PHONING... Strangers In The Dark.

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ strangers in the dark.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 3k ✧ angst , fluff

After so many promises and plans that had fallen through, you found your heart couldn’t take anymore empty words. In this realization, you found yourself.

That night, you made a promise to distance yourself. Although he never confronted you about it, you could see it on his face that he knew.

With each passing day, his smile grew smaller and smaller until eventually it was left to its’ default state.

When you had decided to leave, bag stuffed with your most precious items, it had become obvious you didn’t intend on coming back.

In truth, Beomgyu grew a bit bitter at this— to let someone into his life completely only for them to come in and leave him feeling robbed.

It was neither of your faults, he tried to convince himself.

You both knew that wasn’t true.

The two of you had fallen in love through screens, through satellites that carried your words across the aching void.

An all consuming void put between the two of you by a cruel twist of fate when everything was seemingly going so well.

Night after night, you spoke about hands on bodies and lips on skin. How your dreams were filled with the memory of each other and how it was just almost as good as the real thing.

And after the silence, you would think of all the girls made of flesh and bone within his arm’s reach.

Girls far away from the place you two had grown up— girls much more experienced and well versed in the world.

It was through that screen you learned that to love someone completely was to learn from them until their traits become your own.

Texting patterns begin to change and you find yourself repeating things you’d originally never said.

There was many things he had stolen from you besides your heart. Stealing pieces of you like a thief until you became nameless in his memory.

It wasn’t hard to believe that things had to change, looking back you found yourself incredibly stupid.

The seasons changed and your heart flipped with the anticipation that maybe, just maybe, you would finally be able to spend them together— any one, you weren’t picky.

Completely stupid and gullible to believe things could last with someone like him. Someone so otherworldly.

You wondered how you could be so afraid of losing something that was no longer yours.

People changed as well, you knew. Yet he always seemed the same. Maybe that was more painful to acknowledge— that he had never changed and he remained the same boy you had fallen in love with running down school hallways.

But the thing is you knew was that you still wanted to be with him because forever and always in your heart, he remained that boy you fell in love with in the safety of his bed. Incense on vinyls shelves be damned. You never loved the gentle strumming of the guitar more.

Despite the glowing screens growing to burn your eyes through the darkness until you couldn’t keep them open anymore.

Despite the undeniable fact that he had become something— someone so much bigger than himself at 15.

You never thought about it in the moment, how neither of you had said goodbye to the other. Without any words you had shared one knowing glance from the doorway.

Desperately you wanted him to reach out to you, to say something that would make you stay. To make another promises that you knew he couldn’t keep.

In loving him so deeply, being apart from him almost hurt as badly as being with him.

The rust that grew between telephones brought you to a new realization: one that had nausea bubbling deep down inside of you.

It was worse to be nothing with him than to have him at all.

Neither of you had called the other, not attempting any contact no matter how badly the two of you wanted to hear each other’s voice.

How could you go from calling someone everyday to not remembering the last digit of their number?

The amount of times you thought about that night since could be counted on your hands, pushing the memory far into the past with the desperate refusal to dig it up.

Because you had found that night, crying in your car with your head in your hands that with time: no matter how many times you went over it, there was never a solution for the two of you.

You could run back inside, tell him that it was all some sort of prank. And you knew that he would laugh along even though he knew it wasn’t true.

It was after that you worried about. Would it have just been the same? You were sure that the two of you would fall into the same pattern.

Confessions of loneliness and promises of company would be echoed over and over, the two of you swearing to the other that you would try.

Maybe the few times you were together you would make the most of it, claiming to make up for lost time before he was inevitably whisked away to the airport again to fly out and have experiences you could only dream of.

Sometimes during those times you kicked around with bliss and he would take your foot into his hand and kiss the tips of your feet. A small playful gesture that made you stick out your tongue in some mangled expression of disgust. And he’d just laugh, glad to have you at all.

But when he would be gone in the early mornings and you wouldn’t hear from him until he fell asleep next to you again that night and you knew that those moments could never last.

Even though you knew it wasn’t his fault— his job was incredibly demanding of him, after all, you still found yourself growing to resent him a bit. How completely unfair you had been to your love.

Despite that, you couldn’t let go of him.

For some reason, his mouth was always so specific. He always knew how to hurt you with it, in subtle ways.

“Your lips taste like coffee,”

“Bitter?”

“No, sweet.”

Whenever you would say that, he’d scrunch his nose and call you a loser: always endearingly. And when he used to kiss you, you found yourself never wanting to give yourself to another.

Now any lips you met felt tainted.

Bitter with the lust of superficial attraction.

These flings had you convinced that he had ruined your sense of touch because all you could ever feel was him and the faint scent of coffee.

As winter gave way to summer, the dust motes dancing in the sunlight blurred into pixels, and you gave your heart to a photograph.

The edges were bent from being tucked away into bags and drawers, places you swore you’d never look again only to stumble upon it months later when you swear that you’re finally healing and you find yourself crumbling all over again.

Did the boy in the photograph exist still? Surely he was more mature, maybe he was cooler.

Maybe he made sure to match his socks now and maybe the playlist once named after you had remained untouched.

If you wanted to, a quick search engine could give you all of the answers you desperately needed but you knew the harm would outweigh the good.

You wondered if he was taking care of himself properly, eating as much as he’d promised. You wondered if the same songs remained on his favorite playlist or if they too grew bitter to hear with time.

And everything in you screamed at you to call him. As the numbers grew fuzzy, uncertainty taking over as you’d trail off and your fingers hovered over the button.

You knew that you shouldn't have but just when you’d pull away, the memory of a boy brought you back to the idea. Sitting, finger shaking over the button.

The memory of a boy sitting at a bus stop, large headphones providing an extra barrier for his ears to hide in underneath his hair.

From the side, for a moment, he almost looked like Beomgyu.

And as the bus pulled up, the puddle of rain water splashing over the curb and onto your new shoes. There was an ache as you hoped, hoping for something.

Then, the boy looked up and the ache in your heart was replaced with one of disappointment and the feeling of wet socks.

It was quite ironic that these encounters had always happened when it came to your means of transportation.

A boy across the train, head down as he was off in his own land dreaming of something. You almost craned your neck to look over his neighbors and see if maybe, just maybe, it was him.

In the end, the thought of being caught sent a shiver of embarrassment down your spine and your pride overtook any sense of hope as you kept your own head low instead.

It was these boys that had brought you back to him, these and many more than didn’t share any similarities with him at all.

Because even after all the time apart, you searched for parts of him in every one. Everything in you led back to him.

Suddenly, no one had better taste than him.

You found yourself growing grotesquely optimistic at the sight of his favorite snacks, only for them to grimace and tell you that theirs are surely better.

In the car, playing a song he had always loved, only for them to turn the volume down.

‘So I can hear you better.’ They’d say.

You’re sure it was to quiet your humming.

Maybe it was because he was in everything, always that you found yourself fighting to break that promise.

Finally, for a moment, allowing yourself to think back on the night you left. To feel the ache of regret that had always been lingering.

And so you broke your promise, the line ringing to a number that may not even connect to him anymore.

In the late night, calling a stranger in the dark.

“…Y/N?” Your breath hitched at his voice— a confirmation that you hadn’t forgotten his number. That you hadn’t forgotten the most minuscule and important parts of him.

“You— hi. Hi.” Behind the screen you slapped yourself for the word. After so much time had passed, that was all you could bring yourself to say.

Beomgyu propped himself up on his elbow, the neon light of his alarm clock flashing 3:30 AM.

“Do you know how l—” the tired yet teasing tone in his voice was prominent as you scrambled to bring something else up, embarrassment increasing by the second.

Because you were a fool to disturb him so late, when you knew he loved sleeping more than he ever loved you.

“Sorry, sorry. Just…”

There was silence as he waited for you to continue.

You hated the sound of your own shaky breaths.

“…How was your day?”

And to your relief, you heard him chuckle.

“Really? That’s the first thing you say after hi?”

Still tense, you attempted to loosen yourself up as you leaned back into bed.

He was— you imagined— lying down on his arm in bed, tangled in that gray and white patterned blanket that you swore you hated because it was ‘so bland’.

You’d rather die than tell him you bought that same patterned comforter just last week.

“Well… we haven’t talked in a while.”

“8 months, actually.”

You smiled.

“You counted?”

“Does it matter?”

And like it always did, the doubt came crashing down over your head as you sat upright.

As if that would snap you out of it. As if that would somehow distract you from the glowing rays of your phone— from his voice.

“…I can’t remember your laugh. In only 8 months.”

Beomgyu hummed, his voice groggy as he spoke. “…Really? Maybe I didn’t laugh at you much then, because I remember yours.”

You shook your head, “you were always funnier than me.”

The fact that he was entertaining you without explicitly asking what you wanted, you found yourself grateful for the soft spot he seemed to still hold for you.

Because you knew if it were anyone else, he’d be annoyed.

“I miss all the screw ups we had,” you admitted.

“I miss getting angry at you— I hope you know that you never deserved it but… I still miss it. I miss feeling something for someone. For you.”

Despite how late it was, your voice had him following your every word as he waited for the final confession that he wanted to hear.

“You’re the best I’ve ever had. Probably ever will have. I’m…” you tried your best to cry, realizing how completely unfair that would be to him.

How it would destroy him all over again as you did months before, walking out that door, knowing that he’d break his back to make you smile.

“Even when we’re miles away, I knew you’d still want me. I never really… acknowledged how kind you were to me. How loyal you were. Even when I was acting completely irrational because of the distance you were so, so patient.”

For Beomgyu, the compliments felt hollow. Not stemming from the idea that you didn’t mean them— he knew that you did, the sincerity in your voice was hard to miss.

But it was because he couldn’t believe them himself.

Beomgyu was sure that there was more he could have done to satisfy you, to give you what he knew you deserved.

Maybe if he had worked harder, the company would afford him a more flexible schedule and he would have had more free time to devote to you.

It was something the two of you would have argued about before and it seems, still argue about now, yet with time it seems that you’ve traded perspectives.

“No one else, just you.”

“…just me.”

Anxiously, you picked at your nails. It was a habit that you had picked up recently, one you knew you’d never really kick on your own.

There was a scale in your mind weighing the options. You could continue to dance around the topic of that thing you had once shared, briefly, in passing or you could come clean.

“…What did you think when you saw my face for the first time?”

He laughed again, seeming to grow more into his usual self (or the part of his ‘self’ that you remembered— the part of him that you loved).

“So that’s why you called? I didn’t realize you were such a narcissist.” Those words hurt, though you deserved them.

“Can you just entertain me, Gyu? Please?”

The desperation in your voice along with the slight waver had him breathing in, his own breath hitching just for a moment.

The old nickname almost made him smile as he covered his mouth with a yawn.

One thing he hated was being woken up, especially so early and yet somehow, for some reason, he still agreed.

“I think it felt like something was going to end,”

“Like some sort of foreshadowing?”

“Or, something was gonna begin again.”

“How does that work?” He laughed again, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes once more.

“I didn’t know what it was, but I knew from the moment I saw you that it was the end of boredom forever.”

For the first time since you had left, you felt your heart strings being tugged like the strings of his guitar.

Unlike the music he once played for you so skillfully, nothing played this time and you were left with the deafening silence.

In that silence, you had come to face the exact thing that you were afraid of.

You loved him for saying that. And for the intermittent years that the two of you spent entangled, you knew that he loved you back.

Beomgyu had always loved you in his own way. When he promised his time and attention to you— he always meant it.

Whether he could follow through with it didn’t matter because in the end: he wanted to.

Desperately he wanted to give to you what he knew you deserved.

And by letting you walk out that night, he believed that was what he had done.

In the end, there was always love.

Then came the crossed wires, the signal jam.

The static that grew between the two of you was dull, murmuring protest. And you would question if there were others just like you, who had found themselves caught in his orbit.

Those girls so close to him you found yourself envious of, though he never spared them a second glance. Were their worlds revolving around him as well? It was hard to believe that they weren’t.

Whether you were just another celestial body, sent up from the ground; when the moon—the original satellite— was the only one he saw from where he was standing.

In the quiet of the night, he closed his eyes as he desperately wished on that satellite.

And you wished too.

Because you loved him, in the way you walk a tightrope. In the way people learn to fall asleep in a war zone.

You could ask why so many times, but you would never get an answer. And that is when the words would come.

“I’m sorry I called so late,” you started.

“It’s okay—”

“I’m sorry for everything, Beomgyu. Really, I—“

Before you could begin to express all of your regrets to him, his voice cut you off. Gentle and just as dreamy as your misty memory remembered it.

“Y/N. It’s okay.”

And without asking again, you decided to trust him enough to believe him.

The worry you had that you were maybe too late because you didn’t know how to talk to him washed away.

Because you didn’t know how to ask him if he was okay— didn’t know how to tell him you were so afraid of losing him until he lost you.

And unknowingly, with the press of a single button, you had calmed his worries too.

Providing him the chance to tell you all the things he never could.

And so he did, sitting up in his bed and talking into his phone in a hushed tone, away from prying ears just how you had many nights before across countries and states.

The night that he told you how much light had left his life when you were no longer part of it.

How he just hoped you realized how much you meant to him, always.

“I was sad that you were gone but I couldn’t be angry. I just wished that I could remind you of how beautiful you are, in case you forgot.”

A reminder he always echoed to you in those days, worshipping every inch of you. ‘From your head to your toes.’

And his smile was so mischievous, as if encouraging you to argue back so he could convince you all over again.

“I never wanted you to think I gave up on you, Y/N. So I'm sorry I haven't told you in so long.”

“Told me..?”

You found yourself wishing that he would crack some jokes to ease the situation instead, but he wouldn’t. He had always been so unusually serious when it came to comforting you.

“That I will never give up on you. My arms are wide open. There’s always a place for you here.”

In the same fashion that he always knew how to break you— he always seemed to know how to put you back together again.

With his love that was so teasingly mean to your poor bruised heart, he’d patch you up better than anyone ever could have.

“I thought about calling you so many times. I’m sorry I took so long. I think I.. I think I was scared.”

“Of me?” He asked jokingly.

“Yes.” You answered honestly.

Running away from him, you had given so much to things that weren't worth your time.

When all along, it was the one loved that you should have carried.

And all bitterness that grew overtime was now directed towards yourself. Because he had never given up on you— it was you who had given up on him.

It was him who broke the silence.

“Last night, I dreamed we did our laundry together.”

The abrupt confession has you laughing, especially when you recalled the days you actually had done your laundry together.

Washing machine bubbles overflowing as you slipped around on soapy suds, trying to clean up the mess he had made.

Eventually, he decided to stick to being your company sitting next to you as he watched you fold.

“You did?”

And he thought of the way you organized things, folding the clothes with such care and separating them into piles secluded by color.

How you’d throw the pair of socks that you just washed at his face as you told him to change into a matching pair because nothing irritated you more than the hole in his sock.

“When I woke up, I felt sad that it couldn’t happen anymore.”

And you wanted to ask why it couldn’t, but you knew that wasn’t your place anymore.

When the two of you were in love, there was nothing else but the yearning to be close to the other. Over the phone, over the distance.

The presence was felt through a voice heard and a screen held.

Despite the dead phone lines, your souls didn’t have internal clocks or calendars, nor did they understand the notion of time or distance. They only knew that it felt right to be with one another.

Maybe that was why you had been searching for him all along, in every passing train window and the lyrics of every song.

That was always the reason why you missed him so much when he wasn’t there— even if he was only in the very next room.

And the even greater distance you had put between the two of you seemed to serve as a lesson.

Your soul would always feel his absence—it just doesn’t realize that the separation is temporary.

Hesitantly, you look down at your phone to the time. Half of you had the heart to ignore it, as selfish as that was. It was getting later into the morning and soon, Beomgyu would have to be up for his daily activities.

“I should go.” You said awkwardly, cursing yourself for never being clever enough and being so utterly predictable.

He hummed, “can I ask you something first?”

You found yourself smiling at the idea that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t want to hang up as much as you did. For the night, you let yourself believe in that.

“Anything.”

“Why is it every time we say good night, it feels like goodbye?”

“It doesn’t have to.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s not say goodnight then. Let’s just fall asleep like this.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ carnival.

Essentially becoming a shut-in due to your extreme fear of crowds, your friends are determined to take you out and show you how much fun things can be.

selected: [ beomgyu's song. ] replay? ✧

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff , humor , comfort

As you inch closer to the front of the line, the rhythmic clinking of the cars ascending and descending fills your ears.

Standing before the entrance, the worker looked at you expectantly before glancing at the boys behind you. You turned to face them and they all gave you an encouraging smile, each one as sweet as the one before.

“So, who’s it gonna be?”

Looking at each of them, it felt almost impossible to pick just one. The feeling that everyone was waiting on you made you even more anxious, the idea of annoying the people around you getting your nerves up even more.

“Hey, Y/N it’s fine. Take your time.” Taehyun commented.

The small smile he gave you was enough to have you letting out a sigh of relief. Beomgyu swayed back and forth on his heels, clapping his hands together.

“One, two…” he began counting down dramatically, motioning for you to hurry up as people behind him waited.

Shooting him an irritated glare, you reached over the chainlink and grabbed his hand. The action quickly made him stop and a wide satisfied grin made its’ way onto his face.

“Hah!” Beomgyu shoved the stick of cotton candy he had been holding in Yeonjun’s hand as the boy took it with a confused look before shrugging, taking a bite from it.

Stepping forward, the two of you step onto the gondola as the attendant begins to follow the safety measures.

“Hey, Y—”

“Gyu, if you start tweaking on this ride when we get up there I’m flinging you off and then myself.”

Beomgyu’s wide smile fell and he blinked slowly, hands clasped together. “Oh!”

With a lurch, the Ferris wheel began its slow ascent, the ground falling away beneath and butterflies beginning in your stomach.

“I wasn’t going to, what I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted is that it’ll be fine. This is like, the second safest ride after the carousel and you did fine on that.”

The carnival buzzed with excitement below as the sounds blended with the lively atmosphere.

You let out a huff, turning toward him. “That’s a kid’s ride.”

“And so is this! Ta-da!”

“Right. Thanks, Beomgyu.”

The same mischievous grin never left his face and you found yourself more focused on him than the strange jumps in your heart.

Despite your nervousness, you couldn't help but laugh, grateful for Beomgyu’s lightheartedness.

It was obvious he was putting up his usual act to entertain you but you found yourself appreciating it as a nice distraction.

"Thanks for always making me laugh, at least.” you said, voice filled with gratitude as you swung your legs back and forth.

He noticed the motion and let out a sigh of relief, grateful that he had managed to calm you down enough that you were seeming more comfortable.

He flashed you a boyish grin, eyes sparkling. "Anything for you, Y/N~”

You cringed at the high pitched voice he put on as he puckered his lips towards you, shoving him away with a choked laugh.

The quick distraction seemed to lose your focus as the ferris wheel reached its peak and your nerves seemed to resurface.

Beomgyu was quick to notice and reached out, placing a hand under your chin and turning your face to him.

"Don't worry, Y/N. I'm right here with you," his voice was soft and comforting and you almost felt nauseous at how gentle he had been.

The whole time, even with getting swept up in the rush of the night, he always seemed to hold himself back for you when he knew you needed it.

“Yeah, right. You’re always here aren’t you?“

“Always for you, that’s why I’m your favorite.”

“Hm… are you?”

“Would I be here if I wasn’t?” His voice was teasing, although it sounded like a genuine question.

“I guess not.” It came out in a mumble, you not wanting to fully confess that he had been right.

“You’re always on my mind, that’s for sure.”

Hearing this, Beomgyu gave you a curious look before confidently grabbing your hand in his and holding it up in front of you. “All according to plan, then.”

This time it was your turn to give him a confused look, tilting your head to the side slightly. “What do you mean?”

He smiled, “I always want you to think about me. I want there to be some tiny particle of thought that always holds a piece of me, just like how you’re always on my mind.”

Every word was the truth— Beomgyu knew that the world wouldn’t end if you had slipped out of his life but he was sure it would stop turning entirely.

You had come to fit in his life like a recurring dream, unknowingly invading his every thought like he wished he could for you.

Even when only an arm's length away—it felt like you were somewhere else, in your own world entirely. He would reach out and touch you, only for his hand to come up empty.

You almost felt sick from how flushed you felt, eyes searching for any sign of a joke but only finding a look of pure sincerity. Any mischievous glint before had completely melted away.

“You think of me?” You asked, almost breathless.

“Obviously, I do. I love you.”

You felt a wave of warmth wash over you, all you could focus on was how breathtaking Beomgyu had looked.

In the moment there was no humor in his voice, just genuine affection. It would almost be alarming if you hadn’t known him as well as you did.

There wasn’t any need to question it, his love was always there just bubbling underneath the surface. Maybe he just expressed it in his own way.

“I do too.”

“Think of me, or love me?”

“Well both… obviously.” You said, mocking his tone from moments earlier.

Your heart was pounding in your chest at the admission as you noticed the way his gaze softened while he looked at you. A way you’d only seen in your daydreams.

As you rise higher and higher, the carnival below seemed to be drowned out even with how bustling it had been.

The sounds of laughter and music faded to the background and all you could focus on was the sound of the wind and the gentle creaking of the wheel as it turned.

Without hesitation, Beomgyu brought your hands held up between you to his mouth. You smiled, embarrassed as he placed a gentle kiss to your knuckles.

The cute moment didn’t last long before he gently bit down on your hand, causing you to jump and pull it away from him as he snickered.

“What is wrong with you?” The seat shook slightly due to you jumping and you found yourself quickly grabbing onto his arm, clinging onto him.

“Are you crazy?”

“Crazy over you~”

“…Yuck.” A quiet laugh left your lips, shortly followed by a deep breath as you calmed yourself for the final time.

Despite the fact that your seat had stopped shaking, your grip on his arm stayed the same.

The wheel began its descent as the two of you sat in a comfortable silence, the soft chiming music below slowly coming back into focus.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“I hope that little by little, you find yourself thinking of me, until you wake up one morning and realize you can't think of anything else, because I’ll always be here.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ To All The Boys.

Chronicles of the crumpled pages of poetry detailing past attempts at love can be found in the trash of your bedroom where you’re not a woman, but a girl instead. Through all the desperate yearning for love, only one flame was strong enough to make it out.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 2k ✧ angst , fluff , txt ot5 x reader

Dear Huening Kai,

I’m not really sure how to start this letter. I hope this finds you well seems devastatingly distant and cold, like I’m writing a business letter. I never wrote you a letter before, everything that we shared had been in the form of hushed whispers in the back of the classroom. Notes, surely I had written hundreds through the years. Eventually though, your desk no longer belonged to you and my notes found their place in the trash.

The final note, just as short as all the others had three words. I’m sure that you can guess what they were. My hands were clammy and the lettering was shaky but even still, I held that note close to my heart. I waited much longer than I should have— after the first week it should have been obvious that you weren’t returning to our sacred corner of the world.

I’m not sure why I’m writing this now after having crumpled that note away, hidden away inside of that class binder you’d scribbled on. The doodles made the both of us laugh in the moment but looking at them now just makes me miss our schooldays.

Anyways, these are the things that I want for you that I never got to tell you.

I want you to be happy. I want someone to know the warmth of your smile and to feel the way I did when I was in your presence. I’m sure you haven’t thought of me at all since you left but you saved my life back then by being my friend. I hope that I could have made you as happy as you made me.

When school was absolutely dreadful, we found each other. When everyone picked me last, you had always sought me out first. Maybe that’s why I believed you were the first boy I ever loved.

I want you to know how happy you made my years and though your leaving really did hurt me, in the end, I was better for it. I don't know if what we had was just puppy love, but if it wasn't, then I hope to never to fall deeper in love than I was with you.

Because of you, I know I’m too fragile to bear it.

My love has abandoned me, do with that what you will.

Love,

From, Y/N.

Dear Kang Taehyun,

Do you remember our first day? When I first saw you I was convinced you would be the romantic lead to finally convince me to take another chance at love. When we first spoke, I quickly came to realize that you weren’t— you were yourself and somehow, that was worse. Because I loved you more than any idealized version of you I had ever known.

Anyways, that first night the fog lifted and all around us were trees linking hands, like children playing. It reminded me of a boy I had known in my youth and suddenly I was 16 years old again desperately holding my feelings to my chest, afraid to speak as if the moment would slip away once more.

And somewhere along the way, messy confessions of admiration written on ripped out binder paper became carefully lettered confessions on parchment paper, sealed beautifully with wax only to never be opened.

Our first night, when you stood by the door, conflicted, as I sat there with my knees tucked under my chin, smiling. Then through the window, over the horizon was the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen. Soon, your breath was on my neck as compliments spilled from your lips in a whisper. When I shied away from your touch, the first boy to touch me, you told me I looked lovely and for the first time in my life: I had felt it.

I sometimes think about the fragility of glass— ofbroken shards tearing against soft skin. The prickly feeling of tears as you’d stare down at the red glossy blood beginning to seep out.

It was almost painful how you respected me— how you accepted my rejections with a gentle smile.

And in truth, it is the transparency of the glass that kills you. The pain of seeing through to something you can never quite touch and the sting that followed after.

Your arms around my waist, the cold wind coming through the window howled as the sea whispered with the scent of sea salt filling the room. That night had felt so intimate and special to me, how welcoming you had been to my fear.

When the morning came, you were off and the sea continued to whisper your name.

Come back to me.

Love

From, Y/N.

Dear Choi Beomgyu,

I gave you the best of me— the year, the days, the hours. Precious little, in turn you’d given, like nutrients for a wilting flower. A last minute attempt at nurturing a broken heart. It had worked for the time. For that, I’m grateful.

I never said those three words to you— I wasn’t sure if I would be able to bring myself to. For anytime I had gotten close— to this idea of love— it had slipped away just beyond my reach.

I want you to remember my lips beneath your fingers and how you told me things you never told another soul.

Always the mood maker on camera, those glimpses into your soul that you had provided me were more special than you could have ever imagined.

Every moment between us had been captured with your camera. Now, I can’t recall if I had ever looked into your eyes without that thing in my face. For the sake of the memories, I let you have it. How dearly you loved that camera, I eventually hoped that could be me.

And those rare moments without it, on the quiet hood of your car as we sat looking up toward the sky were the ones I would remember forever. How you traced circles into my back as effortlessly as you would change the camera’s lens.

And my heart would skip at the thought that you were maybe, just maybe, beginning to know every inch of me as much as you knew that camera.

I want you to know that I have kept sacred everything you had entrusted in me and I always will.

Now I do wonder if there will be a morning when you'll wake up missing me as much as I missed miss you. I guiltily found myself hoping that some incident in your life would have finally taught you the value of my worth, that some poor girl much stronger than me would say the words that I longed to and mean it for the moment— only to break your heart in the end.

And you would feel a surge of longing, when you remember how I was good to you.

If that day ever comes then I hope you will look for me. I hope you will look with the kind of conviction that you’d always shown me, searching for me in every passing face.

Because I want to be found again. And I hope it’s you and the secrets you shared who find me.

Love

From, Y/N.

Dear Choi Soobin,

Have you forgotten me?

Please tell me what you've heard, in passing between mutual friends’ gatherings and in memories dug up by algorithms beyond your control.

I guard your memory jealously because with you I'd placed my worth. Because after losing so much— you seemed so perfect. I was ready to give it all up. Everything.

I was officially half out of my mind with love.

And I didn't think twice about what I was throwing into the fire, as long as I could keep it burning for just another minute— if only I was allowed to sit awhile longer beside its pale glow with my head on your shoulder while your gentle hums lured me to sleep.

That was how I loved you in the end. With my body cold and shuddering, empty hands over smoldering ash, counting out the minutes for your return.

And eventually, like all the love before, I had to realize that you weren’t coming back.

There I sat by the sad pile of ash only accompanied by a lukewarm, bitter tasting beer. You had complained that my wine was much too sharp.

Even with you gone I found myself trying to cater towards your taste. Yet despite the arguments we would have, mostly at my own fault, I prayed for the moments you would come back and drag me back home with you.

You showed me the particular kind of suffering to be experienced when you love something so deeply that you end up burning yourself too close to the flame. A tender sacrifice.

Like bent and broken feet of a dancing ballerina, it was in every considered step I took in the opposite direction of you.

If I ever felt like home to you, it was because you were safe with me. I want you to know that most of all.

Maybe in another time, I could have been your home. I don’t know anymore.

Love

From, Y/N.

Dear Choi Yeonjun,

It was in you that I had found everything I ever loved before and more, all at once.

Everything I had lost returned to me once more as if to remind me of what I would never have. Or maybe you were sent to give me hope again.

It was in the pained silence, comparable only to the lost song of a mermaid, I had come to terms with the fact that it was the first option.

At the place where you found me, under the half-moon and its half-light of the park. You said, if only you had met me there that night. Maybe we could have found our way. If we had met later on as more developed versions of ourselves, we could have stood a chance.

And I laughed, with no humor at all. Because at our age, it felt I had no more time to wait.

I learned something about sadness after that day, you ruffling my hair to comfort me before walking away without a goodbye or see you soon.

You showed me insanity like an open window, seven storeys high as I stared to the ground far below, teetering on the edge. And it was just as terrible and as beautiful as you and I.

Because I loved you— and I had finally said it, after so many years of chasing. I admitted to you: you were my everything.

With your arm around my shoulder as you entertained a group of people I couldn’t bother to remember the names of, I found myself looking up at you with pure adoration.

Suave and cool, you seemed to be everything love had told me I needed. Because with you, I was revered as well. Even to everyone around you: to be loved by you, I must have been special.

When your face fell at my confession, guilt evident on your face— I came to realize I must not have been special enough.

And you said pure bliss was a storm cloud, just before the rain would burst into the night sky, like a thousand aquatic stars-and not one single moment before.

And you were right. You were right about it all.

Love

From, Y/N.

Dear, ▇▇▇▇

There were letters that I had wrote you that I gave up sending, long before I stopped writing. I don't remember their contents, but I can recall with absolute clarity, your name scrawled across the pages.

I could never quite contain you to those messy sheets of ink. I couldn’t stop you from overtaking everything else, writing for hours on end only to feel overwhelmed all over again at the building tower of papers in the trash.

Because any other letters written to all the boys I had loved before were never quite as visceral as yours.

I wrote your name over and over— on torn scraps of paper, on binders and on the back of my wrists. On mirrors as I stared back at myself, eyes puffy and wide with tears.

And I carved it like sacred markings into trees and thought of adding my own, only to realize how utterly and pathetically in love I must have seemed.

Passersby in the park would smile and whisper behind their hands: how beautiful was a girl in love?

To have carved your name into the trees and the tops of tabletops, you must have been so incredibly special. How lucky you were to be loved by me, they must have thought.

Sometimes when I read a book, parts will lift from the pages in an anagram of your name. The words on the page would move themselves around, shuffling in some twisted dance to fade into you. Like a code to remind me it's not over. It was never over.

And in the end, I find myself returning to you. Only you. In this first letter: the one that I’ll finally send, I’m lending my heart to you in hopes you’ll return to me.

Because as I was, and as I am— as I will always be,

I am completely and utterly yours.

And so I am sending this: baring my soul and heart to you. It has been beaten and bruised after all this time.

All I can hope is that you can learn to become very, very careful with this fragile heart. And in turn I will reflect all of the pain I have experienced throughout these years onto you, as it has been purified into this new form of love.

I’ll be waiting at our spot. Come find me.

Love, your Y/N.

Happy 5 year anniversary, my TXT. ♥︎

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ carnival.

Essentially becoming a shut-in due to your extreme fear of crowds, your friends are determined to take you out and show you how much fun things can be.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 4k ✧ fluff , humor , comfort , txt ot5 x reader

The carnival bursted at the seams with life under the moonlit sky. If your eyes had lost focus for even a moment it would fade into a kaleidoscope of lights over the bustling crowd.

The ambience was almost overwhelming to you, someone who didn’t know the world could be so loud outside of the safety net of your headphones.

Amidst the laughter and music, your group of friends had somehow found you waiting by the entrance pathway awkwardly. And suddenly, the scent of cotton candy and popcorn became the backdrop for your exciting night.

You found yourself anxious for what the night would bring, unaware of just how excited they were as well.

You, who walked the earth freely without your feet ever truly touch the ground. To anyone who passed by it seemed as if you floated by with the wind.

Many hands would reach for you but you, who were completely unaware, remained unanchored.

Belonging to no one, to nothing, to nowhere. Existing only in a world of music, your own little world.

It seemed that you only awarded your attention to people who you thought truly deserved it, so when you had agreed to go to the carnival with the group of boys they’d been ecstatic.

It had been a shock, in all honesty. Not for a lack of interest: you had been friends with them all for a long while, but you weren’t too keen on loud blowout events such as these and instead shied away from them. Your willingness to try and enjoy the night with them had them feeling grateful.

Soobin and Taehyun had been the most understanding initially, preferring much quiet nights in themselves with their own tendency to get annoyed by the recklessness of those around them.

Beomgyu understood but he had brought it up a few times before you had agreed, insisting that he would win you all the prizes on the fairgrounds if you came.

Kai hadn’t pressured you about it all considering he wasn’t a fan of the rides himself, not really wanting to go at all but tagging along to win some new plushies for his collection.

Yeonjun had bugged you, much more often than he would ever admit, but he couldn’t help it seeing as he just needed his best friend to come or the night would have been ruined.

Considering your distaste for these kinds of overwhelming events, you were fairly hard for the boys to make plans with. They were almost always busy doing something so when they did try to spend time together, it was usually doing fun stuff like this.

When they met you though, they were quick to recognize you for what you really were— a free spirit, a wandering star. Hard to pin down.

Yeonjun’s arm fit right on your shoulder like he was made to be there. And Kai’s grip on your sleeve didn’t feel like any extra weight, it somehow felt like an extension of you.

Taehyun’s laugh had become your favorite sound, along with the company of Soobin and Beomgyu’s constant teasing and bickering.

You grew to love your friends, any and all parts of them— you were sure that you would love them always, no matter where you were scattered throughout the galaxy.

And you had showed them what it means to hold something you can never really hold on to, always managing to slip away just in time before their confessions could stumble out.

“Looking good, Y/N! For someone who didn’t want to come you look like you put some effort in for me.”

His arm found its’ home on your shoulder as always, shifting his weight onto your frame and you rolled your eyes.

“For us?” Taehyun emphasized, waving to the other boys who followed.

Yeonjun’s eyes left you as he looked back at them and pouted out his lips with an annoyed look. “Eh.”

Confused, you gently pulled his arm off of you and turned to face him fully, leaning against the fencepost you stood at.

“I didn’t do anything different, you’re delusional.”

“Ignore him, he’s teasing you.” Soobin said before flashing you a small smile, hands placed in his pockets. “You do look nice though, like usual.”

Maybe it was the endless chatter of the people around you or the fact that said people who were rushing past you could probably hear the heartfelt compliments that had you flustered.

“Ah… thank you.”

Beomgyu fake gagged, hitting Soobin’s shoulder. “You guys aren’t subtle at all…”

Kai nodded in agreement. “It’s making me sick and I haven’t even had any cotton candy yet.”

Yeonjun’s eyes widened and he quickly waved at Beomgyu, “Eh— yeah and no way you’re gonna!” It was almost like he immediately entered himself as a substitute for their parental figures in that moment.

You found yourself hiding behind your hand as you laughed at his bewildered facial expression.

“Remember the last time? You spewed that junk all over me, I went back home looking like a troll!”

The topic of food had your mind wandering for a moment as you felt your stomach growl. Memories of going to fairs with your family as a child had hit you as you remembered what you used to enjoy before you shut away.

“…I’m kind of craving fried dough, actually.”

Taehyun turned to you, “we should get snacks, then.”

About to accept his offer, you nodded only to be cut off by Kai.

“No way, games and rides first and snacks later.”

Soobin shrugged, “why don’t we just get snacks halfway through the rides?”

Yeonjun let out an annoyed huff at your lack of attention, “yeah, yeah… fine. Let’s go.”

The six of you began making your way in, the colors bursting to life like a technicolor dream. In your opinion, it was all too much but the vibrant tents and swirling rides did pique your interest.

Taehyun snickered from beside you, “worried Beomgyu’s gonna get into a cotton candy coma again, huh?”

Beomgyu almost seemed embarrassed by what he was talking about as he turned to you with an expression of what seemed like mock offense. “It was’t that bad!”

“Tell that to my hair...” Yeonjun grumbled, nudging Soobin to switch places with him at your side.

“Whatever, your hairs fried to hell anyways!” Beomgyu said in a teasing tone.

Soobin gave Yeonjun a smile and instead turned toward you next to him, causing him to pout.

“Hey, why don’t we test our luck at the ring toss?“

You thought about it for a moment, glancing over at the tent to inspect the rewards. “For what? A goldfish?”

He shrugged.

Seeming as you ultimately came up with nothing of value from that tent, you turned your attention to the one next to it and smiled.

“Look, there’s a huge penguin plush. Kai needs it!”

Kai perked up at the mention of himself and looked over to the tent, eyes widening a bit at the size of the prize you were looking at. Despite that, he laughed.

“What? No he doesn’t, he’s practically drowning in th—“ you rolled your eyes at Yeonjun’s arguing.

“Wow, Yeonjun… don’t you want to make Kai happy? What if that penguin plush is the final one he ever gets? What if a meteor hits us right now? And we all die, sad and alone with no penguin to accompany us at our bitter end.”

You moved in front of the group of boys and grabbed Kai’s hand to lead him toward the tent.

“He doesn’t need it, Y/N. There’s a difference between need and want—“

“Okay, mom.” Beomgyu snickered and Yeonjun’s cheeks heated up out of embarrassment. All he wanted was to spend time with you, not do whatever this was.

“I do. I need it, or I’m gonna die.” Kai said, playing along with you. “Sad and alone.”

Putting on a panicked tone, you jumped back and pulled Yeonjun forward, pushing him in front of you as you shoved him toward the booth.

“Yeonjun!! He’s gonna die! Hurry, hurry! To the basketball booth!”

“Yah— Hey! Stop shoving me! And stop being so morbid!”

Next to you, Kai leaned on Yeonjun as he let out a dramatic groan. “Ugh… Y/N I don’t think I have much longer…”

Your eyes widened, “oh, no! Kai?! Nurse!! Nurse—!!”

Finally giving into your shenanigans, Yeonjun couldn’t help but crack a smile as he pushed Kai off of his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. Just stop yapping, you’re gonna get us dragged to the medical tent before Beomgyu even overdoses.”

“I’m not overdosing this time!!” Beomgyu called out behind you three.

When the six of you reach the tent, you wait patiently for the other patrons to leave with their prizes before you stood, motioning for Yeonjun to go. “You’re not gonna try?” He asked.

You laughed, “yeah. No way. Never, actually. Never been good at sports, don’t even wanna try.”

“Y/N… the hoops right there. It’s not even that far of a distance.” Soobin said.

Shooting him a glare, you motioned toward the booth. “Fine then, you try.” He jutted out his lips for a moment as if in deep thought then shrugged, situating himself next to Yeonjun.

The carny handed them their first basketballs before activating the rig, the hoops suddenly moving across the board in front of them.

Kai shot you a look and you shrugged.

Yeonjun was fairly confident that he could get some in, considering that he was arguably the best out of them at basketball.

Even with Soobin’s height, he was sure he could beat him.

Unfortunately for Yeonjun, your cheers of encouragement found him a bit too determined to try hard and impress you and he completely missed each shot, losing to Soobin by one single goal.

One that only fell into the hoop because Yeonjun’s ball had hit it directly into it.

That definitely hurt his ego a bit.

“Ouch! Cringe shot…”

“Thanks, Beomgyu.”

“You’re welcome!”

“So… what was the strategy there? Just wild flinging?” Taehyun asked and Yeonjun just let out a nervous laugh. “I guess I’m just off my game today.”

“Well… guess I’ll die.” You giggled at this and turned to Kai, raising your fist. “We’ll get you one of them later, promise.” He smiled and bumped his fist with yours.

“Plus, it’s not Yeonjun’s fault. Soobin just has such good luck when it comes to games, right?” You asked, following behind them as they started to walk.

“Or I’m just the best!” Soobin called after.

The scent of fried delights and sugary treats was thick in the air once more, the smell of more savory things than sweet making you wonder if you were now approaching the actual food area.

The mechanical whirring of the rides had you raising your voice as you all talked, “what about that?” You called.

They followed your eyes to see a few game machines lined up, you making your way over there.

“She’s doing really well,” Taehyun said happily.

Yeonjun nodded. “She is, isn’t she?”

Standing in front of the carnival games "Whack-a-Mole Madness," you poked at the buttons before realizing you had to enter a quarter.

Embarrassingly enough, before you could scramble around in your bag, Taehyun had come up and inserted a coin for you. You smiled sheepishly and gave him a quick thank you as he nodded, moving to the machine next to you.

“I wanna try,” Beomgyu exclaimed, rushing to the machine on your other side. “Here.” Taehyun reached over you, handing Beomgyu a coin as he thanked him.

The three of you grabbed the foam mallet and the machine began to ding wildly, colors flashing as you were tasked with squashing pesky mechanical moles as they popped up randomly from their burrows.

It was fun for a few moments before you found yourself growing irrationally annoyed at the moles that you kept missing. “Teach them a lesson, Y/N!”

With each successful whack, lights flash, bells ring, and the mole retreats into hiding, only to pop up again in another spot. You were doing fairly well, or so you thought, until you turned to Taehyun to see him expertly wack each one back down with ease.

Your eyes widened a bit, “you’re so good at it?!”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “You think so? Here, I’ll help you—“ Taehyun put down the mallet on his machine as moles began to pop up all over, similarly to yours had while you’d been distracted.

Taehyun moved behind you but before he could grab your hands to show you, the two of you were distracted by a loud dinging sound.

Beomgyu threw the mallet down hard at the machine, whacking every single mole at a feverish speed. The dinging came as the time limit ended and he laughed loudly, throwing the mallet. “HAH! I WON!”

You laughed as he jumped back to the other boys, cheering as Soobin gave him a high five.

“Nice, Beomgyu!”

Satisfied with the bragging rights that come from being crowned the (unofficial) Whack-a-Mole champion of the carnival, Beomgyu kept the smile on his face as he dramatically spun on his heel to face you. “I think you know what this calls for.”

You raised an eyebrow at him but before you could ask, he cut you off. “Cotton candy.”

Yeonjun’s eyes widened, almost in horror. “Aw, man…”

Soobin snickered, “it was doomed to happen eventually.”

“Eh, whatever. His body, his choice. You’re gonna be the one giving him a piggy back ride when he complains about his stomach.”

“Nope. Not it. Kai.”

“What?! Why me?”

“Your piggy back rides are the best.” Soobin said in a matter of fact tone.

“So? Don’t sign me up for that.” Kai argued, though everyone was well aware that if anyone actually needed it, he wouldn’t hesitate to pick them up.

“I am a grown man.” Beomgyu said with a straight face.

“With the stomach issues of a teenage girl.” Taehyun added.

Soobin gently tapped you on the shoulder, causing you to turn toward him. The smile he gave you was so sweet, you almost lost your appetite for anything else. “You wanted fried dough, right? I’ll get you some,”

Growing a bit worried at your friends beginning to separate, you grabbed onto his sleeve. “You’re all going?”

He shook his head and laughed, ruffling your hair. “We’ll be back in a few.”

Scrunching your nose up in annoyance, you began to flatten it back down. Kai lingered back as they went off, not wanting to leave you alone.

Grateful for this, you grabbed his hand and gave him a small smile. He gave yours a squeeze in return.

The two of you trailed after the others just a bit to meet in the middle, stopping at a new game booth curiously.

Soon, the others returned to see you and Kai standing side by side, armed with water guns and a shared determination. The look on the two of your faces was priceless as Beomgyu took multiple pictures with an itchy trigger finger.

The two of you were too locked in, bursting as many balloons as possible before the clock eventually ran out.

The colorful balloons bobbing and swaying on the rotating platform, you were determined to make yourself up to the Carnival Gods.

You and Kai raced against each other, trying to outshoot and outscore the other.

When the bell signaled the end of it and the final balloon burst you happily threw the gun back onto the counter and cheered. The memories of your shared fun were cherished long after the last balloon had burst.

“Yeaaah, that’s it Y/N!” You didn’t have to turn to see it was Yeonjun who had always cheered for you. Suddenly you found yourself embarrassed by how freely you expressed your excitement.

Yeonjun stood munching on a churro with a panda plush in his hands that you assumed had been the reasoning for their prolonged return.

Soobin handed you the fried dough and you gave him a quick smile of appreciation before biting into it, the warmth elevating the taste in your mouth.

Turning back to the booth, the carny stood with an expectant look on her face and you felt your face heat up once again.

“Oh! S-Sorry! Um.. prizes, right.”

Your eyes scanned them all, unfortunately not finding the particular animal you were looking for. “Hm…”

“Molang!” Kai called out, pointing to exactly that. A single Molang plush tied up by the wire in the upper corner of the booth. “They’re trapped…” You said breathlessly before motioning towards it. “Yeah! Molang!”

She laughed, pulling out a stepping stool to untie it for you and handed you the giant Molang which immediately found its’ home in Kai’s arms.

The night went along like this, fairly smooth without many slip ups. The occasional bickering between members occurred as usual but it was all in a playful manner. You found yourself feeling eternally grateful that you had come out for this night with them.

Everywhere you looked, there were games of skill and chance, beckoning with promises of prizes and fleeting glory.

In a place where thrill-seekers and romantics alike lost themselves in the magic of the moment, swept away on a whirlwind of adrenaline and wonder: all they could do was focus on you.

It wasn’t as if the group didn’t know of their shared feelings for you, in fact it had become a common topic of conversation in the hangouts they all had in Yeonjun’s room.

They all liked you: that was obvious to everyone but you.

What was even more obvious, though, was the fact that they couldn’t all confess to you. That would be much too overwhelming and confusing so rather than doing that, they all agreed to stay friends with you until they got their own moment.

Even with their feelings for you, they refused to argue over you. Besides some small jealousies here and there, they still loved each other dearly and refused to let any feelings ruin their friendship with their brothers.

Finally, it was time for the rides.

Striding towards the towering roller coaster, a mix of excitement and nervous energy coursed through your veins.

Yeonjun must have noticed and he nudged you, “it’ll be okay.”

You wanted to believe that but seeing how he himself had nervously gulped, you gave him a deadpanned expression and hoped that the ground would open up and swallow you whole.

The line snaked its way through a maze of metal rails, each twist and turn bringing you closer to the heart-pounding thrill—or rather, the fear awaiting at the ride's entrance. The distant screams of riders echo through the air, heightening the adrenaline.

Soobin seemed to pick up on Yeonjun’s inability to comfort you and made his way over from his place beside the line.

“I can sit with you if you want, Y/N. That way you can hold onto me if it gets too much.

The thought of clinging to him, as embarrassing as it was, did seem comforting.

As if clinging to him would somehow keep you grounded hundreds of feet above the ground.

Considering Soobin wasn’t initially going to even get on the ride, you tilted your head slightly. “Are you sure?” He just nodded with that same smile. You found yourself admiring his teeth.

Eventually, it was your turn to climb aboard. Taking your seat in the streamlined car, you felt the unfamiliar click of the safety harness locking into place, securing the two of you for the adventure ahead.

“It’s really not all that scary,” it almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself now and you wanted to laugh.

“You’re already high off the ground so obviously it’s not much for you.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, shooting you a judgmental look. “I’m not that tall.”

You rolled your eyes, “sure.” Beomgyu reached from the car behind you, grabbing onto your shoulders which caused you to jump as you turned back to him.

Half expecting him to make a joke about the situation, something about the railway coming undone or something. Instead he gave you a gentle smile, similar to the one he would give you at the end of a long day. One filled with comfort.

“You got this.” And somehow, you believed him.

The attendants give a final thumbs-up, and with a jolt, the coaster lurched forward, leaving the platform behind. You instantly closed your eyes as you felt a rush of air hit your face and the butterflies overtook your stomach.

As the coaster began its ascent, the world fell away beneath you, the clatter of the tracks drowned out by the pounding of your heart.

“I cannot believe you guys got me on this damn thing.” Finally prying your eyes open, you turned to glare at Soobin finding him already shooting you that goofy smile with those irritatingly cute dimples.

“It’s not our fault you’d do anything for us!” He called out.

With each passing second, you climbed higher and higher, the anticipation building with every foot gained.

“Plus, who would want to miss this view?”

At the peak, you paused for a moment, suspended in mid-air, taking in the breathtaking view spread out before you.

And you wanted to argue back, tell him that you regretted getting on the ride and regretted coming altogether. But you couldn’t because as you looked down at all the neon lights flashing in the darkness and how beautifully they blended together, you realized he was right.

The sight was beautiful, but it was even more beautiful because you were seeing it with them.

The wind rushed past, tugging at your hair and clothes, as you braced yourself for the exhilarating descent.

And then, with a sudden plunge, you were off, hurtling down the steep drop at breakneck speed. Your screams quickly turned into laughs that mixed with the others.

The world blurred around you as the coaster twisted and turned, banking sharply around curves and rocketing through loops.

Despite your fear being overtaken by joy, you still found yourself clinging to Soobin’s arm as you laughed. His face held a strange look of pride and admiration for you— not that you had looked to notice.

The force of gravity had you both pinned you to your seats, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you surrendered yourself to the wild ride.

As the coaster finally screeched to a halt back at the station, you found yourself breathless and exhilarated, a wide grin plastered across your face.

The rush of adrenaline was still coursing through your veins as you and the others stepped off the ride, pumped up and ready to take on whatever thrills the carnival had to offer next.

Approaching the carousel, it greeted you all with the enchanting melody of its whimsical music. You found yourself drawn closer with each playful note.

It was certainly a step down from the roller coaster but you still insisted on going on it. They didn’t bother to argue, just glad you were enjoying yourself.

“This is like going on the zip line and then going straight to the teacups.” Beomgyu commented as you inspected the vibrant carousel horses, each one adorned with intricate details and bright colors.

“Don’t be a hater. I just want to admire their ‘timeless dance’.” You said jokingly as you pointed to them simply moving up and down.

“We can just make a ‘timeless dance’ by ourselves,” he argued, grabbing your hand and you shook your head, pushing him back from you gently with a laugh.

As you all stepped onto the platform, the air was heavy with the scent of freshly painted wood. You chose a random white horse, running your hand along its smooth surface and felt the cool, polished wood beneath your fingertips.

In truth, you mostly wanted to ride the carousel to admire the art of it. It’s true that you had a fear of these dramatic rides but this was the exception, it was something nice and sweet that reminded you of your childhood somehow. It felt nostalgic for all of you as you all climbed aboard.

With a graceful sweep of the floor as everyone lifted their feet to stabilize themselves, the carousel began to spin. The platform beneath your feet started to rotate, and you leaned your head on the pole you clung to, turning to Beomgyu.

“I think I might fall asleep on this thing.” He said.

“Thanks for coming, anyways.”

He paused for a moment at the sincerity in your voice, looking you over as you blinked anticipating his response. “Nah, no way I can sleep now.” He said simply.

“Not when you look at me like that.”

Pausing for a moment as his words hit you, you brushed it off with another laugh as you hid your face in your hands and turned forward to the others conversing as they rode.

Around and around you went, rising and falling in time with the music, the wind whipping past and you found yourself laughing.

The cheerful chime of the carousel's music box almost sounded like a symphony.

You caught glimpses of the carnival unfolding around you: children with sticky fingers were clutching oversized lollipops, couples stealing kisses beneath the twinkling lights, and families laughing and smiling as they shared the magic of the moment.

It made your heart swell as you came to realize exactly what you had been missing and how lucky you were to have friends to help you come out of your shell.

And then, all too soon, the carousel began to slow, bringing your ride to a gentle stop. Slightly disappointed, you furrowed your eyebrows together.

Beomgyu excitedly jumped down and held his hand up for you to grab as you climbed down.

In that moment, a sense of contentment washed over you, lingering like the fading strains of the carousel's music.

With a smile on your face and a skip in your step, you stepped back into the bustling carnival, carrying with you the memories of the ride.

You all stepped into the queue for the Ferris wheel, anticipation hanging thick in the air. The towering structure loomed above, spokes reaching for the sky, promising a bird's-eye view of all the chaos below.

Looking up, you found yourself growing as anxious as you were excited.

“Huh…?” While staring, you realized that the ferris wheel had only seated two people, like the roller coaster.

Unlike the roller coaster though, the seats were separated with quite a distance between each other, meaning that you and whoever you sat with would be alone.

For some reason, your heart jumped at this. The idea of being alone with someone so close.

“There’s only room for two people?” You asked, even though you knew the answer.

Taehyun laughed and nodded, “you didn’t know?”

Frowning, you shrugged. “I thought that maybe it would be one of those big ones that sat everyone…”

He shook his head, “sadly not.”

As you inch closer to the front of the line, the rhythmic clinking of the cars ascending and descending fills your ears.

Standing before the entrance, the worker looked at you expectantly before glancing at the boys behind you.

You turned to face them and they all gave you an encouraging smile, each one as sweet as the one before.

“So, who’s it gonna be?”

[Choice 1: Soobin.] ★ [Choice 2: Yeonjun.] [Choice 3: Beomgyu.] ★ [Choice 4: Taehyun.] [Choice 5: Kai.] ★ [Choice 6: None.]

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ ghost town.

Thinking back on the nights spent with you, Yeonjun realizes that he didn’t quite appreciate what you had until it was gone.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff , angst

Yeonjun’s life was messy: this was something he became well aware of in the early stages of pursuing his career.

Similarly to his life, his mind had become a mess as well as he did his best to rationalize any situations he had to face to navigate through life.

At first, the last thing he wanted to do was meet at some company holiday party he hadn’t been all that interested in going to but had been dragged along by management anyways for the sake of ‘keeping up appearances’.

Catching each other’s eyes rolling in distaste, a smile made its way onto your face.

And anyone in that room could have seen on his face he was completely enamored by you. Outfit prim and proper for the occasion, soon to be ruined by a careless boy with wine he had never sipped from.

That's why he kissed you: he thought you were cool enough to.

At least, that’s what you had convinced yourself. Someone so captivating as him had given you the time of day and in turn, you’d given him whatever he wanted.

From that night on Yeonjun was sure that you were the one he’d spend his life with, but he wasn’t sure if you felt the same way.

Anytime he tried to bring up the question of your status, you shied away from his touches and laughed at the idea of any ridiculous proposal he could have made.

With time you became tethered together, tied in knots around each other’s ankles like cinderblocks.

The lingering question of just what you were hung over the both of you.

Not nothing, but something.

A new feeling that would never get old, never changing as time attempted to fade the two of you out. Because despite all odds: it was always the two of you in the end.

It was one of those nights that he was not altogether sure really did happen. There was no photographs, no receipts, no scrawled journal entries. No traces of you but the lingering scent of your perfume left to haunt him.

Just the memory sitting in his mind, like a half-blown dandelion, waiting to be fractured, dismembered.

Waiting to be picked apart and overanalyzed from front to back until there was nothing left to decode.

Waiting to disintegrate into nothing with the wind.

As he closed his eyes, the pictures played like a blurry montage. Instinctively he found himself humming along to the song you sang.

The lines framing your smile as you dramatically serenaded him, hands waving around wildly while thrashing in your seat. Absorbed in the music, some trashy synth pop and falling into your own world while taking nothing seriously in the moment.

What was a joke to you at the time was very serious for him, completely ignorant to the fact that he was falling in love with you that moment.

And he could see you driving for hours, the wind coming through the windows as you tapped along to songs and called out the strange sights you had seen.

The moniker of strange mom and pop shops the two of you would never stop to explore together. Alarmingly out of place mascots lining outside of chains that their designs never quite sat right with you.

Pointing at a lopsided display of a wooden carved penguin— a strange mascot for a cafe in the middle of nowhere, far away from the arctic and going ‘oh, Huening Kai!’ In the most amused tone.

All this while he just laughed and agreed, refusing to admit that he hadn’t been focused on what you were saying when you were just too breathtaking.

Until the street signs grew less familiar— the darkness that had overtaken you both with entering the tunnel and the one moment of silence the two of you had shared when there was nothing more for you to describe to him.

Where were the two of you going those nights? He couldn’t remember, maybe the destination hadn’t mattered that much in the first place.

When he finally opened his mouth to say something, some smug comment that he was sure would have you falling head over heels— you were already out of the dark.

The flickering lamplights gave away to stars as you confessed something.

“I missed you, Yeonjun.”

Those words alone had his throat running dry and for once in his life, he had been rendered speechless.

So he laughed, looking over to you in the passenger seat for a second— he swears just a second as he reached over, entwining your hands over the transmission and raising it to his lips as his eyes fell back to the road.

In his opinion, his lips never looked as good as they did when they were worshipping you.

Your presence made him feel helpless and lost, he would have it no other way. Driving down an endless path with no near destination in sight.

He found himself somehow liking the bumbling mess you had created out of him, letting his mind become completely misty in your company.

Mist should usually signal for some sort of danger, an impending doom or a mark of the calm before a storm.

The trust he placed in you, he allowed himself to get lost in you anyway.

Perhaps the mist never fully dispersed and this was why the memories were so cloudy, new parts seeming to insert and remove themselves with time.

Leaning back in his chair with an entertained smile, he sat across from you in that quiet, little cafe you had discovered. Your hands pushing the plates aside, reaching across for his.

The conversations you had about everything and nothing. And walking out of the door, hands ghosting against each other once more as you hesitated to say goodbye.

Not wanting to say goodbye and instead kissing you.

Pulling away only to lean into your ear, “wanna go for a drive?”

He remembered that.

‘One of those nights’ seemed to become every night spent with you. Nights that his mind still couldn’t be sure of if they were real.

His mind wondering if he was ever there at all in a moment so pristine, with a person and love so perfect.

Because how could you be real and still look at him with such love? Maybe it had all been some cosmic joke, maybe in knowing him you had somehow fooled yourself into thinking he was someone else. Someone who deserved your love.

But when he found himself thinking back on those nights sprawled out on your couch, entangled together as some movie played long forgotten on the screen in front of you— your voice had always pulled him back from the mist.

And in his heart, it is as though he never left.

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ ID: P1HARMONY

genre key : (o) one-shot . fluff (f) . angst (a) . humor (h) . comfort (c) . (s) series . + personal favorites (♡)

CALLER ID: P1HARMONY.

✧ wip.

CALLER ID: choi taeyang.

✧ eternal sunshine (a) (f) (s) [WIP]

CALLER ID: yoon keeho.

✧ True romance. (f) (h) (s) [WIP]

CALLER ID: choi jiung.

✧ cool with you. (f) (h) (s) [WIP]

CALLER ID: hwang intak.

✧ In Bloom. (f) (h) (s) [WIP]

CALLER ID: haku shota.

✧ Slick Spider..? (f) (h) (s) (♡) [WIP]

CALLER ID: kim jongseob.

✧ 36 Flavors! (f) (h) (s) [WIP]

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ