Unlicensed-queer - Rabid Queer

Me about 99% of Jake Gyllenhaal’s characters : i want to hug him and give him soup

Tommy finds out you're pregnant headcanons + dad!Tommy in general because he is my weakness

So if it's planned when you tell him he's gonna absolutely do that rom com thing where he picks you up and spins you around. If it wasn't planned he would need a second to adjust. He loves Grace's girls and he loves kids but having his own is a whole new beast, he'd be worried about how he'd be with them and if he'd end up like his own dad. But he gets over it pretty quick. He's still worried but he's also sooo excited.

He builds the nursery from the ground up, builds a changing table and a crib and helps you arrange it and also paints a little landscape mural on the walls.

Sooo obsessed with your belly when it starts to show. Sometimes he just lays on the couch with his head in your lap and lays his hand on it. He can't believe that youre growing his baby.

He will walk through hell and back for your pregnancy cravings. You want watermelon in January? Pomegranate in July? Some sort of cheese that's only made in the himalayas? He's already looking up express shipping.

The first time the baby kicks he's sobbing. Just bawling, like he knew you had his baby but now he can feel it and it's so much more real and he just loves you so much.

He's as nervous as you in the delivery room and will squeeze your hand as hard as you squeeze his. If he can't be in the delivery room he's the perfect cliche of pacing around the waiting room. He's sitting down he's standing up he's googling c section mortality rates he's so scared.

But everything's fine of course and when he gets to hold the baby he just cries so much.

That night you wake up and he's sitting on the couch or one of those hospital chairs holding the baby and just watching it. Hes not saying anything he's just watching and holding it's hand and marveling that he's got a child now.

Will absolutely carry the diaper bag and the car seat wherever you guys go for the first few months post partum

"babe you just had a baby, I can make your tea go back to bed!"

"Tommy it's been 2 weeks"

Also he's the number one to fan of postpartum tiddies

Petition to start saying bunny instead of kitten bc the fedora incels haven't spoiled it with neckbeard weirdness (that I know of)

I'll be your Shield and your Salve

Summary: When a rowdy crowd shows up to the Roadhouse Dalton's annoyed, when one grabs his girls ass he's a little more than annoyed

Pairing: Elwood Dalton x Reader (imagined as female but could be gn, mentions reader wearing a skirt)

Warnings: Non-consensual groping, non-graphic violence, panic attacks, over all descriptions of sexual harassment, reader feeling dirty afterwards.

Words: 1,223

Notes: hooo this was supposed to be a lot more campy and a lot less angsty. Special thanks to @charliehoennam for helping me with a writing slump and to @aaronhotchnersswifee for the idea! This is my first time posting a fic, I hope everyone enjoys it ❤️

You were standing at the bar, pouring drinks, charming customers and cleaning glasses. The band, a group of middle aged men, two of which were probably named Darryl, played energetically, filling the bar with lively music. A man with a bushy gray beard played the washboard, thumping and scraping the beat. Everything was perfect. Dalton sat at the end of the bar, looking perfectly relaxed and tapping his foot with the music. He caught your eye and tapped the bar with his knuckles for a refill.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dive like this?" He asked, with a twinkle in his blue eyes. His voice was low and smooth, like melted chocolate in those Lindor commercials.

"Oh you know," you sighed dramatically, putting on a forlorn face as you opened another beer for him, "got dragged down here by my dumbass boyfriend, can you believe he decided to be a bouncer in Hicksville, Florida?" You teased. Dalton laughed sarcastically

"You always wanted to live on the beach, princess" He laughed, giving you that dopey grin that made your belly flip. As he turned back to watch the bar a roaring came from the parking lot. Loud voices and boots crunching on gravel drifted in through the windows. Dalton bristled, on alert.

Three men in tattered vests and leathers swaggered into the bar, shouting at customers and each other and reeking of booze. A tall man with dirty white hair and yellowed teeth slumped on the bar, leering at you

"Heyyy cupcake, pour me a drink will you? Needa..wet my whistle." His eyes drifted over your shirt, his gaze felt slimy, dirty. You gritted your teeth, trying to push off the shivering feeling of disgust. You poured him a beer, sliding it towards him with a forced smile.

The guys were unpleasant but so far they hadn't actually done anything wrong. They just sat at a table in the middle yelling and drinking. You were walking over with a tray of drinks they had ordered and setting them on the table when you felt one of them grab your thigh and squeeze. You froze, your blood ran hot and cold at the same time. Just as you turned to slap the guy in the face you felt a tall shadow over you.

"Alright buddy time to leave" Dalton's voice was scarily calm and friendly sounding. His smile didn't melt the frost in his eyes as he looked down at the man who had groped you. You hadn't seen him this mad since the biker gang had burned down the bookstore.

The men all ooo'ed mockingly, swaying as they got up. The same man who had looked you up and down earlier got up in Dalton's face, yellow teeth bared in a derisive grin.

"What's the big deal? Just having a night out with my boys" he slurred. The man was foul, reeking of booze, sweat and stale tobacco. Dalton made no reaction except wrinkling his nose slightly

"We don't allow harassment here" Daltons smile was looking more and more like a dog's bared fangs. The man snorted, looking around at his friends in disbelief.

"You gon' let yer waltz 'round in that leather skirt.." he paused looking at you in a way that made you want to throw up, "N' get mad when I wanna feel what she's got on show?"

Dalton's fist swung into his jaw with a sound crack. Angry shouts and protests rose from his gang, some starting towards Dalton. You scrambled back against the bar as Dalton set to work. The anger didn't affect him the way you thought it would. He wasn't erratic or emotional, he was coldly efficient, knocking each of them to the floor quickly and cleanly. Less than 5 minutes and each of the men were dumbstruck and the security was dragging them out by their shirt collars. Your heart hammered as you watched, still feeling the place on your leg where the man had groped you, it felt grimy and wrong.

You worked the cleanup shift in a daze. Dalton and you drove home in silence, Dalton's knuckles were white and red on the steering wheel. When you were home you got in the shower, scrubbing your body with a rag and holding back the rising panic in your chest. You were so absorbed in the action you didn't notice Dalton come into the bathroom and step into the shower behind you. He didn't speak, he just pulled you to his chest as you dropped the rag and began to cry. He rocked side to side lightly, holding you tightly.

"I'm so sorry" he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You didn't know how long you were in the shower, crying into his chest as he whispered comfort to you. At some point he began moving, lathering up a rag and gently running it over your body. The contrast between the pillow soft lathered rag and your frantic rough scrubbing was night and day. Dalton carefully rubbed the rag over your entire body then helped you step under the water. He kissed each part of your body as the bubbles washed down the drain. It wasn't sexual, there was no heat in his touches or his lips, only love and reassurance. Every caress and kiss seemed to say, 'I love you, you aren't dirty, it wasn't your fault'. The tears flowed down your face like poison sucked from a wound and you hugged Dalton when he stood again, he kissed you and turned off the water. As you stood in the shower he wrapped a towel around his waist before taking a soft towel and drying you off. The insecure part of you squirmed at letting him do everything for you, anxious about being a burden, but the larger part let Dalton guide you through the exhausted haze.

When you were dry Dalton pulled one of his t-shirts over your head and picked you up, holding you to his chest like one might carry a sleepy child inside from the car. You closed your eyes and rested your head on his shoulder, half asleep. You felt him walking around, hearing things clinking and the click of the electric kettle. At first you tried to track his steps to see where he was without opening your eyes but eventually you let his soft humming lull you to calmness.

You must have dozed off because soon Dalton was setting you on your bed and placing a cup of tea on the nightstand. He sat behind you and pulled you to his chest, resting his chin on your shoulder.

"Made you some tea and toast with peanut butter and bananas. There some milk to, in case the peanut butter gums up your mouth" he murmured, voice rumbling through his chest and into your back. Your heart could have burst with affection for him. Even though you would do all this for him in a heartbeat, it was still amazing the lengths he went to just to make you happy and safe. The scene at the bar felt more distant now, like a nightmare gone hazy with age. Right now you were safe and warm in Dalton arms, with food, tea, and all the love you could ever dream of.

We love getting several hundred words into a fic stable then deciding you hate the premise and it's terrible and you hate everything.