Walter Keys Mckey - Tumblr Posts

JOE KEERY as WALTER “KEYS” MCKEY Free Guy (2021) | Dir. Shawn Levy

man written by a woman energy

remembering the time I cried because of Joe Keery. It was a while ago but all I remember was I was rolling around in my bed while my cat stared at me confused as hell and I was just sobbing "he's so preettyyyy"

I realized I genuinely feel more comfortable pretending to be a fictional character online because I actually know their personality and I don't know my own (also gender)

Oh god oh fuck oh jesus fucking christ

WHY? WHY MUST YOU BE 60 DOLLARS??

found this gem on pinterest so come get yall juice I guess

Joe Keery how dare you seem so sweet and genuine and listen to other people’s interests and let people speak and have those big brown eyes and smile like that and have those hands and and and

Smarty

+18 Keys x Reader

word count: 2,955

Keys is a pretty handsome guy. The kind of guy that makes anyone feel at ease just by staring at his hazel, puppy-like eyes. He has a pretty slope nose, cute freckles and small moles on his face and body, soft shiny hair and a perfect smile. Keys knows that he's pretty. He likes to act as if he's completely oblivious to his own charms, adding to the whole shy aloof tech guy persona. He knows the look girls and boys give to him, wanting to eat him up. He likes the attention, even though it still makes him flush at the neck and ears sometimes. He likes the way the girls giggle and offer him help when he has trouble with the printer at his job. He knows the flirty eyes and lingering touches girls give to him when he explains something to them, and how wildly they react and he swallows nervously. He knows the sultry tone of voice they use whenever he's alone with them in an elevator. He likes when they touch his cheeks, talking about how cute he looks with his glasses. Keys knows all of it.

He thinks is funny how you seem to act so untouched by his charming aura. He knows you're not imune to him, he noticed the slightly dazed look on your face whenever he talks to you. How you get fidgety, like a scared kitten, when he sits too close to you in meetings. And his favorite, how you cant keep eye contact, looking away and flushing every time. Keys thinks is cute, the way you avoid him, while also acting as if he's not affecting you at all. But then again, he knows he is.

It's friday, and as usual, the small office is nearly empty. Mouser has already left, with a promise of finishing his coding at home. Millie's desk is on your other side, leaving you between her and Keys. It's a little annoying sometimes, because they chat as if you weren't there, or worse, as if you were some kind of wall that they need to dodge to talk to each other. Other than that is nice. Millie is nice with you, and you consider yourselves to be friends. Keys is nicer, but the way you look at him makes clear you don't consider him your friend. He's in undefined territory, since you want him but don't want him to know it. He obviously has better things, or people, to do.

Millie looks at you smiling and waving, before plugging her notebook off, and leaves the place in quiet steps. She doesn't say anything to Keys, as she usually would, but then you realize its because he's focused on something, big headset on, eyes and nose scrunching in concern. You dont know for how long you stare at his face before he catches you, a mischievous glint to the smile he gives to you.

"What you doing?"

You shake your head before answering, feeling your armpits getting warmer with embarrassment. "Just, hm, Millie just left." Keys nods, taking the headset off, before turning his chair to you. He's still smiling, but is almost boyish now. He gets up walking to your desk, stopping just before his waist can touch your shoulders.

"No, what are you still doing here? Having any trouble?" You look at the slight messed up script on your computer screen. Sheepishly you nod, letting him invade the space between you and your desk. He works in silence, typing fast, the blue light of the screen reflecting in his glasses. You can seem to look away from him, inspecting his face and hair and hands and the lean muscles of his forearms, almost concealed by the rolled up sleeves of his grey shirt. It's almost too much, and you feel embarrassed by ogling him, staring quickly at the pen holder on your desk. If Keys notices it he doesn't show you. He does notices it, though. It takes him a lot of inner strength to not let a satisfied smile appear on his face. Instead, he keeps focused on the screen, catching glimpses of your face reflected in the mirror.

Suddenly Keys stops typing, and runs a hand to his hair. You look at the screen in awe. He smiles at you. "Done." You look up to him ready to thank him for helping you, but with the way he looks at you and the way he looks so handsome just standing in the dim lighting has the words caught up in your throat. You swallow, trying to find focus to speak, but he beats you.

"You're still having trouble aren't you?" You frown, not really understanding what he means. You want to ask him, opening your mouth to do so, but his hands cradle your face, he finds his way to stay between your thighs, and pulls your face gently up, to stare at his blown pupils eyes. You don't know to what exactly you're answering, but you nod your head yes, letting your lips part slowly, your breathing starting to get a little ragged. His hands are soft against your cheeks, a little bit of roughness on the tips of the fingers. Keys smile.

"Do you still need my help?" And now you get it, nodding a little too eagerly, tingling anxiety on your armpits, hands and neck. Keys chuckle at you, shaking his head a little. You feel like you're doing too much and intend to pull away, only for him to bend over and attach his lips to yours. His lips are a little chapped, tasting like coffee and melon bubble gum. He kisses you softly, letting you frustrated when he pulls away. His mouth moves to kiss your eye, your cheeks, the edge of your jaw, and your mouth again. He devours you then. The kiss is passionate, his hand running through your scalp to hold you more firmly, nested on the nape of your neck. You kiss him back urgently, letting him lick inside your mouth, sighing with want. Your hands twitch going to hold him by his shirt. Keys pull away, lingering kisses on your forehead.

"What do you want my help with?" He kisses your temple.

"With the mess between your thighs?" He kisses your nose while smiling.

"With the way you keep looking at me, like im not gonna notice those pretty eyes?" He kisses your jaw, nipping the soft skin. You gasp.

"With the way you ignore me? Hurting me?" You clutch his shirt harder, pulling him to kiss you again. He does, happy with your reaction. He kisses your mouth again, slow and lustful, earning whines from how much you want him. His hands go to your waist, for you to get up off your chair. You pull him harder, too anxious to trust your hands exploring on their own. Keys walks back until he sits down on his chair and pulls you to his lap with ease. You sit, arms tangling on his neck, before kissing him again. He dodges, and your kiss lands on his cheekbone.

"Wanna go to my place or to yours?" You think a little, too dazed by him.

"My house is 5 minutes away." He nods. "Mine is two blocks away."

You smile sheepishly, nesting yourself against his warm embrace. "Yours then." He nods too, looking at you in what seems adoration. "Atta girl."

The walk to his building is unnerving. Keys has his arm thrown lazily on your shoulders, as if this was a usual thing. Your body seems to think the same, and you hug him by the waist before you can think about it. He kisses the tip of your nose for that, a subtle new hint of adoration in his eyes. It's nice being so close to someone that you can smell their perfume, their sunscreen, the gum they're chewing, their sweat. Keys is warm, and you indulge yourself in being in his arms on a chilly evening. You could do this every day. You want to do this every day.

The building doesn't have a doorman, and Keys opens the door to you, making a silly face. He tells you his apartment is on the 8th floor, and so, you two walk to the elevator. His body is still glued to yours, hands holding hands, thighs touching thighs. The moment the elevator door closes, his lips are on yours again. It's soft, not nearly as desperate as before, but just as ardent. You pull him by his waist, locking one of legs between yours. He whines in your mouth when you touch a silver of exposed skin between his pants and t shirt. You want to hear him again. Keys slows you down, kissing you languidly and locking your hands with his. You are about to whine about it, but the elevator opens up. When he pulls back and looks at you, his eyes are a pool of molasses, warm and full of affection and yearning. He smiles while you pout at him. "Easy, tiger."

You giggle and he pulls you along the yellow lightning hallway. You feel giddy and excited, the way you felt when you had your first kiss. He looks so handsome in the dim lightning, the yellow hues only enhancing his tanned skin and caramel locks. You wanna eat him up. When he notices your not so subtle staring he laughs, giving you a quick peck on the cheeks before unlocking the door. Keys' place is quite neat, some mess of books and coffee mugs on the small table. You cant look around much, his lips are on your neck, his hands roaming between your ribcage and waist. When he touches your tits, a barely there, whisper of a touch, you gasp. He seems to like your reaction, grunting against your hair. Walking together you both reach his bedroom, where he turns you on his arms. Keys kisses you, urgently, teeth nipping lip, and suddenly you two are on the bed. You pull away, feeling too anxious now that this is actually happening.

"Keys." He's kissing your neck now, his hands under your shirt, his pelvis in synch with yours. You try again. "Keys, I wan-ah-na talk." He stops immediately, looking up to your face with blown pupils and shiny lips. You cant resist the urge to touch him, cupping his cheeks.

"I like you." He gives you a smirk, one of his hands coming up to stroke your cheek. "I can see that." He gestures to the way your legs are wrapped on his waist, locking him against you. You smile softly.

"No, like, I really like you. I don't want this to be a one time thing. I couldn't bear it." He sighs, and looks a little confused. He catches your hands, and kisses your knuckles. He cups your face then. "Honey, i've been trying to get to you for a long time. I want you for a long time. I wouldn't keep chasing you, if this was a one time thing."

You snort, happy he seems to feel the same as you. "You didnt chase me." He laughs ironically, ducking in to kiss your neck. "I did, you just never noticed."

Before you could keep arguing with him, and probably ruin the mood, his mouth was on yours again, a new intention behind the kiss. You grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him even closer to you. You pull away to kiss his neck, and place his hands on tour tits. He gasps and squeezes them softly, whining when you roll your hips against his. "You're too warm. Lets take this off."

You nod eagerly helping him to pull your shirt off. His comes next, and then your jeans and his jeans. Keys kisses you again, and you remove your bra. He pulls back, sitting on his ankles to watch you almost bare before him. He licks his lips, hands going straight to your tits. He squeezes them, focused on your reactions. He kisses one nipple and then the other before fully attaching his mouth to one of them. His thumb flicks the other, and you start to get impossibly wet. Still attached to your breast, his other hand descent to tease your cunt, pressing your cotton covered clit. You moan, and Keys looks up, smiling with his mouth engulfing your breast. You're getting impatient tugging him, squirming legs while he keeps teasing you. He gives you enough to stay in the halfway between your release, but never enough. Keys adores the way you whine and begs for more.

Finally he pulls your panties down, and licks your cunt. You almost cum just from that, back arching, hands tugging his soft hair. You can feel him smile against you and that only makes you wetter. He looks at you, glasses still on.

"Take them off for me please?" You nod, shaking hands taking his glasses and placing delicately at the bedside table. He licks you again, completely focused on your cunt, licking, kissing, devouring it. Keys presses his fingers at your entrance, and you push yourself against them in a desperate attempt.

"So needy, baby." The condescending tone in his voice and the way he pushes one finger inside, then the other, has you crying, clutching tightly to his sheets. He moves them slowly, testing you. "Can you take more?"

You answer yes panting, and he kisses the skin below your belly button as a reward. He adds a third finger and slowly sets a pace, his mouth glued to your clit. He alternates between licking and kissing your cunt and biting playfully at your thighs. You want him to eat you up, and he does, allowing your pleasure to flood through your senses, leaving you with ragged breaths and shaking limbs. Keys seems satisfied when he lays his head on your stomach, his hands caressing the sides of your ribs. He smiles lazily, pure bliss in his eyes, and you smile back, reaching to pet his hair.

"Didn't know you were this skilled in girls department, Mr. Keys." He laughs, a mischievous glint in his eyes. He climbs on top of you, his cock poking close to your cunt. You feel hot all over, and in a bold move, you grab his butt. Keys gasps and feigns a shocked expression before kissing your lips.

"Wanna be inside you." He says softly, before hiding his face between your neck and shoulder. You think is adorable, how he was just between your legs making you moan desperately, and now he seems shy about wanting to have you. You pull his face gently, kissing the tip of his nose. "Then be inside me."

He wastes no time, pushing his boxers down and hurriedly lining himself with you. You feel the air leave your lungs when he sinks in you, it's a nice burning stretch. "Jesus-f-fuck Keys!"

He whimpers and his hands grip you harder. "Sorry, sorry baby. So so sgood, feels so good." Keys starts slowly, allowing your body to get used and to feel all of him. Even though it's still burning, you need more, so you snap your hips against his. He groans, fucking you harder, meeting your hips in synch. Keys brings your legs up his shoulders, allowing him to feel you deeper, to fuck you deeper. His eyes never leave yours, and the way his face scrunch up, every time he fills you entirely, is enough to leave you a whimpering mess. He's close to his release and the soft babbling of how good you feel, how perfect is your pussy, how you look so pretty underneath him has you on the brink of your orgasm too.

Keys bends a little to reach your mouth with his own, and you lose all control, engulfing his body in a warm embrace of arms and legs and kisses. He keeps kissing you, swallowing your cries and slowing down. "Where do you want me, baby?" Everywhere. You want him under your skin, between your ribs, close to your heart. "In me, please." He grunts, rolling his hips slowly, making you mewl. "So polite, so good to me, so, so pretty, such a pretty little face, such a pretty little cunt."

You gasp, and Keys keeps fucking you slowly, steadily, focused on how you feel wrapped around him. You hold him tightly, still on your post climax haze, and he spills inside you. He collapses on top of your body, hands finding rest on your sides. His right hand fetches yours, and the lazy smile on his face when you squeeze his fingers between yours is enough to end all wars. Keys kisses your sternum, your throat, your chin and finally your lips. Is soft and languid, your legs finally resting on the mattress instead of locking his body closer to yours. He smiles between kissing, his hand now caressing your cheeks. "I quite like you, you know." You smile, so happy it almost hurt your cheeks. "I quite like you too." Keys rolls to the side, pulling you to lay beside him. A small blanket is throw over you but you're too focused on Keys' warmth and soft pine smell to notice. He kisses your mouth, nipping softly on the flesh before hugging you closely and dozing off to sleep.

Driver's License | Keys

You decide to tease your friend after seeing his real name on his ID — coworker!keys x reader fluff

warnings: alcohol consumption since the oneshot takes place at a bar

words: 0.8k

a/n: this is my first keys fic and I know this is niche as hell but i've been obsessed with him lately so expect more lol

The bar was one of the more popular ones—which means there’s sometimes a line outside in the cold—but it was the one you always went to because it was walking distance from work. You, Keys, and Mouser stood in line shivering and wondering what was taking so damn long. 

“Should we just go somewhere else?” You asked the guys. 

“No, it’s fine.” Keys answered. “We’re almost at the front anyways.”

Mouser looked like he was about to say otherwise, but then dropped his protests. “Keys, can you like, stand on your toes and see what’s going on?”

He obliged and stood up as tall as he could, looking for the front of the line. After a few seconds of the most perfect posture you’d ever seen on your friend, he slumped back down to his normal height. 

“It’s not the regular bouncer. This one’s checking, like, everyone’s IDs for five minutes each.” Keys explained, pulling out his wallet already.

You held back a laugh at the obvious hyperbole and thanked him for the update on what was taking this line so long to move. 

Keys was right; you were actually close to the front of the line. It was still unbearably cold and it wasn’t even winter yet. Keys saw your discomfort and wrapped an arm around you. Maybe that was more than a coworker slash friend should do, but hey, you work at a video game company: nothing was really like other workplaces. 

Once you were finally at the doors, the new bouncer asked for IDs from all three of you—which you thought was ridiculous because none of you looked like you were minors—and thoroughly scanned each one of them. 

Yours was first, and maybe the quickest. Mouser showed his ID next, and then it was Keys’ turn. The worker looked at his driver’s license for longer than he had yours and Mouser’s, then passed it back to Keys with the card in between his index and middle finger. 

Keys seemed to be in a rush to put it back into his wallet, and when you caught a glimpse of it as he shut the leather flaps, you understood why. 

Your friend had never told you his real name before. Come to think of it, you weren’t sure he’s told anyone. What was perhaps his biggest secret was now in your hands, and there were infinite possibilities on what to do with it. 

You kept quiet while the group picked a booth to sit at, then went up to order a round of kamikaze shots to start the night off with a bang. After you’d all taken one shot together, Mouser went off to use the washroom, leaving just you and Keys together. 

Impatient as always, you had decided now was the time to do something with your newly acquired information. Biting back a smile, you tried to act as inconspicuous as possible. 

“You know what?” You started. “I know we still have a round of shots, but I’m gonna head up to the bar and get something with as many maraschino cherries as they’ll let me have. Do you want anything?”

He shook his head, smiling at your drink request. “No, I’m alright. I’ll stay here.”

You stood up, bringing a dollar bill from your purse to tip the bartender. “Okay, I’ll be back, Walter.”

He didn’t even notice your use of his name at first. But when your words played back over in his head—as most things you say to him do—his eyes widened and he shot up from the seat. 

“How did you— I don’t tell people my real name.” Keys said softly but urgently. 

You smiled at him. “I know. I saw it on your driver’s license outside. I just wanted to tease you a bit since I’m now one of the only people in the world who knows it.”

“You are.” He confirmed. “Just, please don’t use it at work or anything. I just think it’s embarrassing.”

“More embarrassing than ‘Keys’?” You giggled. You started walking towards the bar, and he followed closely behind. “You don’t need to worry, though. I like being the keeper of your secret.”

Relief washed over his face. “Thank you.”

You waved over one of your favourite bartenders, then brought your attention back to Keys. “Just for the record, I actually like your real name. It’s like a cute old man you live next to and bring in the newspaper for.” 

He bit the inside of his cheek and stood up from the barstool. “You know, just for that, I do want a drink. You’re buying it for me.”

You rubbed his upper arm to confirm there was nothing bad between you. “I’ll surprise you, Walt.” You told him as he walked back to your booth. 

Unsurprisingly, you were met with his turned back and a middle finger flipped at you. 

keys... i just rewatched free guy and oh my god that man!!! wanna fog up his glasses as he's pinned down on the bed :( he's a guy with such pent up frustration all the TIME it's gotta feed his dick sooner or later. he's all quiet and needy at first, burrowing his face into your neck and kissing you slow as you undress him, with murmurs of "need you, please" andandand when u start praising him he goes absolutely feral because fuck of course it's his and only his cock that makes you feel this good rbrhdgxhdvsg

i'm going insane actually. goodnight :)

- mars

i just died.

poor keys who does so much work and never gets the credit. never gets told how good he is. so when you’re under him all pretty and moaning about how good he feels and calling him a good boy, he can’t help but to rut into you deep and fast :( making the bed move and his glasses slide off while he mumbles “oh yeah? yeah? you love my fuckin’ cock, honey?” and the change in tone and demeanor has your stomach flipping. he gets so rough, unable to hold back, fingers digging into your skin while he’s practically fucking you onto his cock. when you beg for his cum? he’s a screamer. whining and growling and moaning while he presses his hips flush against you and fills you up so full it nearly hurts. he’s back to being shy and sheepish after, apologizing, but you can only sing praises that get him hard again. yeas

HELLPPPP ANON ABOUT KEYS BEING INEXPERIENCED??? IMAGINE HIM HAVING A STRAP ON TUCKED AWAY BECAUSE HE'S WANTED TO GET PEGGED FOR SO LONG BUT HE'S TOO SHY TO ASK. BUT THEN YOU FIND IT. AND CONFRONT HIM ABOUT IT. OHHHH MY GOD

“what’s this?”

when keys turns, he expects to see, like, an ironic hawaiian shirt you found in his closet. instead, he fumbles with his bowl of cereal.

you found the strap.

“um.” he doesn’t know what to say. he hasn’t thought about how to approach you with it in a while, too busy with work to really divulge in thoughts like getting his ass fucked. “m-mouser? yeah. mouser got it for me. dumb gag joke.”

you furrow your brows. “and you kept it?”

he shrugs and forces a smile. his face is crimson. “yeah?”

you purse your lips. your hands running over the material has him tenting. “he brought you a dildo with a strap for a stupid joke?”

he falters a little “uh-huh.”

“so you didn’t buy it yourself.”

“no.”

“keys,” you sigh, nearly rolling your eyes. “i found this in your room in a bag. with a receipt.”

“w-“

“you could have just said something.”

he’s a little confused here. “huh?”

and then you’re dropping your pants, and even though keys has seen you naked about three dozen times, he still looks away to give you privacy.

“look at me, pretty boy,” you coo, stepping into the harness. his eyes are wide as he watches, shocked at the sight. a sight he never thought he’d see. “think it’s a little big for me to be realistic,” you say, stroking it. christ, you’re stroking it. he swallows hard.

“sorry?”

“you think you can take it?”

“well, um,” he says carefully, “i already have.”

your eyes widen. “when on earth did you have time for that?”

“when you went on vacation whenever - two months ago - right?”

he’s so silly. chest heaving, glasses fogging, hands gripping his cereal like a vice.

“how about you come show me how you take it?”

the cereal is discarded.

Rewatched free guy late last night/very early morning and man I forgot how much I love that movie

I love Keys <3

Driver's License | Keys

You decide to tease your friend after seeing his real name on his ID — coworker!keys x reader fluff

warnings: alcohol consumption since the oneshot takes place at a bar

words: 0.8k

a/n: this is my first keys fic and I know this is niche as hell but i've been obsessed with him lately so expect more lol

The bar was one of the more popular ones—which means there’s sometimes a line outside in the cold—but it was the one you always went to because it was walking distance from work. You, Keys, and Mouser stood in line shivering and wondering what was taking so damn long. 

“Should we just go somewhere else?” You asked the guys. 

“No, it’s fine.” Keys answered. “We’re almost at the front anyways.”

Mouser looked like he was about to say otherwise, but then dropped his protests. “Keys, can you like, stand on your toes and see what’s going on?”

He obliged and stood up as tall as he could, looking for the front of the line. After a few seconds of the most perfect posture you’d ever seen on your friend, he slumped back down to his normal height. 

“It’s not the regular bouncer. This one’s checking, like, everyone’s IDs for five minutes each.” Keys explained, pulling out his wallet already.

You held back a laugh at the obvious hyperbole and thanked him for the update on what was taking this line so long to move. 

Keys was right; you were actually close to the front of the line. It was still unbearably cold and it wasn’t even winter yet. Keys saw your discomfort and wrapped an arm around you. Maybe that was more than a coworker slash friend should do, but hey, you work at a video game company: nothing was really like other workplaces. 

Once you were finally at the doors, the new bouncer asked for IDs from all three of you—which you thought was ridiculous because none of you looked like you were minors—and thoroughly scanned each one of them. 

Yours was first, and maybe the quickest. Mouser showed his ID next, and then it was Keys’ turn. The worker looked at his driver’s license for longer than he had yours and Mouser’s, then passed it back to Keys with the card in between his index and middle finger. 

Keys seemed to be in a rush to put it back into his wallet, and when you caught a glimpse of it as he shut the leather flaps, you understood why. 

Your friend had never told you his real name before. Come to think of it, you weren’t sure he’s told anyone. What was perhaps his biggest secret was now in your hands, and there were infinite possibilities on what to do with it. 

You kept quiet while the group picked a booth to sit at, then went up to order a round of kamikaze shots to start the night off with a bang. After you’d all taken one shot together, Mouser went off to use the washroom, leaving just you and Keys together. 

Impatient as always, you had decided now was the time to do something with your newly acquired information. Biting back a smile, you tried to act as inconspicuous as possible. 

“You know what?” You started. “I know we still have a round of shots, but I’m gonna head up to the bar and get something with as many maraschino cherries as they’ll let me have. Do you want anything?”

He shook his head, smiling at your drink request. “No, I’m alright. I’ll stay here.”

You stood up, bringing a dollar bill from your purse to tip the bartender. “Okay, I’ll be back, Walter.”

He didn’t even notice your use of his name at first. But when your words played back over in his head—as most things you say to him do—his eyes widened and he shot up from the seat. 

“How did you— I don’t tell people my real name.” Keys said softly but urgently. 

You smiled at him. “I know. I saw it on your driver’s license outside. I just wanted to tease you a bit since I’m now one of the only people in the world who knows it.”

“You are.” He confirmed. “Just, please don’t use it at work or anything. I just think it’s embarrassing.”

“More embarrassing than ‘Keys’?” You giggled. You started walking towards the bar, and he followed closely behind. “You don’t need to worry, though. I like being the keeper of your secret.”

Relief washed over his face. “Thank you.”

You waved over one of your favourite bartenders, then brought your attention back to Keys. “Just for the record, I actually like your real name. It’s like a cute old man you live next to and bring in the newspaper for.” 

He bit the inside of his cheek and stood up from the barstool. “You know, just for that, I do want a drink. You’re buying it for me.”

You rubbed his upper arm to confirm there was nothing bad between you. “I’ll surprise you, Walt.” You told him as he walked back to your booth. 

Unsurprisingly, you were met with his turned back and a middle finger flipped at you.