Do I Work Here? Sometimes

Do I work here? Sometimes

Do I know where food is? No

Am I from around here? Not this city, no

Why am I here? Work

Why don't I know my way around? It's cute you think I'm told anything

I'm reading, as ya do, and I may or may not have gotten inspiration and written the ending for How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have....

Why didn't I do this before?

Danny: *introduces a spicy piece of lore that others would call trauma (not to be confused with ✨trauma✨)*

Dick, wondering what the hell happened to the sunshine incarnate before he showed up on his apartment: Say sike. Say sike right the fuck now."

Danny 'I'm not a therapist, that's my sister Fenton': "Um...sike?"

Dick '21 is too young for grey hairs!' Grayson: "There isn't nearly enough alcohol-!"

Tim, watching this all go down from Drake Manor via security cameras he had Danny put up: Is this...a best friend?

Danny: *trauma dumps like he's talking about the weather*

Constantine: "Say sike. Say sike right the fuck now."

Danny: "Um....sike?"

Constantine, forgoing his flask in favor of a bottle of vodka: "There isn't nearly enough alcohol-!"

So, I decided to finally make Danny's coffee order for Enough Caffeine To Kill An Elephant.

The average weight of a female elephant is between 7,700 and 9,000 pounds. I decided to use the higher number because it's funnier.

Anyway, I did a quick weight to caffeine search and the second result said 5 milligrams to 1 kilogram (2.2 pounds because I'm American)

Taking the 9,000 lbs weight of an elephant and translating it into kilograms gave me 4,050 kilograms. What I did from there was multiply the caffeine to the weight to get how much caffeine would be in Phantom's coffee.

20,250 milligrams of caffeine to 4,050 kilograms of elephant.

Holy shit.

Maybe we should try harder to keep that particular recipe from Tim....and the living world as a whole

I'm crying!

My grandpa (mom's dad) has collected stuffed animals since before I can remember. He's got about 100 of them off the top of my head that he keeps in the basement (where he spends most of his time.

I've been adding rubber ducks to his collection because giving (specifically ducks) is a love language of mine.

Mom just got back from her parents' place and said that Grandpa was worried I wasn't feeling well lately, so he sent home one of his stuffed animals! It's a ducky!

I'm crying, guys!

Cramps hitting just as I'm recovering from having teeth pulled is aphobic of the universe to allow!