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Human Guide: Humans Are Capable Of Eating Almost Anything.
Human guide: humans are capable of eating almost anything.
Alien thinks about the time their human friend refused to eat for a whole evening when they were served pizza with pineapple on it. "Well, it does say almost everything."
Human guide: humans can suffer grevious injuries and still keep going.
Alien thinks back to the time their human friend had to sit and cry for thirty minutes after stubbing their toe. "That doesn't sound right."
Human guide: human culture indicates they are a vicious predatory species and excellent at the art of combat.
Alien thinks back to the time their human accidentally swatted a butterfly and held a funeral for the insect. "Okay, this thing doesnt know what it's talking about." *throws guide away.*
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More Posts from Waschbaerchen33


Stabby The Space Roomba and Friends.

Never felt so seen 🖤 Wednesday is aroace in my eyes and I will not be taking any questions at this time
Can we acknowledge stomach acid being fucking weird? We have pits of acid in us that sometimes comes out our very delicate throats??? Imagine an alien hits a human in the stomach hard enough to make them sick and thinks they've won, but they get melted by the vomit. And somewhere along the line aliens get convinced that one of a human's defence mechanisms is spitting acid and we have to explain that no, but we have some earth native reptiles that can.
I feel like any aliens that were prey at some point in evolution would have an odd fear of humans. Mostly cause they look like predators, act a bit like predators, and ARE predators. One perfect example is when we're focused on something like a mosquito that's been bugging us for a long time and we are just done.
Alien: "What. What..?"
Human: *HUNTING down a mosquito it saw*
Alien: ".... yeah I am really uncomfortable...."
Human: *quiet footsteps, pupils dialated, intense focus,*
Alien: *WAR FLASHBACKS*
Human: "Found you." *absolutely desimates the mosquito, squashing it into a million pieces as it's guts and various body parts liquidize into blood of the bloodthirsty, now stained on the palm of the human. A living being now reduced to a useless corpse as the human wipes the remains on their pants*
Alien: "I feel like I've just gained trauma."