TW: lots of dark and uncomfy topics but if you're here that's probably what you're looking for ... I hope that someday we can both find a way to be ok.... I don't care what that way is.... whatever finally brings peace 20 years old
157 posts
I HAVE FUCKING NO ONE. I STAY IN MY FUCKING ROOM AND JUST PRETEND. PRETEND THAT MY LIFE IS DIFFERENT,
I HAVE FUCKING NO ONE. I STAY IN MY FUCKING ROOM AND JUST PRETEND. PRETEND THAT MY LIFE IS DIFFERENT, THAT IM DIFFERENT, THAT THINGS ARE DIFFERENT. I DONT WANT TO PRETEND ANYMORE. I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY. I WANT TO HAVE FRIENDS. I WANT TO HAVE PLANS. I WANT TO HAVE MEMORIES. I WANT TO HAVE FUN AND LAUGH AND HUG. I NEED A HUG. I NEED HUMAN CONTACT. I NEED SOMEONE TO CARE. I NEED SOMEONE.
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If the rest of my life is like this I’m gonna be honest… I will definitely be killing myself at some point
When did this start? When did I wake up hating myself? When did I start avoiding every mirror I came across? When did I hate being in pictures? When did my smiles become forced, and difficult? When did I stop looking both ways when I crossed the street? When did I stop leaving the house because I hated the way I looked that day? When did I grow to hate myself so much that I did physical damage to my body? When did I realize I had to change my wardrobe to hide the scars? When did I start avoiding everybody that ‘loves’ me? When did I start wanting to leave this world? It’s been so long, I don’t remember.