Guide To Become Your Best Version

guide to become your best version ✨

the first step, be clear about what your best version would look like. questions to ask yourself.

what would my best version look like?

what habits would i have?

what would my life be like?

what would be my morning and evening routine?

what thoughts would i have?

what would i focus on?

what thoughts and habits should i leave behind?

how would i like to feel?

and lastly…

what can i start doing to connect with this version of me?

you can also add your own questions if they resonate with you, the important thing about this exercise is that you connect a little bit more with that better version of yourself.

from my experience, it is important to focus and work on these three areas of our life at the same time so that none of these areas are out of balance and we can flow to that version more easily.

it is important because i have realized from my own experience and from other people who send me questions that they only focus on one area, in most cases, the habits, and forget others, then when something happens or we go through a bad moment we feel lost and it seems that everything is "wrong" but if we work on these areas at the same time and we nurture them day by day we will have more control of our emotions and thoughts, then we will not stagnate in "bad times". remember, we can always go through bad times but these always bring us a learning experience.

✨ physical

daily movement, create an exercise routine

eating healthy food, for the sake and perfect functioning of our body.

create a daily routine that will help us reach our goals.

healthy habits

hobbies that help us connect with our best self.

focus on the well-being of our body

✨ mental and emotional

read about personal growth, psychology, and topics that will help us to improve our personal best.

journaling

keep a daily record of our emotions, as well as our habits.

focus on what we do want rather than what we don't want

detect what our negative thought patterns are and change them for - more positive ones according to how we want to think and feel from now on.

affirm positively

work on those areas of our life that we need to improve or are damaged

✨ spiritual

healing and balancing both your feminine and masculine energies

develop your intuition

have faith in yourself and in the process of creation (god, universe, energy…)

read about spirituality

meditate day and night

doing energetic cleansing

connect with your spiritual side

love yourself for who you are now

forgive the people who hurt us and forget the past

practice gratitude

practice compassion and tolerance towards yourself and others

connect with nature

this is what i believe brings us closer to becoming our best version, as i am always learning new things about the subject and evolving both personally and spiritually so i will continue to share this in future posts.

as always all questions related to the topic are welcome and if you have any doubts you can also ask.

Debugging the Fear Algorithm

A day in the life of someone dealing with anxiety is pretty straightforward: it's just a constant loop of overthinking that never seems to quit. All those thoughts strung together create a seriously harmful cycle. Funny thing is, the person going through it might not even realize they're stuck in this same old pattern, but anxiety just eats up every moment of their time. If you recognize yourself in the example below, congrats ! You're already taking the first step toward healing, which is to open your darn eyes to reality.

Admit it. Every day, every second, your mind is looking for a new reason to feel terrified. It could be worrying about what someone might think of you, a thought that will linger until you're mentally drained. Or perhaps, you spend hours fearing that your loved ones will leave you, that what you hold dear will disappear one day, that you'll never find happiness, to the point where you sink into a black hole of despair. That's not even your fault ! Honestly, only those who have never experienced anxiety could underestimate the weight of facing your own demons. That sh!t feels like being held by the collar over an abyss.

But like, where in the world does that even come from?

Who cares ???

I'm so done with those well-being articles that go on and on explaining the origin of the problem, sometimes without any proof of their explanation, and then throw at you fuzzy instructions. "Accept your situation! Embrace your emotions! Focus on your breathing!". I mean, even if these tips did the trick (not saying they're all useless, who knows), these articles never tell you exactly how to do it and totally ignore the freaking reality of a real anxious person: living in constant fear of some invisible danger. So, regardless of the murky origin of why you operate like that, let's get down to business.

Some practical advice

For small fears

This advice if for when you get anxious over something trivial, perhaps even small OCD. Let's say you're trying to build some healthy habits, like sticking to a regular bedtime. But when the time comes, you get caught in a cycle of stress, doubting your ability to stick to your resolutions. You become overwhelmed with anxiety, completely disconnect (it's called the freeze response), and end up letting the hours slip away. To sum it up, you go to bed feeling drained and like you're a HUGE failure.

What to do? Romanticize. For now. Or rather, play it down. Dedramatize. Look, repeating to yourself that you're worthless and should do better will only reinforce the cycle and push you further into depression. The problem isn't you; it's that your brain is playing games, tormenting you with these little repetitive fears.

Just tell yourself that these hours spent staying up are your me-time for now, that everyone has it from time to time, and that you'll eventually sleep earlier when you've had enough of being in your lazy era. A bit of temporary indulgence, even if it seems like a strange method, is more likely to work than hammering into your head that you're good for nothing and incapable of keeping your commitments. Tested and approved method. So, remember: de-dra-ma-tize.

For medium (or mundane ?) fears

Everyday life fears can even drain your day more, because you feel like the consequences are even more real. Someone said something this morning, and you're not sure if it was mean. Your train got canceled, and you need to find a solution quickly. You don't understand the instructions you were given at work, and you're embarassed to ask again. You received an unusual administrative letter to handle. Your phone is acting up, and the customer service isn't very cooperative. You have to go grocery shopping by bus an hour away from home with a fragile plastic bag, and it's dark outside. The list goes on.

These fears are as real as your response needs to be pragmatic: get organized. Plan. Be logical. Don't magnify in your head what that person said, don't interpret it; if they don't like you, you'll eventually find out. Panicking won't find you a train home. Go talk to a station agent or quickly check the next schedules. Anticipate. Find a way to have your work checked ("Hey, can we recap the meeting from earlier? I understppd we need to do xyz, is that right?"). Seek help from someone experienced with administration, ask all your questions to staff, take notes while they talk, ask for more explanations when you don't understand, no matter if you feel like you're looking dumb. Focus on information, facts. Emotions don't matter. Change your phone. Plan your journey in advance, wear that coat that will keep you warm outside even if it's not "glamorous." Set alarms on your phone… you get it.

Mundane fears often don't stand a chance against a pragmatic strategy.

For... big bad fears

Yeah, you know the fears I'm talking about. The ones that make you feel like you're atomized with anxiety and that the world is about to collapse right here, right now. The ones that suddenly strip away all meaning from the little simple things, from life in general.

The first step to healing from this kind of fears is to acknowledge the them. I know what you might be thinking. "Here we go again with some cheesy advice. This girl is telling me to do this vague thing, 'acknowledge' things, as if it's going to put an end to the perpetual suffering that's been ruining my life for years." So, let me get more precise : healing only begins when you've been confronted with your own mess, not once, not twice, but at least four or five times.

When you've brooded enough on your fears, you'll realize that this constant terror, this slow daily death isn't a way to live. At that point, "choosing happiness" (this trendy expression is the worst for those dealing with feelings of helplessness or lack of self-confidence) won't even be a tough decision; it simply will be the only way forward. If you're reading these words thinking you can't make this decision, do not worry. You will get there. Suffering will eventually open your eyes, and you'll end up surprising yourself with your own strength.

Defeats will become your strength

The fear will return. It will return when you've forgotten why you decided to get better. It will sneak in during the quiet hours of the night or right in the middle of a peaceful morning to mess everything up. It will come back anyway, but weaker and weaker. Why? Because you'll gradually become an expert at handling it, and also exposure desensitizes to fear. Here are some facts I know to be true :

"It's time to panic." = No, it's time to get organized.

"I'm screwed." = No, you're not.

"I believe this person hates me." = A belief isn't a fact.

"My life is a mess." = For now. Nothing dramatic.

"I won't make it through this time." = Actually, you will.

"I'm tired of the challenges." = Talk to someone and take a break. You need to catch your breath.

"I can't find the will to keep fighting." = It will come. Like everything else, it takes practice.

I am no doctor, this is just life experience. Keep fighting everyone!

How I prep for a new semester at uni:

I make a new time block sheet. I put all my classes in, then my commute time. From there I plan study hours, when I need to wake up to not feel rushed, work hours, etc. This plan helps to keep me from getting too overwhelmed and let me feel like I have everything under control.

I do my school shopping on prime day or after the back to school rush. You'll find those nice multi subject notebooks on sale for cheap and fun stationary and backpacks a lot cheaper like this!

I try to get a head start in classes. If I know we're reading a book or something I'll start a couple weeks before school starts. I try to take notes on as many chapters/subjects as I can and all that. This not only helps me get ahead, but it also helps me for when I inevitably fall behind.

I get all the routine maintenance done on my car. I drive over an hour to get to classes so this is very important. Oil change, tire rotation, balance, filters, etc. I save up my summer tips to get all this done.

I stock up on easy and fast foods. Instant noodles, granola bars, frozen meals, etc. Between working a lot and doing classes I don't have the energy to cook and do dishes so this saves me.

I give myself little reasons to get excited. The teacher or the campus or a friend. Whatever it may be. I HAVE to have a reason to drive that long to attend a class for an hour and come back and not get stressed.

I make a food budget. It's so easy to spend $150 a week on snacks and treats and coffees and such. So I have to set a budget and a plan for myself so I can actually pay my rent haha

I plan my walks to classes on campus. Where I'll park, how much time I have between classes, how to get there, etc.

If I have late classes, I make sure that I can call someone after every class as I walk to my car to make sure I'm safe.

Plan little treats and rewards. If I realize there's a week that's going to be super hard on me, I'll plan a little early morning walk or something special I don't do often after as a reward.

I try to be more positive to myself the closer the semester comes. I have to be proud of me and my work. I have to be confident in my abilities. So I have to have that mindset. Which is super hard as someone with severe anxiety and depression and who has been conditioned growing up to be quiet and a background character essentially. But I AM good. I AM smart. I can ace these classes. I deserve to be here and I deserve good things.

I triple check with my job to make sure they have my updated availability and will give me the flexibility I require due to my classes.

Overall, I just get my shit together once again and try and get myself excited. I have the opportunity to study at a university and that in itself is absolutely amazing and something I don't take for granted.