No Matter How Many Times My Favorite Person Tells Me He Loves Me I Don't Believe Him. I Can't Believe

No matter how many times my favorite person tells me he loves me I don't believe him. i can't believe him. I'm afraid of dying and not having ever felt truly loved. It's like there's a wall up in my mind that prevents me from thinking anyone could ever possibly love me. Because how do you really know?

you don't.

ouch being reminded you’re the biggest waste of space hurts

One of the worst possible things about having bpd is having no sense of self.

Imagine going through life tied down to a total stranger. I am constantly changing, not knowing what I like or don’t like. I base my value on other people around me. Isn’t that so fucking pathetic? And there’s nothing to do that can change it.

I am a stranger to myself and nobody hates the way I am more than I do.

I had forgotten about so many of these ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

100 little things I stayed alive for

Reflecting on the little things that kept me around when I didn’t want to be. It’s not wrong if the only thing you’re living for is trivial. Try to remember your own✨

Warm bed, cold room

The animals outside

My favorite artists releasing new content

My favorite creators releasing new content

Eating the dough when I bake

Seeing animals at the zoo

Growing plants

Laughter

Wearing my favorite outfit

Deep diving on a topic I’m into

Laying in the sunlight through the window

New funny memes

Dogs

Stuffed animals

Oversized sweatshirts

A really good meal

A really good sweet treat

Music that gives me chills

Colorful flowers

Spite

Curiosity

New books

Cool rocks

Low lighting

Vanilla candles

When the weather starts to cool

Waking up and realizing I have hours longer to sleep

Funny videos online

Leaning a new skill

Realizing I’m passionate about something

Rivers

Mountains

Pretty landscapes

Listening to a song/album on repeat

Sitting down after standing for a while

Bird nests

Crocheted clothes

Rain

Thunder

Clouds

Road trips

Winning bingo

Crunchy piles of leaves

Accidental jokes

Discovering new music

Petty revenge

Love (of anyone or thing)

A dog running to you

Finding a really good restaurant

Ice cream with a hot dessert

Cold water

Wholesome videos online

Finding something really cute on sale

Coloring

Writing

Late nights

Deep conversations

Discovering a new aspect to my personality

Sleeping

Odd compliments

Freaking out with a fandom

Slime

Dogs again

Blowing dandelions

Someone getting my reference

Dancing to music alone

Learning useless facts

Learning funny facts

Telling an anecdote someone is interested in

Learning to cook

Dogs again

Taking a photo of myself that I like

Gift giving

Getting gifts

Winning carnival games

Feeling free

The sound of streams

Baths

Doing my hair

Doing my makeup

Taking a pretty picture

Windy days

Seeing the stars

A child laughing or smiling to me

Decorating my water bottle

Wind chimes

Binging a good tv show

Homemade gifts

Ice cream trucks

Making someone laugh

Overcoming a fear

Making progress internally

Inside jokes

Finding something after searching for a while

When the world feels paused / not real

Finding a nice-feeling texture

Smooth drawing pens

Colorful sunsets

Waterfalls

A really good story

If none of these resonate enough to help, I implore you to come up with your own :)