Unavailableapple - Girl Lover - Tumblr Blog

Radfem posts from days gone by:

idgaf about male loneliness y’all deserve to be lonely at this point

I just saw someone saying that radfems are right wingers

Sure we are, a bunch of gender non conforming women, often lesbians, who are pro choice, vote for the left, fight against religion and capitalism and traditional gender roles... how very right wing of us

i love night walks. its such a shame im a woman

The most beautiful and amazing thing a woman can do with her body can do is be living. That’s enough. That’s insane. Acne forming, gaining weight from eating, skin becoming droopy and wrinkles forming are only signs of being alive.

You are not a doll, with a fixed, plastic-moulded body and face. your body will change, and move.

Being alive means running through fields, having picnics, jumping, swimming, petting animals, breathing, talking, writing, admiring views, learning, thinking, engaging with interests.

Your body is enough. Don’t do something to your body if it prevents you from being as alive as you can, because that’s the most amazing part. New breasts or a thinner body is never worth the life you can live. Nature doesn’t care. It only matters to people who shouldn’t matter to you.

waterfalls and foxes and grass and the sun doesn’t care. your favourite TV show or book doesn’t care.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If you want to have a respectful conversation in good faith I will have one. I like to consider myself knowledgeable about the topics I talk about but I always feel I can learn more. I want to have these conversations so I may feel confident in my own opinion. How can you believe what you are saying is correct if you cannot concisely argue in favor of it?

(Note: this is my personal stance, I understand and support the concept that not everyone is able to be 24/7 defending themselves. If you notice, I spend a very limited amount of time on tumblr because I only come on here when I am in a good mental space.)

If you insult me or are obviously arguing in bad faith, there is a good chance I will not respond or I will also respond in bad faith.

Hi, I found your blog through "#kill all males" and had a question for you: If a 14 year old male flirts with a woman while she's working, makes her uncomfortable, and wolf whistles at her, does he deserve to die for that?

Yes

Okay okay. I’m going to stop joking and I will pretend that you’re asking this in good faith (even though I know you aren’t) and genuinely break this down.

Being a child does not exempt someone from being misogynistic. The hypothetical child you are describing is a misogynist. I find it interesting you use the word “flirts” instead of saying “sexually harasses” but that’s just food for thought. Now, this is likely a hypothetical to you but I have actually experienced sexual harassment and even assault from 14 year old boys since I was very young so this is kind of just a real life experience to me.

Now you may notice I do not mention murdering these boys who harassed me. Did you notice that? This is because women don’t tend to murder people. While femicide is a massive world-wide problem, there is no discernable trend of men being murdered based on their sex. Interesting, right?

So there’s this thing called “metaphor” and “dramatic exaggeration” and even “ghoulish overkill”! It’s basically like… I get harassed, sexualized, objectified, threatened, and assaulted by men nearly every day for twenty straight years of life. And then I go online and vent about how annoying men are and how “I hate men”. But this isn’t actually contributing to violence against men because, as I established, there is no substantial trend of men being murdered for being men. And women are a fraction of murderers anyway so if men are being murdered…it’s mostly by other men.

Finally we arrive at the phrase “hashtag kill all males” which is satirizing femicide while expressing female rage and pain. As I’ve exemplified, this is not causing real world suffering to men and is also a healthy outlet for women to vent and express frustrations as well as connect with other women over shared trauma. Isn’t that cool?

But men aren’t really capable of seeing all that nuance I guess. Unless you’d like to prove me wrong?

Say you understand what I just said to prove men are smart

Hey, i’m a fellow detransitioner. You aren’t alone at all, there are a lot of us. My dms are always open if you want to talk to someone who gets it

My story involves a lot of trauma so I won’t dump it on you like that, but I was a trans male since ~9/10 years old and only recently at 19 have begun to unpack all of that & heal my relationship to my body.

Thank you for reaching out! You are absolutely not required to share your story with me but if you would like to feel free to drop by my DMs, I make sure to mentally prepare myself before reading any detrans story so I know I am in a good headspace. As you probably know, my story is very similar. I’m so glad you’re beginning to heal your relationship with your body, I’m beginning that process as well! I wish you all the best on that journey :D

Hey, just wanted to reach out and let you know that you’re not alone in the world. I’m sorry for what you’re going through and how isolated you feel, and I hope that you’re able to find more people in your life that can show you solidarity and support. Sending positive thoughts your way 💗

Genuinely thank you so much. I’ve already met so many fantastic people who shared their detransition stories with me and have made me feel less alone <3 maybe sometimes the internet isn’t evil

Why are you agaisnt the rights of nonbinary people? I feel like I have a lot in common with radfems when it comes to experiences, but because my soul isn't female you consider me evil? Or wrong? I literally cannot help the fact that I'm enby. Being genderless isn't even something I fully did myself, it's my experiences with the gods that lead me to where I am. I can't experience gender the same way an ace person cant experience sexual attraction. I know that you understand misogyny and how it hurts people as a system, why don't you understand that it's hurting trans people too? I've had bad experiences with men, I've had gender roles forced upon me, I've been hurt by these systems. The exact people who you attack are victims of the same system as you, when you attack trans people, afab or amab, you're using the language of the patriarchy. I understand how things can be scary when you don't understand them, but I think you'd be happier if you started accepting trans people, mabye you'd even find that you aren't cis.

Okay let’s break this down!

1) “Why are you against the rights of nonbinary people?”

I am not. I am for their rights. I’d actually wager I’ve done more to further their rights in very tangible ways (at least within my state) than most people on Tumblr.

2) “My soul isn’t female.”

I apologize, but this is where we must part as I believe the “soul” having a different sex from the body is impossible and unscientific. I respect your beliefs entirely. I completely understand that you have had experiences with gods (I believe that’s meant to be plural, correct?) as I myself have as well but we (as a society) do not base facts, or more importantly laws, on beliefs. Separation of church and state is important to the liberty and safety of all. All sorts of religions and beliefs and spirituality exist and all must be able to coexist.

3) “I can’t experience gender the way an ace person can’t experience sexuality.”

Again I apologize but this is just untrue. Gender is a set of societal expectations placed on people based on their sex. It is nothing outside of that. I am a butch lesbian, I buck pretty much every societal expectation placed on women, for all intents and purposes I “can’t” experience gender either…and yet I am still a woman.

4) “When you attack trans people you’re using the language of the patriarchy.”

This is a critique that’s very important to me so I’d like specific examples so I may be able to properly address this. We all use language of the patriarchy without knowing it so I’d like to be called out when I do so I may fix my errors. However I do not feel I have attacked any transgender people. Remember, women talking about their experiences with misogyny is not an attack.

5) On the final note, I understand being trans. I identified as transgender for ten years. That is a decade. I have read countless and countless manuscripts on what transgenderism means, on genderfluidity across different world cultures, on the difference between sex and gender. I have been studying gender in an academic setting for two years now to get my degree. I have a different opinion than you. That does not mean I am uneducated. I am HIGHLY educated on this topic. I have identified as both a transgender man as well as nonbinary at different points in my past. Assuming I don’t understand these things and saying I myself “may not be cis” comes across as very callous of my past experiences as both a transgender person and a detrans person.

Finally I would like to say, I appreciate this response as it is very measured, not insulting, and something I am quite capable of responding to.

I respond to all good faith disputes. I am taking this as good faith and assuming the parts that are mildly disrespectful are because you simply aren’t particularly acquainted with me or my beliefs (which would be understandable). If anyone in response to this devolves into insults, I will not be responding.

the entire argument of men being oppressed under patriarchy due to them being expected to be strong and assertive is so easily debunked when you realize that they’re not expected to be that way, they’re just automatically assumed to be. women under patriarchy are forced into proving their submission and sensuality through subscribing to the lifestyle meanwhile even the most meek men are simply assumed to be smarter and better as leaders simply due to their sex. masculine stereotypes are not oppression, they’re privilege.

One of the only things I want to push back about the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Case case, is that rape victims who request female-only workers aren't "gender critical". Women in hospitals who ask for female nurses aren't being gender critical. Elderly women who request female carers aren't being gender critical.

They're just requesting a basic, single-sex service that is apolitical and has no ideology attached to it. This used to be like an ordinary thing women and girls could ask for without question.

If you’re a detransitioner please tell me your story. I have felt so deeply alone and isolated since my detransition. I have asks on for any good faith question at any time but this especially is something I would like to hear, from anyone who feels comfortable sharing.

I hate talking about being detrans I hate it so much it just reminds me of the absolute worst parts of my life so I’m sorry if this isn’t as eloquent as I’d like it to be but…

I try to have empathy and understanding for absolutely everyone and to think long and hard when I form opinions. When I came out as transgender and started my transition I was quite literally ten years old. The year was 2014 and I had, not long before, come out as a lesbian. My family was intensely homophobic and stuck me in conversion therapy. I absolutely learned being gay was evil but I couldn’t stop being gay so I tried to be straight the only other way I knew how: be a boy.

It wasn’t hard. I’d already had short hair for as long as I had been allowed scissors and I’d always worn my brother’s clothing partially because we were poor but partially because I preferred it. I actually like thrifting but lied about hating it so I could just keep wearing my brother’s clothes.

It wasn’t a hard bridge to gap that I could be a boy, in my mind. I always thought I should’ve been born one. I looked like one. Everyone called me one. Of course this seriously fucked with my sense of womanhood. It took ten years for me to regain a healthy sense of myself as a woman. Yes you heard me, this is an INTENSELY recent revelation.

But let me be clear: I was detached from womanhood not because I have a “male brain” but because I had atypical (masculine) behaviors, I was a victim of some pretty horrible misogyny and homophobia, and I struggled to relate to other women in part due to autism.

But recently I have started meeting people at my college who identify as trans. These are AFAB people who dress extremely feminine, are self described heterosexuals, and use she/they pronouns. I asked them why. If you’re wondering why they answered honestly, it’s because I am friends with them and ask my questions completely genuinely because I truly want to understand.

Anyway the overall consensus of everyone I’ve talked to has boiled down to, “Not identifying as a woman means I am not subject to the scrutiny and intense standards women are held to. Not identifying as a woman allows me to explore femininity free from those struggles.”

This is something I find kind of sad. I would like to create a world in which a woman does not need to identify as another gender to feel safe from misogyny. I would like to create a world where women can be comfortable in themselves, feminine or masculine.

I have a wealth of empathy for these types. I only wish they could understand that the desire to escape the endless weight of misogyny is a defining feature of womanhood.

I’m literally going to scream the next time I read “imagine if the genders were reversed” men can kill women with their bare hands and cannot get pregnant. Shut up

'smells terfy' sir...this is a post about rape relief shelters for women

i love unhinged women but i also love women who try so fucking hard to be hinged. clinging to those hinges by her fingernails.

girl online: i hate men lol

the replies: OMG, I am so SICK of this TWISTED gender war. MEN ARE AMAZING, stop generalizing men!!! Men are wonderful and they are so funny and they portect us and and did you know men can't cry? that's so unfair. STOP MAKING FUN OF THEIR LOOKS, you are not funny. this "kam" girls DO NOT represent me and don't represent MOST WOMAN. Feminism is not about hating man!!

I think a lot of people outside radfem spaces don’t realize that radical feminism is critical on a CLASS LEVEL and not an individual one

When we criticize makeup it’s a criticism on how it affects women as a whole, not an attack on your individual desire to wear makeup

EXACTLY!

Hot take pretty privilege only exists for men. Conventionally beautiful women face all the misogyny of being female just as much as every other woman and honestly sometimes even more. The desperation men have to humble beautiful women puts them in so much danger it’s insane.

Men with blue eyes (they don’t even have to be extremely attractive, go on YouTube you’ll see) have the entire world in their hand.

Wow...