The Entire CR Fandom: Yeah This Can't Be Travis's Campaign PC, He's Probably Gonna Die

The entire CR fandom: Yeah this can't be Travis's campaign PC, he's probably gonna die 🤪

The entire CR fandom now: By talos, this can't be happening

Elden Ring Spoilers(Idea for an AU)

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Man what I would give for an AU where every time the Tarnished gets a Great Rune the boss just acts like the Ranni Doll and just starts talking to the Tarnished whenever. Like the comedy of just beating Godrick’s ass then activating his Rune then sitting down and hearing some insecurely delivered old english lines which equate to basically “YOU FUCKER I’M STILL BETTER THAN YOU, BdhajsjDJDJFUCK YOU” and just dealing with that until you get another rune like Rykard’s and Godrick just immediately shuts up about Grafting, like seriously just imagine like

Right after the Rykard fight

Godrick: Ah, a fellow Shardbearer! How are yo-

Rykard, in the most ridiculous snake voice: I shall become one with all, and I shall overthrow the GODS

Godrick, realizing how much that sounds like Grafting:……..Oh fuck did I sound like that?

Then Radahn joins and it’s just Godrick being scared because remember: Godrick literally hid in his castle like a bitch to avoid fighting Radahn. Also Radahn just being like

Radahn: So…. How’d turning into a snake go for ya, Ryke?

Rykard: …This is why Mother didn’t love you Radahn

And then it just GOES FROM THERE

Then Morgott and Mohg join and it’s just turns into Family Time with these fuckers with them ribbing on their nephew a bunch and the Tarnished just has to listen in, then Malenia joins and it’s just a clown car full of these fuckers with one(1) singular brain cell in the form of her which completely goes away in one sentence

Radahn:…. So does running to the other side of the continent not count as defeat in your books orrrr.

And just CHAOS from there.

Then there’s Godrick freaking out when he sees Godfrey is still alive and nerding the fuck out, Morgott and Mohg watching their father mourn for one of them, realizing that he actually did love them, Radahn turning into a WWE fan when Godfrey becomes Hoarah Loux. and all 3 sides of the family(Radagon+Rennala/Marika+Radagon/Godfrey+Marika) all realizing that they all had at least one parent in common when Marika literally turns into Radagon, all of them freaking out when their parent turns into a GODDAMN ELDRITCH BEAST WHICH WIELDS A FLESH SWORD… and then all of them just debating which ending to pick when the Tarnished just gets married to Ranni lol

Raise your hand if you watched Child Soldier Hunter Golden Guard, proud servant to a creepy old man who is straight up abusing him, give the Hexside kids the fake name “Caleb” and just momentarily black out.

Cursed school presentations? Thank you!

I hate presentations 😂but who doesn’t?

The fun thing about Elden Ring’s backstory being the Soulsborne version of Knives Out is that strictly speaking you don’t need to invent any relationships that aren’t already present and established in the source material in order to do a domestic AU, and while I can’t imagine why anyone would actually want to, the tools are there.

Other worlds! Alien visitors! Can we get more on that! I need it!