Coming Out - Colin Ritman (Bandersnatch)

Coming Out - Colin Ritman (Bandersnatch)

This was such a cute ask, I tried not to project what I would want if I were to come out to a friend, tried to make it as Colin-y as possible lmao. Anyway, thanks sweet Anon, I enjoyed writing it!

Warnings: Mentions of homophobia, hate crimes, Colin acting like Colin (mostly), and drug use

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You were so nervous, palms sweaty and a layer of skin on your bottom lip freshly chewed off as you anxiously watched buildings and trees pass by from your window seat on the bus.

In an another world, this would've been easier, simple. But unfortunately, the time you lived in was less than simple.

Every day you heard horror stories of people getting beaten to death, kicked out of their homes, shunned by friends and families, so you felt justified in your nervousness for wanting to finally come out. You just couldn't live like this anymore, at least, not to your best friend.

You had been friends with Colin for years now, everything just made sense when you first met him. It was magical how quickly the two of you bonded, it was almost like you were soul mates. But that feeling didn't make it any easier when you decided you wanted to share your deepest secret with him.

In your heart, you might've known that Colin would never stop being your friend just because you were attracted to women. Colin was one of the most progressive people you ever met. But this kind of thing wasn't really talked about often, if so, it would be discussed in private in hushed whispers even if nobody else was in the room. You knew how your parents felt about it, thinking it's unnatural and never hesitating to throw around every homophobic slur imaginable. It was a good thing you were able to provide for yourself, so you didn't have to worry about being thrown out on the streets. But Colin was your chosen family, and being rejected by him would feel a lot worse.

You arrived at Colin's flat, the bus ride over feeling like it was over too fast. You thought you'd have more time to hype yourself up. Despite your intense nervousness, you put one foot in front of the other, trying not to think about why you were there, but just that you were visiting your best friend. Tried to ignore your rapidly pounding heart, how acutely aware you were of your heavy breathing, the puffs of air being visible in the cold weather.

As soon as Colin opened his front door, he immediately took notice of your state. "You good, mate?" He asked.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah. It's just really fuckin' cold out." You laughed dryly.

Colin could tell you were lying, but he kept a neutral expression. "Well, come in then. I'll fix you some tea." You smirked slightly, knowing it wouldn't be just tea. But maybe it would relax you a little, so you didn't refuse.

You sipped on your tea while watching Colin work on his latest game, already feeling the effects of whatever drug he laced it in, it was a pretty relaxing one due to how calm you started to feel. But that one reason you agreed to hang out with him still floated around in your mind, and you wondered if it would be better to get it over with or build up to it with conversation.

"So..." You dragged out, "do anything fun recently?" Colin immediately looked at you in confusion, feeling the underlying judgment in his expression. Yeah, you weren't one to make small talk. You sighed, putting down your mug on the table that sat in his office, your nerves coming back in full force that even drugs couldn't save you from.

"Just tell me whatever the fuck's on your mind, mate." Colin spat out, obviously annoyed. "You tell me everything, what's so different this time?"

You chuckled nervously, most people finding his bluntness rude but you found it as a sign of trust between the two of you, he was never afraid to speak his mind around you. "It's kinda hard to talk about, for me, at least."

Colin's eyes softened briefly when he saw how nervous you actually were, he had a sense of it when you first arrived, but he could clearly see how much your hands were shaking as they rubbed together. He probably should've been a bit more sympathetic. "How long have we've been best friends?"

"Uh, almost five years now, I believe." You answered.

"If I can put up with you for as long as I have, what makes you think that'll change any time soon?" That's the best he could do, but he tried. You giggled, which he took as a good sign that he didn't fuck up his words too much.

"Well," You started with a stutter, "there's something about myself that I haven't told you yet. Since we've been friends for so long, I've started to feel guilty about keeping this from you. I'm, uh...I'm attracted to women...only women." There, you said it, but you didn't expect such a weight to be lifted off your shoulders, but it happened. You felt like you could finally take a deep breath, but you still tried to focus on Colin's reaction, if he even had one.

"Cool. So, that's it?" He said simply, leaving you shocked.

"What do you mean that's it?" You asked, slightly offended.

"I thought you were gonna tell me that you murdered someone or something."

"Wait, wait, wait...did you know?"

"No."

"And you're not, like, shocked?"

"Why would I be? You're still you, preferring one gender to another isn't gonna change that, not for me. What? Were you expecting me to want to stone you or something?"

"Well, no. It's just, not many people accept people like me."

"Y/n, really. You know me. You know I'd accept you for whoever you are. I'd accept you even if you did murder someone, I'd even help you bury the body." Colin chuckled dryly, bringing a joint to his mouth and lighting it, taking a long drag before turning to look at you again. You still had a slightly shocked expression on your face, and he felt the need to say something else. "Look, I," He sighed, "I'm no good at emotions and all that shit, but I do hope you believe me when I say that I do accept you for who you are."

You smiled softly. "Of course I do." You grabbed onto his hand and squeezed lightly. "Thank you, Colin, really. I don't know what I'd do without you in my life."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He pulled his hand away in annoyance, but even he couldn't hide the small smile that made its way onto his lips.

~~~~~~~~~~

Gotta love short and sweet, well, I love short and sweet. Hope you enjoyed it, at least. Sigh...if only everybody was like Colin

How are you today?? -E

Struggling with a bit of writer's block and indecision, I have too many things I wanna write and I keep switching back and forth between them and it's making me disorientated😂 I really should just stick to one but my scatterbrain doesn't allow me to...but other than that, I'm great! Lmao. I hope you're doing well

Nightmares

(Gally x Reader)

Some hurt/comfort for y’all, have a slice. I got kinda teary-eyed with this, that has to mean I did something right lol Requested by @ultraintrovertedgryffindor ♥️ Enjoy!

The Safe Haven was beautiful. Warm, peaceful, free from all the dangers and chaos you all had grown so accustomed to over the hectic course of your lives.

After being there for a little over five months, surrounded by people you loved and basking in a comfort you hadn’t ever thought you’d come to know, you were finally starting to let the dreadful memories you carried with you fade into the back of your mind.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t always easy, especially when it was time to go to sleep. You had no control over what your dreams might bring you, there was no predicting whether you would wake up with a serene smile or be jolted awake in the middle of the night with tears rolling down your face.

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So sweet😭

Gladers reacting to their S/O on her period please, love? If you're comfy with that ❤

Thomas: He’d be so confused at first, not sure why you’re in a a bad mood for seemingly no reason. He’d wonder if he’d done something wrong, get antsy about it, ask around to see if you’d said anything to anyone. But after you explained it to him he’d do whatever he could to help you through it. Though he’d be secretly relieved that it wasn’t anything he’d done

Newt: He would also be pretty puzzled by your strange mood changes. If you were to accidentally snap at him out of the blue or brush him off he would definitely take it personally at first and feel hurt by it, but after you finally told him what’s up, he’d be very understanding and patient with you. Getting you whatever you need and holding your hand through it.

Minho: He’d feel bad for you, of course, but deep down he’d be sort of amused by it. Not in a jackass kind of way, he’d just find it slightly funny how you would get upset over little things one minute and then get over it and get super clingy the next. Though he could let out a few chuckles about it, no one else would be allowed to do the same. He wouldn’t tolerate anyone making fun of you.

Gally: He would get very worried. He’d absolutely hate to see you miserable, in pain or in a bad mood, especially when there’s nothing he could do about it. He’d try to cheer you up to the best of his abilities, bringing you your favorite snacks, cuddling you, covering your face with kisses and whispering comforting things in your ear. He would also make sure no one dared to mess with you during that time, because if anyone did, there would be hell to pay.

Flustered

(Gally x Reader)

So this idea popped into my head and I was like “Immediately yes. Immediately yes.” I had to write it asap, it was too cute not to. Enjoy!

Gally’s return had left you more shaken up than anything had in months. You’d been nothing short of stupefied when his mask dropped to the ground and you couldn’t fathom how you had managed to keep your composure and preserve a stoic expression.

Gally was back and he was going to help you.

That was one sentence you hadn’t imagined to ever emerge in your mind, yet somehow, it was reality.

Despite so many conflicting emotions coursing through you, one intercepting another, you could easily spot the one emotion you weren’t feeling. Anger. There wasn’t an ounce of it in you, not towards Gally anyway. You weren’t sure if you were ready to jump into his arms and tackle him in a hug, but you definitely didn’t feel the itch to punch his lights out.

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Disasterology - Tommy Slater (Part 1 of 3)

Tommy has my heart at the moment, and I just needed to write something for him to quench my insatiable thirst and sadness/frustration

2.6k words🤙🏻

Warning: Sunnyvalers acting like the absolute trash that they are (aka bullying Shadysiders :/)

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You zipped up your suitcase with an annoyed huff, still trying to convince yourself that life at the moment was all a dream. You'd wake up and realize that you're not actually being forced to be a camp counselor for the whole summer. You couldn't count how many times you banged your head against your bedroom walls, but still, yet to wake up.

This was quite the punishment your parents set up. They knew you hated kids, and hated working with them even more, so you supposed you weren't too taken by surprise. But you swore you'd get revenge when you came back. You already had a list of ideas, but that would have to wait.

You heard your mother honk the horn of her car, clearly impatient. You rolled your eyes, did she really expect hastiness when you were being forced to go? Another long, loud honk. "Okay, Jesus!" You yelled, Camp Nightwing isn't going anywhere.

The drive down to the camp was long and excruciating, from the lack of interesting scenery to your mother's constant nagging, making sure you remember that being a counselor was a punishment and you were to only work and behave yourself. Yeah, right...

You've never been so happy to finally get to a camp before in your life, you'd take working with bratty kids over your mother talking your head off any day. But when your fellow counselor Kurt waltzed up to you, you quickly reconsidered. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the Shadyside mutt. Thought you weren't gonna show up." He sneered.

You bit back your hostile remarks and opted to strangle your bag handles instead. "Well, my mom wasn't gonna let me off the hook this time." You shrugged.

"What did you do this time, huh?"

"None of your business, Kurt."

Kurt looked smug, a grin gracing his face for half a second before speaking again. "Well, since you're late, you'll have to get the last cabin. It's on the Shadysiders' part of camp."

You refrained from rolling your eyes, because of course. "Which one is it?" You sighed.

"Cabin E, it's the smallest one. Can't miss it. Go on now, the campers will be here soon." You only gave a glare in response, swiftly turning on your heel and speed walking to the other side of camp.

You could've screamed. Kurt wasn't joking when he said your cabin was the smallest, it could've been a shack honestly. It looked worn down on the outside, but hey, beats sleeping outside in the cold. You wouldn't put it past Kurt to make you do just that.

You pulled out the key to the cabin that you were given, putting it into the lock and twisting it, only for it to get stuck. You tried to force it, kept trying to turn it but it wouldn't budge. You were just about to give up when a tall guy jogged up to you. "Hey, let me help you with that!" He smiled.

"The damn thing won't turn." You frowned.

"Here, let me." You moved to the side and watched in slight annoyance as the man simply jiggled the lock a few times before getting the key to turn. He turned to you with that same smile, "These cabins are a bit old, the locks are just a little rusty. You just gotta wiggle it a few times and it'll work."

You gave him a tight lipped smile and a small thanks, leaning back down to pick up your bags. "Let me get those for ya." The man offered, picking up your bags with ease before you had a chance to decline. "I'm Tommy, by the way." He greeted, walking into your cabin with you following behind.

"Y/n."

"Did you move to Shadyside recently, haven't seen you around before?"

"Probably cause I'm from Sunnyvale."

Tommy froze briefly before setting down your bags. "Oh, well, if you don't mind me asking, why aren't you in one of their cabins? I mean, not that they're specifically Sunnyvale's cabins, but ya know, they're nicer."

"I was sort of a last minute addition, so they didn't have any room." You lied, you knew they had plenty of room, they just hated you.

"Oh, well, you're a welcome addition! I'd say you're better off on this side, it's typically quieter over here." The tiny cabin wasn't as bad as it looked on the outside, it was a bit dusty, but it seemed clean overall.

"You've been a counselor here before?"

"Yeah, a couple times! I love it, love working with the kids. How about you? Been a counselor before?"

"Nope, first time. But not of my own free will." Tommy furrowed his brows in confusion, asking you to elaborate. "I got into trouble with the folks, this was my punishment."

"Jesus, what did you do?"

"Crashed my dad's car on a joyride."

"That doesn't seem like something a Sunnyvale kid would do." Tommy chuckled.

"Yeah, it wasn't my best moment." You grimaced, jumping slightly when you suddenly hear Kurt's loud voice echoing through the camp speakers, calling all the counselors to the mess hall for a meeting. "Guess we should go to that, huh?"

"Yep!"

On the walk over, you learned that Tommy was a way more positive person than you were. He actually liked doing things like this, whereas you were a recluse pretty much. He honestly seemed more Sunnyvale than you, but you hated that whole stereotype stuff. It was like politics, but instead of Republican or Democrat, it was Sunnyvale or Shadyside. It was all complete and utter bullshit.

You stood with Tommy in the mess hall, where Kurt was front and center in front of all your fellow counselors, going over the itinerary for the summer briefly and the rules one more time before the kids arrived. You had to admit, even if you didn't like kids (or most people for that matter), you felt a little excitement bubbling up in your stomach, probably because everyone else was getting excited around you.

That excitement was soon crushed when you saw a couple Sunnyvale counselors stare at you, whispering and giggling to themselves. You didn't even know them personally, you had seem them around town before, but you supposed they just couldn't resist talking about the only person they could gossip about.

All the counselors went out to greet the school buses full of Sunnyvale and Shadysiders, all bright-eyed with anticipatory excitement for what the summer camp held.

You and Tommy had separated to greet your respective town members. You didn't like that it saddened you a little, you had only just met him but he was the only one that had been nice to you so far, and you definitely weren't going to find a friend with your Sunnyvale counselors. At least, that's what you gathered from all the dirty looks you were receiving.

This is going to be a long summer...

And it hadn't even been one day, and you already made an enemy.

What happened was a complete accident. You just accidently tripped over some chick who you heard calling you a mutt, it was just a misunderstanding. You didn't mean to trip her, and in turn, twist her ankle. By some miracle, all you got was an earful from Kurt. But you mastered the art of dissociating out of getting yelled at by people a long time ago, especially when it came to space cadets like him.

What you failed to realize is that you'd have to see this same girl at lunch in the mess hall.

You tried to find a seat at one of the Sunnyvalers' table, but you were pretty much shunned and forced to sit by yourself. But thankfully, you weren't alone for long.

You tried not to smile when Tommy sat down on the other side of the table, but his ever present smile made it difficult. "Thought you'd be sitting with your Sunnyvale friends." He chuckled.

"Yeah, I just chose to sit all by myself." You said sarcastically, moving around your food on your plate with a fork. You wouldn't be surprised if someone poisoned your food.

Suddenly, three other counselors sat at your table. "Oh, this is Cindy, Gary, and Joan!" Tommy introduced, each individual giving you warm greetings.

"Damn, this is the Sunnyvaler you were telling us about? They're kinda shagadelic." Joan said shamelessly, making Tommy blush red.

"You think everyone is shagadelic." Gary added, then turning to face you. "When Tommy said you seemed cool, I couldn't believe him, no offense. Sunnyvalers are usually assholes."

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, not expecting somewhat kind words to be said about you, in any capacity. "Uh, thanks, I guess? There's still time to disappoint."

"Nah, I have a sense for this kinda thing. You give off cool vibes."

"You're gonna scare them away talking like that, Gary." Cindy scolded.

"The first time I met you, I said you give off some serious uptight vibes. I wasn't wrong."

Lunch went pretty okay, actually. You kind of made some friends, you hoped, at least. Then it was time for the first camp activity for the day: a good ol' fashioned game of hide and seek.

You weren't the greatest at hide and seek, but since you were up against kids, you figured it wouldn't be too hard. Even despised, Kurt encouraged every Sunnyvaler to beat Shadyside, though, he phrased it a bit harsher. And that included you, and he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

Shadyside was up first, they were all supposed to hide while Sunnyvale were the seekers. You didn't really care who won, you weren't a competitive person so you weren't that enthusiastic, at least when Kurt wasn't looking. But it seemed you had a natural talent for seeking because you found a couple people right away, or they were just terrible at hiding. For the sake of your ego, you decided that you were just good at seeking.

While walking through the woods that surrounded the camp, you listened for any rustling in the leaves and pine straw. You smirked softly to yourself when you heard sticks breaking and saw a glimpse of a bright yellow shirt from behind a large tree.

You walked to the tree as quietly as you could, steadying your breathing and trying to be light on your feet. You yelled out as you jumped in front of your victim, scaring them so bad that they yelled too. "Jesus Christ, Y/n!" Tommy exclaimed. "You scared the shit outta me!"

"That was my intention, yes." You gently slapped his shoulder. "I found you."

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know. But I wasn't really hiding anyway."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, I wasn't really trying. If I was, you never would've found me."

"Uh huh, sure." You smirked. "Maybe don't wear such bright colored threads next time."

It wasn't that shocked to see that the Sunnyvalers won, they always win everything. You should've been happy since you were part of the win, Tommy seemed to be a good sport about it. The comments from your team put you in a bad mood, it made you wish you had just thrown the game, but that probably would've gotten you in trouble just the same.

"Who knew you'd be good at this, L/n." Kurt said loudly while patting you on the back roughly, clearly hyped up on adrenaline from the win, then leaning down to whisper in your ear. "Ya know, you're pretty smokin' for a Shadyside mutt."

You quickly moved away from the man, cringing in disgust as his breath hit your face. "Never in a million years." You turned to walk away, but Kurt grabbed you by the wrist roughly.

"Just to let you know, you have to clean the mess hall tomorrow morning." Welp, that's what you get for rejecting a psychopath.

It wasn't easy, but you forced yourself to get up really early in the morning so you could get your chores over with. Fuckin' Kurt, what an asshole. But whatever, you were determined to clean the mess hall so goddamn well that the floors shine. You may not have been competitive during the camp activities, but you could be the pettiest person in the world when you wanted to be. This was one of those times, but, you weren't expecting to have a partner in these chores.

"Mess hall duty, too, huh?" Tommy grinned.

"You seem chipper from someone who had to wake up at five a.m."

Tommy shrugged. "No use getting upset over something you can't change. Plus, I don't mind hard work."

"Of course you don't." Sometimes, it was difficult to decide whether Tommy's constant good vibes put you at ease or completely freaked you out. You weren't a morning person, so for now, it would annoy you. But all you had to do was channel your anger and annoyance into your chores, it definitely made you wake up faster than usual.

With Tommy's help, the mess hall was clean and ready to be dirtied up again just in time for breakfast. Instead of the hard work making you hungry, all it did was make you sweaty, so you opted to shower when everyone else was in the mess hall. Thankfully, your own little shack had it's joint bathroom. The alone time was so needed.

Sure, it had only been a day and a half, but you decided being a camp counselor wasn't all that bad. You had Tommy to talk to, and the kids weren't all bratty, so it could be worse. And as you walked out of the bathroom after your shower, you realized you thought those things too soon.

It seemed that girl you tripped finally got her revenge. "Shadyside Mutt" was plastered over your walls with red paint. You sighed, just more work. They must've come in when you were showering, the bitches. The next camp activity wasn't until noon, so you had time to clean up your room. You were not going to live in that shack with hateful words all over your walls all summer, no way.

As you were walking out of your cabin, Tommy greeted you with a smile at the wrong time. "Hey, didn't see you at breakfast."

"After cleaning up the mess hall, I just needed to wash up. Seems that was a mistake." You frowned.

"What do you mean? What happened?"

You were embarrassed, but you liked Tommy and he was the only one you could really see yourself trusting in this whole camp, so you opened the door to your cabin and gestured for him to walk in.

"Woah..." Tommy's eyes widened at the display.

"Yeah."

"Who did this?"

"Probably that girl I tripped during hide and seek yesterday."

"But I thought that was an accident?"

"Uh...it was?" You scratched the back of your head nervously.

"Shadyside mutt...what the hell does that mean? Aren't you from Sunnyvale?"

"My dad is from Sunnyvale, yeah. My mother, however, is not. My dad marrying my mom was probably and will probably be the only scandal Sunnyvale will ever have. Even if my dad is Sunnyvale, my mom being from Shadyside makes me a perfect scapegoat, I guess."

Tommy frowned. "That's so wrong."

"Tell me about it. But like you said, no use getting upset over something you can't change, right?"

"I don't think that should apply here. It sucks enough to get ridiculed from the other side, but I can't imagine having to live in the place where it stems from. I'm really sorry you have to deal with that."

Tommy's words made your heart swell, it left you speechless, just staring at him in awe.

Why do I suddenly have the urge to make out with him right now?

~~~~~~~~~~

Tommy is best boy, no one is allowed to argue with me.