I Been Finally Been Playing Through P3r Episode Aigis And Having Played Isat Im Insane

I been finally been playing through p3r episode aigis and having played isat I’m insane

First off time loop. Obvious connection.

Also Metis has obvious abandonment issues? Hi Sif, hi Loop!

Also I watched through some Q2 cutscenes and the fucking connection my brain made with Kotone and Loop holy shit.

Seeing a version of your friends, your family, but when they look at you all they see is a stranger. Saying hello, hoping to be known, but they don’t recognize you.

Meeting and helping your replacement, in part envying them, but also feeling kinship and a deeper connection than you could possibly have with anyone else. Seeing them interact with your family in place of you, wishing you could just interact with your friends like you remember, but they don’t know you. They know them. I’m insane. I’m literally insane.

yoooooooo lets go!!!!

i cannot believe this is only a couple days away

me: oh no my blood sugar is sightly above range! what ever shall i do?

80 units of insulin:

so true. I drew this a couple months back

hhey. hey. (grabs your shoulders, trembling) in stars in time x the stanley parable. Cann you hear me. Can anyone fucking hhear me

I made this redraw almost immediately after the original post but tumblr has NOT told me it's sent properly any of these times and I'm losing my mind so I'm trying again

OH BOY DID I SURE GET IT THIS TIME AND I AMMM SO GRATEFUL

so many of the transfems i know spent their time pre-transition performing a kind of lifelong exercise in self-deprivation. the goal, for them, was to find out exactly how little a person needed to live. they starved themselves, dressed carelessly, shunned friends, and hollowed themselves out so as not to be burdens on anyone but themselves.

i see it now, too, in the girls around me. i'll ask if they want care – a home-cooked meal, relaxed company, sex without the expectation of reciprocation – and they say no, no, thank you, i don't need it; what would you like, what do you want, because in their head they're still doing that awful calculus, still training themselves to disappear in the eyes of the people around them.

i don't think i'd have died without transition – not in the conventional sense, at least – but to take that leap, i had to stop thinking of myself as a human experiment in fuel-efficient living and start nurturing the anemic, atrophied flame of desire in my heart. i had to learn to eat well, to exercise, to style myself beautiful, but harder than that, i had to learn to ask the people around me to work on my behalf in order to enrich my life and give me the things i wanted.

and i did it; i learned. and it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train, and every day i get better at accepting gifts with the hungry gratitude i never learned in my years and years as a sad, scared, lonely boy.

so be patient with the trans girls in your life. better than that: be proactive, attentive, generous; be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-deprivation that so many of us learned to rely on.

and if you are so lucky as to love a trans girl, you must insist upon her. you must insist upon her happiness, her comfort, her pleasure, and her rest, because she may still not yet know how to make those demands for herself. if you can devote any amount of energy to becoming an engine that nurtures the flame of even a single tgirl then there is a place for you in trans heaven, which as far as i'm concerned is the only one worth going to