Astarion Is So Fucking Stupid He's Like Bleh I'm So Mean I Don't Care About Other People I'm Obnoxious.

astarion is so fucking stupid he's like bleh i'm so mean i don't care about other people i'm obnoxious. and also i definitely hate kids because they're gross and get dirty and anyway we don't have TIME to save the little tiefling girl. oh fine whatever i'll help you. well yes of course i'm happy she's safe. that's different though she's a thief and extremely impulsive so we're kindred spirits i still don't like kids. well of course i like MOL. she's adorable. come on, she's like eleven years old running a little gang, that's cute as all hells. and mattis of course i like little mattis, sure his techniques could use some polish but he's got the makings of the greats, oh arabella? arabella's here? out here alone in the dark? no, it's okay, sweet girl, we'll find your parents. would you like to stay with us? oh fuck you, what are you smiling at?

one half of me wants to ship astarion and karlach so bad because the dynamic of “only knows how to ‘love’ through touch” and “cant be touched” is too good while the other half of me projects onto him so hard i cannot imagine him dating a woman (i am a boykisser)

local vampire forgets this mortal body has severe chronic pain, is surprised when he experiences pain again

someday you will realize the depths of all the worlds that i see when i look in your eyes because some day i will tell you

putting bg3 point and click voicelines together to sound like a conversation has brought me great joy, so. here's gale, karlach, shadowheart, and astarion doing a terrible job of sneaking around

“i love how you do your own thing and arent constrained by logic or information” but not as a comeback and instead as a way of life

yes im a homosapien and dont believe in gods but actually im a vampire elf who worships Loviatar