AHHH I LOVE LONG SPECULATIVE BIOLOGY POSTS

AHHH I LOVE LONG SPECULATIVE BIOLOGY POSTS

Mermay Special Prompt 3

“Are you kidding? No one goes to Gotham, that place is like,” Aquaman made a motion with his hand, a not-quite grimace on his face. “Like things should not be living in the water, like it should be impossible, and things should be dead, but they aren’t and it’s like, like the equivalent of an undead apocalypse over there!” 

Bruce rolled his eyes behind his cowl, taking a sip of his coffee as the others continued drinking. Socialize, they said, it’ll be fine they said. Well excuse him, but the waters weren’t that bad. Sure there were always dumped bodies, and chemicals from the rogue attacks, but it was far worse at one point.

One thing he’ll always be relieved for is how the… curse (thank you broken statuette back in the beginning of his vigilante career that fused with the other many curses of Gotham) made the people of Gotham actually care about the waters around them. 

Though also, he couldn’t help but thank anything that might be listening for the fact that the curse only interacted with Gotham waters, because losing legs with any risk of a drop of water would be downright annoying. 

“No dude, you don’t understand, no one goes there for a reason! That shit is horrific- someone saw a big thing with bits of rebar stabbed straight through it and still chased after a big alligator-thing!” Oh. Oh that had been him. Oops. Hopefully his kids didn’t find out about this, but they were probably already on the cameras. Dammnit. 

ACTUAL COMFORT CHARACTER JACK O MOON

nobuddy feels like they have a sharp attention span these days, right? and we all just click “agree on terms of service” because its hard to love yourself sometimes, well

enter Terms of Service, Didn’t Read: a website and a browser addon that streamlines the terms of service of many popular web services to be read by the tech sunday drivers.

It’s graded from A (great) to E (awful) and if you have the addon you have access to the info about the website on your bar

And then Donnie never makes a joke ever again

alright potato, please don’t give me a generational curse and or backfire.

Witch Y/N, visiting their shadow demons in the basement: boys, none of you are paying rent.

Sun, floating over and purring: we can pay the rent in kisses, love.

Moon, reaching with his claws to play with Y/N's hair: cuddles, caresses.

Eclipse, manifesting from the darkness, kissing Y/N's hand: all of your deepest desires...

Witch Y/N: awww....no seriously, you three need to start contributing to the household.

Sun, after Y/N leaves and closes the door: well, brothers, the day has come when we need to find a job.

Moon, crankily: I'll go search the papers.

Eclipse, grinning: And I'll go rob some banks.