Not Made For One Another.

Not made for one another.

jpm x fem!reader

warnings; adultery, mentions of murder, angst, toxic relationships, mentions of sex.

a/n: this is kinda short; but I was in an angsty mood lmaoo

now playing: drunk walk home -mitski

It wasn’t always this way. He used to show you off, buy you fancy gifts and dresses; declare his un-denying love to you whenever you were sad. But you blinked and it was all gone. In a quick breath, a small flicker of light; he was no longer yours.

He used to make sweet, passionate, sometimes rough; depending on his mood, love to you almost each night; until he stopped. He was gone every night, leaving you alone in the quiet room that echoed of your sobs and sniffles. He would return, reeking of another woman’s expensive perfume, that often times matched the scent of the countess during the rare times you would see her.

It made you go crazy, the feeling of sadness quickly replaced by the bitter feelings of hatred and disgust. You wanted to slap him, tie him down and stab him repeatedly until you could no longer feel your arms. But you couldn’t; you still loved him. And a small, tiny part of you knew that. No matter how much you tried to ignore it. You loved James, and you always would.

You sat in bed, the pale moonlight shining down on you; enhancing your features mildly and giving your skin a ghostly hue.

A familiar voice that you had grown to despise, ripped the thoughts from your head. They were pushed to the back of your mind as you raised a brow.

“James? What are you doing here? You usually fraternize with Elizabeth for a lot longer.” You spoke viciously, your eyes that once held love and adoration replaced with despise and untrust.

“Whatever are you talking about, dearest?” The old-timey man in front of you with a thick accent raised an amused brow. His dead, cold eyes now holding amusement and cruelty.

“Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out?” You spoke, a slight shake in your voice as you stood up from the bed in which James once held you affectionately.

“Figure out what?” His face was unreadable, yet he faked cluelessness as he talked with you.

“Your little love affair with the countess!” You breathed out, crossing your arms and sending a glare towards the man.

He raised a brow once more, as he stared down at you. You wanted to shrink away, to hide. His strong gaze made your knees buckle, feeling vulnerable; but you stood your ground, staring back into his unloving eyes.

“Tell me now, do you love me; or her.” You spoke finally, awaiting his response as anxiety creeped up your spine.

He didn’t respond, keeping a tight hold on his cane; normally used as a weapon, which gave you just the answer you were suspecting. With a huff, you whipped around, reaching under the bed and grabbing your long ago discarded suitcase.

“What are you doing?” He asked in amusement, as if this were a game to him.

“I can no longer share a roof with a man whose heart belongs to another.” You spoke, throwing all of your belongings into the black suitcase; only tossing in a few things James had gifted to you.

He didn’t respond, he just watched as you ran around; collecting all of your things.

You zipped your suitcase closed, grabbing it and offering him a glare; before storming out of the hotel room.

You stomped down the hallway, tears building in your eyes, each emotion you were feeling playing a part.

You walked up to Liz sadly. “Hey Liz..” you mumbled, you voice breaking sadly. You allowed yourself to be vulnerable in front of her; since she was one of the only nice people in this hell hole trapped with unloving souls.

“Hey honey, what happened?” She asked, concerned grazing her features as she glanced between you and your suitcase.

“I’m leaving. For good, this time.” You spoke, your voice raspy and dry; from the cries you had choked out earlier. “James no longer loves me, and I refuse to sit by and watch him be head over heels for another woman.” You admitted, a sorrow filled expression lying atop of your features.

Liz nodded slowly, taking your hand in hers. “I’m proud of you, honey. And you can always stop by and come see me; I’ll keep James and Elizabeth away.” She furrowed her brows, the ghost of a comforting smile representing itself in her face.

“Thank you Liz, goodbye.” You offered a heart broken smile, as you turned and walked out of the large hotel.

You felt the eyes of your past lover burn a hole into the back of your head through the window, as you abandoned the sinister place you had once called home.

the grind NEVER starts. i am sleeping

Lady Gaga in Vogue UK December /Vogue Italia November 2021

Blurry Evan is better than no Evan 🥰

At a Superbowl Party last weekend in LA

In a world of boys, he's a gentleman.