Driver's License | Keys

Driver's License | Keys

You decide to tease your friend after seeing his real name on his ID — coworker!keys x reader fluff

warnings: alcohol consumption since the oneshot takes place at a bar

words: 0.8k

a/n: this is my first keys fic and I know this is niche as hell but i've been obsessed with him lately so expect more lol

The bar was one of the more popular ones—which means there’s sometimes a line outside in the cold—but it was the one you always went to because it was walking distance from work. You, Keys, and Mouser stood in line shivering and wondering what was taking so damn long. 

“Should we just go somewhere else?” You asked the guys. 

“No, it’s fine.” Keys answered. “We’re almost at the front anyways.”

Mouser looked like he was about to say otherwise, but then dropped his protests. “Keys, can you like, stand on your toes and see what’s going on?”

He obliged and stood up as tall as he could, looking for the front of the line. After a few seconds of the most perfect posture you’d ever seen on your friend, he slumped back down to his normal height. 

“It’s not the regular bouncer. This one’s checking, like, everyone’s IDs for five minutes each.” Keys explained, pulling out his wallet already.

You held back a laugh at the obvious hyperbole and thanked him for the update on what was taking this line so long to move. 

Keys was right; you were actually close to the front of the line. It was still unbearably cold and it wasn’t even winter yet. Keys saw your discomfort and wrapped an arm around you. Maybe that was more than a coworker slash friend should do, but hey, you work at a video game company: nothing was really like other workplaces. 

Once you were finally at the doors, the new bouncer asked for IDs from all three of you—which you thought was ridiculous because none of you looked like you were minors—and thoroughly scanned each one of them. 

Yours was first, and maybe the quickest. Mouser showed his ID next, and then it was Keys’ turn. The worker looked at his driver’s license for longer than he had yours and Mouser’s, then passed it back to Keys with the card in between his index and middle finger. 

Keys seemed to be in a rush to put it back into his wallet, and when you caught a glimpse of it as he shut the leather flaps, you understood why. 

Your friend had never told you his real name before. Come to think of it, you weren’t sure he’s told anyone. What was perhaps his biggest secret was now in your hands, and there were infinite possibilities on what to do with it. 

You kept quiet while the group picked a booth to sit at, then went up to order a round of kamikaze shots to start the night off with a bang. After you’d all taken one shot together, Mouser went off to use the washroom, leaving just you and Keys together. 

Impatient as always, you had decided now was the time to do something with your newly acquired information. Biting back a smile, you tried to act as inconspicuous as possible. 

“You know what?” You started. “I know we still have a round of shots, but I’m gonna head up to the bar and get something with as many maraschino cherries as they’ll let me have. Do you want anything?”

He shook his head, smiling at your drink request. “No, I’m alright. I’ll stay here.”

You stood up, bringing a dollar bill from your purse to tip the bartender. “Okay, I’ll be back, Walter.”

He didn’t even notice your use of his name at first. But when your words played back over in his head—as most things you say to him do—his eyes widened and he shot up from the seat. 

“How did you— I don’t tell people my real name.” Keys said softly but urgently. 

You smiled at him. “I know. I saw it on your driver’s license outside. I just wanted to tease you a bit since I’m now one of the only people in the world who knows it.”

“You are.” He confirmed. “Just, please don’t use it at work or anything. I just think it’s embarrassing.”

“More embarrassing than ‘Keys’?” You giggled. You started walking towards the bar, and he followed closely behind. “You don’t need to worry, though. I like being the keeper of your secret.”

Relief washed over his face. “Thank you.”

You waved over one of your favourite bartenders, then brought your attention back to Keys. “Just for the record, I actually like your real name. It’s like a cute old man you live next to and bring in the newspaper for.” 

He bit the inside of his cheek and stood up from the barstool. “You know, just for that, I do want a drink. You’re buying it for me.”

You rubbed his upper arm to confirm there was nothing bad between you. “I’ll surprise you, Walt.” You told him as he walked back to your booth. 

Unsurprisingly, you were met with his turned back and a middle finger flipped at you. 

tumblr right now

smooch.

If tomorrow is the end of the world, one of the last things I wanna do is reading a oneshot of Joe and Hazel because I miss that little bitch a lot. Thank you in advance.

so, i vowed to never write baby hazel again, and yet, here we are... you're welcome Wordcount: 1.3K

--- Great Mum, Great Team

"What a terrible development," you said aghast though you were smiling, apples in your cheeks round and blushing. You were stood in the doorway to Hazel's bedroom, amazed at what you were looking at.

"I cannot believe my eyes!"

Joe sat on the carpet next to Hazel who was trying her very best to put on her mary jane's correctly, right shoe on right foot, left shoe on left foot.

Joe fully ignored you, eyes trained on Hazel's feet, just like hers were.

She struggled with the straps, tiny fingers trying to sort her toes out and not let her socks get in the way. You saw the tip of her tongue peek out in concentration, and saw how Joe, for whatever reason, copied it.

Your heart was overflowing with proud love for her as you saw her put real effort in, eyes flitting up to Joe for encouragement. It swelled your chest, pained it wonderfully.

"Nearly there. Yep, you got it." Joe spoke softly, not lending a hand, which really impressed you. You had a way of taking over, wanting to help out and just get the task done.

This was better parenting, what you were looking at.

Hazel's left heel slipped into the shoe and she immediately moved to stand up, grabbing onto a hand that Joe held out for stability.

"Yeaaa. High five, Hazel!" Joe exclaimed, holding up a palm that got hit by two smaller ones.

She did it.

"I can't believe it." you made big eyes as you smiled at her when Hazel skipped closer, telling you all about how she put her shoes on all by herself because she was a big girl now.

Something you'd been trying to convince her of for weeks.

"See, didn't I tell you?"

It seemed like she thought it was all way too far-fetched when you told her she was old enough to put her shoes on by herself, though.

The standard reaction you'd get was, "Can you please help me, mummy? I can't do it by myself." and you'd try. You'd really try. You'd tell her things like, no babe, I know you can do it, if you don't, you'll have to go outside without any shoes on and your socks will get all wet, and that doesn't sound very nice, does it?

But you'd grow impatient.

It would just take too long.

"She's going to need a big girl bed soon, too, don't you Hazel?" Joe said, getting up himself now too. Hazel ignored the both of you as she skipped past you, on her way to the living room where the TV was still playing one of her shows.

You raised your eyebrows and huffed a laugh as you watched her disappear down the hall.

"I swear she thinks she's a teenager." Joe mused, stepping closer and letting his hand fall to your waist.

"Yea, a teenager who only listens to you, it seems."

"Well," Joe leant closer for a quick peck to your lips. "Stop being such a push-over then."

Joe expected you to drop your jaw, to frown deep, and to shove at him, because he was clearly only joking.

But instead you sighed and quietly said "Yea, I know." much more sorrowful than he ever wanted to hear you.

You thought maybe it was your voice. You didn't think you sounded very authoritative, that you didn't tend to make demands very well.

Hazel always poked right through your demands. Didn't take them seriously like you wanted her to.

"Hey," Joe whispered worriedly, forcing eye-contact before saying, "You know you're not a push-over, right? I was only joking."

You smile at his gentleness. At the instant care he's got ready for you.

"No, I am. It's okay. I shouldn't have made such a headstrong child, it's my own fault." you tried your hand at humour, and Joe nearly bought it.

You could hear how Hazel opened a cabinet in your living room, followed by the sounds of the box with wooden blocks being dragged out. Hazel didn't really have time to play right now, Joe had just gotten her to put her shoes on for a short trip to the market. You didn't really need anything, but it was nice to get out of the house and tire Hazel out a bit.

"Baby," you called out to her, leaning away from Joe a little as to not shout right into his ear, and were about to tell your daughter to put the blocks back. But then Joe pulled you in close and pressed his nose into your cheek, softly saying, "No, let her. We're not in a hurry, are we?"

You realised just then that you weren't, and, to Joe's relief, finally swung arms around his neck to hug him back.

Through kisses to your cheek, Joe murmured, "You realise that only headstrong girls can make headstrong girls, don't you?"

You couldn't help smiling as you closed your eyes, relishing in this little moment of affection Joe created.

"You have no idea..." you started, humour in your tone. "How long I struggled to get her to put on her shoes the other day. And guess how that whole altercation ended?"

Joe kept his face stuck to yours, not moving away in between kisses, just making noises with his lips against your cheek.

"Who ended putting the shoes on?"

"Was it you?" Joe spoke out of the sides of his mouth, all hot air against your skin, unintentionally raspberrying you as he did.

"It was me." you confirmed, and you let a laugh escape in a huff through your nose.

"Hmm," Joe mused, moving to press his forehead against yours. "Just means you're nurturing. Caring. So sweet, and kind."

You got a kiss pressed to your lips.

"Yea, well... would just be nice if she listened to me like she listens to... well, literally anyone else. Not to, you know–"

You didn't want Joe to think he fell into that category. He very much wasn't literally anyone else to Hazel.

"I know." Joe understood.

"She– you definitely are dad, you–"

"I know. I was trying to compliment you, just accept it. You're a great mum." Joe shut you up, pressed more kisses to your mouth and let his arms wrap tighter.

You stood in Hazel's bedroom's doorway and let yourself drown in Joe's fondness for you. Joe showed it all the time, but there weren't many moments where you stopped everything you had going on to fully accept it for a moment.

And Joe lived for these moments.

It was only short-lived though. It always was.

From the living room you heard a crash of block, followed by a silence that then got broken by beginning cries from Hazel.

They quickly grew in volume.

You were about to pull away from Joe, already mentally picking Hazel up from the floor to hug close to your chest. But Joe held you and said, "Wait..." as he turned his ear towards the living room, listening. Waiting.

It just took a second longer for Hazel to start to cry out for her mum, and a smile spread across Joe's face.

"See? Mum. She needs you. No way that she was going to call out for anyone else. It's why we make such a great team."

You rolled your eyes as Joe made his point, finally losing his tight grip so you could make your way over.

Joe followed and watched as you bent over to pick up a crying Hazel who was holding a small hand to her head next to a big pile of wooden blocks. It was obvious a tower had fallen over and she'd gotten hurt in the process.

You shushed her and swayed as you comforted her, asking her if she'd hurt her head, if it was the blocks that got her.

Hazel's soft whimpers confirming that it had been the wooden blocks made Joe pout at her sad little voice.

When you turned to look at him, Joe's face smoothed out.

"Great mum." he mouthed, and you scrunched up your nose in response.

"Great team." you mouthed back.

---

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