God.

God.

How can I put into words what this meant to me?!?!

Just utterly speechless...from the very beginning to the end.

Firstly we've got scared shitless that bro possibly found out about Yoongi because that man was just in a daze and serious. And not knowing he was there at Jimins party?!?

And what the hell?!?!? BRO WAS AT THE PARTY?!?!

Not only that but BRO like we gotta talk to Yoongi!

From the beginning of that convo with Bro you can tell that Yoongi is like wtf?!

And of course Yoongi being the dream man he is—immediately defending them because but bro no bro he ain’t letting that shit slide.

& to see that Bro and friends saw that he previous relationship was not the best for him. They saw how different he was as how he is now.

But that guitar?!?! It’s from his ex??!!!

Is that why he cried that one night?! Why does he still have it?!? ( Answers to this questions to be continued…)

But the devastating fact that Bro was having a hard time with reader because he didn’t know what was going on. Yoongi here not knowing feels guilty because he’s blaming himself!! Did his ex make him feel as tho everything was his fault?!??

Jiminsshi poor baby was like sorry if I spilled the beans. 🥹

I’m getting a little suspicious here of Jk catching on to Yoongi!! He slowly going to be putting 2+2 together, me no likely.

I love you JK but please stay back sir. 🤺

The way Yoongi after finding out how down reader has been doing the most to show that he cares and how guilty he feels for putting them through that. Where can I get myself a YOONGI?!?!

The moment we’ve been waiting for—they are finally going to see each other. 🥹

Here thinking we’re going to spend quality time to cook and be homey—to I wanted to throw you on my bed but that’s gotta wait.💀

Ugh—the emotional rollercoaster begins.

Him just being flat out sorry—for the damage he thinks he’s done. He is literally just what men should be. Going out of his way to show and try his best that he truly cares. Showing the devotion because he is really serious and cares not just about what they’re doing but because he wants them to be together freely.

Not reader being used to people leaving. 😔

But not this man, he’ll always come back.

The chain?!? The chains?!? 🥵⛓️

I swear if Yoongi didn’t have this shit planned I would’ve taken him in the backseat ready to break my back— 😏

The glistening sweat, the wet hair!!!! ( GOT ME FERAL😈)

I would’ve gladly licked that man’s sweat—looking like a minx.

But the fluff to the tension!! Complete 180 because sir..empty room, sweaty, and sexual tension. 🥴

You don’t got to tell me twice!!

Game Day has ARRIVED‼️🏀

But alas it’s here and they’ve got jerseys!? And where can I buy one?? 👀

Can the girl for the score be like—umm temporarily leave??

Of course Hustler being Hustler what’s in it for me—I ain’t doing this for free.😎

And that damn douche appeared again?!?!

After this all bets are off because Yoongi ain’t gonna let any type of shit slide. And I whole heartedly support him because you ain’t gonna walk away without consequences.

My poor heart was barely hanging on for this one.

Was it worth it??

Yes yes it was.

Fantasticly and magnificently well written Ryen. 🫶🏻🥲

@kithtaehyung

broken, pt. 1 (3tan) | myg

title: broken (pt. 1) pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series:masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: chilling conversations prolong things even further… until everything goes to hell. note: this is only one half of what was supposed to be a whole chapter! broken, pt. 2 will come out after i’ve had time to make it something i’m proud of. trying to rush everything out didn’t do any favors, so hilariously and ironically, broken is broken up into two hahaha. warnings: language, angst, tension, yoongi’s pov is longgg, alcohol consumption, tobacco mentions, bro🥲, yoongi in the studio😩, the studio boys make another appearance👀, …someone else makes their first appearance👀👀, scuffles, tense situations, did i say angst?, water bottles get their own warning, long hair yoongi, basketball yoongi🫠, crying, bro a ha ha, jimin has tats and he’s not afraid to show them, the chains stay on(???), …bad boy yoongi😀👍, honestly he is on another level of warning here don’t perceive me💀, the fluff is fluffing here like what, backstory we’ve been waiting for😗, yoongi on the phone, hand holding :’)), kissing :’)), oh god the kissing❤️‍🩹, there’s just a lot in both parts i’m sorry y'all playlist: broken (lp) drop date: dec 3rd, 2023, 4:00pm est word count: …19.1k 🚶‍♀️

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Words abandon you.

Keep reading

Just wow.

The rollercoaster of emotions from this chapter!

Had me doing thinking real hard like wait???! Did we time skip or something?!?!

But Jesus!

Jimins house?!?!?

Then Kook finding us— oo ( love me angry JK cause to can lead to rough sex

Last but not least of course him being so

understanding and just perfect! They might say things they don't mean just to hurt each other! But this"Where everything is okay, and if it's going to be the last good moment for awhile, I want to enjoy it. I just want tonight, okay?"

It killed me.

Knowing what might or not happen he just wants to be in the moment and cherish it.

You've got me on the edge of my seat pulling my hair out!!

@jknoah

the five-year plan . fourteen | jjk

you’ve always had a very strict life plan. when you were twenty you sat down and made your five-year plan, you would get married, get your dream house, have your dream career and then at the end of those five years you’d have a kid. everything was going perfectly to plan, well until your husband came home with divorce papers. now you’re somehow trying to stay on track, maybe you could convince your best friend to have a baby with you?

chapter fourteen. the one where things fall apart

pairing: best friend! jungkook x reader genre: fluff, idiots to lovers, slow burn. rating: explicit. minors do not interact. tags: fluff (but is it really?), angst, non-linear timeline, *conan voice* one truth prevails. (i don't think anything else but yall will probably yell at me for missing smth) wc: 7.7k (everywhere I go i see them) date posted: 121024 author’s note: good morning!!! (or good evening, good afternoon depending on your time zone) i hope you enjoy!! reccomended song for this chapter is seasons by wave to earth, i even linked the playlist 🫡

main masterlist | series masterlist | taglist

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The last waves of sleep slowly lap away with the press of lips against your cheek and an uncontrollable whine escapes your lips.

A gentle laugh is heard in response and a smile threatens to form even as you try to turn your face into your pillow, still chasing after Morpheus's sweet embrace. He continues his delicate attack against every inch of your skin that he can reach.

“Stop,” You whine trying to push him away and bury yourself under the covers, “I wanna sleep,”

“You gotta get up, we've got places to be, things to do, memories to make.” You can hear the smile in his voice, but you still haven't turned your gaze towards him, enjoying the familiar routine of this song and dance. "Time to get up baby.”

“Hmm,” You hum in consideration, “it'll cost you.”

“Will it?” He asks with a fond laugh, your heart feels like it's going to beat right out of your chest, and if this is the way you die then so be it, so full of love that you burst right at the seams.

“Yes,” You nod, finally turning towards him, blinking away the sleep from your eyes, “One—no, Two, two kisses.”

“Ahh,” He says dramatically, like it was some terrible feat like he wouldn't give you enough kisses to last a lifetime, “I think I can manage it.”

He gives you two pecks, quickly there and away before you can even really stop him, you whine reaching out for him, “No, three.”

“Three?” He asks incredulously, “In this economy?”

“Yes,” You insist, wrapping your arms around his neck, and pulling him into your embrace,” Now quit arguing before I make it five.”

“Well, we can't have that can we?” He jokes, and then he finally presses his lips against yours. He kisses you slowly, deeply, like he has nowhere else to be but right here with you, forever.

The third kiss turns to a fourth, a fifth, a sixth until your thoughts are so clouded by him that you couldn't possibly even think about counting. The way you fit together is so familiar, yet it never fails to fill your heart with so much joy it's like it's the first time. You don't think you'll ever get over it, you hope you don't.

He finally pulls away, and he stares down at you, his lips swollen and a smile so sweet it breaks your heart.

“Good morning,” He says and it sounds less like a good morning, and more like an I love you.

“Good morning, Koo,” You answer, an I love you too.

–

“Okay, so the first thing on the itinerary today is breakfast with Jin-hyung and Sanghee-noona, and they're bringing Eunseo with them so make sure you bring the gift we got her. Ahh, I'm sure she'll look so cute in it,” Your husband says flittering around your bedroom putting together everything he needs for the day. You notice the way he grabs the necklace you bought him, and a specific pair of earrings— ones that you have a matching pair of that you're sure he'll talk you into wearing.

“Then we're meeting your parents for lunch, and then we're going to see everyone for dinner, Okay?” He turns towards you, still lying in bed with a blanket wrapped around you.

“Well, actually I don't think noona is going to dinner, that's why we're seeing her and Seo-ah for breakfast. But we won't have time to come home afterward, we've got other places to stop at, so please choose your outfit wisely because I really don't want to fight with your mom about what you're wearing. Which, it's so fucking stupid that she thinks just because we're married I suddenly have a right to tell you what to wear. And like whatever, I can fight so who cares if some asshole thinks he can run his mouth, I just don't understand why she thinks it's necessary to make dumb ass comments on it, sorry I don't dictate every decision you make — I mean, I guess I kind of just indirectly told you what to wear right now. Sorry baby, do as you please, it’s your birthday. Go crazy.”

“Jungkook,” You say with a laugh, “Baby, it's fine. We'll be fine, It's just one day. We'll just get through today, and then we can stay home for two weeks.” You lean forward and stretch up to catch his lips on your own.

“Hmm,” He says contemplating, smiling into the kiss, placing a delicate hand on your face, “Three.”

You can't help the laugh that escapes, smiling so wide that Jungkook ends up kissing your teeth.

–

Breakfast with Jin and Sanghee is absolutely perfect, Eunseo is the cutest baby in the whole world and you knew from the look in his eyes that Jungkook was imagining the two of you with a kid all of your own. You wondered if your child would have your smile and his eyes, his nose, and maybe your lips?

They'd be perfect no matter what so it didn't matter. They'd be perfect and oh so loved.

Lunch with your parents went less than perfect.

Your mom did actually try to start a fight about your outfit and Jungkook quickly distracted her by telling her that he was thinking about growing out his hair, which was far worse than what you were wearing in her opinion. You and Jungkook shared secret smiles as your mother went on and on all about what was wrong with the youth these days, and how you two were foolish for getting married so early — she was quickly shut up again when Jungkook loudly announced that the two of you were thinking of trying for a child. She suddenly no longer had qualms with Jungkook's tattoos, or his hair, or his piercings, or his job. All that mattered was that he'd be giving her grandchildren.

Today was everything you could've hoped for, the best birthday you could've possibly asked for, and now you're sitting at a restaurant surrounded by all of your friends. Namjoon, Taehyung, Jin, Hoseok, Jimin, and Yoongi — Yoongi? You hadn't met Yoongi yet, you're sure of it you hadn't met Yoongi until after the di–.

“Time to blow out the candles!” Hoseok announces loudly while carrying the cake towards you.

Everyone breaks into the familiar tune of Happy Birthday, and your thought slips away from you without you noticing like it was never there.

As you're leaning forward to blow out the candles a wish on your lips, for life to always be like this something else catches your eyes— “Peonies?” You say curiously, eyes locked on the flowers in the center of the table, something is wrong, you can feel it, and you're not sure what it is but you can tell these flowers are the key to it.

“What?” Jungkook asks from your side, placing a kiss to your temple, “What's wrong baby?”

“The peonies.” Your eyes don't leave the flowers sitting on the center of the table, “My favorite flowers are tulips, those are peonies. You didn't get me peonies for my birthday… Jimin did.”

As soon as those words leave your mouth, you are jolted out of the moment, you awaken with a gasp, trying to catch your breath and reorient yourself. You're no longer in the restaurant surrounded by everyone you love but in an entirely unfamiliar place. But the longer you're awake, the more your brain adjusts to the changes, you even start to slowly notice things; the jacket hanging on the back of the chair that you picked out once upon a time, the watch sitting on the nightstand, and lastly the framed photos on the wall. One of a little boy accompanied by his parents on each side of him standing on the shore somewhere in Busan, a group shot of eleven friends all smushed together in a photo booth — it's not even from the photo strip but a photo taken on someone's phone, and then a photo you have hidden in a drawer somewhere in your apartment. Because the third photo is you staring back at yourself with a wide smile on your face, cheek pressed tightly against another's who's smiling just as hard as you, the photo from the vacation the two of you had taken just after you graduated from college.

“Mimi?” You ask cautiously, voice coming out unexpectedly hoarse. All that you get in response is a familiar groan coming from your left and you turn your head to find your ex-husband sleeping in the bed beside you, all the covers wrapped around him tightly in a way that feels far too familiar and yet so unexpected and jarring all at once.

How the fuck did you get here?

“Mimi?” Jimin says with a teasing smile, his voice still rough and groggy from sleep. You're both seated at his kitchen island, you're cradling a mug of coffee in your hands. You're not yet drinking it but temporarily stealing its warmth, “I can't remember the last time you called me that.”

You shrug, shrouded in the throw blanket that you had found on his couch. It's not the blue one you had left at your house when you had divorced, a part of you had kind of wished he still had it, that it wasn't just you that was left with all the small reminders of what once was.

“Had a weird dream,” You confess, blinking at him slowly, finally bringing the coffee up to your lips to take a small sip. The warmth soothed you in a way you couldn't explain, your eyes slipping close until Jimin's voice came again.

“About what?” He asks sounding genuinely curious, just a hint of concern, like he thinks he shouldn't let it show. He runs a hand through his messy bed head and you're hit by the old urge to run your own hands through his hair.

You stare at him for a minute, not sure if you should actually tell him what had really happened in your dreams.

You settle on a “Jungkook.” Electing to tell him but choosing to omit what had actually bothered you about the dream.

“Was it a sexy dream?” He teases, “And while in bed with your ex-husband no less.” He tuts, a shit-eating grin overtaking his face.

“No,” You defend yourself, nose scrunching up. You chose not to point out that you definitely had a sexy dream or two about Jungkook when you were still married. You also don't point out that he did too, and that he even had a whole crisis about it for days.

“Which, how did I even end up in your bed, Jimin-ssi?” You squint your eyes at him accusingly, you don't remember running into him at any point last night, so how in the fuck did you end up here?

“Jimin-ssi.” He scoffs, “It was Mimi like fifteen minutes ago, it's too early for you to be this dramatic.”

You just stare at him expectantly, he'd been your husband for four years, he knows well how dramatic you could truly be.

He rolls his eyes, “I found you hiding in Namjoonie-hyung's room at Hobi-hyung's party, completely wasted, might I add.”

You know that if you were still married that right about now he’d be giving you a lecture about drinking that heavily while you were by yourself. When he wasn’t there to take care of you, to make sure you got home safe, so he was certain that no one could take advantage of you in that state. But that's no longer his responsibility, you're no longer his responsibility, so he doesn't say it.

“So I offered to take you home, but you kept insisting you couldn't go home because of some man named John,” He says the last part sounding confused, he looks at you for context but you're as lost as him, John?

“Then I was going to take you to Jungkookie's but then you started crying, started talking about how you don't deserve him and he doesn't deserve your treatment and well I'm not sure what else. But I just ended up taking you here after assuring you that I have never met John so there's no way he could find you here.”

Who the fuck is John?

“I got you in bed and I was going to take the couch but then you looked at me with those fucking eyes and you know I can't say no to that look,” You do know that, you'd gotten away with so much during your relationship with the right timing of that look, “And then you asked me to stay, and when I even tried saying no, but you just said why do you keep leaving me, which ouch, Y/N, lot of emotional manipulation there. So, here you go, the two of us, in bed, together.”

“Okay.” You say, not sure what else to say, what else you could say. There was a lot to process in all of that mess, and you're not even sure where to start. And in all honesty, you're far too hungover to even begin processing it.

“Okay?” He laughs, “Nothing else?”

You shake your head no and then take a sip of your coffee again.

“Brat.” He scoffs fondly, a familiar interaction between you two.

“How's the girlfriend?” You ask, deciding to actually be a brat about the situation, “How's she gonna feel about me being here?”

Jimin's gaze darkens for a moment before dropping into something a little more muted, “We broke up.”

“Oh?” You ask surprised, last you heard the two were still going strong, almost coming up on their first anniversary, they'd started seeing each other officially before the divorce had even fully settled. And because you can't help yourself, “Did you find out the hard way that the grass isn't greener on the other side?”

“No,” He denies without hesitation, “It's not always greener on the other side, but it is different. There's some moss, and dandelions, and a whole different ecosystem to discover. So, I am enjoying exploring the other side.”

You're not sure how to respond to that, so you take another sip of your coffee and pulled out another familiar response, “Dickhead.” It sounds far too fond leaving your lips and he can't help but smile at you.

“So,” He says, dragging out the 'o', “Tell me about your dream about Googie?” It's more a question than a statement.

He's seated in a way that's so familiar; it feels so reminiscent of the times you'd sit around the table late in the afternoon gossiping about all the things that happened recently. Did you hear what so-and-so did? And Taetae told me that - and I heard that she got plastic surgery and he's cheating on her with the neighbor and so on and so forth. The two of you forever standing at your little intersection of being both lovers and friends.

“Well, I don't know,” Your teeth drag across your bottom lip, slightly chapped from the colder weather, it wouldn't hurt to talk about it. It might bring up some old wounds to the surface but Jimin used to be the person you'd tell everything to.

“It was more of a memory than a dream, it was my birthday, my 23rd,” You say giving him a pointed look, “Y'know before everything was completely fucked. But it was weird because things were different, like in my dream we had breakfast with Jin and Sanghee and Eunseo, but Seo-ah wasn't even born yet. And like Yoongi was at the birthday dinner but I didn't even meet him until after the divorce. And, well when Jungkook and I, when we had lunch with my parents, she was nitpicking at him the whole time which is crazy because she never nitpicks at you. She loves you, probably more than she loves me. I think she was more upset by our divorce than me. But even those little things didn't deter me because it was just, so good, I was so happy, well, until”

You pause giving him a look, and he stares back telling you to continue with his eyes, “The peonies.”

“Ah,” He says with a bitter laugh, throwing his head back dramatically with a roll of his eyes, “The fucking peonies.”

“Jungkook would never get me peonies,” You say with complete certainty, maybe rubbing the salt in his wounds a little, “As soon as that thought crossed my mind everything else seemed to unravel and I just remembered that day how it actually played out. Fighting that morning because you were too tired to go to breakfast and it was so embarrassing to show up just by myself and having to watch Jin and Sanghee be so in love when we'd had just spent an hour yelling at each other. And when we went to lunch with my parents, my mom embarrassed me in front of the whole restaurant and you didn't say anything,” tears start to prick at the corner of your eyes, and you reach up and wipe them away roughly, “And then fighting over the fucking peonies.”

It's silent for a moment, the air heavy between the two of you.

“I think things started to fall apart a lot earlier than we noticed.” You say when the few tears subside, you take another sip of your coffee, no longer warm in your hands.

Jimin lets out a small hum before nodding in agreement. “I think so too.” He takes a drink too.

Apparently being face to face again was too much for the both of you, it's just far too easy to slip into your hurt when you're looking into each other's eyes.

—

The last time the two of you had spoken to each other it had went much better.

It was just nearing eight when your phone started ringing.

You weren't proud to say that you were completely startled by the sudden phone call, the hand that had been idly stroking through Jungkook's hair had unintentionally tightened. He had fallen asleep with his head in your lap about an hour ago.

He had shown up on your doorstep looking so completely physically and mentally exhausted that you couldn't stop yourself from taking care of him. You force-fed him an early dinner, entirely certain that he'd forgotten to eat. You were far too familiar with how he gets when he gets caught up in work, he forgets about everything else but what he's presently doing.

And after you stuffed him with food and water you had forced him to lay down on your couch and turned on the TV to keep him (however shortly) preoccupied.

He had barely made it through half an episode of Detective Conan before he drifted off, head in your lap and when the episode ended you didn't start the next, the room just full of the sounds of him breathing and his soft snores.

So, when you were watching a TikTok with the volume turned almost completely down you were more than a little thrown off when your phone started ringing.

It's not very common for anyone to call you. Most of your friends hell, even your boss, preferred to send you a text.

The usual culprits for unexpected phone calls were usually two suspects; the first being the man currently sleeping in your arms, 'I just don't like texting,' 'I want to hear your voice,' 'It's just faster to call' were his frequent responses when you'd complain about it.

Suspect number two are your parents but you had spoken to your mother earlier on in the week; “Bubs, your dad and I were talking and we think that you should” — the nearly two-hour long phone call where she offered her thought on every single decision you've made in your adult life should tide her over until the next holiday. It's far too soon for her to be calling again.

'Park Jimin' taunts you from the top of the screen, the name sitting right next to the accept and decline buttons.

It wasn't the first time the two of you had spoken to each other since Jungkook and Namjoon's joint birthday dinner, the two of you had exchanged a few texts here and there and a phone call or two that lasted far longer than it necessarily needed to.

You hadn't told Jungkook.

Well, you hadn't told anyone really, but not telling Jungkook specifically made you feel guilty in a way you really couldn't explain.

“Hello?” You say hesitantly, finally answering the phone after the fifth or sixth ring, you're speaking quietly, trying not to disturb the man sleeping on your lap.

“Hi,” The familiar voice comes from the other end of the line and you find yourself smiling in response, your body relaxing back against the couch.

“Hi.” You say instantaneously, a part of you is just happy to be hearing his voice again. Still so shocked that he's a part of your life again, no matter how small.

He laughs and your chest feels warm, “We already said that.”

“Right,” Your cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling and you bring your palm up to your face to press against them, Jungkook makes a noise of protest at the sudden lack of your touch.

“This a bad time?” Jimin asks hesitantly, clearly hearing his whines.

“No,” You deny quickly, returning your hand back to where it was, once again raking your fingers through his hair. He lets out a content sigh, shuffling to make himself more comfortable in your lap, face now pressed into your stomach, and his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, “It was just Jungkook,” You say, and then you add, “He's sleeping.”

“Ah.” Jimin's response, or rather lack of response is telling, like he wants to say so much but he doesn't feel like you're at a point in your relationship again where he can say what he wants to say. This feels so strange because there used to be a time when he didn't have to say anything for you to hear every single thing that he was saying, that he could get his point across with just a look when you could hear his thoughts before he could even think them.

“How was work?” You ask, changing the subject, he won't talk about Jungkook if you don't start that conversation, and you don't think you're ready for it yet. You've never been one for small talk, but you're still a little off balance with navigating your new tentative friendship, “I'm assuming you're just getting off.”

“Mmm-hmm,” He confirms, “Kind of. Doctor Min got called into an emergency procedure,” Doctor Min is the owner of the building his boss, Doctor Shinn, runs his practice in, “And after I finished seeing all of my patients for the day, I went over to their side of the office and ended up getting caught in a conversation with him that lasted an hour. I swear that man has no sense of work-life balance.”

It turns into a rant that goes on and on but you listen attentively, responding where it feels necessary and keeping quiet when it doesn't. It's not long before you've moved on from his day at work to him asking what you've been up to this week, and then talking about what's been going on with him lately. You discuss how your parents are doing, what his parents have been up to, and everything else you could possibly think of — steering clear of one topic in particular, an obvious gap in your conversation as you avoid mentioning the one person you seem to be spending the most time with recently.

You're on the phone far longer than you need to be and before you know it, it’s nearing midnight and you've talked enough that you know your throat will be a little sore tomorrow, voice a little hoarse.

Jungkook remained asleep. Laying peacefully in your arms the whole time, and for some reason you had a knot forming in your stomach when you finally told Jimin goodbye and looked down at him, so comfortable there with you like it's the only place he should be.

–

You stare at the notifications on your home screen, nearly 50 missed calls, and an insane amount of text messages, all from Jungkook, HeeWon, and … Namjoon?

You click his name first, two messages as opposed to the massive amount from the other two, it felt far less daunting.

Namjoon

Sorry! I shouldn't have called Jungkook, I didn't know you two were fighting. He let me know that you got home safe with HeeWon, glad you're okay.

Namjoon Sorry again!

What the fuck?

Why does he think that you're with HeeWon? And how does he know that you and Jungkook are fighting? Is that even the right word for it, is it really fighting if you're not even talking to each other? It seems more like an impasse than anything else.

You close out of the conversation and immediately move on to your chat with Jungkook.

Jeon 🐰 [3:23 AM] Where are you?

Jeon 🐰 ?????

Jeon 🐰 Bubs

Jeon 🐰 This isn't fucking funny where are you?

Jeon 🐰 Y/N

Jeon 🐰 Pick up your phone

Jeon 🐰 Y/N

Jeon 🐰 Where the fuck are you?

Jeon 🐰 Baby, please just answer your phone.

Jeon 🐰 Hyung said he left you in his room drunk and crying and then you vanished by the time he came back.

Jeon 🐰 Please just answer so I know you're okay.

Jeon 🐰 [10:25 AM] I'm on my way to HeeWon's.

Oh shit, you open the messages from HeeWon, silently praying to every god you could think of that he hadn't made it to her place yet; that he wouldn't find out that you're not there, that you never were.

HeeWon [5:25 AM] I lied for you. You're lucky I still have your current so I know that you're okay.

HeeWon JK was freaking the fuck out.

HeeWon He deserves an apology when you're awake and sober.

HeeWon And don't think you're getting out of telling me why the fuck you're at Jimin's.

HeeWon [10:50 am] Oh fuck.

Hewon Oh fuck.

HeeWon You're fucked.

HeeWon Fucking fuck fuck fuck.

You look up at the time, 11:06. Fuck indeed. Jungkook could be here genuinely any minute, you're not really sure how far away Jimin's place is from HeeWon's but you do know you're far too hungover for whatever fight that will be coming out of this.

“Fuck.” You whine, throwing your phone down on the counter, it's quickly followed by your head, the cool marble feeling pleasant against your throbbing head.

“Everything okay?”

“Jungkook's on the way.” Your words come out muffled, “Fucking fuck fuck fuck.”

“Oh?” Jimin asks confused, “And why's that a problem?”

You sit up and glare at him, “I didn't tell him that we've been, I don't know, talking.”

“Oh?” He sounds shocked, and oddly enough, a little pleased.

“It's not a big deal, I just,” You sigh, “I didn't want him to overreact and take it the wrong way. It's not like we're doing anything, but I just, you know how he is.”

He nods, knowing fully the level of jealousy that Jeon Jungkook is capable of possessing. But still, “I mean I don't think it should be a big deal-”

“He told me he loves me,” You cut him off.

Jimin chokes on air, “Holy shit,” he wheezes, aggressively patting against his chest to get his airflow to work properly again.

“Holy shit.” He says with feeling when he can finally breathe again.

“I know,” You whine, dropping your head back against the counter, “I don't know what to do, he tried to take it back and we've just been acting like everything is normal and then we had a stupid fight and I just, I haven't really seen him since and I don't know what to do. Everything sucks.”

“Holy shit,” Jimin says again, a near-delirious smile on his face as a choked laugh leaves his mouth.

“Can you say anything fucking else?”

“No, it's just-” He lets out a choked laugh again, “I mean, holy shit, I can't believe he finally told you.”

You look up at him in shock, “Park Jimin, what the fuck do you mean finally?”

He looks panicked now, scared that you'll jump across the table and forcibly get the answers out of him. He gives you an awkward shrug like that's somehow an answer enough.

Before you could yell at him, demand an explanation for the bullshit that just came out of his mouth your phone starts ringing.

It's like a scene in a horror movie the way that such a simple thing could scare you.

You stare at the screen, a look of absolute terror on your face, your eyes go from the phone, then to Jimin, and then back to the phone again.

“If you're not gonna answer it, then I will,” Your ex-husband says, reaching out for the phone.

You slap his hand away, “Absolutely not! I'm not ready yet, don't answer it.”

You give him an 'Are you insane?' look. He reaches for the phone again and you stand trying to push him away, keeping space between the phone and him. The two of you fight for the phone, and when Jimin finally gets it in his hands and holds it out of your reach, he goes to answer, and … it stops ringing.

You let out a sigh of relief, “Thank fuck.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, like divine punishment the phone starts ringing again. Jimin answers it immediately, “Hi Googie.” His voice bright, an eye-crinkled smile on his face.

You can't hear the other side of the conversation, but you can't imagine it's too kind the way his smile slowly starts to drop, expression slowly becoming more serious, ”Hmm, yeah, she's right here. You want to talk to her?”

You shake your head aggressively, no, he doesn't want to talk to you. You can't face him right now.

He ignores your protests and puts the phone in your hand, and then he gives you a small smile and leaves the kitchen.

The phone sits in your hand for a moment, you're too scared to make any sudden movements like it could physically hurt you.

“Hello.” You say after a moment, finally bringing it up to your ear.

“I'm here.” Is all you get in response before the line goes dead, he sounded pissed.

—

It feels far too much like a walk of shame as you make your way to his Benz, hair a mess, wearing last night's clothes and make up.

You don't say anything as you get into the car and he doesn't say anything either. He just waits for you to fasten your seatbelt and takes off. The playlist he'd been listening to carried on where it left off. You're familiar with this playlist, the one he'd made just for you. Saved on Spotify titled "Bubs 🌷" full of all the songs that he'd heard that made him think of you and the ones you'd constantly walk around singing.

It's nearing the end of the playlist, Zion T's No Make Up is playing, and you know it'll be followed by Sour Grapes by Le Sserafim, then Good Looking by Suki Waterhouse, and start right back at the beginning with Rhinestone Eyes by Gorillaz.

“Where are we going?” He asks, finally breaking the silence between you two, the beginning notes of Sour Grapes now playing.

You chew on the inside of your cheek, not sure how to answer. He had said where are we going, not where am I dropping you off, so the two of you would be together whether you wanted it or not. It looks like time was up and the two of you were having that conversation whether you were ready or not.

“Your place,” You finally answer during the chorus, it'd be that easier that way. When things go south, you'd at least be able to leave.

“Okay.” He nods, eyes not leaving the road. It's so unlike him it makes you feel sick, you're used to constantly reminding him to keep his eyes on the road, he was always too preoccupied with stealing glances at you.

Good Looking is just starting to play when you finally rack up the courage to speak again, “I,” You clear your throat, “Jimin and I have—”

“No.” His voice is harsh when he cuts you off, eyes still not leaving the road, “We can talk when we get home.”

You watch his jaw clench, your throat feels tight, and your eyes burn as you say “Okay”

You're silent again, staring out the window and watching the cars pass by.

When Good Looking fades out, it's not Rhinestone Eyes that starts playing but something else — it's not a song you've heard before a slow melody playing through his car's speakers.

If it was any other time, he'd be excited to tell you about the new song, and why it made him think of you and why he's certain you'd love it.

But all you can do is sit silently and listen, the distance between the two of you feeling insurmountable.

“I can't be your love, Look, it's too trivial for you now,”

Oh.

Oh.

Your breath hitches in your throat, your eyes shifting to Jungkook again who just stares ahead at the road. You try to stop listening to the words, trying to find something to distract you but it's like you can't do anything else.

“I can't be your love, Cause I'm afraid, I'll ruin your life, hmmm.”

The song plays on, a heavy weight settling in your chest, it's like it's been there for days but suddenly it's much larger than it was before. You inhale deeply, trying to force the weight away, and when you exhale tears start to trickle down your face.

“But I'll, pray for you all the time.

If I could be by your side. I'll give you all my life, my seasons.”

You're crying before you're even aware it, full body tremors as you gasp for breath, “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.”

Despite the absolute surety you had that everything would be blowing up in your face as soon as you had gotten to his place. That as soon as you had gotten through the door the screaming would start, and you'd be right in the middle of the fight. You've been preparing for it, body tense and fist clenched.

But that's not what happens, you get through the door, and when you turn to face Jungkook, waiting for him to let out all his hurt and anger again. You'd made up countless scenarios about how this would go on the drive here, but none of them happen.

Because as soon as the door is closed behind him, he walks up to you and wraps you up in his arms. Hugging you tightly to himself like he's afraid if he lets go you'll disappear. It's like the rug has been pulled right from under your feet, you're not sure what to do or what to say.

“You're,” You swallow down the lump in your throat, tears threatening to spill over once again, “You're not mad at me?”

“Oh, I'm so fucking mad at you, I've never been this mad in my life,” He breathes out, the tone of his voice and his actions not at all matching the words he's saying, “I was so worried, baby, what the fuck were you thinking?”

He drops his forehead until it's resting on top of your head, “You're such an idiot, I was so fucking scared, no one knew where you went and you wouldn't answer your phone, and wish, you were with Jimin? Of all people? Of course, I'm mad.”

He lets out a breathless chuckle, when he finally pulls back from the hug to look down at you, “You look a mess, let's take a bath?”

You find yourself nodding along without much thought, still feeling entirely uncertain about everything.

—

The bath was a good idea, you could feel your tension melt away with the warm water. Back resting against his chest, and not looking him in face seemed like an easier option to starting the conversation.

“Jimin and I,” You clear your throat, “we've been talking for a while, well ever since birthday dinner.”

You can feel Jungkook nod more than anything else, he places a kiss to your shoulder, “I'm not sure why I didn't tell you, it just, it felt weird. And then the longer I went without telling you the more I just felt like I shouldn't. It just felt like it would turn into this massive fight and I didn't want to ever bring it up because it wasn't a big deal, it's not like we're getting back together we were just talking, trying to be friends again because all of my friends are his friends and it just it made more sense. That's, kind of what we talked about that night.”

The words are slow to leave, but once they start it's hard to stop them, everything you've been wanting to say starts tumbling out, one word right after the other.

“Oh?” He sounds too casual like he wasn't haunted by imagining what the two of you had been talking about that night like he didn't live in a state of fear that he'd wake up one day and you'd tell him that you and Jimin are getting back together and his limited time with you has run up.

You nod, relaxing more of your weight against him, you close your eyes and let the whole story come out;

“Can we talk?” Jimin asks.

You nod, and both head out the side door to talk outside.

You're silent for a moment, just listening to the sounds of the city around you, neither of you sure how to start the conversation.

“How have you been?” You ask, faux-casually, at the same time Jimin's face breaks into a shit-eating grin, “Baby, huh?”

You groan, throwing your head back, “Oh my god, that was so embarrassing.”

“Did you just ask me how I've been?” He laughs, sounding near hysterics, “You hate small talk.”

“Well, what else do you say to your ex-husband you're seeing for the first time in 8 months, Jimin, there's not like there's a manual on this.”

“I mean, we can start with why your best friend is calling you baby,” He teases again, the overwhelming urge to tease Jungkook outweighing anything else at the moment.

Jungkook groans from behind you, throwing his head back dramatically against the tub, “It wasn't that funny, everyone was giving me shit for days,”

Now that you were no longer in the moment you could admit it was actually pretty funny, “You looked like a deer in the headlights.” You say between giggles.

“I can't believe you had me so anxious over this mysterious conversation that you come back crying from and he was just teasing me the whole time,”

“He wasn't teasing you the whole time,” you defend.

“Y'know, I used to be jealous of you and Googie,” Jimin admits

“What?” You ask sounding incredulous.

He nods his affirmation, kicking a rock beneath his shoes, “I hated that it felt like you were closer to him than to me, sometimes it felt like he was the one that was more important to you than me. But, I just had to remind myself that you loved me, differently than you love him.”

You noticed that he said loved, as in the past tense. Like you'd ever stop loving him, like there wouldn't always be a part of you that loved Park Jimin, that he wasn't etched into your very being. Maybe you weren't madly in love with him the way you used to but that love never went away, just shifted into something else.

“Then I realized he's your Taehyung.”

“What?” Jungkook asks surprised.

“What?” You ask, completely taken by surprise.

He nods, “That's what I kept telling myself at least.”

You nod along like his words make sense and the more that you thought about it, they sort of did, Taehyung was his other half, the missing piece of his soul. His very best friend until the end of time, so if he needed to tell himself that's what Jungkook is to you then so be it.

You nod one more time in finality, getting where his thoughts lie, and because the thought occurs to you and you're physically incapable of stopping the words before they leave your mouth, “You're fucking Taehyung?”

Jimin chokes on air —

Jungkook bursts in laughter behind you, his whole body shaking with it. You can't help but smile, you're not sure when the last time you heard him laugh that hard was.

“No!” He says sounding completely shocked, “You're fucking Jungkook?”

Your hand goes up to your mouth in shock, you can't believe you just walked yourself right into that corner.

You nod as he stares at you baffled, “Fuck.” He says empathetically.

Jungkook's laughing so hard now there's barely any sound coming out.

“I can't believe you're fucking Jungkookie.” He's staring at you bewildered, "I just thought — huh.”

You shift your weight from feet to feet, turning your eyes away from him, trying to displace all the forming tension. Your body was aflame in embarrassment.

“Wow, okay. Right,” Jimin says, sounding like he's still trying to process the new information.

You give him a sheepish smile when your eyes meet again, “I mean, we're not, together. It, just, I want a baby.”

He makes an a-ha noise like everything just clicked into place in his head, “The five-year plan.”

“The five-year plan.” You confirm.

He nods, seeming to have an understanding now, “He's a good option for that, I mean, kind of surprised you didn't ask Namjo-”

“He didn't say that,” Jungkook says huffily from behind you.

“Okay, he didn't say that,” You agree easily. (He absolutely did say that.)

“Do you think we can be friends again?” You say suddenly, surprisingly enjoying the familiar bickering between the two of you, “I mean are we just going to keep avoiding our friends in the hopes that we don't see each other – because tonight made me realize how much I missed them and I don't want to keep doing that. I don't want to be afraid that you'll show up, I want to be okay with seeing you, I want you to be in my life again. It feels like there's this hole, and it's just getting bigger the longer that you're gone, and I thought grief was supposed to work the opposite way, that it gets smaller or you get larger and you stop noticing it but I never stop noticing it and it just- it just fucking sucks. I'm constantly missing you, like a fucking limb. And I just keep going on pretending that I don't, that I'm okay because I should be okay by now, we weren't even really together for the last little while but I don't know I still had you in my life then and I just I try not to be upset about it because I shouldn't be. I just, I want you in my life again, I fucking hate this.”

“Me too.” He agrees easily.

—

You stay in the bath until it gets cold, telling Jungkook every single word that you shared that night, and everything else that happened between the two of you since.

And when you get out he dresses you in the comfiest clothes he could find, dries your hair, and gently holds your face in his hands, placing a gentle kiss on your lips. Like he's trying to prolong this moment, knowing entirely well what is coming next.

“You've been a bit of an asshole recently,” He admits when the two of you are laying together on his bed, face to face. You nod your agreement, there's no denying it.

“I'm sorry,” You admit softly.

He smiles reaching out to hold your face in his hands, tracing gentle shapes against your cheeks with his thumbs, “I've heard more apologies from you today, than in the whole time I’ve known you, you must really be sorry.”

“Because I am,” You insist, “I really fucked up, and I need to fix this. I don't want us to hate each other, I don't want us to end up-”

Your breath hitches in your throat, not quite meaning to say that.

“Like you and Jimin?” Jungkook prods, finishing the sentence for you, lifting your face to make you meet his eyes again.

You nod, pursing your lips to stop the incoming tears.

“We won't,” He promises.

You nod again, “We won't,” You agree, “I won't let us. We need to fix this before it's too late. I think we need to just, start over. Try again.”

He gives you a sad smile when your next words come, “We need to tear everything down and just, start anew.”

“Why does it feel like your breaking up with me?” He halfheartedly jokes, thumb rubbing softly on your cheek.

“I think I am.” You whisper back, tears finally starting to fall.

“Okay.” He lets out a breathless laugh, this time he doesn't bother to hide the tears that start to fall.

“Okay?” You ask, once again surprised. He's being so unlike himself, every time you'd argue he's just bitten his tongue and let you get your way.

“Mhm,” He affirms, “We're definitely going to fight about this later, and I'm gonna tell you all the reasons why it's a stupid idea and you're going to tell me all the reasons why you think we need to and we're going to say things neither of us mean and it's going to hurt, but right now I just want to have this moment. Where everything is okay, and if it's going to be the last good moment for awhile, I want to enjoy it. I just want tonight, okay?”

“Okay.”

— update schedule will be posted soon, i have decided that i'm expediting my posting schedule to be done with this series sooner, and i will be back with what that timeline looks like when i have it figured out.

Ryen!!!!

Ahhh my poor heart…this is so what they’d do.😫

Love how she felt scare that he didn’t want to do it but behold he never falters to amaze us!

And then to this will be the first we post. 🥹😫😭

His end goal is to be together without hiding.

@kithtaehyung

drabble: first one pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) rating/genre: pg ; fluff ; three tangerines au note: uhh. surprise and happy holidays LOL. based on this ig reel sent in the discord multiple times, this little slice is gonna kickstart the "3tan does sm" mini series! basically this little ongoing collection will have all the drabbles/requests based on social media things y'all send in. if it inspires me, i'll make a drabble or something out of it hehehe. enjoy! warnings: nothing big. just 3tan yoongi lol links: three tangerines mlist ; masterlist drop date: december 28, 2023, 7:07pm est word count: 1.1k

-

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In the middle of winter, you decide that tonight is the perfect time to try something new. 

Which leaves Yoongi confused as hell because this attempt requires him to be outside in the freeze, when the two of you were just bundled up in blankets and watching a movie minutes ago. 

But he can scold your lack of attention span and tendency to watch videos during long movies later. 

“What am I doing?” 

Placing him on one spot of the sidewalk just outside his apartment, you urge, “Just, hold on. Stay right there.” 

“Huh?” 

Giggling, you give no other instructions, instead rushing forward to bring your phone to a nearby bench. When you set it down to see what the camera catches, you determine that you look fine enough, so you tell Yoongi—who is simply standing there and still looking devastatingly handsome—what you wanna do. “Okay, pull up the video I sent you.” 

“Shouldn’t we go back inside?” 

“Yes, yes, after this.” 

When you walk up, he pulls up the link, and you both watch as people run to their partners and rush them out of frame, spinning them around or chasing them away. 

Ever consistent, Yoongi is both unfazed and wondering what goes on. “What’s the goal of this again?” 

Shrugging, you’re just happy he’s not tugging you back indoors yet. “I don’t really know, but. I just wanna see how you do it.” 

“Mm…” He looks one more time, cementing his answer with the way he smushes his lips. “Fine.” 

“You’ll do it?” 

“Uh huh. But this is just for you.” 

Right. Because of course this can't be seen anywhere else. Your smile is rueful with a tinge of holiday hope, “I know.” 

And Yoongi’s expression carries the same weight. 

Maybe one day this conversation will be a lot different. Just like the way your quick stay at his place while your brother is at a work dinner will prove a lot longer of a night. One day. 

Maybe.

Cheering yourself up, you practically bounce back to where the bench is, slipping a bit with a tiny “whoops” before reaching out to press record. Backing up onto the sidewalk, you throw up peace signs, poses, do a few different filler moves until Yoongi does his part. 

But nothing happens. 

And no one appears by your side. 

So you turn to see if he actually left but goddamn it is he recording you? “What the!” 

Yoongi just laughs as you kick your head back in laughter, and stops holding his phone up. “So cute.” 

Damn it, he can’t give you this fluttering feeling while being annoying! “Focus!” 

Groaning, you turn your recording off and then back on again, repeating some of the same things for the camera and shuffling a little in place to warm up. Because it is freezing and this idea could have waited another season or two. 

And when you look to the side after a pause, Yoongi is recording again. 

You bend forward to shield from the chill, your yell echoing throughout the small little courtyard, “Yoongi!” Does he have to keep grinning like that? There’s no time for prolonging this even more! “I cannot with you right now.” 

After another attractive huff of amusement, he keeps going, “I can’t help it! You’re being adorable.” 

Well. At least Yoongi’s having his fun. If anything, he’s stalling because he doesn’t wanna do whatever challenge this is. So you can drop it. “Ugh… Never mind, we can go inside.” 

After grabbing your phone, you walk up to him again before he stops you. And you think it’s because you were about to slip once more, but his low tone gets you to see his face under those locks. 

“Nah, we can do it.” When you give him a pouting frown, his teeth shine. “Serious!” 

Easily placated, you’re back to grinning. “Okay, for real this time! It’s cold!” 

“I know! You didn’t even let me get my beanie!” 

Laughing out your guilt, you warn him over your shoulder, “If you run into me, you better not knock me over.” 

“I won’t, doll.” 

“Okay!” Placing your phone down for hopefully the last time, you hit record, seeing yourself sigh before gingerly walking back to the sidewalk. 

In hindsight, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to try and get Yoongi to do this. It’s colder than hell’s deepest frost at this point, and some snow is still falling from darkened skies. 

But all the little reactions in the videos looked too cute, and you are genuinely curious to see what he’s gonna do. So even through your poses, you brace yourself. Is he gonna run in for a hug? Is he gonna rush you off with a big warm embrace? 

…Is he really not gonna do anything?

Feeling a little bad, you drop the cute poses and turn. 

Only to feel him right at your side, gathering you with a soft, strong arm and leading you down the sidewalk. 

Well, damn.

The gesture is so him that, for a second, you genuinely think that he saw something and led you out of harm’s way on instinct. But as you look around, you don’t see anyone else in the wintry courtyard besides the two of you. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Your vision flicks away from the lighted trees dotting the area. “Oh, nothing, I was just…” 

“Wanna run it back? If we do let’s go somewhere else. It’s icy right there.” 

Blinking, you see his eyes full of pure curiosity and attentiveness. 

And suddenly you wanna go back inside for a completely different reason other than warmth. 

“That felt perfect,” you whisper, eyes lowering to his ever inviting lips. “Lemme check it.” 

Leaving his cozy side, you go back and retrieve your chilly phone, stopping the recording that you are relieved you successfully started. Both you and Yoongi watch as you play the full thing, and after he leads you out of frame, your jaw drops. 

“Oh, my god. This beats all the ones I’ve seen.” 

“Really?” 

“Damn… Now I’m actually sad I can’t post this.” When you laugh, it’s not all joyful. Turning to him, you pretend to be mad. “Why are you so cool?” 

Huffing small, Yoongi looks up and around you before giving your cheek a kiss, and your knees weaken at how tender it is. “Send it to me,” he murmurs. 

“You want it, too?” 

“Mm.” 

“Okay.” 

“Just a little longer, babe.” He gives you another peck on your very cold nose. Then both cheeks. And your forehead. 

All while you’re out in the open where anyone could witness. 

Just his willingness to amuse you was already perfect. Yoongi didn’t need to do any of that, and he certainly didn’t need to be so charming with his stylistic choice. But he did it all anyway while freezing his pretty ass off.

And his next words make your chest yearn to stay with him—for every holiday season and silly trend that comes around. 

“Then this’ll be the first one of us we post.”

-

-

fin. :)

-

🌨️ what do we feel! i needed this little drabble :')) 🌨️

a/n: did i mean for this to be a full blown drabble? no! was this the video that bo originally sent me that i flailed over? no! but it's the reel i saw and apparently had been sent in the server multiple times. so here we are with a surprise hahaha.

enjoy your holidays, everyone! and if you have anything social media related that 3tan reminds you of - or you can see the 3tan crew doing - send them in and maybe i'll get inspired again. :D this didn't take me long at all and i wanted to do it, so no worries about extra work!

a/n 2: 3tan12 is going strong alongside the holiday fics! should be posting teasers and taglists for those, too. very very excited for all of them mwahaha

🌨️ links: three tangerines mlist ; masterlist

Not ready, but will power on through. 🥹🥲

@kithtaehyung

[ 3tan12 ] :’))

—

—

—

a/n: keep in mind this date is tentative but i’m at a good spot where i feel comfortable picking🥳 barring any major events or projects, we should be able to hit it. gonna be crunch time these next couple weeks. pls give me strength!

ARE WE READY??

The tension!!

Every time we get that necktie scene I wonder who’s going to give in first?!?! 😫👀

But ugh—of course that women would try to be make her uncomfortable.

I wonder if he’s truly is starting to feel that guilt because she’s trying to accommodate to how he works—seeing as now she’s got her own transportation and was able to eat. 🥹

Not the shock that he can actually cook!

Then that fitting—Tae and Jin know what’s going on in JKs head! He is attracted to her!! ( THEY KNOW!)

But geez—I would’ve folded with that intense eye contact. And who the hell does that man think he is?!?! Claiming I’m his girl?!?!?!

If you’re not daddy JK I don’t want you. 😒

( other than Yoongi 💖)

Just utterly amazing.

@ahundredtimesover

I Want You to Stay (03) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 14.8k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.

Playlist 🎶: on the way home

A/N: I've been thoroughly enjoying your asks and replies about this story (sorry I can’t get to each one!) I see that a lot can relate to what OC's going through and I'm sending you hugs! 🤗 Again, I appreciate your love and excitement. And uh... Golden JK in that white tank. YUP. 🤭 Hoping you enjoy this one!

And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight  🥰

PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!

The spring in your step tightens the closer you get to Jungkook’s penthouse the next Monday. Walking here to start another week, there’s a mix of emotions you’re carrying with you. 

You got to spend a proper weekend. On Friday, you made yourself some cold noodles and then watched a movie with Jimin and Soomin on video call, who’d said they’ll be visiting you in a week. You took the train to Daegu on Saturday, went to the park, then stayed in to enjoy Min-woo’s cooking and the girls’ stories about school and their youth clubs. You then buried yourself in your mother’s embrace as you told her about your week. You didn’t want to say too much, not wanting her to worry that her daughter isn’t being treated well at her job, but you suppose you said enough. 

“I wish I was strong enough to protect you from everything,” she’d told you softly. “All I can do is just give you hugs and say words of encouragement that might not even mean much.”

“And you still are, mom. I look forward to being with you because of those hugs. But more than that, you were strong enough to protect me from the bad guys,” you’d assured her. “Jungkook is many things but he’s not a terrible person. I can handle him.”

And you meant it. He may be hot-tempered sometimes but he’s not evil. But just because he made you go home early last Friday, it also doesn’t mean he’s suddenly redeemed in your mind. Sure, he didn’t email you at all over the weekend unlike last time, but he also still didn’t apologize to you nor show remorse. 

Perhaps that small nod after he called you telling you that you could go home was his way of saying sorry, or maybe it just isn’t in his vocabulary. You wonder if Hoseok had told him off but even then, it’s a pretty quick change, if you could call it that. 

Regardless, you felt like a human being again these past few days; you just wish Jungkook woke up on the right side of the bed this morning and doesn’t find a reason to complain about you. 

Unlocking the door, you’re surprised to hear silence - there are no grunts and deep breaths nor the sound of leather hitting leather from his morning workout. You scan the floor before walking around - a habit you’ve developed after finding that laced underwear last week - and then peep into the door on the right, only to find untouched equipment and no other traces of him. 

You’re in the living room when you hear another door close, prompting you to turn around and see a woman appearing from the hallway on the other side of the penthouse. Her hair’s a bit disheveled and she’s wearing one of Jungkook’s coats that you saw in his closet. 

“Uh, who are you?” The woman scoffs, her arms crossed and eyebrows raised now. 

Taken aback, you just stare at her, until you realize she’s not wearing anything underneath so you look away.

You try to make sense of who she is and how you could get out of this situation. You know for a fact that Jungkook doesn’t have a girlfriend, at least that’s what Lucas had told you, but who knows what Jungkook’s been up to since he got back? There was that red laced underwear from last week after all. Maybe he does sleep around like what Do-hyun said. Maybe this woman just doesn’t know Jungkook has a female assistant. Maybe he’s—

“Hey, I’m talking to you,” she says, sounding more annoyed now. 

“Oh. Uh, I’m Mr. Jeon’s—”

“She’s my assistant,” Jungkook answers, catching you off guard, given that you hadn’t noticed him walk in. 

He’s not in his usual workout attire, although him in a white tank top and gray sweatpants with mussed hair somehow seems more overwhelming than him in nothing but gym shorts. You glance at him as he stands next to the woman, whose face suddenly lights up. Not wanting to look at her, you shift your gaze towards the ceiling, trying hard not to look awkward as you’re rooted in place. 

The woman looks at you from head to toe and you feel her judging you, assessing you, while Jungkook stands there, yawning and combing his hair with his fingers.

“Just your assistant?” She asks, sounding incredulous. 

“Yeah. What else would she be?” Jungkook answers nonchalantly. Looking at you, he nods ever so slightly that you almost miss it, another hint of acknowledgement you’d seen last Friday. “Just eggs on toast. And coffee.”

“Yes, Mr. Jeon,” you say, exhaling the breath you were holding and then walking to the kitchen to start on his breakfast. 

“I don’t know, another one of your girls? I see you with a new one every time,” she huffs, sounding bitter, but Jungkook doesn’t sound amused.

“What are you still doing here?” He asks, walking to where you are then taking the glass of water you prepare for him. “I called a service for you last night.”

“I was too tired,” she says, and you don’t miss the sultry tone of her voice now. “You tired me out, Jungkook. I could barely get off the bed.”

“And why are you still here?” He asks, clearly not having it with her teasing. 

“Because I’m still tired,” she smirks, having followed him to the kitchen. 

You feel tense once more; you definitely don’t want to be part of this conversation in any way nor be privy to it, especially given what obviously happened between them last night. And especially not with Jungkook looking and sounding the way he does this early Monday morning.

“And I was thirsty,” she continues. 

He sets his glass down and opens the refrigerator and takes out a bottle of water that he hands over to her. 

“Ugh, how romantic,” she rolls her eyes, finishing it in a few gulps. 

“I have to go to work,” he tells her, frustrated that she’s being stubborn about not leaving when he no longer seems to want her around. 

“Actual work, or, you know, work?” She says, gesturing towards you.

You make the mistake of looking at her smug face, the insinuation not lost on you. It’s insane how she can just make claims like that, and you feel that just like you, Jungkook’s getting pissed.

“Can you just leave?” He says much more sternly now. “I can’t start my day with you still here.”

“Ooh, how rude,” she giggles. “Should’ve expected you’d be like that even outside of bed. I like that.”

She walks back to the room, leaving you and Jungkook on your own. You continue to work on his eggs while he stands by the counter, rubbing his temples. You’re unsure if it’s because of her or from last night’s alcohol, but you get aspirin and also a bottle of energy drink and set them in front of him before returning to preparing his meal. 

The woman comes back shortly in last night’s attire then walks towards Jungkook.

“I’m leaving,” she announces, tilting his chin so he would face her. “I’ll see you again, yeah?”

Jungkook turns away and does not respond, leaving her to laugh as if there’s a joke that only she’s in on.

“Going all quiet on me now, huh?” She says. “You weren’t like that last night. I can still hear your moans, actually. Fuck, they sounded so good and so loud.”

You almost hit your finger as you slice the apple, clearly not expecting for this stranger to say something so intimate, knowing there’s another person in the room with them. You don’t know if she wants to intimidate you for whatever reason or maybe just make you feel uncomfortable. Whatever it is, it’s working, as you’re unable to focus on the task at hand now. 

Jungkook still doesn’t say anything, and it’s what prompts her to finally say goodbye. 

“Fine, I’ll leave now,” she whines. “But that was an amazing first time. I hope it won’t be the last.”

Her giggle annoys you for some reason, even more when you mistakenly look her way. Her smug face unnerves you as she holds your gaze while she says, “I’ll see you again, okay? I’ll make sure you’ll scream my name next time,” the words obviously directed at Jungkook. 

She finally exits the penthouse but she doesn’t take the tension with her because in this large apartment with you and him, you feel a little too hot, a little too alert, yet somehow a little too curious.

Jungkook groans now as he finishes his energy drink, and he doesn’t know what he’s more frustrated about - the fact that the woman whose name he doesn’t remember didn’t go home, or that you’d found out about it in the most embarrassing way and he’d done nothing to stop her attempts at making you feel uncomfortable because that’s definitely what she was doing. 

He doesn’t know how it affected you but even he can tell that it wouldn’t have been good. Not that he’s ashamed of his lifestyle but it’s different when you, of all people, get to see what that looks like. You did see the laced underwear on his kitchen floor last week, and he knows you definitely tried to pretend you hadn’t. Perhaps the image of arrogant, playboy Jungkook just solidified in your head and the fact that maybe that’s what you think of him is making him feel uneasy. 

Not that he cares about what you think - he definitely does not - but he just doesn’t want that to affect how you would treat him in a professional sense, as if he’s some reckless man who works too hard and parties much harder, even if that’s kind of what he does. 

The hangover doesn’t help at all; he shouldn’t have chugged that wine while the woman was giving him head, which was amazing, he reminds himself. He just knows he won’t be seeing her again after this morning because she’d been stubborn and shameless, and definitely not because of how she spoke to you and the insinuations she made.

“Mr. Jeon, your breakfast is ready,” you inform him, breaking him out of his thoughts. 

He takes a seat on the table and you sit next to him, taking out your iPad to start your rundown of last Friday’s meeting and this week’s schedule. 

“So—”

“Wait, give me a minute,” he stops you, and he realizes just how little sleep he actually got and he’s gonna have to push through today’s busy schedule despite feeling physically out of it. 

“Okay, sir,” you say softly.

He munches on his toast with his eyes closed, and when he opens them, his gaze falls on you, sitting upright on the chair looking clean and proper in your blush blouse and beige skirt. You seem to be reviewing the reports from last week, your eyebrows scrunched as you scribble on the screen. He knows you took the hours-long trip to and from Daegu over the weekend; the visit, just like any, must have been tiring. Yet you come to his place everyday without fail, ready to do what he needs you to do, and he doesn’t even know if you’ve had anything to eat yet. 

“Have you had breakfast?” He asks.

“E-excuse me?”

“Breakfast. Have you had it?”

“O-oh. Yes, I had some crackers and fruit on the way. I ate on the bus,” you respond.

He remembers your address from your staff profile. You live about 40 minutes from him, almost double if you commute. You come at 6:30 everyday, so he can only imagine what it’s like for you every morning. 

“Why don’t you drive?”

“I don’t have a car, sir.”

“Shouldn’t that be part of your contract? Or a benefit of some sort?”

“It isn’t. I believe only the CEO’s assistant does,” you respond. 

“Bitna has a company car.”

“Ms. Jung requested that when she was still President.”

“Then I’ll request one for you. It's… it’s too early. And you can’t always be assured of public transportation. There could be delays. Or an emergency that would require you to drive.”

Of course, he’d want you to get a car so that you’re more accessible to him. Just when you thought there’s actually a bit of his heart working this time, he reminds you why there isn’t.

“That’s true, but nothing has happened so far. And there are other options should there be,” you say. “I also don’t know how to drive so there is no need, Mr. Jeon. I leave my apartment early enough to make sure I get here on time, and I’ll let you know if I will be late.”

Jungkook just hums, even if there’s more he wants to know. What about late nights? What if there’s a storm? Well, he does know - he did see you miss out on taxis and then just walk last Tuesday; he wonders how you got home then, and how many hours of sleep you had after all that. 

He lets it go; it’s too early to think about this.

“Good. We can run through the minutes now,” he says.

So you do, stating the points and confirming your actions for each one and then noting down his as well. You try to focus, and you’re able to for the most part, but it’s not easy when he sits just a few feet away from you, with his bare arms propped on the table that’s just hard to look away from. 

You’ve always liked tattoos on other people, and the art on his right arm looks so delicate and personal; you wonder what someone like him would value enough to ink permanently on his skin. Even his untouched arm is mesmerizing, toned like every other part of him, with beauty marks that you spot as well. It doesn’t help that his slightly long hair keeps falling over his eyes, prompting him to comb them with his fingers every time. 

What also doesn’t help are the woman’s words from earlier, as she’d managed to make you think of Jungkook in a very different way, given her descriptions of how he’d been last night. You don’t know what she intended by doing that, but you didn’t miss her insinuations about your relations with him, which are definitely far from the truth. Learning that he’s rough and loud in bed is also knowledge that you could’ve done without. Somehow, he sounds like how he looks - expressive of negative emotions, and the type to drain the other person. 

He also sounds like the guys you’ve slept with.

The thought alarms you. These are things you shouldn’t be thinking about your boss, about the man who pays you, about the one who makes you miss meals and buses and who makes you angry because of how he treats you. 

You try to dispel these ideas by coughing - the loud sound helps, and you also want to distract yourself from how distracted you are at your task because somehow he keeps getting more and more attractive after every glance. 

He stands up, and just when you thought he’d be angry after your disruption, he surprises you by placing a glass of water in front of you.

“You can drink, you know? You can make yourself a cup of coffee. You can even cook yourself breakfast if it’s just crackers you eat in the morning,” he says. 

Yes, you think to yourself. You’ve been wanting to try his coffee because of the fancy machine but breakfast sounds… too domestic. 

“Thank you, but I’m okay. I mean, the snacks fill me up just fine.”

“It’s not proper breakfast, though,” he argues. 

“With all due respect, sir, eating takes time away from all the things I have to do. I manage just fine.”

Expecting an annoyed expression from him because you did just imply that you do too much, you instead see the tiniest hint of guilt on his face, as if he actually feels bad that you’re unable to take care of yourself because of him. 

“You’re not a servant, Ms. Cho. You’re not disallowed to do basic things just because of your job.”

“You have standards, Mr. Jeon,” you say, throwing his words back at him. You don’t expect to see his face fall a little, and you’re surprised that you seem to care. “I need to meet them, and I’m still familiarizing myself with how you want things done, and that takes time. I don’t mean to imply that you treat me like a servant because you don’t. I just… I want to be able to do things right and I’m still learning.”

The words hit Jungkook. He knows he’d been too critical during these first weeks, and that’s more because he’s unable to manage the initial attraction that he’s trying so hard to temper. He could’ve gone on correcting you constructively, with no need for harshness the way he did with Lucas when he started. 

You’ve also been doing this for a few years. You’ve been working for the VP’s office longer than he has - you know the people and the processes more, yet you’re the one claiming you need to learn and do things right. Even he thinks his father, whom he never thought was the best at looking out for his people, wouldn’t be angry at those below him for irrational reasons. Somehow he thinks he’s worse than his old man now. 

But the word sorry isn’t in his vocabulary. He’d rarely ever said it, and the only reason he’d heard it a lot growing up was because people caused his inconvenience, and not because they’d hurt his feelings. He doesn’t know what that’s like - forgiving and wanting to be forgiven. They’re foreign to him, but somehow those are what you’re making him want to know. 

“I—”

“Can we move on, Mr. Jeon?” You interrupt him. “You have a scheduled check-in with your father before the 8:30 team meeting.”

“Right, that’s today,” Jungkook says, letting go of any form of apology he could muster. 

He nods then stands up to head to his bathroom, and you follow shortly after to arrange his outfits for the week. You clean up in the kitchen after and wait for him to come out, with you reflexively walking up to him to fix his tie and make sure all the creases on his clothes are fixed. 

Jungkook tries to remain still as you, like everyday, make sure he looks proper. It always took him a long time to get ready because he used to do all this on his own, but with you taking on the unofficial stylist role - which he admits you do a great job at - he’s relieved of that added stress of looking the part of a Vice President. It just also means that every morning, he has to look unaffected as you stand close to him like this, with you tightening his tie and your fingers grazing his clothed chest.

You smell like roses. It feels warm and nostalgic, like it’s familiar but also something new. It’s refreshing on you, and it wafts through his nose and paralyzes him a little. He tries to hold his breath like always, only briefly glancing at your focused eyes as you make sure he looks impeccable. 

He’s caught off guard when you look up and meet his gaze. He doesn’t react, but he does linger and surprisingly, so do you. He wants to apologize but he doesn’t know how to. He just hopes you feel it somehow with how he looks at you; he’d like to think you do, as you gently bow and step back, taking your things to go down. 

You go through his schedule while in the car, noting his dinner meetings and that the food tasting for next month’s event with the art industry professionals that you’re both organizing has been moved to next week, freeing up his Thursday lunch hour.

“I’ll schedule my visit at Taehyung’s tailor shop that day then,” Jungkook states. “I’ll have a few suits done.”

“Noted, Mr. Jeon,” you reply, adjusting his calendar. 

He doesn’t say anything after. He takes his leather notebook and sketches like he often does, looking out his window only a few times as he’s engrossed in his drawings. Even with all that he is, you can’t deny Jungkook’s talent. You only know he took an architecture course but you don’t know if he actually practices it. 

You start to wonder if Jungkook wanted that to be his profession but couldn’t pursue it because he’s expected to manage the company with his cousin. You wonder if he’d always been into drawing and the arts, if it was an outlet the way reading picture books was for you; you’d wanted to become an illustrator but your mother couldn’t afford drawing classes and that profession just didn’t seem like it could sustain you financially. You wonder what Jungkook thinks when he sketches and what his subjects are, if he feels at peace the way he looks, if he hopes he could just spend his days doing this. 

The seeming warmth in your thoughts about this man concerns you, prompting you to turn away from his direction and stare out the window instead. You remind yourself that this is the same person who’d made the past two weeks miserable for you; he doesn’t deserve warmth from you in any form, even if, for the briefest moment earlier after you fixed his tie, that’s what you gave him. You learned that he’s quite mesmerizing when he doesn’t talk or when he isn’t scowling. You also learned you’re quite quick to fall into it when you let your guard down a little. 

You groan internally. There’s a lot you don’t know about him and you don’t really care to know more; what you know is enough to put you off anyway. And so these moments of weakness - of curiosity, of concern -  should not happen again. 

Except, they do happen, over an hour later after Jungkook returns to his room from his check-in with his father. He sits on his chair, his eyes closed and jaws clenched, unmoving for a good few minutes, and you watch from your seat, wondering what transpired that’s got him this disturbed. 

It happens again an hour later. He moved the team meeting to the afternoon and he’s now furiously typing on his desktop, making calls, sketching, making calls again, then sitting still with his eyes closed once more. Hoseok walks in, merely nodding at you, then enters the room and speaks with the younger man. Jungkook closes the blinds, and you’re left to wonder what’s going on behind closed doors and what’s got him angry and frustrated.

You take your chance at finding out when Hoseok emerges, asking him if everything’s okay, if Jungkook is okay.

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Hoseok says, a half smile on display, something you’re only a tad familiar with. “He’ll manage.”

He rushes out, saying he has a meeting to get to, and you nod, glancing at the closed door and blocked window, wondering what troubles Jungkook is handling on his own. If it’s personal, it’s clearly not your business. But if it’s work-related, then it is. You’re there to make things easier for him, after all. You also don’t want to be surprised and be bombarded by new tasks just in case, so it’s better to know if there’s something you can help in resolving things as well.

You walk in his room then place the ginger lemon tea on his desk, a common home remedy for hangovers, just in case last night’s events are still affecting him. You inform him that you’ve sent the reports already for his sign-off, and he responds that he’ll get to them tomorrow.

Glancing at his drink, he halts his typing to look at you. 

“Do I look hungover to you?” He asks pointedly.

It’s clearly not what you meant, but you suppose the insinuation isn’t what he needs right now. You want to be swallowed by the ground. He was already calm towards you, civil even, and now there’s another reason for him to be upset at you. You wanted to avoid any possibility of that as much as possible, and now you’re here, at the verge of being told off again, just because your stupid brain decided to care the tiniest bit.

“I, uh, no, Mr. Jeon,” you stutter. “I just…”

You don’t have a reason. Clearly, you can’t tell him that he hasn’t seemed okay all morning - whatever that means - and that just in case it’s last night’s alcohol affecting him, there’s a cure. You stare back at him with worry, but instead of challenging or questioning you, he just sits back with his eyes closed again and dismisses you. 

“You may leave,” he instructs. 

“What about lunch, sir?” You ask. 

You’d never cared before, why the change now? 

“I’m fine,” he responds. “Call me when the meeting’s about to start.”

Your stubborn self takes the box of biscuits from the coffee table and places it in front of him. You’re pushing it, you think, but there’s a meeting he’ll be leading and he can’t be unfocused; when he is, it’s all the worse for you. 

He doesn’t react and you walk out. When you enter an hour later to call him, you spot the empty cup and the crumbs on the saucer, and you can’t help the tiny smile that you make internally.

It’s short-lived though, as that whole afternoon, he acts unusually - he barely makes comments at updates, he doesn’t make eye contact, and doesn’t ask further questions. He just nods when you say you’re heading out at 6PM, giving you no added tasks to keep you from leaving.

You enter his penthouse the next morning to the banging of leather hitting leather, prompting you to jerk from the loud sounds. He’s grunting and panting heavily, and you just know that whatever it was that transpired yesterday, he’s releasing all his emotions right now, through this. 

He exits the gym and walks to the counter where you are, finishing the water you laid for him in three gulps. 

“Do you need that tended to?” You ask. 

He looks surprised. You gesture towards his hands and he looks at his bruised knuckles; he really let it all out this morning, it seems. 

“I’m fine,” he shrugs. 

You didn’t think those two words from him would ever make you feel discouraged, but one thing you’ve come to learn about Jungkook is that he easily expresses his anger and frustration towards other people. It’s when he keeps things in that they seem more serious, and you wonder what words he heard yesterday that might have made him this closed off, this quiet, this much more distant.

But fortunately, your feeling of worry fades with each day that passes, as he slowly returns to his normal self after - the focus, the perpetually serious look, the attention to detail, the sketching on his notebook. Perhaps Jungkook just needed a particular kind of release and he’s maybe handling things better now. 

For his sake and yours, you wish the issue has been resolved, otherwise another blow up might happen and that wouldn’t be good for your newfound dynamic that’s a lot more civil than anything. 

It’s Thursday when you get a call at 5 in the morning, just as you’ve woken up to get ready for work, and Mr. Ri’s voice greets you on the other end.

“Hi, ___. How are you this morning?”

“Hi, Mr. Ri,” you yawn, curious as to why he’s checking up on you this early. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” he hums. “I was instructed by Mr. Jeon to pick you up today.”

“Why would CEO Jeon ask that?” You wonder, as you sleepily walk to the bathroom to wash up.

“He didn’t. Jungkook did.”

You stop on your tracks. You don’t recall being informed about this, nor do you know of any particular reason why you should be at his place so soon.

“Oh, uhm, okay. I should be ready in–”

“I’ll be there in about 50 minutes,” Mr. Ri interjects. “Sleep in a bit more and have some breakfast. I’ll see you shortly.”

You try not to think about what prompted Jungkook to have you picked up, so you focus on getting ready and then whipping yourself some fried rice using the leftover seafood from last night. You won’t lie, it tastes delicious. It might be that you just haven’t had proper weekday breakfast in a while, but it could also be that you’re energized enough and not pressed for time that you’re able to make this as good as it is. 

You decide to bring some to Jungkook’s place just in case you get there late. Sure, Mr. Ri will be driving you, but you don’t know how the traffic is at this time, and this change in schedule is somewhat making you anxious. But then again, there’s always bread or cereal for him to eat; you just think that a little act of thanks wouldn’t be so bad.

Mr. Ri arrives exactly 50 minutes later and he assures you that he’ll get you to the penthouse in half an hour. You trust him of course; he’s been with the Jeons for decades and he knows these streets like the back of his hand. Seated in the passenger seat, you try to figure out what about today has got your boss a little kinder than usual. 

“I arrived five minutes late yesterday,” you wonder out loud. “Is that why? He has a meeting with a local artist in the morning and he doesn’t want me to be late. That should be it. Ugh, stupid,” you groan. “I should’ve taken the first bus I saw, but it was so full and–”

“___,” Mr. Ri stops you. “Five minutes isn’t much. Plus, you always arrive 10 minutes before 6:30 and then just wait at the lobby. I don’t know why you do, you could always just go up to the penthouse when you get there, you know?”

“No, I don’t. Mr. Jeon has boundaries and clearly likes keeping his distance. Going to his penthouse before I’m supposed to be there feels like I’m intruding,” you argue.

“You’re literally his assistant, and you go to his bedroom and his closet, fix his things, prepare his meals… there’s no intrusion happening,” Mr. Ri counters. “I know the man. He’ll probably just look at you curiously then go about his routine.”

“Well, since you know him so well, then why did he have me picked up this morning?”

There’s a brief silence before the man next to you responds.

“He did note that you were late for the first time, but that wasn’t his issue,” Mr. Ri says, appeasing you before you react negatively and think that your tardiness was a big deal. “He asked if I knew how you got to Hoseok’s place before and I said you would just take the bus; it was closer to your place so it was fine. They have someone to make his breakfast, too, so you didn’t need to come early; plus, you only went every Monday.”

“What a change, huh?” You attempt to poke fun at yourself and the new arrangement you’re in. 

Not that you’re complaining; you know of other executive assistants who do much more for their bosses and what you have with Jungkook isn’t even that bad. But it is quite the shift compared to what you did for Hoseok. You’ve figured out your own routine, though. And the commute isn’t always terrible, for as long as you’re not one of the unlucky ones, given the recent incidents. 

“It’s quite the change. I don’t think he realized that until yesterday. He also asked me if I know if you eat properly in the morning. Maybe he thinks you don’t?”

“I’ve skipped meals…” you trail. “And well, I told him that I just eat crackers on the bus. Maybe he thinks I’m losing focus some days.”

“Maybe he’s just concerned.”

You snort at the absurdity of the statement. 

Mr. Ri sighs. He knows that Jungkook hasn’t been his best self since he arrived in Seoul, and especially towards you. He’s noticed the young man’s indifference, the occasional passive remark, the frustrated looks, and the tension every morning. He’s noticed your faraway eyes, too, your constant anxiety, and unusual lack of confidence in your usual tasks, given that you look to be second-guessing everything you do. 

As someone who’s worked for the Jeons for so long and who’d watched Jungkook grow up, he’s used to the detachment, but it was always because the young man often lived in his own head. There are always lots of thoughts and ideas, and lots of feelings he keeps bottled in. 

But he’s also seen Jungkook’s kindness that he doesn’t always show, the guilt and anger that restrain him from expressing his emotions, and the care that he seems to put a brake on when he shows too much of it to someone, and so it isn’t much of a surprise to him to him when the young man gave this specific instruction to pick you up, not just today but everyday moving forward.

“The news on the radio reported on the robberies and complaints of sexual harassment against female commuters last night,” Mr. Ri continues. “They attack at any hour now. I’m sure that’s why. He wants me to drive you home everyday, too.”

“Mr. Ri, that’s too much,” you protest. “That’s not part of my contract and it isn’t his responsibility.”

“Maybe, precisely why I think he’s concerned. It isn’t about making sure you’re not late to work or anything. He’s worried that something might happen to you. And I agree. It isn’t safe, ___.”

“It’s not safe for me anywhere. I just… it’s too much,” you sigh. “I don’t need this kind of service. I’m not entitled to it.”

“He’ll insist though. Will you argue with him over your own security? I mean, it’s either this or he’ll pay for your driving lessons and then request for a car for you to use.”

You sigh, knowing he has a point. You don’t think you deserve it but you also can’t deny that the concern makes you feel a certain kind of way for him; gratitude, for one, and something else you can’t exactly name. 

“Okay,” you say softly. 

“Good. It’s about time he makes it up to you,” he chuckles. “Boy’s been a brat these past weeks. I wanted to just knock some sense into him.”

“Hmm, not like I expected any less,” you huff. “He just looked grumpy or disinterested during the times I’ve seen him before. Unhappy people like that aren’t always the kindest. Has he always been that way?”

“I wouldn’t say he has. I mean, he just wasn’t joyful or expressive, not like his brother. Jungkook liked to keep to himself; Hoseok often tried to push him out of his comfort zone but the boy wouldn’t really budge. I think as he grew up, that just amplified. People who prefer being alone have their reasons, don’t they?”

They do. You know this just like anyone, perhaps as much as Jungkook. It’s comfortable being alone; there’s no one to hurt you and no one you could hurt. You wonder if his reason is the same, and if, like you, he feels the loneliness creep in every once in a while. 

You nod in silence and the conversation doesn’t continue until you arrive at Jungkook’s building. You have five minutes to get to his unit and you get there in three. When you enter, you hear grunting from the gym, and it’s shortly after when he exits and drinks the glass of water on the counter.

“What’s that?” He gestures at the plastic container next to you.

“It’s fried rice. I made it this morning because I had time to eat breakfast at home,” you say, softly smiling and then bowing at him to show your gratitude. Whatever his reason is, the act was appreciated. 

“And you’re gonna eat again?”

“I was actually–”

You stop midway. You actually meant to serve it to him in case you arrived late, which you realize is pretty ridiculous. 

“Actually what?” He asks, leaning forward on the counter now, with his bare arms from his tank top blinding you a little. 

“I didn’t know what time I was gonna get here so I thought as a last resort, I’ll bring this to heat up and serve to you but then I realized that that’s pretty stupid because it’s leftovers and definitely not high-quality ingredients and it’s… just silly. Plus, you don’t eat rice in the morning.”

With his scrunched brows, he asks, “is it good?”

“It’s pretty delicious,” you say. “I mean, I liked it. I don’t know how sophisticated your palate is… Mr. Jeon.”

You smack yourself internally for rambling. 

“What’s that got to do with anything? If it’s good, then it’s good.”

“I’m an ordinary person, Mr. Jeon. I have normal people’s taste buds.”

“So that makes me, what? Abnormal?”

“No… I–” you unknowingly pout. You shouldn’t have brought this in the first place. 

Jungkook is disarmed again at the sight of your pouty face. If this is your way of thanking him for this morning, he’ll take it. The fact that you’d brought something you cooked from your own place to feed to him is already enough to make him feel hazy, which is why he needs to get away from you right away.

“Just heat it up. I’ll have that. There’s not much food in here anyway,” he says, walking away, leaving you no room to resist.

You do as you’re told, not wanting to overthink and change anything. You do check the cupboard and see a stashed pantry, and you wonder if he’d wanted to find something to criticize about your cooking, too. 

He walks in and lets you fix his tie again, and for some reason, you feel more nervous than you normally do today. You sit and busy yourself with responding to emails as he eats his breakfast, careful not to look at him while he does.

“It’s good, a little better than how I do mine,” he says, surprising you.

“You cook?” You ask too quickly.

“Of course,” he frowns, looking a little offended. “I lived on my own for years. How do you think I survived?”

“Hiring people to do it for you,” you shrug. 

Peeking at him once again, you see that he’s almost finished with the dish, and you can’t help the little smile on your face at the thought that he might actually enjoy it. It’s just fried rice, but you let yourself feel the shallow happiness from this. He’s at least not berating you or anything.

He finishes his meal as you go through yesterday’s meetings. There’s not much about the Arts Center he says, just like yesterday and the day before, and you start to wonder if the issue with his father has anything to do with that. 

You let it go, opting to just follow his pace and let him talk about it when he’s ready, if he ever will be. 

The morning goes by smoothly. Jungkook meets with Yoongi in his office then reviews the reports you’d sent last Monday. He sends you an email, saying that they’ve been approved and for you to attach his signature for sign-off and dissemination, leaving you perplexed at the lack of any other comments again. 

He goes for a quick lunch at the dining hall while you eat a sandwich at the pantry, and not long after, you’re back in the car to head to Jungkook’s appointment with his best friend.

Kim Taehyung’s tailor shop boasts of classic European design. It’s elegant in all the ways that he is, as he stands by the desk in his working space, a smaller room on the mezzanine floor with an exquisite couch and displays of his work. He’s donned in an orange suit that you think only he can pull off, while his brother, Seokjin, sits on a chair in an impeccable black 3-piece. 

You know as much that Jungkook grew up with both men, but while the brothers are often a hot topic on the news because of their wealth, their successful businesses, and colorful dating lives, you now wonder how Jungkook managed to stay out of the spotlight despite being a lot of the things that they are. 

You bow at them after Jungkook introduces you as his assistant, and you’re surprised when Seokjin reaches out his hand to shake yours, bowing as well and offering you a kind smile. Taehyung does the same, and you can’t help but feel the warmth on your cheeks. They’re clearly incredibly handsome men with amazing styles, just like your boss, but they’re obviously respectful and gentle, unlike him. 

“Nice to meet you, Ms. Cho,” Taehyung smiles. “So, what events do I need to dress my best friend for?”

He looks warm, friendly, and you can’t help but mirror his smile as he offers you a seat and some tea. You take out your calendar and enumerate at least three big events in the next months, which would require standout designs. Jungkook also wants four additional everyday classic suits, and Taehyung starts sketching on his pad as you speak. 

“Make one for my event, too,” Seokjin says. “I’m launching my traditional alcohol brand in Singapore in September. It’ll be a big thing so Jungkook needs a fancy piece for that as well.”

“That soon?” Jungkook asks.

“Yeah, it got pushed early,” Seokjin replies.

Jungkook asks you to check his calendar for any activities in the Singapore office, and you state that there’s nothing scheduled during that time. 

“There’s a landscape designer I want to meet while I’m there. Schedule one with her later,” Jungkook instructs you, and you make a note to coordinate with Lucas, who will continue to serve as the assigned assistant for the Vice President’s Southeast Asia trips. 

Taehyung finishes the rough designs quickly, given that he’s already familiar with the style his client wants. He’s done a lot of Jungkook’s suits, which you know from all the weeks of preparing his clothes, and you do admit that he looks best in these custom-made pieces.

As Taehyung takes Jungkook’s measurements - given that, as per his words, Jungkook has gotten wider since the last time - he asks if you have something to wear for those big events, too. 

“Uh, yes,” you say. 

“Are they from company events from before?” Taehyung asks.

You nod shyly. It’s not like you’re paid enough to afford a new one every time nor can you wear them anywhere else; there aren’t exactly regular fancy dinners and social occasions you get invited to.

“Have new ones made, then,” Jungkook says, his back turned to you.

“Uh, there’s no need, Mr. Jeon. The gowns still look new and they’re well-made,” you insist.

“Store-bought?” Taehyung asks, his eyebrow cocked.

“Uh, yes, Mr. Kim.”

“Nothing beats custom-designed ones though. And I must say, I’m kinda good at them.”

“I, uh… it’s really not necessary,” you stutter, feeling a little too shy and definitely undeserving. It’s Kim Taehyung; his name is the brand.

“I believe it is,” Jungkook says now, turning to you. “They’re big events and we’re organizing one with the arts professionals. Some dignitaries will be coming, too, including the culture minister. I’d prefer if you looked the part of working for the Vice President, Ms. Cho. You represent me in that way.”

“I… uh, okay,” you sigh, knowing you don’t seem to be in a position to turn him down. 

“Great. Start thinking of designs, then!” Taehyung beams.

It’s some minutes later when Jungkook’s measurements have been taken and Taehyung calls for you. You sit on the chair facing his desk not far away while Jungkook and Seokjin talk about sports and this new club that opened in Gangnam. 

Seated in front of you, Taehyung takes his sketch pad and starts asking what design you want.

“Something simple and comfortable since I’ll be moving around,” you say softly. “And nothing form-fitting or revealing since, uh…”

“I understand,” Taehyung smiles, revealing a gentle side of him that the paparazzi and tabloids clearly don’t capture. 

He starts drawing your silhouette, glancing at you then at Jungkook before speaking.

“So, he’s been in this role for a few weeks now. Has he been nice?”

“Define ‘nice,’” you respond, earning you a chuckle. 

“I guess that’s my answer, then.”

“I don’t mean to say he isn’t,” you backtrack. “Mr. Jeon just has a different leadership style as Mr. Jung’s, that’s all.”

“I suppose that’s quite a difficult adjustment for you, huh?”

You purse your lips and Taehyung laughs, the soft way he does it is something new and refreshing to you. You didn’t realize how deprived you are of such gentleness, of such acts or sights as simple as a smile. Hoseok is no longer your source. Your team hasn’t been as jolly these past weeks. The only other person you talk to regularly at work is Yoongi, and while he’s definitely been smiling more, it’s a lot more teasing than it is comforting. You’ve been missing your best friends more because of that, you think - Soomin’s smile is blinding, Jimin’s is sweet and infectious. Perhaps it’s why you haven’t been smiling much yourself. 

“I won’t tell, don’t worry,” Taehyung assures you. “I just wanted to check on him. This whole move has been tough but he doesn’t say much. I’m guessing he doesn’t tell you, either, but he’ll definitely show it.”

“He has, actually,” you say softly, knowing now that even with his closest friends, Jungkook tends to keep things to himself. “He’s pretty stressed most days, always working and stuff. He’s been a little hard on me but I guess that’s a natural reaction for some.”

“That’s not an excuse though.”

“It isn’t, but… it’s okay. I can handle it.”

It’s not as much of a lie anymore as it used to be. Jungkook hasn’t been overly critical about things as he was just last week. He rarely makes comments on your minutes now, doesn’t correct the reports you reviewed, doesn’t talk over you or doesn’t yell. There’s been a change, definitely, and you wonder what triggered it. 

“He doesn’t really smile, does he?” You ask, your curiosity getting the better of you.

Taehyung’s laughter is one of disbelief and pure amusement, catching the attention of the other two men but he waves them off. 

“He still does, just not as much,” he responds. “It kinda stopped after the breakup with Chaerin but I guess that’s what heartbreak does, right?”

“I… wouldn’t know. I’ve never experienced it,” you shrug.

“Lucky,” he hums. “I don’t wish it on anyone.”

You glance at Jungkook, briefly letting yourself imagine a version of him that’s a lot more carefree, relaxed, perhaps happy. Maybe it’s the loneliness and that you’d understand; that, you’ve experienced. It’s both liberating and isolating. You wonder if that’s how he’s been feeling all these years since then.

“I’m done,” Taehyung announces, showing you three designs that are exactly what you asked for. 

“These look nice. And way out of my price range,” you laugh.

“Perks of having a rich boss,” he winks. “I don’t want you to worry about anything, okay? You’re my client and I want you to wear these with confidence. Now, if you’re okay with all this, I’ll get one of my female assistants to get your measurements.”

You nod in response. There’s absolutely nothing you would change about those designs. And if you’re being honest, you now can’t wait for those events just so you could wear them. Hoseok had obviously paid for the gowns you had to wear for the big events, but those were store-bought that A-yeong helped you choose. Some were your own purchases, but this is the first time that you’re getting measured for custom-made clothing designed by Kim Taehyung. 

You walk towards the fitting room at the corner where one of his staff meets you. She’s meticulous, which is why it takes longer than usual just to get this done. With her silence, however, you’re able to hear the conversation happening outside, with the brothers now asking Jungkook about the same thing you’ve been wondering about.

“By the way, what was up with you last Monday?” Seokjin asks. “I thought that was gonna be night 4 of you going home with a new woman. But you passed out before you could even ask. And that was just 9PM.”

“Four nights isn’t much, though,” Taehyung laughs. “Didn’t he do that with seven women on seven straight nights when he was in Singapore? That was wild. Was it that stressful there? Or were there just so many to choose from?”

“Shut up. I’m not proud of that,” Jungkook groans. “And that was one time. It never happened again.”

“It never happened seven times straight again,” Seokjin corrects. “You were really living your life out there, huh? Stressful job, a rooftop bar in your apartment building, chauffeur and butler services 24/7, women from all over the world begging to sleep with you…”

“It’s called the post-break up stage,” Taehyung says. 

“For six years?!” Seokjin asks incredulously. “It’s either you loved Chaerin that much, you blamed yourself too much, or you just really sucked at moving on.”

“I vote all of the above,” Taehyung states.

“Me, too,” Seokjin claims.

“Fuck you both,” Jungkook groans again. 

“I think he also just missed us too much,” Seokjin adds. “Lucas was cleaning up your messes every time, not snapping you out of it. But we’re here now so I guess three straight nights is as far as you’ll go.”

“Two, if you stopped me last Sunday,” Jungkook points out. “You both always insisted that Sundays are a no-no. You were too busy with your own women.”

“May we remind you that you didn’t even make it to our table. You stepped foot in the bar then left five minutes later,” Taehyung says. “But really, what was it about Monday? You seemed angrier than usual.”

“Just… a bunch of things my father said,” Jungkook huffs.

“Did he tell you off again?”

“Not really, surprisingly. He just delivered a message basically, about what the board members were saying about me and my project. Bullshit stuff, you know? I just wanted to forget about it.”

“Did you?”

“Sorta,” Jungkook says. “I still don’t want to talk about it.”

“But it’s still happening, right?” Taehyung asks worriedly. “The Arts Center, I mean. You’ve been wanting to work on that since the building was abandoned five years ago.”

“I don’t know,” Jungkook responds. “I guess. We already put money into it. I’ll just have to make concessions if my father doesn’t side with me on this. I hate to think he’s buying into what those old folks are saying.”

“Ms. Cho, we’re all done,” the staff member tells you, muffling the conversation outside that you couldn’t help but hear. 

It felt quite intrusive, hearing how life was like for Jungkook in Singapore, but then again, his personal life seemed to be the topic in the office comfort rooms, and you don’t know how to feel about getting confirmation about those rumors. It felt sad more than anything though, living that kind of life away from friends and family. You wouldn’t know what moving on from a breakup feels like, but you suppose people grieve a lost love in their own ways; you can’t blame them for how they choose to repair the parts of them that broke. 

But the bit about his conversation with his father is what bothers you. You’d hate to think that there’s a possibility that Jungkook’s plans won’t be fully realized, and whatever the reasons for that are, you hope they didn’t break his spirit too much. You know the plans now like the back of your hand and the more you learn, the more you believe in it. You hope Jungkook continues to believe in it, too.

You exit the fitting room, catching the end of a conversation where Seokjin suggests a wholesome weekend for the three men of just dinner and drinks. The two other men agree, and they all turn to you once you make your presence felt.

“All good?” Taehyung asks you.

“Yes,” you bow in thanks. 

“Great. The gowns will be ready at the same time as Jungkook’s suits will be. I’ll just let you guys know, okay?

“Sure,” Jungkook says. “But anyway, we have to get back to work. Thanks again.”

The brothers bid you and Jungkook goodbye, and you head back to the office with not much words said. Jungkook seems less frustrated, but the worry you feel suddenly returns. It’s the thought that maybe he doesn’t feel supported, that maybe what he’s doing isn’t enough, and that more than that, it's him choosing to deal with all this on his own, not even looking to his friends to comfort him.

Jimin and Soomin meet you for lunch at a restaurant that Saturday afternoon. The drive from Busan took longer than expected, they said, but you say you don’t mind. They’re visiting you like they always do every month, regardless of how busy they are back in their hometown, which was your home for a few years, too.

You were in the same class; your mom worked at the school, which was the only reason why you were able to attend a prestigious one in the first place. Even when you moved back to Daegu, you remained in touch with them. Despite the distance, none of you wanted to just let the friendship fade, and even when they had to stay back and you made a life out here in Seoul, they made sure to visit you as much as they could.

They’re why you were excited for the weekend to come and now, you’ll be enjoying a hearty meal, getting your nails done after, lounging at your apartment, and then heading to a club for a night out, which you only do whenever they’re around. 

“So, has the boss situation improved?” Soomin asks, her eyes soft and laced with worry “Or should I storm the jerk’s house and give him a piece of my mind?”

“It has,” you chuckle. “So no need to call him names or fight anyone. I’m okay.”

“Well, you did call him a grumpy old grinch with nice hair the other week,” Jimin points out. “So… did he get a haircut?”

“No,” you laugh again. “And that was in the heat of the moment. I… I mean, he’s still grumpy but he’s not… as grumpy or unbearable. He’s been—”

“Oh hun, please don’t say he’s been kind and then give him a pass for how he’s been to you,” Soomin reprimands. “Mean people don’t just become nice all of a sudden. And if they do, that’s a controlling tactic - they want you to think they’re capable of change so you’ll soften up to them and then give them a pass every time they do asshole-y things again.”

“You watch too many shows,” you frown, although knowing her statement isn’t wrong; it’s just not something you can relate with Jungkook.

Sure, he hasn’t been the nicest, but he also hasn’t been the meanest. He’s just been… him, you suppose - a bit in the middle; frustrated at worst, quiet at best, stoic on most days. He does seem to live in his head a lot, and while you won’t go so far as characterizing him as kind, he definitely hasn’t been insufferable these past few days. 

“I’ve just dealt with too many assholes, ___,” Soomin corrects. “They’re all the same. Men are shit.”

“Except for Jimin,” you correct.

“Except for Jimin,” she concurs. 

“I accept the honor,” he bows. “But seriously, ___. How has it been? You… you seemed really sad last week and I would’ve driven here then if we didn’t have that work emergency.”

“I’m okay, I mean it. I’ve experienced worse,” you try to assure them.

“You do know that having experienced something worse doesn’t mean it’s fine for you to experience something bad again, right?” Soomin points out.

“I know, but it also means that I know my threshold for bad behavior,” you say. “Jungkook was in a lot of stress and I did mess up. But I think he’s making up for that.”

“By apologizing, you mean?” Soomin cocks an eyebrow.

Your sigh tells her that’s definitely not what Jungkook has done. 

“Well, he approves my minutes and reviewed reports much quicker,” you reason. “And he doesn’t comment as much. But actually, I think he just pities me. And that’s worse.”

“Why would he pity you?” She asks.

“I don’t know. Maybe because I said that a tree fell on our roof and that mom got injured the weekend before my mishap,” you explain. “And then he found out how early I start my day just so I can get to him on time. He’s made adjustments after those and I… I think he’s guilty or something. And he’s just not being his usual angry self around me to make it up to me.”

“So in short, he’s still kind of an asshole,” Soomin says, prompting Jimin to snort and you to pout. “He could always just apologize if he’s guilty and realized he should treat you better.”

“Some things aren’t easy for other people to say, you know?” You say softly. 

“That’s not an excuse,” she points out.

“It’s an explanation,” you counter. “Or one of them, I guess. I don’t know him well enough, but it’s better to think that he’s a decent person who just struggles with emotions than someone who willingly makes people’s lives difficult. I mean, that’s easier to manage and accept.”

“If that helps you deal and he’s indeed improving, then maybe I won’t have to storm his place then,” she smiles, taking your hand and kissing it as she likes to do. 

She knows your habit of pressing your nails onto your skin, and she always said she likes to remind you that you deserve gentleness, too; she’ll give it if you can’t give it to yourself. 

The rest of the afternoon goes as you planned, with all the banter you’d expect from your best friends amid the pampering and then the chick flick in the background as you get ready in your tiny apartment. 

You smile at your reflection in the mirror. The high-waist trousers and sleeveless top ensemble is a refreshing sight for you, as you only really dress up like this for a night out. You’re in your usual pencil skirts and blouses otherwise, and in jeans and tops or oversized jumpers on a normal day. 

Soomin’s done your makeup and Jimin compliments you as he looks on, and soon enough, they’re ready as well to head out. 

“Where’re we going?” You ask from the passenger seat as Jimin navigates the busy streets of Seoul on a Saturday night. 

“Some new restaurant the guys discovered,” Soomin responds. “I think it’s not far from here.”

“Okay, good. Hajoon’s been texting, asking what time we’ll get there,” you tell them. 

“Geez, you were already with him last night. Tell him to be patient,” Jimin rolls his eyes. 

Soomin laughs from the backseat as she teases that he’s just being jealous, to which he points out that he just hasn’t seen you in a while so the man can wait. And you assure Jimin that you’d gladly skip a night with Hajoon to be with your best friends, no questions asked. 

You get there eventually, and you immediately spot the group because of the laughter coming from their table. There are four men; the two women are Soomin’s friends, which is how you got involved with Hajoon in the first place. You met some time last year and you’ve been hanging out with him since then - among other things - and you’ve been enjoying it, given the simplicity and lack of drama when he’s not being moody. He’s a warm body who knows how to use it and you’re a good type of relief, as he’d said; there’s really not much more you need as you just try to survive through life and make something out of yourself in however way you can. 

Hajoon waves at you from his seat, gesturing to his left to say he’s saved that spot for you. You head there after greeting your other friends, with Jimin and Soomin following you. 

Right as you sit down and greet the man next to you, you’re caught by surprise when he kisses your cheek and snakes his arm around your waist. 

“Hey, I missed you today,” Hajoon hums, smiling at you the way he did last night and this morning; it definitely wasn’t this sweet when he left for a work trip last month.  

“I… saw you today,” you frown, earning you a chuckle. 

“I know; I was still thinking about you, though,” he says. 

You give a smile - as genuine as you can make it - and then turn towards your friends to your left who are trying to hold in their laughter. 

You order a beer after he offers you a glass of wine, and then go for the pork belly when he says the salmon here is good. 

“Just craving for meat, that’s all,” you tell him. 

“Is there anything else you want? Just let me know, okay?”

You hum your yes and then turn back to your friends after Hajoon makes jokes with his.

“Since when was he this sweet to you?” Soomin whispers with wide, curious eyes. 

“Since never,” you reply. “I mean, we’ve never been affectionate outside of bed…”

“Is anything else different?” Jimin wonders, careful not to bring attention to your conversation.

You look back at how things were before Hajoon left and how it was when he was away. Nothing seemed different. You hung out at his place before he flew out, then you messaged each other every now and then during the one month he was abroad. He was more interested to talk, but given the time difference and the pressure and stress you’ve been under the past weeks, you didn’t bother much, neither did he. 

But you also think back to last night - how he picked you up from your apartment, which he’s never done before, and how he prepared a luxurious dinner. He made you breakfast this morning, too, whereas you both usually just sleep in in tangled limbs and then separate once you wake up.

“He cooked me fancy stuff but I just thought he wanted to show off what he learned during his cooking masterclass,” you shrug. “And well… he seemed sweeter than normal.”

“Maybe he hooked up with someone while he was away and he’s guilty about it,” Jimin suggests.

“He didn’t say anything about it and he knows I wouldn’t mind,” you say. “We’re not exclusive, even if I don’t hang out with other guys.”

“Maybe he’s over the fucking and wants to do the loving bit now,” Soomin offers. “I mean, he always seemed more into you than you were into him.”

“He’s hot and decent when he’s in a good mood; that’s all I need,” you admit. 

“But honestly, that’s probably it,” Soomin continues. “I think he’s hinting that he wants to be more.”

“But I don’t want to,” you whine. “I’m not ready.”

“You’re 30! When are you ever gonna be ready?” Soomin whisper-yells.

“Never!” You pout now. “I mean… Not with him.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to tell him soon, then,” Jimin sighs. “Before it gets messy. And you hate messy.”

“What if men just don’t have feelings?” Soomin wonders out loud. “That way, you can’t hurt them.”

“So that way, they can hurt you?” Jimin points out. “No. I’m not letting any men hurt either one of you, okay? I love you both too much.”

“We know,” you and Soomin say at the same time. 

“But I agree with Jimin, ___. You’re gonna have to let that man next to you, who’s thankfully deaf, go. And then just find another person who can give you what you need,” Soomin continues. “Like, uh…” 

She looks around the semi-packed restaurant to find some random man to just point to, her eyes widening in awe as she spots a table close by with the type of men she was just thinking about. 

“Like them.” 

You laugh at her, not taking her seriously, but still, you look towards the direction of her cocked head, only to feel your throat dry up and your heartbeat speed up. Your eyes widen in reflex as they meet the piercing gaze of the man who’d given you a headache for weeks. He also happens to look unfairly handsome in his white top and slicked back hair. 

“Shit, I would totally go for them,” Soomin adds, “and I only even like men a quarter of the time.”

Your best friends look at you as they wait for a response, only to see a nervous look on your face, as if you’re seeing a ghost or something, and the way you turn to them and stutter almost seems like you are.

From the other table, Jungkook pants quietly. You finally looked his way, and he didn’t know what to expect your reaction to be - maybe a bit of shock, but definitely not this worried. Granted, you’re out with your friends at a restaurant that he and his friends frequent. It’s not the type of place they’d normally go for - this is a lot simpler, less private, and more accommodating than the exclusive restaurants and hotels they go to for dinners before heading to a club. But Jungkook loves their pork belly; he orders it every week, and tonight, he was craving for this specifically before going to a private party of one of Taehyung’s clients. 

Jungkook had seen you when you sat down, and he’d been taken aback when the guy to your right immediately kissed your cheek; it seems he’s barely let go of your waist since then, too. Perhaps the man is your boyfriend - and Jungkook doesn’t know what made him think you wouldn’t have one - but it also seems that the one to your left is into you, too, at least based on how he smiles at you sweetly but rolls his eyes at the affectionate guy to your other side. 

But other than the embarrassing obvious affection that both of them are directing at you, what made him lose his senses is how you look, and you’re even more beautiful than he imagined. Your hair is styled, your makeup is bolder than usual, and he won’t even start with how you’re dressed. It’s a lot more skin than he’s used to - you’re out, after all, and if he’ll go by what your companions are wearing, he supposes this is your stop before heading to some club to party, too. Whereas when you’re at work, you have the skirt and long-sleeved blouse ensemble that you wear everyday - still pretty, perhaps just a lot more reserved than what he’s seeing now. 

He can’t take his eyes off you, even as you entertain your suppose-boyfriend, even when you engage in hushed conversation with the man and woman to your left, and even when you stare back at him, the initial shock now wearing down to a look of curiosity. Perhaps you’re wondering why he keeps glancing at you, too.

“I told you he’s got it bad,” Taehyung laughs from the other side of the table. 

He’s noticed how his friend hasn’t said much in the last 10 minutes, his gaze directed at the loud table close by. One glance and Taehyung knew why. 

“Well, we told him,” Seokjin corrects. “He only ever acts out when he’s threatened and he’s apparently threatened by his pretty assistant.”

“I’m not acting out,” Jungkook scowls, finally breaking the staring contest with you.

“You’ve never been this much of a jerk,” Seokjin says. “So yes, you’re acting out.”

Jungkook ignores them, his eyes turning back to you, and finds you downing two shots of tequila consecutively, then using the beer as your chaser. His knuckles unconsciously clench when your suppose-boyfriend scoots closer, whispering something in your ear, his lips grazing your skin. 

Jungkook exhales deeply, trying to get a grip of himself. He’s acting foolishly. You obviously have a life outside of work, and it obviously includes going out for dinner and drinks with friends, having a boyfriend, and enjoying your youth the way he is. There’s a world outside of the routine you’ve both created, of the silence you both share, and the time you spend together, unknowingly learning about each other without meaning to, without wanting to.

“___,” Soomin calls your name one more time. 

“Huh?” You answer, finally tearing your eyes away from Jungkook, who’d unfortunately captured your attention after you noticed he was there. 

You’ve been used to his impeccable looks in his fancy suits; you’ve even gotten used to his tank top and sweatpants post-workout outfits every morning, and while you’re still not immune to that look, his night out wear fit for a party leaves you more choked up than normal. 

Maybe it’s the black jeans that you spot as he sits on the edge of the couch, or the white button-up top with the rolled sleeves up to his elbow, or his haircut that makes him look a little more mature. Maybe it’s all that and the way he’s gazing at you, the look in his eyes something you can’t quite read. Perhaps like you, he’s surprised to see you here the way you’re shocked that he’d chosen this place to eat; it’s not exactly a fancy restaurant you know he likes eating at. 

But he’s here, and so are you, and suddenly you feel exposed, as if the world outside of work that you’ve kept to yourself is baring open to the man who stands at the center of what you do everyday. And you’re not sure how you feel about that.

“I was just saying… those men are pretty hot and they look interested, too,” Soomin wiggles her eyebrows. “ I mean, they keep looking here.”

“One of them is my boss,” you finally say. “Guy on the right. That’s… uh, that’s Jungkook.”

“Holy fuck, hun,” Soomin chokes on her drink. “Why did you leave out the part about your rude boss being a fucking god?”

“Does it matter?” Jimin scowls. “He’s still rude.”

“It’s different when the guy’s hot. It makes the anger more intense, you know?” Soomin says. “Attractive people elicit more passionate feelings sometimes.”

“Excuse me, that’s not why I was angry,” you pout. “He was really being unfair.”

“Well, he was. But I think my point also applies,” Soomin argues. “I’d just like to warn you that workplace hotties are a menace. Except for Yoongi - he was heaven sent. ”

“Ah, the man who could’ve been,” Jimin sighs. “We at least knew he wouldn’t hurt you. He didn’t seem like the type.”

“Yeah, this dude over here is hot but he’s mean. And that’s your type,” Soomin smirks.

“Can we… not talk about this while he’s there? And while this other dude is right next to me?” You glare at your friends, especially at Soomin whose insinuation wasn’t lost on you. “It’s so… weird.”

“Hey, we’re here for you, okay?” Jimin softens as he looks at you. “Just let us know if one of them makes you feel uncomfortable. We can always just stay at your place and watch horror movies until morning and you and Soomin can lose your voices from screaming and then I’ll lose my hearing because of it.”

His words make you laugh. There’s a tenderness in Jimin that you’ve never heard from anyone else before. Even when he’s telling you to stop yelling because you live for the thrill of a jumpscare, he says it so tenderly while laughing before pulling you both in his embrace. 

“I’m okay. I’m just… I don’t know, probably just not used to seeing him somewhere that isn’t the office or his home,” you reason. “And I feel a bit exposed, I guess. This is my world and his is… right there.”

You wrap your arms around your body subconsciously, realizing only you’d done it when Jimin asks if you’re cold, offering his jacket then taking it back because Hajoon might smack him or something.

You turn it down, knowing you actually feel hot more than anything. You’re dressed up and definitely dressed in less, and somehow having Jungkook see you like this is oddly making you shy, perhaps a little too conscious.

“Just don’t mind him,” Soomin advises. “It’s a restaurant. You obviously have a social life and he can’t fault you for it, nor make you feel weird about it. Just focus on us, okay? Or on Hajoon, if that’ll happen.”

You follow her words and try to block out Jungkook. You do slightly nod at him, as well as at Taehyung and Seokjin just to acknowledge their presence, but you continue on with your meal, as the dishes arrive soon after. 

The pork belly is a winner; you’ll probably come back here for that alone. You do manage to dodge Hajoon’s attempts at feeding you, and your other friends engage with the three of you at the other end of the table. It’s going well for the most part, until Hajoon starts to act a little wary, a little tense.

“Hey,” he says, leaning close to you. “The guy on the other table has been looking at you all night. It’s kinda annoying.”

You glance at Jungkook’s table and he looks away when you do. “Oh, just don’t mind him,” you wave Hajoon off. “Maybe I remind him of someone or something.”

There’s a beat of silence, and you feel him tense even more, as you look up and see that he’s staring down the man on the other side. Hajoon’s had a bit to drink, and you know he tends to be cocky and irrational when he is. You groan once he shakes his head, saying he’s gonna give “that stranger” a piece of his mind because “he can’t be looking at my girl like that.”

The initial annoyance you feel turns into panic once he stands from his seat and storms to the other table. You follow him, with your friends just looking in worry. His friends are more encouraging of what he wants to do though. 

“What the fuck is your problem staring at my girl like that?” Hajoon mumbles, acting all tough when he’s never threatened nor confronted anyone like this, even when he’s drunk. 

Jungkook seems taken aback. Perhaps it’s the aggression he didn’t expect, or maybe it’s finally having to acknowledge your presence in the restaurant, just in an unfortunate way. 

“Your girl?” He scoffs. 

The way the man is speaking to him is quite annoying, but he also knows your boyfriend is slightly drunk, so he dismisses him because Jungkook doesn’t need this drama tonight, especially not in front of you. 

Hajoon hates the way this stranger is looking at him and not taking him seriously. He’d seen how he kept glancing at you, perhaps trying to get your attention away from him, and he’s really had enough. His words are slurring but this is the courage he needs to stand up for you. You’ve said before how unwanted attention makes you uncomfortable, and he’s gonna do something about it before the man gets to try anything with you. 

“Yeah, my girl. You seem to have a problem with that, don’t you?” Hajoon grunts. 

“My only problem is you making a scene right now,” Jungkook shakes his head. “You’re drunk and insecure and you’re embarrassing yourself in front of your girl.”

Not that you expected him to back off, but you didn’t actually think that Jungkook would further press Hajoon’s buttons. The man is drunk and insecure and indeed embarrassing, but getting told so is a blow to the ego, especially in your presence. And so you’re not surprised that this just makes him angrier, and since you’ve never dealt with this version of him before, you don’t know how to pacify him.

You didn’t actually think that Hajoon had a daring bone in his body despite being the way he is, but when he attempts to lunge at Jungkook, you’re left in disbelief. You’re quick enough to pull Hajoon back before he lands a fist on the other man’s face, but he’d been worked up enough that he hits the glass of wine on the table, knocking it over and causing the drink to spill on Jungkook’s thin white top. 

“Mr. Jeon!” You shriek, pulling Hajoon back more forcefully before pushing him to the side so you can get ahead. 

You take the napkin from the table and wipe Jungkook’s wet clothed torso, slowing down immediately as you realize what exactly it is you’re doing. 

“I… uh,” you stutter, standing straight up and mirroring his questioning eyes. 

It was a reflex for you, considering that you constantly make sure that he’s dressed impeccably. 

“You know him?!” Hajoon asks in disbelief, tugging on your hand now so you’ll turn to him.

“He’s my boss, you idiot!” smacking him on the chest as you glare at him. “And you just put my job in jeopardy and for what?”

“Well, what can he do?” Hajoon challenges. “Get you fired because of me? Does he own the company and shit?”

“My father does,” Jungkook responds. “And I’m the Vice President.”

Hajoon just rolls his eyes but you aren’t amused. You glance at your table and gesture for one of his friends to take him, so one of them does. He stands up and pulls Hajoon away before he can do or say anything else.

“I’m so, so sorry, Mr. Jeon,” you say, your head bowed down as you apologize. “I…” 

The mess on his outfit is too much; the red has stained the white top and you know he feels sticky. He looks like he has somewhere to go after this and that makes it worse.

“I– I can call Mr. Ri to get the car in here. I can get extra clothes from your travel bag,” you say, knowing that Jungkook always has a bag filled with clothes for emergency flights or check-ins. 

You get your phone and make a call, telling Jungkook that his chauffeur will be here soon. You glance towards your friends who are still pacifying a drunk Hajoon, and you decide that they can handle all that. Right now, your priority is Jungkook.

You walk out towards the car that’s on hazard mode outside the restaurant and pick out the top that’s most appropriate for a night out, which happens to be a semi-loose black button-up. You head back inside, with Taehyung and Seokjin informing you that Jungkook has gone to the washroom, so you scurry towards there and knock at the door.

“Mr. Jeon, I have your black long sleeves here,” you say as your knuckles tap on the wood. “Just tell me–” 

You’re interrupted by the sudden opening of the door, the sight of Jungkook in his jeans hanging by his waist and his unbuttoned white top catching you by surprise. His hair’s a bit damp and so is his bare torso, as you see that he’s tried to clean the wine off his body. 

You catch yourself looking longer than you should, and you immediately look away as you hand him over what he needs. 

“Please let me know what else you need, sir,” you say, your eyes glued to the pretty wallpaper as you awkwardly stand outside the washroom. 

“Jungkook,” he says, earning him a curious look. “I mean, you don’t need to be formal. We’re not at work.”

You nod, realizing it does sound weird to address him as such in a casual setting. 

“Okay… Jungkook,” you mumble, but even the way it rolls off your tongue is a bit odd. You’re not used to it, and you hope you won’t ever be. 

He closes the door and you take this time to calm yourself down. You’ve been so worried since you saw the glass tip over and mess up his outfit, and given his hot-headedness, you’re a little surprised that he didn’t fight back. He does have a reputation to uphold but even then, stopping himself from punching Hajoon must’ve taken a lot. 

The door opens and you sigh in relief; his outfit still looks good and he’s fully clothed, so there’s no lingering looks this time anymore. You take the top that he gives you, and you take the chance to apologize.

“I’m so sorry,” you start. “I don’t know why he— I mean, he’s a bit drunk and he’s not usually like this.”

“You’re not the one who should apologize so don’t,” he responds. 

“Well, he won’t apologize so I will.”

“You didn’t spill the drink and you didn’t come at me. That was him,” he counters. 

You just shrug, choosing to just concede. “I’ll just return this to Mr. Ri.”

He calls your name before you turn around to leave. 

“I didn’t mean to cause a rift between you and your boyfriend,” he says, much too low and too gentle than you’re used to. “I hope I didn’t ruin anything.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you answer softly. “We just, uh, we just hang out.”

You don’t know why you feel the need to correct this misinformation. Maybe you just want to remind yourself because you’re not anyone’s anything; hearing Hajoon claim you as yours made you want to just create that distance even more.

Jungkook wants to push it, to ask more. The man clearly acts like he’s your lover, given the physical affection and the way he tried to stand up for you. But there’s a bit of shame as you state that you and the man “just hang out,” and there’s that wonder he feels - how can you be with someone without being with them, and if turning away people who are clearly into you is a tendency you have. There’s Min Yoongi, after all, who’d liked you enough to remain as your friend when you needed one despite how he felt.  

“Okay then,” Jungkook nods. “And your job’s not in jeopardy. Don’t take responsibility for a stupid act you didn’t do.”

You bow in thanks, not much used to this side of him that’s understanding and even calm. You suppose he’d seen you worry about your job, had seen you look embarrassed over something that you didn’t even do, and perhaps he saw the discomfort over how Hajoon was talking about you. 

You’re about to walk out of the hallway when his call of your name stops you again, prompting you to turn around.

“About earlier… did I… did I make you feel uncomfortable?” He asks, the worry in his voice surprising you. 

You debate over playing it down or telling the truth, but you go with the latter. 

“A… a little,” you admit, looking away. 

You hear him sigh, and there’s a look of guilt in his eyes as you turn to him. 

“I’m so—”

The footsteps of another diner in the hallway disrupts him, and you both make way so he can use the washroom, too. Perhaps you and Jungkook had taken so long, and you don’t want others to conspire about what’s happening, so you walk out and tell him again that you’ll just return his clothing to Mr. Ri. 

From your table, Soomin and Jimin watch the awkwardness of your parting of ways, with you scurrying out the door and Jungkook returning to his seat with a deep sigh before glaring at Hajoon.

“He does sound and look like an asshole, aside from being hot,” Soomin observes. “That’s totally ___’s type.”

“Are you saying she likes her boss?” Jimin asks incredulously. 

“I’m just saying that’s her type, not that she likes him,” Soomin corrects. “There’s a difference. I still hate him for making things hard for her. I wish he would stop treating her like that. You and I know she won’t quit anytime soon. Especially because he’s a Jeon.”

“I know,” Jimin sighs. “I wish we could protect her from all this, too. But she’s always done what she wanted to do. And we wait for her to tell us when things are hard; we just hold her hand whenever it is.”

“That’s all we can do, I guess,” Soomin responds. “Sometimes though I wish she’d just… let someone else do more than just hold her hand, you know? It could’ve been Yoongi, or even Hajoon before all this mess. It could’ve been you.”

“You know that’ll never happen,” Jimin laughs bitterly, with Soomin knowing exactly what he means. “You’re only ever just her friend or her lover; you can’t be both.”

Soomin hums in agreement, as she’d seen you draw the line with the men you’d come across with. You’d make it clear if friendship is all you want; you’d be straightforward if it’s just sex you’re seeking. You give either just your heart or your body and you’re always careful not to give both. There are parts of you that you don’t want to share, that you don’t want to expose to them; there’s a kind of hurt that you don’t want to experience. 

They watch you walk back inside and then head to their table, where you sit next to a buzzed Hajoon who still has half a mind to look at you guiltily. 

“I think I’ll head back home after this,” you tell the group. “Kinda not in a partying mood anymore.”

Your other friends apologize on Hajoon’s behalf, proceeding to ask you if that was really your boss and if he’d threatened your job because of it, remarking that it would be such an asshole move of him to do that or to even get mad at you for something you didn’t do. 

You come to Jungkook’s defense; he didn’t say anything to that effect at all. Perhaps you’d been the unfair one who assumed that he would - that he’d demand that you apologize, that he’d use this against you. 

“He’s… not like that,” you say, meaning it. You turn to your best friends who have disagreeing looks. “He… he tried to apologize for making me feel uncomfortable,” you say softly. “No one’s ever done that before.”

“Look, ___,” Hajoon starts, but you cut him off. 

“I don’t really wanna talk about it,” you sigh. “I’ll just pay my bill and head out.”

You, Soomin, and Jimin all pay accordingly and then leave the restaurant, with you turning to Jungkook and his friends, bowing as a form of goodbye.

“Hey, why don’t we buy desserts at a convenience store and have our own party at your place?” Jimin suggests as you all settle in his car. 

“That would be nice,” you hum. “This outfit wouldn’t be such a waste then.”

So that’s what you do, as your best friends treat you to all the snacks you love - a usual occurrence, really, as they used to do that back in Busan to cheer you up during the days when you were feeling sad. It’s one of the things that you allow them to spoil you with and they take advantage of that, as you go home with weeks’ worth of goods for you to enjoy.

You also picked up some drinks on the way, so you play some music and dance around with your wine glasses and take shots in between. It’s too early to be drunk but 11PM might as well be 3AM. You’re all seated snugly in your tiny couch as you watch some variety show on mute, laughing at the hosts' antics even if you can’t hear anything. 

“Tonight wasn’t so bad,” you huff, leaning on Soomin’s shoulder as you doze off. “Both of you are all I need. Thank you for never disappointing me.”

They know you don’t always let yourself be this sentimental. They also know that when you do, all you want is for them to listen and to hold you. And that’s what they do, as you eventually clean up and fall asleep on the mattress with them, the events from earlier slowly fading away.

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I’m not okay. 🥲😫😭

This is the angst I live for! 💖

@jiminrings

Amazing!💖💖

fail-safe; intermission.

wordcount: 2k

glimpse: you’re left behind, as always.

alternatively, yoongi can’t give you the closure that you need.

[ part one + intermission + part two + intermission 02 + finale ]

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! even replying to this post sends me over the moon :) | series masterlist

Yoongi has to watch you for the night.

He has to “strictly” watch you for the night or whatever Namjoon had instructed him in verbatim, even if this wasn’t the first time that you’ve been left alone. You get that every once in a while, your mom still has to meet her wretched in-laws in the city for whatever reason they could call, and with Namjoon being the eldest child, he volunteers himself for moral support.

He’s always been the stronger, more driven child between the two of you. He knows where he’s heading and he knows how to get there; slowly but surely, Namjoon’s becoming the football player he’s always dreamed of. Not only did he inadvertently become the man of the house, he also became the familial figure that doted over you the most.

You don’t blame your mom for being busy trying to hold her jobs down just to keep everything in place. You don’t blame your brother for his increasing busyness in juggling college, football, and being a fixed figure in your life all at once. 

You don’t blame either of them for pushing you to grow up faster than you’d like.

You love their company but you don’t mind being left alone either. You know how to double-lock the doors and secure the barrel in the front gate so tight, you’d have to break out the oil just to loosen it up to let them enter. You have a system for keeping track of turning off the gas and even putting out fires should there be one.

You don’t mind being alone, and although it’s not your favorite thing in the world, you know how to be. 

You’ve been through this dozens of times before, so seeing Yoongi look after you despite what happened is an unwelcome sight. Having him watch you like you’re a child puts a bitter taste in your tongue, his presence being an eyesore altogether that you haven’t moved out from the living room once. You can’t stay cooped up in your room either, because you’ll only be reminded that Yoongi had been there as much as Hyewon was the last time.

You’re studying for your exams when Yoongi makes his presence known, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He had been scowling at you for the better part of the whole day, although you wouldn’t really know because you barely spared him a glance the whole time. 

Yoongi, surprisingly, was waiting for you to bother him. He was waiting for you to make conversation somehow, whether it was over an obscure topic only you would know so much about or over a shared interest that he knew you only cared about because it mattered to him. A whole week already passed since the incident yet the both of you barely ever spoke, the longest being from awhile ago when he asked how you wanted your rice cooked. (He knows you like it moist and fluffy instead of dry and separate, but he still asked a stupid question just to get you to talk.)

There’s something about the sight of you looking calm to the point of unperturbed that annoys him all the way to the end of his spine. You look studious and composed and not at all displaced that the both of you haven’t been interacting at all.

Yoongi jumped at the opportunity when Namjoon asked him for a favor of watching after you, but seeing to it that you don’t care at all to try and make up for lost time — all his thoughts fly out of his head as he confronts you.

“Don’t do something stupid like that again.”

You raise your head up from your book in confusion, mouth slightly parted at the sudden intrusion. You know exactly what Yoongi’s pertaining to — it just happens that you’re speechless.

He huffs at your indifference, tightening his fists. “Don’t run off recklessly just because you’re upset. What would’ve happened if we didn’t find you, hm? Namjoon was worried sick,” he enunciates, pursing his lips at you in disappointment. You’re no stranger to his glare because you’ve already received many whenever he critiques your intellect and your passion or whatnot, yet in this context, you can’t believe him at all. “I was worried sick.”

You’re silent as you just take it, even throwing him a pitiful nod as soon as you’ve digested his words. You don’t even want to talk to him because you’ll break if you do; you’re going to become more of the weak, good-for-nothing Y/N that you already are to him.

Yoongi only weaponizes your silence, his heartbeat thrumming in his ears when you can’t even look at him. “Also, stop hanging around friends who aren’t good for you. You can’t have all the fun you want. Sooner or later, you’re gonna get hurt, Y/N. We can’t always be there for you.”

You nod again, and that’s when he breaks.

“Is this a joke to you?” Yoongi snaps before walking over to you and putting your textbook down, the grip he has on it leaving an indent.

“What?” you clarify, still calm with the practice that after everything, Yoongi can’t possibly hurt you more than he already did.

“I’m asking you — is our concern a joke to you?”

You only raise your brow, anger barely brewing. “It’s not.”

Yoongi awes mockingly, his temper rubbing off on you. “Then how come I haven’t heard a single apology from you? Why are you acting as if that day never really happened when in reality, Namjoon’s so scared that you’ll do it again and put me in charge?”

“You could’ve said no.”

“Well, genius, I couldn’t say no either because I feel the same! If I wasn’t worried shitless, do you think I’ll be spending my weekend babysitting you?”

“I’m not a kid. I don’t you need to babysit me,” you grit, the repeated insinuation that you’re nothing but an inconvenience to him making you tip over. “If you hate it so much, then just go.”

“Because that’s your go-to solution lately, right?” Yoongi scoffs, his chuckles patronizing you. “Why can’t you just grow up and own up to all of your mistakes? Why can’t you just say sorry-…”

“I’ve already apologized!” you burst, the calm you think you’ve mastered around him already being broken. You settle, even for the misplaced anger Yoongi has on you because you don’t want to make a bigger deal, but what you won’t settle for is having your character misjudged — especially if it involves your family. “I already apologized to Namjoon for causing him so much panic, and I can’t apologize to my mom because she doesn’t know about it. Maybe he hasn’t forgiven me yet because he sent you to look out for me when I don’t need you to, but I apologize to him whenever I can! I screw up but I own up to it, Yoongi.”

He’s silent at that, your outburst shutting him up contrary to what you expected. You thought you would set him off completely, and just when you think your fight’s already over and you could go to your room, you’re struck with reality.

It’s not about Namjoon. It’s not about apologizing to your brother at all.

“You want me to apologize to you?” you whisper, your disbelief growing into exasperation. “I’m sorry, Yoongi, for reacting the way I did,” you spit. “I’m sorry for being upset because I saw you fucking your girlfriend in my bed.”

Yoongi’s ears prick at that, your bluntness ironically catching him by surprise. “You’re so upset about it that you leave your home? You’re so upset about me being with my girlfriend that you think you’re entitled to just driving your loved ones into a heart attack?”

“Why are you so hung up about me leaving? Why can’t you be the one to apologize to me?”

“Because I’m not the one who’s beyond irresponsible and hopped up to whatever roadtrip my friends planned on the spot!”

“Maybe you should go on one just to get that stick out of your ass,” you scoff, running a hand through your hair. The bile’s rising in your throat again and you desperately want to find an outlet for it; anything that would remind you that even now, you pray, nothing Yoongi could say would hurt you more than he already had. “And for a change, before you leave for it, I’ll make sure to fuck someone on your bed, in your room, and get angry when you’re upset at me for it.”

“Why are you upset?” he raises his brows at you.

“Why are you angry?” you return the question, tucking your bottom lip to keep the tremble away from your voice. 

Yoongi smiles tightly at you, far from pleased. “I’m angry because you’re upset that I’m fucking my girlfriend, when at the end of the day, it just happened to be in your room. Are you upset at me too for being with her outside of your room? Will knowing that make you run away again?” he laughs breathlessly, the recollection of the anxiety he felt when Namjoon called him making him shudder. “I’m angry because you think that me being with Hyewon is the end of the world. Y/N, do you know how much danger you could’ve been in? Could you even use your brain for one second and realize that you could’ve been hurt and everyone else would be devastated to know that?” 

It’s that same tone again — that same, extremely familiar tone whenever Yoongi looked down on you.

“Do you know how your family would go insane? Do you know how devastated I would be if the worst happened to you?” he licks his lips, voice cracking near the end. “I’m angry because you keep wanting me. You keep being upset at me and I can’t do anything about that unless you let go of the idea that we’re going to be more than this.”

He looks down on you for many things; your intellect, your passion, and most recently — your love for him.

“Why can’t it be me?” you whisper, eyes downcast because in case Yoongi gives you the truth, you don’t want his gaze to be embedded in your brain forever.

“You’re Namjoon’s-…” he sighs, interrupted instantly when you stumble over your words in desperation.

“No, Yoongi. Without mentioning that I’m your best friend’s sister — why can’t it be me?”

Yoongi sighs heavily in the same way he looks down on you, calculated and exhausted.

“It’s late,” he lulls as if he’s talking to a kid, the warm inviting smile nowhere to be found on his face. “Go to sleep.”