underwaterstrawberries - 🍓Strawberry🍓
🍓Strawberry🍓

Hi! This is my personal blog, basically just consist of random shit I like! I like more things than reblog because I worry about overcrowding everything, but anxiety'll do that for you!! I don't give a toss what pronouns you use about me, generally I use she/her but anything else is also fine! The avatar dog's name is Eddie and he was a VERY good boy, despite occasionally being a bitey little grump!The header dog’s name is Suzie! She is my Big Brave Girl, despite being a massive FraidyPup! Can’t be brave without being afraid!!#things that need to be a cross stitch#where did I put that post I wanted to stitch?

614 posts

I Think We Should Write More Straight Relationships With 2010s TV Queerbait Tactics. Let That Man And

I think we should write more straight relationships with 2010s TV queerbait tactics. Let that man and that woman's lives be horribly intertwined, let them take bullets for the other, let them be each other's meaning but NO KISSING. They are holding each other platonically. You're crazy for reading anything romantic into it at all tbh

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More Posts from Underwaterstrawberries

Effort.

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

FuckIt. Guilt trip people if that’s what it will take.

I have a sore throat, probably because I drank a lot of beverages hotter than I should have the last few days, but I don’t have any home testing kits, so I’m going to extra keep my distance from my immunocompromised people, and regular keep my distance from everyone else.

It’s not an ideal situation, but I don’t intend to knowing make anyone sick. Especially people I claim to actually care about.

UGH.

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.


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don’t you know it’s not good for your hair to wash it every day. you have to use sulfate and paraben free shampoo. you have to wash your hair with conditioner instead. you should stop washing your hair for a month because actually your scalp has the natural ability to maintain itself. greasy hair can make your acne worse so make sure you wash it every day. you have to use this three step regiment on your face EVERY SINGLE night. buy this $70 serum and use it with the 10 other serums you have but don’t combine them. don’t use anything on your face except a gentle cleanser and moisturizer. do NOT use moisturizer on your face you are DESTROYING your skins natural moisture barrier! acne is just for teenagers you’ll grow out of it :) oh no but adult acne is sooooo common. just take birth control and your acne will go away. cut out all sugar and dairy and your acne will go away. actually those studies are fake, get light therapy treatments instead. take accutane and your acne will go away, only a couple of those kids killed themselves! shave your armpits because it looks better. if you shave your armpits you’re not a feminist. actually shaving your armpits is for HYGIENE. wax your legs. wax your bikini line. but waxing any part of your body can give you ugly ingrown hairs and permanently damage your skin and follicles and besides that’s the patriarchy. (but get laser hair removal instead.) don’t have an eating disorder because that’s too much but definitely do intermittent fasting. don’t eat carbs. don’t eat sugar. don’t eat fat. actually your brain uses carbs as its main energy source. actually fat is necessary but only good fat. you have to DRINK MORE WATER!!! drinking 8 glasses of water per day is a myth. burn fat and get toned by doing these exercises. but cellulite is natural and 99% of women have it so you HAVE to embrace it. take diet pills. ummm don’t you know those are meth?? take NATURAL diet supplements for weight loss. take THESE vitamins to cure your depression and clear your skin and make you better at sex and make your vision better and speed up your metabolism and make your digestion better and make you focus better. i know the ONLY right answer but you have to pay me for it. follow my blog! listen to my podcast! subscribe to my email newsletter! buy my snake oil!!


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I really hope there’s a follow up to this with more detail!! 🥰🥰

The Entomological Theory Of Santa.

The entomological theory of Santa.

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Image description: A 6-panel comic. In panel 1, two people talk against a snowy backdrop. In panel 1, the first person says “Did you know that if you rearrange the letters in SANTA, you get something sinister?” and the other says, “Yes: A ANTS.” In panel 2, the first person says “Wait, no, that’s-” The second says, “How do you think Santa finds his way to all those homes at night? Pheromone trails!” In panel 3, we’re down in an ant nest. “Once the night is over, Santa returns to the North Pole, mates with the Queen Claus, and dies.” There’s a festive ant nest with an ant-bodied Mr and Ms Claus looking at each other lovingly. Panel 4, “The Queen begins laying eggs that will hatch into next year’s workers.” The Queen lays eggs, and the workers are ant larvae with elf heads. Panel 5, “Next December, she will produce fertile Queens and Santas and the cycle will begin anew.” The Queen lays eggs with both Santa and Ms Claus heads. In panel 6, we return to the two people talking, and the second person says “Of course, one queen must best the rest in combat, and the workers can’t interfe-” “Stop.” “But I haven’t told you about the Santa-mimic spiders!”

11 months ago

Wacky races, IRL?