Today I Woke Up From A Dream Where I Was Grocery Shopping With Corpse. We Were Completely Alone For Some

today i woke up from a dream where i was grocery shopping with corpse. we were completely alone for some reason and weren’t even shopping but just looking at each other. all i can remember is him carrying me where my legs were wrapped around his waist. but bitchhhhhh it was glorious and i was all smiley in the dream

Nothing will ever EVER fuck me up as bad as Five’s face seeing his family for the first time again in nearly 50 years:

Then Five’s face as he watches them walk away from him when he’s only been around them for about 3 weeks:

I will never be okay again

(On a date)

MJ: I’ll have the salad, no nuts, please.

Waiter: Of course.

Peter: It didn’t say it had nuts.

MJ: I’m allergic, so I tell them to be safe.

Peter: That makes sense.

Waiter: And for you?

Peter: Steak, no bees, please.

(Bonus)

Y/N to Natasha, watching from another table: … how did he get a date in the first place?

Natasha: You act like you’re any better

(Bonus bonus)

Steve to Tony, at a different table: I thought you said you prepped him?

Tony: I. Did.

some stranger things as textposts to lighten the mood

I’m in my class and this boy out of nowhere with a stupid smile on his face goes “the queen. She’s dead.” And my teacher goes “yeah queen Elizabeth the first.” And he went “No.The.One.Right.Now🙂”

Michel meowers