Realizing That I Subconsciously Love Bomb To Make Them Love Me. I Thought That If I Gave Them Unconditional

Realizing that I subconsciously love bomb to “make them love me”. I thought that if I gave them unconditional love and gave them everything they wanted that they would love me back. And when they were nice to me and gave me attention I convinced myself that they actually did love me back. Even though they never said it, not even close. Then when I noticed a slight difference in their behavior I would feel like my best wasn’t good enough. Which then lead to my anxiety and insecurity to consume myself that I wasn’t good enough. Which then lead to me being so annoying and doing weird shit that then made them hate me.

I really didn’t want to lose this person.

Why did I have to learn this lesson at the cost of them? I hate life, but ig I deserve it.

We are all figuring out life. Don’t hold grudges on people. We are all figuring things out on our own time. I wish everyone I’ve ever met peace and happiness.

I really hope therapy will actually help guide me to be the person who I want to become. I’ve done a lot of work already, but I hope a professional can help direct my growth in a more efficient way.

I hate myself for choosing to love someone after a month of talking.

I hate that I looked at their face so much.

I hate that I analyzed all their quirks and mannerisms.

I hate that I learned so much about their likes and dislikes.

I hate that I learned about their life and secrets.

I hate that I keep dreaming of them

I hate that I got so attached to this person.

I hate that I made them hate me.

I was riddled with anxiety and insecurities I never knew I had. Too bad I had to project all of it on you, and didn’t get help fast enough to fix it before it was too late.

“The way people treat you is a statement of who they are as a human being. It’s not a statement about you.”

— Unknown

Holy shit I need a life