Some Dewy Morning Webs With My New Camera.

Some dewy morning webs with my new camera.

So I finally went and saw a psychiatrist which was bit of a long process getting there. Ended up getting diagnosed with clinical depression which was probably pretty obvious at this point. I should be finally getting prescribed medication tomorrow so fingers crossed it helps me become a functional and productive person. 

The last cluster of years really went by incredibly quickly with minimal things to show for it, honestly I’m not entirely sure where the time went. Something I was already saying years ago. It’s uncanny how I have these things I’ve put aside until I had the energy/motivation to do them and then realize it’s from 3 or more years ago. Sort of fills you with a particular kind of existential dread.

I am somewhat disappointed really because I do feel like I could have been capable of a lot more if I was actually more consistently productive rather than brief moments with weeks in between. I do hope I can get over that sooner rather than later because that whole mortality thing exists. 

It does also cut a little deep that I’ve essentially thrown the last of my youth away, wasted virtually all my teen years on the internet with useless junk and slept most of my early adulthood away. I can’t help but feel I have missed out on some key stages of life. 

In any event I do have this feeling that it doesn’t matter what I would have achieved, done or experienced in life because I probably would have felt the same way. This feeling is probably correct. Hopefully medication can at least help resolve some of this.

I don’t have a camera, so the beautiful Christa took this photo for me to edit. This also ended up being the most time and effort I’ve put into a single picture by quite a considerable amount, so hopefully you think it’s not too bad! :) http://water-air-fire-earth-spirit.tumblr.com/

Discarded cigarettes make for fairly cool pictures. 

Back to some pretty colours, now more vibrant and saturated than ever.