never understand it all, or even a fraction. This often, or, relatively often, for this only happens maybe once a week, sends me into a state where I am lost and so overwhelmed by the beautiful complexity of life and the universe, that I struggle even to thank God for it all. It feels immoral and illegitimate to thank someone for something I cannot comprehend so badly as I do this. And that panicks me. The story I have related to you is one that I’ve just recently experienced a couple of hours ago, and I felt you may benefit from hearing it.

What I’ve come to understand from this and these is that we were never meant to understand it all. So, I beg you to thank God and thank others even when you have but a glimpse of what they are truly doing for you, as you may never know it all.

I have unfortunately discovered what it is like to hit the post limit at midday

It is not fun

I love the idea of praying for everyone

I'm a Catholic (I swear I'm not that different from the rest of you Christians; we are siblings in Christ after all), and recently I've been thinking more on theology and how to explain my beliefs to someone whose beliefs differ, such as other denominations. More on that:

First, I'd love to bring to mind the analogy that Christianity and its denominations are like a stained glass window. Some denominations get some light, but not all of it, meaning that those who believe something slightly different are not wrong, per se, they're simply less clued into God's plan and Church.

Now, this is not a conversion post, or an apologetics post, I just wanted to share something that I've found interesting in my deepening look into theology.

To start from the beginning, I'm pretty sure most Christians believe in a Heaven and a Hell. A common misconception, however, is that they are places; they're more states of existence. Just the same as you are alive or dead, you are in Heaven or Hell.

Now, once you get into the theology of Heaven and Hell, a thought comes to mind: Why would a God, who loves us all so much so that he gave us free will and died for us, condemn us to eternal suffering? This then leads to the realisation that since Hell is a complete absence of God, one would have to renounce God and all His works even after death to be put in Hell. Basically, you have to put yourself there. You don't 'go to hell' for being a bad person. You get yourself in Hell by telling God no.

Next, there's this little nag that one may get after realising this. What if God provides you with a chance to say yes to Him? What if He grants you all the knowledge of who He is and how much He loves you so that you may choose Him at last? This is something that I find very beautiful. They say suicide is a sin. It is. But God is not going to condemn you forever for stealing a piece of cake, let alone any other sin. So I believe that even if one commits suicide, even if one throws their gift of life away only to enter a land not controlled by physical enjoyment and physical suffering with a chance of begetting suffering unimaginable to us on Earth, God will still give them a chance: He will stop the passing of time for you, give you as much time as you want to decide, to see His face and feel the love coming from Him. It is then up to you.

And so, with all this in mind, there is very well the chance that nobody is in Hell. There's a chance that God gave wisdom to all those who knew not what they do, solace to those who felt uncomfortable and unloved, and a God to those who felt alone.

To wrap this up, there's this one motion that was thought up, causing the stingy Christians to question their ideals and how open to loving everyone they really are. That motion is the idea to pray that everyone is in Heaven. To pray that even the worst of souls here on Earth saw redemption and took it, leading to another brother or sister of us to live in union with God eternally.

I think that's really beautiful. And it fascinates me that some people find it hard to choose a God like this. I don't blame them, for we all have doubt, and sometimes it fills us too far. But I still pray every day that everyone gets to see God's face forever.

Stay safe y'all, and don't forget that: you're loved and you're not perfect. It's human to sin, and God-given to get back up.