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Vivacious-vexation - We Are But Stardust - Tumblr Blog
Deep Water Prompt #3348
The three pigeons on the wire that faces my bedroom window are one entity, waiting and watching, heads following me as one. I cannot seem to get an accurate count of their eyes.
Welcome back Archivist and their hate for gym rats named Jared!
okay so i work in the deli of a grocery store, yeah? and today i got this guy who came up with his two twin children, around five years old. he walks up to the counter, carrying one kid in each arm, and loudly goes "oh, no, i forgot what i wanted!" and turns to the boy in his left arm and, in a perfect blues clues style voice, goes "caleb, do you remember what i wanted?" and the boy goes "half pound of yellow cheese!"
i, obviously, say "you've got it little sir!" and slice up half a pound of yellow american cheese, handing it to the little boy, who looks it over, nods, and tucks it in his lap.
then the man goes "well, we can't just have cheese on our sandwiches. but what else can we put on there?" and the little gurl in his other arm goes "half pound of ham!" so i nod and say "yes ma'am! what kind?" and she points at a random cut of turkey, so her father nods and says "like she said, honey ham!" i cut half a pound of honey ham, hand it to the little lady, she looks it over, nods and puts it in her lap.
then the man goes "now, what should we have for the side?" and the kids both simultaneously start cheering "macking cheese!!!" and the man spins on his heel and marches off, presumably to find the macking cheese.
later, the little boy comes wandering back to the counter while his father looks on and loudly and proudly proclaims that he wants to know where the mustard is. i point him to the correct aisle, he nods, says "thank you mister deli woman" and walks away.
New meme alert
This is one of my favorite pics from the Olympics. This and the surfer walking through the air
jon asking skin satan to reach through his chest and yank out a rib so he won't be eaten by the compost coffin is a fucking insane idea that should not have worked
i wasn't "struck" by lightning okay she touched me as gently as a lover. my heart stopped because i was so overcome with adoration. god. you really dont know anything.
I thínk that Death is a motherly figure. I think her apron has floury handprints and she leads you by the hand until you have grown small again, and then she holds you in her arms like your mother did when you were too tired to sleep.
good news for all lesbians and sapphics !! hot woman no longer included in ACAB !!
nothing can happen to children in this podcast. they said. they never said anything about children happening to anyone though
Jonny has yet to write an episode featuring something coming out of the toilet and biting your ass but I guess some fears aren't to be trifled with
waiting for a period-themed flesh casement where you think they’re bad cramps, but it’s just your uterus clawing its way through your skin, falling on the floor with a splat, and walking away
Had to draw a comic inspired by this post which I’m sure we’ve all seen circulating
I’m still not okay
having OC’s is crazy for real because no one else gives a fuck meanwhile you’ll be at the function thinking about them (guys who are not real) like
Marking what belongs to her by evaleen
explanations for house not dropping f-bombs:
he’s on a network show (boring, pedestrian, lacks imagination, accurate)
cuddy started a swear jar and f-bombs are $1000 each because it was the only way to stop him (goofy, delightful, i assume his fellows rat him out)
wilson bet him he couldn’t insult people without saying fuck and that escalated to wilson betting him he couldn’t FUNCTION without saying fuck and it’s been a decade but house is too stubborn to quit now (canon as far as i’m concerned)
house knows where the camera is and when the fourth wall is in play and only says fuck when he knows he’s offscreen (house is bugs bunny with vicodin, in this essay i will-)