Yes, Of Course Santa Eats The Bad Children. Judging By That Belly, It Looks Like This Hot Little Helper

Yes, of course Santa eats the bad children. Judging by that belly, it looks like this hot little helper found a naughty boy

The next afternoon

Huh, lost that bet.

“Looks like Tyler’s gonna have to cancel” read an ominous snap. Allison didn’t know what to make of it at first. She knew Greg could be an asshole, but eating her boyfriend two weeks before homecoming was a new low even for him! Greg tried to calm her with some bogus stories about Tyler being gay and him trying to save her from heartache before offering her the opportunity to go to the dance “with a real man”.

It was the night of HOCO when Greg pulled up in his used Cadillac. The plan went brilliantly, he thought, pleased with his performance that didn’t even leave the girl he had a crush on since sophomore year to hesitate his offer a moment. He rang the doorbell, 10 minutes late, but still cocky as ever. It was then, as Allison’s older brother swung open the door that he realized his grave miscalculation.

Gotta say, that’s not the kind of fruit I thought I’d be walking out with, but it’s honestly better. With a double date all ready, now I just need to decide which one me and my buddy each get.

I don’t know if I’ve ever had someone this excited to eat them. I mean usually there’s a struggle, or at the very least it takes a lot of convincing, but here this guy’s acting like I’m some selfless hero. I’d love to bring him back up and do this a few times, but he insists on full digestion.

I know COVID times has been hard for most people, but personally I’m loving it. Just take today as example. While before I’d have to be discrete, stalking a guy and drag him alone in an alleyway or spend money on drinks and lure him home just to get a decent meal, but now when I’m hungry, I just go to the local coffeeshop, quickly slide down my mask to stuff a anti-masker down my throat and people treat me like a hero. I gotta say, I never thought that in 2020 sending a guy to his death in your belly in public would garner applause.