HAPPINESS IS A BUTTERFLY.

⋆ ｡⋆୨୧˚— HAPPINESS IS A BUTTERFLY.

𝜗𝜚 ༘⋆ ⋆˙pairing. boyfriend! lee heeseung x fem! reader synopsis. in which your relationship with heeseung has been falling apart,, and he realizes far too late. (drabble). genre. angst ,, wc. 1200. 𝐥u𝐧a notes ⋆.˚ I’ve been so angsty.. 🫧 — 𝓵𝗂𝖻𝗋𝖺𝗋𝔂

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THE CITY LIGHTS OF SEOUL CAST A DIM GLOW THROUGH THE CURTAINS, GIVING THE LIVING ROOM A SOFT, MELANCHOLIC HUE. you sit on the edge of the couch, your fingers gripping the cushion fabric tightly as you watch heeseung pace back and forth. the tension in the room is unavoidable, a storm brewing between you both that you can no longer hold back.

“i just don’t understand why you can’t see it from my perspective, y/n” heeseung’s voice breaks through the silence, his frustration evident. his normally warm eyes filled with love are now filled with a mix of anger and hurt, emotions that you rarely see in him.

you take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. “it’s not that i don’t see it, hee. it’s just that you never listen to me either. it’s always about your schedule, your fans, your career. what about us? what about me? it’s unfair…”

he stops pacing and turns to face you, his brows furrowed in confusion and disbelief. “are you fucking serious? you think i don’t care about us? everything i do, i do it for us, for our future.”

“do you?” you ask, your voice trembling at the visible anger in his voice. “because it feels like i’m always the one compromising. i’m always the one waiting, always the one understanding. when do you make time for me? you can’t expect me to just sit here silently and take all this.”

heeseung runs a hand through his hair, a gesture you know he does when he’s stressed. “you knew what you were getting into when we started this, i warned you. you knew my life would be demanding and time consuming.”

“i didn’t know it would be this hard,” you whisper, tears welling up in your eyes. “i didn’t know i would feel so lonely even when i’m right here with you.”

the room falls silent, the weight of your words hanging heavily in the air. heeseung looks at you, his hard glare softening as he takes in your expression.

he takes a step closer. “i never wanted you to feel lonely honey, i thought… i thought we were okay.” he says placing his hand on your cheek as you softly take it off, heeseung noticing the gesture as he looks down in shame.

you wipe away a tear, your voice breaking. “we’re not okay, heeseung. we haven’t been for a while, and you know it. i’ve tried to be strong, to support you, but it’s exhausting. i miss you even when you’re right here, i miss the old you, not the heeseung who acts like spending time with me is an obligation.”

heeseung kneels in front of you, taking your hands in his. his touch is warm, familiar, but it doesn’t bring the comfort it used to. “i miss you too baby, i promise I’m still the same heeseung” he says as his voice breaks, his voice barely above a whisper. “i’m so sorry baby, you know i love you.”

you look into his eyes, searching for the sincerity in his words. you see it there, but it’s not enough to mend the damage that has been done in your heart. “missing each other isn’t enough, heeseung. we need more than that. we need to actually be there for each other.”

he squeezes your hands gently, his eyes pleading. “tell me what to do. tell me how to fix this. i don’t want to lose you, i’m not letting you go.” tears brimming in his eyes, desperate.

you sigh, pulling your hands away. “i don’t know if it’s something you can fix hee, i think… i think we need time apart to figure out what we really want and need.”

heeseung’s face falls, the colour draining from his cheeks. “t-time apart? you’re breaking up with me?”

“no,” you say quickly, your heart aching at the sight of his heart broken expression. “i just… i need space to think. we both do. maybe then we can come back and make this work, all we do is argue, heeseung.”

he stands up slowly, his shoulders slumped in defeat. “if that’s what you want.”

“it’s not what i want,” you say, your voice cracking. “but it’s what we need. i love you, heeseung, but love isn’t enough right now.”

he nods, swallowing hard. “i get it. i don’t like it, but i get it.”

you stand as well, wrapping your arms around yourself as if you’re trying to hold yourself together. “i’m sorry it’s come to this.”

heeseung steps forward, hesitating before pulling you into a tight embrace. you cling to him, burying your face in his chest as the tears you’ve been holding back finally fall. he rests his chin on top of your head, his own tears rolling down his cheeks, dampening your hair.

“me too, honey” he whispers. “i’m so sorry.”

you stay like that for what feels like an eternity, holding each other as if it’s the last time as the dim lights of seoul shine down on you. in some ways, it feels like it is the last time you’ll be in each others embrace. when you finally pull away, the distance between you feels even bigger.

heeseung walks you to the door, holding his tears back as his hand lingers on the doorknob. “take care of yourself, okay?”

“you too,” you reply, giving him a small, sad smile. “i hope we can fix this, hee.”

“me too,” he says again, his voice barely audible.

you step outside, before you could walk away you feel a grip on your wrist.

“i love you, i always will.” heeseung whispers.

you give him a broken smile as you pull your arm out of his grasp.

“i love you too..”

you reply as you finally leave the apartment along with the love of your life. the cool night air hitting your tear-streaked face. as you walk away, you can’t help but glance back, seeing heeseung standing in the doorway, watching you go. the sight breaks your heart all over again, you want to run back to him, to be with him forever, but you force yourself to keep walking.

back in the apartment, heeseung closes the door and leans against it, sliding down to the floor. the silence is deafening, the absence of your presence a constant reminder of what he’s lost. he covers his face with his hands, finally letting the sobs he’s been holding back escape.

the record player continues to spin, a melody echoing off the walls of the empty room;

"happiness is a butterfly

try to catch it like every night

it escapes from my hands into moonlight"

his body shakes with his sobs as the song plays on, your favourite song. heeseung realizes that happiness, like a butterfly, is fragile and fleeting. and in that moment, he vows to do whatever it takes to catch it again, to hold onto the love that he wholeheartedly knows he can’t live without.

© won4kiss

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⋆ ｡⋆୨୧˚— LOML

𝜗𝜚 ༘⋆ ⋆˙pairing. husband! park sunghoon x fem! reader synopsis. park sunghoon was once the love of your life, and now he would be remembered as the loss of it. genre. angst ,, wc. 1600. 𝐥u𝐧a notes ⋆.˚ inspired by this song, i strongly advise u to listen to it as you’re reading<3 🫧 — 𝓵𝗂𝖻𝗋𝖺𝗋𝔂

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our field of dreams, engulfed in fire. your arsons match, your somber eyes. and I’ll still see it, until I die. you’re the loss of my life.

the sun had barely risen, casting a soft, golden light through the sheer curtains of your shared apartment. the faint glow illuminated the room, making everything look almost ethereal, like a scene from a dream. but this morning, it felt more like a nightmare.

you and sunghoon had been arguing the night before. it started over something small – he had forgotten to pick up groceries on his way home. but like all unresolved tensions, it escalated quickly. the argument spiraled into something neither of you had anticipated, touching on deeper, more painful issues that had been boiling up inside of you beneath the surface for months.

“i don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of this,” sunghoon had said, his voice tinged with frustration.

“it’s not about the groceries, hoon!” you had snapped back. “it’s about you never listening to me anymore! you’re always so caught up in your own little world that you don’t even notice when i need you.”

he had run a hand through his hair, a gesture that showed he was trying to keep his temper in check. “that’s not fair, y/n. you know how busy i’ve been with work.” he said shaking his head at you as you felt yourself getting angrier.

“busy? we’re all busy! trust me, i’m busy too! but we make time for the people we care about. or at least, we’re supposed to.”

the argument had gone on for hours now, voices raised and accusations thrown cracking each of your hearts more by the second, each word cutting deeper. by the end, you were both exhausted and emotionally drained. sunghoon had retreated to the bedroom, slamming the door behind him, leaving you alone in the living room, tears streaming down your face.

you stared at the door, contemplating on making up with sunghoon, but you shook your head. you were done with the way he had been treating you, now he could deal with the consequences of his own actions.

the next day, in the early morning light, the weight of last night’s argument hung heavy in the air. you sat at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a cold cup of coffee. you replayed the argument over and over in your mind, feeling the sting of regret with every bitter word exchanged.

sunghoon emerged from the bedroom, dressed for work. his face was pale and his eyes red-rimmed, a stark contrast to his usual composed self. he paused in the doorway, looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read – a mix of regret and something else, something you couldn’t place.

“i’m leaving for work,” he said quietly, almost whispering. “i’ll be back late tonight. we can talk then.”

you didn’t look up. you couldn’t. the words were stuck in your throat, and all you could manage was a stiff nod.

sunghoon hesitated, then walked over to you. he bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “i love you, y/n,” he whispered, his voice breaking slightly.

“mhm.”

that was all you could say, his words from last night were still clouded over you.

you were still too hurt, too angry. you didn’t respond. you didn’t even look at him. he lingered for a moment, as if waiting for you to say something else , anything else. when you didn’t, he straightened and walked out the door, the sound of it closing echoing through the empty apartment.

as the silence filled the air once again, you felt a churn in your stomach. a bad feeling, maybe you should’ve said something else, you thought.

the day passed in a blur. you went through the motions, trying to focus on anything other than the gnawing ache in your chest. but everything reminded you of sunghoon – his favorite coffee mug, the jacket he left draped over the chair, the photo of the two of you on the fridge, smiling and happy, a contrast to the misery you felt now.

you kept checking your phone, hoping for a text, a call, anything from sunghoon. but there was nothing. the silence was deafening.

It was now late in the evening, the sun dipping below the horizon, casting long shadows across the room, you had been sitting on your couch, waiting for sunghoon to get home, yes you were angry but you had missed him much more than anything else.

and suddenly, there was a knock at the door. you excitedly opened it expecting to find sunghoon, but except finding two police officers standing there, their faces solemn.

“are you park y/n?” one of them asked gently.

your heart dropped to your stomach, you knew whatever the man was going to say next probably wasn’t going to be good.

“yes,” you replied, your voice barely a whisper.

“i’m afraid we have some bad news ma’am. your partner, park sunghoon, was involved in a car accident this afternoon. and.. i’m sorry, he didn’t make it.”

the world seemed to stop. everything around you faded into a blur, and all you could hear was the deafening roar of your own heartbeat. you felt like you were drowning, the weight of their words dragging you down into a dark spiral.

“no, no, you’re mistaken.” you whispered, shaking your head. “no, that can’t be true. i just saw him this morning, he was here- he can’t be...”

the officers exchanged a glance, their expressions filled with pity. “i’m very sorry for your loss. if there’s anything we can do...”

but their words were lost on you. the room seemed to spin, and you clutched the doorframe to keep from collapsing. sunghoon was gone. your sunghoon.

the last thing you had said to him – or rather, hadn’t said – echoed in your mind, shadowing down on you as if it was mocking you, a cruel reminder of your silence.

“i love you, y/n.”

the memory of his soft voice, so soft and full of longing and love, cut through you like a knife. you had ignored him, let him walk out the door without a word. and now he was gone. forever, and you couldn’t help but think he died not knowing how much you had loved him.

in the days that followed, you moved through life in a daze, present but not really there. the apartment felt unbearable, each corner filled with the ghost of sunghoon. you couldn’t escape him, and the memories – his laughter, his touch, the way he used to hold you when you were sad. every moment was a painful reminder of what you had lost.

you found yourself replaying that final morning over and over, wishing you could go back, not arguing with him, holding him a little longer, asking him to stay, and telling him how much you had loved him, but it was too late. the chance to make things right had slipped right through your fingers, leaving you with nothing but regret and a heart shattered into a million pieces.

sunghoon’s funeral was a blur of black clothes, tears and somber faces. you stood by his casket, staring down at his peaceful face, wishing with everything in you that he would open his eyes, with that gentle smile, and tell you everything would be okay. but he didn’t. he was gone, and nothing would bring him back.

as you stood over the casket, you held his hand. it was cold, it wasn’t the same warm hands holding you at night- the same hands holding you only two weeks ago.

glistening tears ran down your cheek as the people surrounding you watched in pity and despair for you.

“poor girl.. losing her husband at such a young age, i can’t imagine.” they whispered.

as the weeks turned into months, the pain didn’t fade. it settled into your bones and became a part of you, a constant ache that you couldn’t escape. you tried to move on, tried to live your life, but the weight of your loss was always there, a heavy shadow that followed you everywhere.

you couldn’t possibly forget him, he was your everything, he was the love of your life- and now he’ll be remembered as the loss of your life.

every night, as you lay in bed, you would hear his voice in your mind, whispering those final words. “i love you, y/n.”

you’d feel the absence of his comforting embrace, the arms that would coax you to sleep, his kisses, the feeling of his hair tickling your neck.

you remembered the wedding vows, you remember how sunghoon had promised you a lifetime with him, how you were supposed to grow old together.

you would give anything to hear him say his last words to you one more time, to have one more chance to say it back. but all you had were memories, and the haunting realization that the love of your life was gone, leaving behind a void that could never be filled.

@won4kiss

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