He Told His Daughter She Needed To Keep Cookies And Milk Out For Santa... Lucky For Him, The Baby's Craving

He told his daughter she needed to keep cookies and milk out for Santa... lucky for him, the baby's craving also happen to be cookies and milk!

"Ooft, I think the kids are thanking me for the ice cream and Cheetos, but they're kicking up a storm and that's flaring up my heartburn... can't wait to get them out of me."

He found the most comfortable paternity wear earlier on in his pregnancy, and pre-empted the larger than normal belly by buying larger sizes while they were on sale. His future self is very thankful the baby brain didn't fail him at that point in time...

At first, Tom didn't think much of his balls blowing up very rapidly a couple of weeks after trying out this new wonder drug from the US. It was only after his ass and belly started widening that he started to suspect something was really wrong. What Tom didn't realise was that the drug is not meant to be taken by men who have sex with other men, especially if they are the bottom. It messes up the hormones, accidentally allowing the body a small window where a biological male could become pregnant... not that Tom realises that. As far as he's concerned, he's just having a weird reaction to funky steroids, and that it'll pass now that he's stopped taking the drugs - it's just taking a little longer than anticipated to recover. He'll recover in about two weeks when he starts experiencing an overwhelming sense of needing to 'push' something out of his ass.

I want to do this as some sort of open challenge for anyone who does morphing on Tumblr or elsewhere... here are some photos of guys who I personally think would look amazing with a belly. If you are able to, please give it a go - best ones will receive both a decently sized story attached to the photo, plus compensation (AU$50 per photo - will discuss transferring of funds after selecting).

Entries close 11.59pm Australian Eastern Daylight Time (UTC+11) Friday 31 December 2021. May the best morphs win! :D

https://www.instagram.com/p/CVckzGELgHv/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CV8MfHbrpQf/

Most of Nick's clothes were struggling to fit him before coming along to the Palm Springs trip. Now that he's here and doesn't have to worry too much about decency, he can away with a set of pants that shows a little more than usual. What is insane is that it's entirely possible these pants will also become tighter over the coming days, seeing as his hips are preparing to pop two kids out in only a matter o weeks...