Bit Of A Self-insert, But...

Bit of a self-insert, but...

...I got nothing, just some thoughts going on in my head.

So I have this big box of old Yugioh cards and I saw that Arataki Itto is into card games. Now that we basically all agree that he's a himbo, I imagine that he lights up like a kid on Christmas when I pull out my five blue eyes white dragons. Then start teaching him what to do.

(Now in God reader's view)

The second you look away, a whole "legendary battle" is going on with your Yugioh cards. "The one and oni" Itto against some kid. Now you feel like you have to give attention to the winner even though you didn't agree to it.

Now Wisp Venti and Giant lizard Zhongli are cards that are playable.

So yeah...

I need to actually write something now don't I?...

Ok, so I got this scar on my right hand. I don't remember how I got it except it was from a surgery. Anyway, so I'm contemplating if I should throw my hat in the villain au- or is the impostor au? Eh whatever, let's just see how my low caffine filled mind will type then.

Implied male reader because that's what I am and I'm comfortable writing that. Also, you have the scar I mentioned at the top because I had a thought 'bout this.

Side note, *grabs a megaphone and turns it on* anyone of any age or whatever can read this. I honestly don't give a fuck! Just don't complain to me about it!

------------ Idk how to make a cut -------------

You just gotten home from an exhausting day of whatever the hell you do. You've made the decision of playing Genshin after a total of 1 hour and 1 minute of looking through your library of games. The game started up and when those doors in the loading screen up, you started to get sucked into the screen along with your phone. When you finally get sucked in, your vision faded to black....

But luckily you didn't die as you landed in a convenient field of flowers.

"Ugh..." you groaned out. You lifted yourself up and saw the beautiful city of Mondstat.

"Nope, I'm going back to sleep. This is a dream" you speaked to yourself and then faceplanted back onto the flower field.

A bit of time passes as you woke back up again to still see the sunsetting over Mondstat.

"Well I'll be, I guess Sagau just came ture..." you spoke to yourself as you got up and headed towards the city. As soon as you got to the gates, the two knights of Favonius standing guard look at you with curiosity and shock.

"Daw shite, don't tell me this is a impostor au..." you thought. A bit of worry kicks in as you might get you family jewels cut off by Jean or possibly Ningguang. The latter if you escaped this place and go to Liyue due to a series of unfortunate events (🎵Look away, look away, look away🎵).

After some time walking around and just taking in the beauty of this world, ignoring the looks of the citizens of course. You were suddenly stopped by one of the top tier waifus, Jean Gunnhildr. Your eyes widen and felt heat on your cheeks because Jean was your first waifu and first five star so you obviously had a little, itty-bitty, tiney tiny crush on her.

"Please tell me as to why your where our gods face, impostor" Jean sternly said to your face.

You looked around then back at her. "You talking to me?" You said back to her as you pointed at your face with your right hand.

Jean looked at your hand and her face turns from serious to shocked. She then gets on her knees and clasped her hands together in a prayer formation.

"I'm so sorry your greatness! I thought you were an impostor! How can I be so stupid!" She pleaded to you as you stared at her with confusion.

"...What?" You questioned. Jean stand back up and grabs your hand and pinted at your scar. "Your mark, you made your the skin on the back of your hand form a heart. You did this to always prove your divinity to us. Along with symbolizing the love you put into crafting our world with your hands!"

"I always thought it looked like a speech bubble..." you said quietly to yourself as Jean was mesmerized by your hand. You soon realized a crowd of people was surrounding you. Jean snapped out of her trance and got her self up. She looked at the crowed began to speak to the people. "Everyone! Rejoice as our God blessed us with their presence!" She then lifts your right hand up to show your scar.

You stood their confused on what the fu- happened. First you were called an impostor and literally one second later, everyone is calling you God. All because of your scar. But during all of this, one singular thought is on your mind. "I wonder where Aether is? Oh wait, I haven't finish Inazuma yet"

<Meanwhile>

"Achoo!" Aether sneezed. "Are you ok?" Paimon asked the sneezing adventurer. "Yeah, I felt that our greatness thought about me". Aether responded to the emergency food. "Huh, well Paimon thinks we should go see about the third guy lady Ayaka told us about" (Yes, I haven't finished this part yet). "I don't know, maybe we should check out Mondstat..." Aether told Paimon as he started to walk in the direction of Mondstat. "Hey! Wait up!" Paimon flew up and followed Aether.

<Back to your scheduled program>

You were following Jean, who still was holding your hand by the way, as she was showing all of Mondstat. During the tour, people started to give you gifts that varied from crops, liquor, the blood of your enemies. Even Amber, who showed up late to the impromptu arrival, gifted you a special baron bunny that's dressed in what she heard you refer as "drip". Almost everyone in Mondstat was there except for Albedo, who's in Dragonspine at the moment. But do not fret, Timaeus is running to get him.

Oh I should mention that a few individuals *cough* Kaeya and Lisa *cough* are gossiping about you and Jean holding hands. If you listen carefully, you can just feel the jealousy in them.

In conclusion, you were at first scared, but now basically everyone wants to be in Jean's position even a certain drunk bard. The rest of your first night in Teyvat was an impromptu festival in your honor.

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Yo, should I make this into a part series? Like let's say you arrive in Liyue first or just straight up fall on Aether in Inazuma.

My strat for Impostor AU if I have the choice of bringing whatever I want that I currently have home (I thought of this while taking a shower):

I would use a makeshift winter camo suit (depending what I would have) and I would stay inside at the top of Starglow Cavern in Dragonspine with a fire right by me to not get the Sheer Cold effect.

While at my spot, I would use a sniper-ish position with my M4 to deal some damage to them cultists while they get Sheer Cold which would slow them down. Once I run out of ammo, I'll whip out my SIG and start blasting at the cultists. If they get close, I'll slide down the mountain to the shore area. Then run and hide until I find a sure fire way to get away without being detected. That or teleport somewhere far if I have that game mechanic.

If I could, I would lay down traps to set a avalanche like the Sus Albedo event to slow them down more along with the Hilichurls. Abyss, Ruin Gaurds, and Fatui that live there.

If I have gold blood (which I would check if I get transported to Teyvat by make a small cut or something) and I get close to death, I would slash my hand with my knife and throw some blood towards a cultist's eyes and commit die right after (victory doesn't mean I live, it means they failed). When they realized that my blood is gold and that I'm their God, it would be too late.

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If anyone is willing to accept this, I dare you to make your own strat and talk about it.

As the words of the Fallout NV Legion say, ahem, "Degenerates like you belong on a cross" (I say towards people who do that disgusting, horrible shit)

TW: Mentions of su*cide, Death threats

I recently started to think back about the hate comments on my old account. And oh my gosh, I feel my blood boil every single time.

The fact that someone, who is probably older than me and should be more mature than me, decided to actually send me death threats on my old account. I'm absolutely disgusted.

The thought of saying:

"Go k*ll yourself :)"

to ANYONE, especially a minor who hasn't done anything wrong and who genuinely loved writing and had a passion, a minor who was impressionable, a minor who could have seen Tumblr as their safe space, to see such comments dirtying the image of their safe space, it was painful.

If I wasn't in the right mindset, if I was going through something, if I didn't feel okay, I might have actually done it. I might have gone through with that.

The worst part is that the same thought STUCK TO ME. I think about it monthly, if not, weekly. If I went through something horrible, and that comment pops up in my mind once again, I might start to think about it even more.

I'm not su*cidal in any way, but the fact that this actually happened to me at such a young age, that I keep thinking about how much audacity this anon must have had to know my age and deciding that sending such a comment was the proper thing to do.

It makes me sick, I hate it.

Please, NEVER SEND DEATH THREATS TO ANYONE. NO MATTER HOW TERRIBLE THEY ARE, NO MATTER HOW BAD THAT PERSON MIGHT BE.

One comment can change someone's mental health entirely for the worse. Please, think about your words. Please don't.

I have a question,

Have you ever slashed a soul to ribbons?

Have you ever believed in a mirage?

Howdy y'all! I'm the WiFi-Crusader! But y'all can call me whatever ya want. My background is my dog in a hat, ain't she adorable, but don't f#ck with her.

Backstory, I was messing around then stumbled upon Sagau, found wisteria and became WiFi Anon! Now I'm gonna try, key word "try", to write stuff and make something enjoyable.

Inbox: Open

Requests rules-

No pedophila

No furries (Kemonomimi girls allowed. Google it if ya don't know what it is)

Only wholesome stuff with the kids. Like teaching them how to use a gun or somethin'

Everything else can be asked because I wanna see y'alls limits are.

Remember, madness is like gravity. Now watch me do a flip