I Had To Finish This In Parts Because I Was Laughing Too Hard.In Response To The Untold Thousands Of

I had to finish this in parts because i was laughing too hard. In response to the untold thousands of angry fans in the comments: 1. For God's sake calm down, the reason Godzilla is a girl is because this is a parody of Orange is the new Black. 2. The canonical gender of the Godzilla kaiju is set by Toho.  According to them, the only female kaiju in the series are one of the original Rodans, most of the Mothras, Biollante, Megaguirus, and one of the Mutos. 3. Over the years various fans have believed several canonically male kaiju to be female, including Destoroyah (anatomy resembling that of female crustaceans), Showa Rodan (it's never made clear which of the pair survived), Mothra Leo and Battra (most other Mothras are female), Kamacuras and Kumonga (female insects are larger), Zilla (Idiotic m-preg subplot intended to capitalize on the success of Jurassic Park), and Godzilla himself (mistaken for biological parent of foster offspring). 4. An interesting note comes from Haruo Nakajima, suit actor from 1954 to 1972, who claims that the second Showa Godzilla (1955-1975) was a female while the original was male, probably due to the relative slimness of the subsequent suits for better use in fight scenes.  As this belief probably translated to Nakajima's portrayal of Godzilla in nearly all of the original Showa series, it would not be amiss to consider the Showa Godzilla to be female.

Hideaki Anno Speaks About Directing Godzilla [Updated]

As some of you may have noticed, Toho has recently announced that Hideaki Anno and Shinji Higuchi, both of whom have collaborated together previously on Neon Genesis Evangelion and Giant God Warrior Appears in Tokyo, will be co-directing the new Japanese Godzilla film, slated for 2016. Given the high profile of both individuals (and Anno in particular) this was a bit of startling news which, were it not for Toho's completely serious approach to the press release and follow-up later today, might have been mistaken for an April Fool's Joke. But it's not completely out of nowhere.

I have nothing anymore.  No words.  I was originally staving off a response to Toho’s new Godzilla.  I would have gone over my hopes, my fears, my misgivings, what I expected... The Usual.  But now, I have no response.  Of all the things that could have happened, this was the furthest from my mind.  Now I have absolutely no idea what form this film will take, and trying to predict anything at this point would be an exercise in frustration.  This movie may be good, maybe bad, but is almost guaranteed to be glorious.  Well done Toho, you have managed to put me at a complete loss for words.

Congratulations...

Gareth Edwards Will Be Roaring Back To Direct Both ‘Godzilla’ 2 AND 3!

Good news for 'Godzilla' fans! It has been announced that Gareth Edwards is returning to direct both 'Godzilla 2' AND 'Godzilla 3'!

This was something I was not expecting of the new Godzilla movie: sequels.  Sure, I believed that renewed interest generated by the new film would lead to a reemergence of Toho produced Godzilla films, as it had with the 1998 movie, but I overlooked the possibility of more American sequels.  The only question is where do we go from here.

The main thing to consider is monsters.  As did most reboots in this series, Godzilla 2014 started us off with an original kaiju, two in this case.  While both previous reboots gave themselves two movies before returning to the old classics, they were generally released much closer together, with far less money backing them up (Yes Biollante came out five years after the previous movie, but that movie was a notable commercial failure, which prompted the return of Ghidorah in the next movie).  With hundreds of fans chomping at the bit for the return of their favorites, it's unlikely that Legendary will wait another movie to introduce old foes, but which one will they choose.

Both director Gareth Edwards and screenwriter Max Borenstein have stated their intention to keep the series "realistic" and thus not include the more fantastical enemies of the series.  While the concept of keeping human interaction with the monsters grounded is commendable, the idea of forcing realism on the monsters themselves is sheer folly.  That sort of mindset is the same one that gave us the much despised 1998 redesign, now rechristened Zilla.  While it might be physically possible, contrary to most analyses, for a creature as durable and powerful as Godzilla to hold up its own weight, the probably of natural selection leading to a 350 foot tall, radiation spewing dinosaur capable of weathering nuclear explosions is next to zero.  It would be the best for everyone if the pretense of realism was dropped entirely, particularly as the tone of the first film, which notably returns Godzilla to his heroic role of the 60s and 70s, does not necessarily discount a three headed space dragon or two.

Another reason to avoid limiting enemies to the more realistic monster is to prevent repetition.  The problem with most terrestrial kaiju, such as Rodan, Anguirus, and even Titanosaurus, is that they almost always have the same backstory, an ancient creature reawakened by the machinations of modern man.  This is notably identical to the backstories of Godzilla and the MUTOs, and both fans and casual viewers alike are liable to experience a sense de-ja-vu upon watching any sequel featuring them.  Most terrestrial kaiju can be somewhat generic in ability, relying on strength rather than unique powers, and resemble upscaled versions of actual animals, something already surpassed by the bizarre looking MUTOs in the first film.  Even the Toho movies understand their limitations, painting them as allies of Godzilla rather than enemies.  It would  feel weird to base an entire movie around Godzilla, particularly a somewhat benevolent version, fighting kaiju usually thought of as his friends.  So, if the more realistic kaiju can't hold up a big budget sequel, who could.

à laOne answer that has been thrown around a lot, even by the creators, is Mothra, and its easy to see why.  After Godzilla, Mothra is probably the most well known kaiju of them all, certainly one of the few to have entered greater culture.  However, there are a few problems with Mothra taking the spotlight in the upcoming sequels.  For one, Mothra is an overtly magical creature.  If the creators of the new Godzilla truly want to stick to their ideas of realism, Mothra is simply not what they are looking for.  She is a colorful moth with a pair of magical fairy helpers that fights via sprinkling sparkling dust on everything.  To render Mothra realistic would be to lose the very essence of her being, and anyone attempting to do so would quickly find themselves subjected to the outrage of Godzilla fans everywhere.  While I do not believe the new Godzilla should adhere too closely to realism, Mothra is certainly on the opposite side of the spectrum.  Another problem is that Mothra is undeniably a creature of good.  While she did destroy Tokyo in her film debut, the fault was still placed on wicked humans rather than Mothra herself, and since then she has alway be portrayed as a protector of the Earth, like Godzilla himself.  As they has identical motivations, the two monsters would simply have no reason to fight.  The Legendary Godzilla is not the vengeful beast Mothra fought in 1964, 1992, 2001, and 2003, but a benevolent creature similar to the ally she knew in the late 60s.  Unless Mothra's motivations are drastically changed a la King Ghidorah in GMK, there is little chance either creature would have much enmity for the other.  What the new movie needs is a true villain, one both instantly recognizable and undeniably menacing.

This is less of a personal choice, and more of an inevitability.  King Ghidorah is Godzilla's greatest foe, the Joker to his Batman, and it is only rational that the next movie be the kaiju version of The Dark Knight. The more and more one thinks about it, the more clear it becomes that King Ghidorah is the only real choice.  He's the most popular of Godzilla's foes, he's undeniably villianous, and he brings something new  that was lacking in the first movie: he's tougher than Godzilla himself.  King Ghidorah outclasses Godzilla in height by an average of 50 meters,  is usually even more resistant to attacks, and has the ability to fly as well as his own set of energy rays to compete with Godzilla's iconic atomic breath.  Rather than two lesser Kaiju teaming up to bring down the King of the Monsters, Godzilla himself would be the underdog in such a film.  King Ghidorah also has a notably different origin that the monsters of the first films, originating from space in most of his appearances.  Building off of his world conquering first appearance, a smart director like Gareth Edwards could spin Ghidorah into an almost lovecraftian entity, traveling between worlds and rendering them desolate wastelands.  The only real question is how he should look.

King Ghidorah is a rather hard monster to redesign, particularly if one aims to make him more realistic.  While Ghidorah may seem to be a fairly simply dragon design, many of his seemingly minor details subtly convey a more unearthly origin.  Changing any of these details will render him far more generic.  One mistake many amateur redesigns make is to alter the wings, making them more defined and bat like.  The problem is that Ghidorah's wings are traditionally built like a fish fin or even a flower petal, with veins radiating out from the base rather than the upper middle.  This gives him an almost butterfly like profile, and these insectile qualities contrast from his otherwise dragonish appearance, and remind audiences that he is unlike anything on our planet.  Another common mistake is the alteration of the tails, turning them into a single appendage that divides at the end into two prongs,  like that of Monster X.  Again, the issue with this approach is that it strives to make more generic a design that thrives on its strangeness.  One of the most anatomically bizarre facts about King Ghidorah is that its vertebre and spinal cord splits at least three times, twice at the shoulders and once at the hips, an anatomical oddity unaccounted for any terrestrial vertebrate.  The bifurcated tail makes King Ghidorah unique among other multi headed monsters, unknown in function and alien in design, resulting in a creature that blossoms on both ends instead of one.  I would even argue for the return of the Showa Ghidorah noises.  Overlooked by Toho in recent years, they are none the less the most iconic and memorable effects associated with the three headed monster.  Again, this has to do with the unearthly: It is far more disconcerting to have a 500 foot fall monster chirp and cackle at you than a generic roar.  Of, course, this is all conjecture.  Until the new movie takes a more defined shape, all we can do is speculate,  predict, and hope that those in charge make the right choices.

Let’s not forget that Mothra convinced the second Showa Godzilla, a creature that was mutated by nuclear fire, lost the last member of it’s race to another human created super weapon, was trapped in ice for 6 years by yet more yet more humans, and was antagonized back into the sea by Mothra herself, to become the protector of humanity solely by appealing to his/her better side.  Chessmaster indeed.

An obscure power shared by Mothra and Battra. For lack of an official name, I think I’ll call it the Taser Grip.

(Also, how much of a chess master is Mothra, persuading Battra to put himself directly into harm’s way?)

This is what I feel elevates Tokusatsu above all other forms of special effects: sheer spontaneity.  You would never see Ray Harryhausen spend hours recreating Thriller with the Argonauts skeletons or have Stan Winston program his hydraulic Tyrannosaurus to take someone on a lovely stroll through downtown, but with Tokusatsu, all you need is a costume and a wiling suit performer to create something amazing.

Never forget the video of Ultra monsters doing “Thriller” (X).

The top picture reminds me of the excellent posters that the Heisei Series always had.  Is it a coincidence or were they still making similar ones in the Millennium Series?

CD covers for Kow Otani’s score to Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (2001).