Im Relistening To The First Season Of TMA To Help Me Focus On Stuff. And I Just Love That The First Voice

I’m relistening to the first season of TMA to help me focus on stuff. And I just love that the first voice other than Jon’s that we hear is a statement givers. Then Elias and then Martin. Idk it’s just as more happens in the new season, this little bit makes me happy.

You ever have a character you love dearly? Got so much shit figured out about them, all their backstory and even an idea of where their life is going. And yet. The fucking setting. My wonderful OC has no city to take over and I really can’t figure out. The idea was a city where the wealthy cling to the past and tradition and old ass architecture (all while still taking advantage of modern tech) but the poor live in slums with broken down pieces of the modern world. Then my mind was like “Oh but what if we added magic?” “But how can I have magic and science in one go without screwing up one or the other?” “Idk figure it out.”

The first one, they chalked up as a fluke. Every store had their share of Karens and, statistically, they were bound to get one. She was exactly as they expected, the haircut and everything. She even had a necklace with the single word ‘Love’ hanging from her badly tanned neck. The Karen had screamed about not being able to use a six month expired coupon, made the cashier cry, and called the manager a fucking idiot before storming out. It certainly could have been worse and the entire staff laughed about it later, the story circulating quickly.

None of them could have expected what came after. There were a few cases after the first Karen came (one had mistaken a customer for an employee, another had deliberately made a mess to try to sue, and a third had broken merchandise when she found out her favorite tea was out of stock) but they never connected them. Until it was too late. Until every other customer seemed to have disappeared, each one replaced by one of those horrid monsters. Karens in all shapes and sizes. Some didn’t even have the trademark signs, meaning they didn’t know the danger until it hit them full in the face. Literally and figuratively.

Managers were killed off left and right. Corporate claimed that they had transferred stores or had simply quit but the staff knew better. Enough of them had seen what really happened. The skin of their faces had peeled under the onslaught of shouting. Blood flowed from their ears, more blood than should have been possible. As if their brains had melted down to flow out as well. Their screams stayed in the air for weeks, echoing around and driving many a new hire insane. There were those who left the store with tear scars on their cheeks. Some never stopped crying long enough to quit. Dried husks were stored in the break room. Someone sat them in chairs, posed them like they were still there but just taking a long break. It was morbid but it was one of the few ways they could cope.

The senior staff claimed to have seen worse and seemed unaffected most days, though plenty could see the haunted looks in their eyes. They dealt with the Super Karens, taking the blows so others didn’t have to. They had no hope anyways. Nothing to lose. And when they saw high schoolers being hired on they just shook their heads. None of them even tried to appeal to the Retail Gods for those poor children, it was a lost cause in their minds.

They didn’t know that these poor kids, raised up on tales told by older siblings/cousins/friends, were already prepared. They entered the store with smiles on their faces and wicked fire burning behind their eyes. Sure, they had to deal with the Karens. But the Karens also had to deal with them.

You thought they were myths. Simply legends, nothing more. Until you met one at the local grocery store.

A Karen.

Attention D&D Newbies!

Are you between the ages of 18 and 30? Are you LGBTQ+ friendly? Have you never played D&D before or only played it once but want to continue? Are you interested in D&D because of TAZ or Critical Role and want to play with people who won’t judge you for that? Then this is the post for you!

Me and @minilagreen are searching for new players. We want to make a group for those who have never played or are just starting out, giving us all a chance to learn together. (We’re planning on playing 5e.) We are accepting those who want to be players and those who want to DM, though either of us is willing to DM if we have no volunteers. If you’re at all interested, message either of us!

A Moment

Call the craven

Tell them the news

The ground is soft and this field is pretty

They’ll like the breeze that shakes the flowers

I’ve taken my last step, I’m too tired to take another

There’s a few clouds above

The sun’s bright but not hot

Though everything feels cold right now

I’ve got last words

Let the bugs hear them

Let the leaves shake and spread them

This feels like peace if I’ve ever felt it

Throughout the night, as her boyfriend’s friends had each become a victim to the masked killer’s blade, Kate had considered her final moments. It was a normal thing to think about, or at least she told herself it was normal. Anyone outside of this sort of situation shouldn’t be allowed to judge, in her opinion. But really, the thoughts had been passing. Steeling her resolve to live. When poor Becca had died begging for her life, Kate had decided that, even if she was caught, she wasn’t going down like that. She’d go out angry. Frothing at the mouth, completely out of her mind as she tried to take the killer out with her. That seemed like a good way to go. Kate didn’t want her last moments to be filled with a soul crushing despair.

But the second Brad slammed the door shut behind him, locking it, leaving her trapped inside the abandoned asylum with the killer as they slowly got closer, that was exactly what she felt. Kate wished she could say she was surprised but she’d known Brad was smart. He may look the part of the dumb jock but he had far more sense than most gave him credit for. Especially when it came to keeping himself living comfortably and living in general. Leaving her behind, sacrificing her, would give Brad a better chance of getting away. More than if they stuck together.

Kate slammed her fists against the door, wild screaming tearing up through her throat just as the last of her anger was squashed by the crushing sense of nearing doom. She slumped against the door before finally, after running for so long and fighting so hard, falling to the ground. Kate heard the killer behind her, walking slowly forwards, and closed her eyes as she waited for her end. Hopefully, it would be quicker and cleaner than the others.

The very last thing she expected was for the killer to speak to her. They’d been silent the entire time, seeming to gain nothing from the violence. But their voice, while definitely annoyed, was gentle when they addressed her. “Wow what a jerk. You okay?” The killer had stopped now, only a few feet away going off their voice.

It was enough to get Kate to move, to turn so she was sitting and looking up into that masked face. Blue eyes stared down at her, softened with concern, the only part of their face that the raven mask wasn’t hiding. “Fuck you. Just get it over with.” Kate said, voice cracking. A lump was in her throat and her eyes stung.

“Oh shit right.” The killer said and slapped their forehead with the base of their hand. “It’s been such a long night, I forgot you don’t know.” Kate watched as the killer reached up, holding their still bloodied knife in two fingers as they used the others to pull off the mask. The face behind it was delicate, young. “I’m Suzy. I’m Brad’s ex-girlfriend.” The killer said with a small wave of her non-cluttered hand. Suzy had a blonde pixie cut and a big smile with dimples on either side.

“Is that why you were trying to kill him? Why you killed the others?” Kate asked. Might as well get some answers before it ended.

“Wish I could kill him but I don’t have it in me, you know? I mean, I like a good fight but killing?” Suzy shook herself, making a face like she’d eaten something sour. Then she plopped down on the ground, crossed her legs, and tossed her weapon to the side. The mask soon followed it. “The others are actually only a mile from here. We have a tent set up with snacks and stuff so when you’re ready to go we’ll head over there.” Suzy said. Cheerfully. Still smiling.

Kate was shaking. She felt like she was going to vibrate out of her skin and she stopped trying not to cry. “What the fuck are you talking about?” She asked. Was this freak just messing with her? Toying with her before the kill?

Suzy winced, smile finally falling, and a sob added to Kate’s shaking. “We sort of staged this entire night.”

What? “…What?”

“All of this was fake.” Suzy admitted sheepishly. “See, Brad thought he killed me right before he started dating you and he didn’t do anything about it. Didn’t report it or anything. So when I showed up out of nowhere and told our friends, we all decided to get back at him.” Suzy looked away from her, down at the large black robe she was wearing. She plucked at it, tearing at loose threads. “I wanted to let you in on it but the others thought you wouldn’t go along with it. Or that maybe you hadn’t realized that Brad was a dick yet.” Suzy glanced up at Kate but quickly looked away again.

This was unbelievable. It was impossible. It was so fucking stupid! “Why didn’t you just go to the police?” Kate questioned. There was heat traveling up her back now. Pinpricks on her skin. A sort of rushing inside her head.

Again, Suzy seemed to shrink with guilt. “Honestly, I was planning on faking my death anyways. But that’s a whole separate thing, I don’t want to get into it right now. I’m just really sorry we had to put you through this.” Suzy actually did meet Kate’s eyes to apologize. Looking back, Kate would believe that was the only reason she didn’t attack the other girl.

It still took every ounce of willpower Kate had not to go straight for Suzy’s throat. “Okay. Fine. Whatever.” She gritted out. Kate was willing to let this go but there was no way in Hell she was ever forgiving it. The night was going to settle into her heart, make her remember with every beat.

A lot of time passed as Kate forced her body to relax. It took even more time for her to steady her breathing and get the fire in her veins to die out. Suzy answered a walkie talkie during that time, Becca’s voice ringing out asking if everything was okay. At least Suzy hadn’t been lying.

“Ready to go?” Suzy asked when Kate seemed to have calmed down completely.

Kate nodded. And accepted Suzy’s help when she couldn’t stand, legs still shaking too much. Maybe someday this would all be funny. It was certainly going to be an interesting story to tell someone someday. But for now she wanted the whole thing to be done with. And some of the damn snacks Suzy had mentioned.

You and your significant other are running for your lives from a slasher killer. Suddenly your partner ducks into a door and locks it behind them leaving you behind. You slump against the door preparing for the worst. The killer walks up and says “Wow what a jerk. You ok?”