Dogs With Jobs

dogs with jobs

All Might: Nemuri? I'm calling because I can't reach Mic & Aizawa ...are they doing ok in quarantine?

Midnight: They're fine...I guess..

Midnight: But... They're having a..uh..feud.

All Might: Uhoh.

Midnight: They thought this'd be a good time to plant a garden. Mic wanted Daisies, Aizawa wanted cat nip.

All Might: So, did they compromise?

Midnight: Well... I see them from my window & uh...

Midnight: Mic's out there with a spray bottle guarding his flowers as high cats roll all over them. He's sobbing. Aizawa's on the ground with the cats laughing his ass off.

All Might: Oh no! That sounds terrible!

Midnight: It is! Want a video?

All Might: Sure.

Taka, age 15: *looking at his phone* Holy shit, Hayato-nii is moving back to town next month!

Random classmate #1: That's nice. Are you and your brother close?

Taka: What? No, I couldn't care less about that asshole.

Random classmate #2: Huh? Then why...?

Taka: Because if he's coming back, then so is his husband, Ryuu-nii, and his younger brother Koutarou!

Random classmate #3: Husband? Younger brother? Koutarou?

Taka: Ryuu-nii is the nicest big brother ever he used to babysit me when I was younger and he was super cool and way better than stupid Hayato-nii and his younger brother Koutarou is my BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD and I haven't seen him last summer and now he's going to be transferring to our high school which is super awesome and we're going to

When Inui finally accepts that he’s a raging bisexual and admits that he has a huge crush on Ryuuichi, he barges into the daycare room, and immediately declares his love to Ryuuichi.

Hayato, who was buried under a pile of toddlers until then, looks up at Inui with a fierce glare and moves to stand in front of Ryuuichi.

“Too bad, he’s my boy friend already,” he growls.

“How stupid do you think I am?” demands Inui. “There’s no way I’m falling for that trick again!”

Ryuuichi, looking sheepish, chimes in with, “Haha, actually…it’s kinda true this time.”

Usaida and the kids all confirm the claim, but Inui still doesn’t believe them so finally Hayato just turns right around and kisses Ryuuichi right on the lips.

The kids all shriek and turn away, yelling about how gross Haya-nii is, and run over to push him away from their Ryuu-nii.

Hayato is grumbling about “what’s so wrong about kissing my own boyfriend, you stupid brats? Leave me alone!”

Ryuuichi, despite his face being bright red, is trying to convince the kids that it’s alright, and they shouldn’t be attacking Hayato.

Inui is standing in the doorway, frozen stiff, his heart shattered into a million pieces on the ground.

Usaida starts to get a little creeped out about how he’s staring, so he gets up, gently nudges Inui out, and closes the door in his face.

Tips for girls

Remember ladies, if s guy starts inappropriately touching you, catcalling you, or is being rude and sexism in general, don't do anything. You don't owe them a lick of explanation for when you rip off their arm and beat them with it.