What To Do When You've Crossed A Line?

What to do when you've crossed a line?

C.(S). Jeonghan x Reader | WC. 1367 | G. Angst| Pt. 4/? |

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

The door shuts with a bang as you lean against it, catching your breath. 

With your eyes closed, you remember his face. 

Tired. Exhausted. Relieved. Concerned. Shocked. Emotion painted on in a blend of colours, hanging to each crease of his brow and lips.

He was a mess, more so than you’ve ever seen him

Why were you feeling concerned for his well-being? If anything, you should worry about yourself. Four days and the place you had to see him was on campus after things had been running relatively smoothly all day. Turning your head to the side, your sights fell on the bag you had made this morning—all your tangible memories stuffed in that 23 by 64-inch bag. 

You turn your body and move closer to it. Untying the double knot of the black bag, you pull out a figure of Wall-E made out of Lego, Jeonghan having the other half, Eve.  

You had started building Legos together as a joke to escape the stress of finals and the impending assignment deadlines two semesters ago which became a designated stress reliever, finals or not, you would scour the internet and save up for sets that you both liked.

“You’re doing it wrong, that’s not how the piece fits” “It’s literally what the instruction shows” “No no! That’s not the right piece”

The first Lego set you brought home had no one set design, just a wide range of pieces and instructions to make whatever you wanted but it seemed that you both found it funny to insult the creation the other wanted to make causing you to bicker over every attempt to build something together.

It was worse when you bought a more complicated set from your favourite series The Lord of the Rings—a Rivendell set. Figuring out the intricate details and piecing together the entire design put the two of you on each other’s nerves. It got so bad that you had to cool off in separate rooms and when you came back, Jeonghan sat back just watching you complete the set to avoid more fighting.  

You learned you two couldn’t build together unless you were working on completely different sets which prompted you two to buy multiple Lego sets so you could parallel play like children on the living room floor.

Long hours of just making your designated Lego set, music on low volume in the background, snacks at your side and you would find yourself looking over to see him completely focused on his piece without another care in the world. You caught yourself often, in those times, letting your gaze linger to his figure for just a while longer, turning away before he had the chance to meet your eyes.

Placing the Lego Wall-E on the floor you reach in to find a hoodie, navy blue with “MARK THE MOMENT” printed on the front.

On a seemingly clear spring day, the two of you headed out near his apartment to build a stash of snacks to sustain the two of you for a movie marathon that weekend, a celebration for finishing midterms.

Walking into the shop with blue skies, you two emerged with a heavy downpour. Had you thought of potential weather uncertainty, you would’ve worn a thicker or even full-sleeved t-shirt. Jeonghan had been more prepared, wearing that same navy hoodie you clutched in your hands, as he held the bags of your store haul.

Ready to make a run for it, he turns to you. Doubt and concern sported on your face.

Placing the bags in his hands on the ground, he begins to shed himself of his hoodie. Passing it over to you once it's off. Despite himself in just a t-shirt he urges you to put on his hoodies.

“Don’t argue, I’ll be fine” “You’ll get wet though” “We both will, but you have more to lose with the thin shirt you have on,”

Wanting to get home faster, and the rain clearly not willing to let up any time soon, you throw on the hoodie.

“We run on 3” he beams, picking the bags back up but this time both in one hand.”1….2……3!”

You don’t expect him to tuck his hand into yours and pull you forward, beginning your race against the overcast to his apartment.

It's then, the two of you soaked, laughing and running against the rain, you feel your heart flutter. It had been doing that for a little while these days, but only when you found your gaze settled on your best friend. His smile, contagious and his laugh ringing in your ear like a symphony, everyone else? Background noise. Nobody, nothing, mattered more than his hand in yours, pulling you in a frenzy through the streets desperate to seek shelter, despite water reaching your skin a sharp contrast to the heat and fuzzy feeling creeping across your entire body.

Continuing your journey through memory lane, you pull a stack of polaroids and one of your old disposable cameras—one which was yet to be developed.

Polaroids, some blurry, others confusing without context but one in particular, a haphazardly taken selfie from last summer. Staring straight into the camera, Jeonghan’s arm reaches around your head, as his hand grabs the underside of your face, pushing together your cheeks, giggling at your dismay. He snapped a picture before you could get away from his grasp. Your eyes shut, lips both frowning and pouting and his hand smushing your cheeks together like you were a child.

You stare at the picture a bit longer, wishing to go back to summer, a time in which your worries had all but disappeared, it was just you and him.

You dig around the bag until you find what you’re looking for. The beanie. Brown and now a bit worn due to use.

Whenever the colder season began, it would be the perfect weather for hats and beanies in the morning but by lunchtime, Jeongan’s beanies would either be in your bag or lazily stuffed in one of his pockets, much too hot to put on his head. It would be one of the things he would leave around your home and so you would often collect them and deliver them back before he had the chance to complain about how his hats seemed to be disappearing.

This particular beanie was a gift, from him to you, though it ended up as a shared article of clothing. Pulling it off each other’s head to sport it on your own was a childish game you enjoyed partaking in. Despite a million times you fought to wear the beanie, your fondest memory was tied to a bittersweet day. An exam that particularly seemed to disrupt your academic career ended in a less-than-ideal conclusion. You held it in all day, but the minute you saw him, all bets were off, one question was all it took for you to start bawling in the middle of the library.

Unable to understand your sudden outburst and concern for you, he pulls off the brown beanie, sticking it over your head and pulling down the sides over your eyes, concealing your sorrow from the world. The suddenness of his actions startled you, your crying abruptly cut short during his ministrations to straighten the beanie on your head. Now silent, you sat across from him contemplating the situation.

“Wow…I didn’t think that would work…” “…why…did you do..that?” you ask, sniffing, still blinded by the fabric constricting your view.

He shrugs to an imaginary audience, forgetting that you can’t see him.

“Hold on stay like that, I’m gonna take a picture," he explains before giving you a proper explanation of his thought process.

Face red, tears drying on your cheeks, beanie pulled too far down, your lips a thin line, the profile picture he still kept as your contact.

You laugh at the ridiculous memory, which despite your best tries, turns into tears, once again crying over how messed up everything has become.

You can’t rid yourself of these items, just like you can’t throw away your feelings. Each and every memory tattooed to the depths of your mind, how would you remove those?

What to do when you've crossed a line?

C.(S). Jeonghan x Reader | WC. 821 | G. Angst| Pt. 1/? |

Part 2 | Part 3

You were used to your best friend’s antics. His “cheating”, the pranks and general everyday shenanigans but also the kind-hearted soul and caring nature he hid behind every antic. You didn’t know where along the way your feelings matured into a storm of butterflies whenever he came in sight. You could kid yourself into thinking that everyone cared that much about their friends, best friends even, and the feelings would pass. How many months does an average crush last? At least 37 months, right? You were simply guessing and definitely not keeping track of how many times he caused you to stay awake thinking of a fantasy future. 

Having feelings for your best friend was one thing, holding yourself back from giving the side eye to every person who flirted with him was another feat. How often had these moments been replayed, hot person flirts with Jeonghan, he entertains them, and you remain in the corner, out of sight, silently seething but ultimately unable to do anything. 

If he asked you to fly him to the moon, you would do so without question. Hide a dead body? All you needed to do was grab a shovel, but be a bridge to him and whoever he wanted to go home with that night. You could take a rain check. 

You got out of it often given how many of your mutual friends were present at the events and parties you all attended but it seemed that your luck ran out. Tonight, most of your friends either ditched the party early or had skipped out completely, leaving you to find a plausible excuse as to why you, in love with your best friend, could not talk him up to someone so said best friend could go home with them whilst you were left behind wondering what it would be like if you two went home together instead.

You became standoffish, faked fatigued, and pretended to be tipsy but he saw through your antics, confused with your behaviour until he resorted to tugging your arm repeatedly, pestering you to go over and rizz him up to some good-looking person who had been eyeing him all night.

Why did he need a wing person anyway? It's not like he had any trouble talking to people given his charm, mischievous aura and drop-dead gorgeous looks, he attracted people left and right, like a thirst-ridden nomad to an oasis. 

His persistence, on a normal day, would have eventually broken you down until you might have just walked up to whoever he needed you to, but something snapped inside you the longer you stared, wondering if you would be at the end of his affection. His eagerness shattered your short-lived fantasy but also wrecked your mood, unable to withstand being in that space, you pulled your arm out of his grasp and stormed out of the party. 

You didn’t stop to look back, walking out of the party room, out the building and towards your apartment, a mere five-minute walk. The chilly autumn weather would have caused you to mentally nitpick to have worn something thicker but your anger fuelled the passion to speed walk to the only safe space you could think of. 

Jeonghan had come after you, yet his hollers of your name fell on deaf ears as you were determined to block out all the external noise and finish your trek back home.

Catching up to you, he grabbed your upper arm, both fumbling you in your step and spinning you around right into his chest. 

“Y/N what the hell is the problem?” 

You avoid his eyes, cross your arms and look anywhere except directly at him.

“Are you going to stand there pouting or tell me what's wrong? Why did you storm out?” He waits for an answer, a fruitless endeavour against your current ego.

The sigh that leaves his mouth signals his own frustration at your lack of cooperation. He begins again hoping you answer at least one of his questions.

“Was it the tugging? I’m sorry if it bothered you too much…” Silence... “Are you drunk? Are you feeling sick?” 

His questions increased, asking you about the day, the party and even whether you liked the vibe of who he was trying to go home with to understand what the issue was, and that got on your last nerve

“I’M IN LOVE YOU DAMN IT!”

It's like a weight on your heart had been lifted but his expression only brought on a much heavier boulder on your heart and a knot in your throat. If you stayed here any longer you would begin crying and that was the last damn thing you needed tonight.

“Forget it, you don’t even care…”

You shake off his grip for the second time that night and storm off to your apartment with more urgency than before because now you’ve officially crossed the line in your friendship.

defending self inserts and oc x canons with my LIFE because i have seen firsthand how vile and nasty people treat them for just having fun and minding their own business

One day you’ll regret it, perhaps it’s today

C.(S). Han x Reader | WC. 589 | G. Angst|

Goodbyes have always come easier to you, after all, you seem to be saying them all the time.

There were very few people in your life that you felt a deep connection with, ones that weren’t related to your blood. And the most important of them all?

Han Jisung

He wasn’t just a somebody. He was your everything.

As beautiful as your life became with him, sometimes people are forced to do the cruellest things to those they love.

He was perfect, in your eyes, from the way he smiled to the way he cried. Not a single flaw you could locate.

So why did you decide to rip the heart out of the love of your life and shatter it without a bat of an eye?

Truthfully, no reason would ever be good enough or could be enough. You didn’t just make a mistake, you fucked up in every possible sense and you wouldn't see it until it was too late.

    “Why!? Why are you doing this?”

He was off the couch, kneeling in front of you. His eyes stare up at yours, begging for you to look inside them just once.

     “We can’t be together Jisung, I don’...CAN'T hold you back anymore.”

Bullshit. You internally cringed and cursed yourself for the lies that spilled out.

He stood up in disbelief, the tears drying on his face as he felt a surge of anger from your words.

   “So you’re just willing to give up on us? You think you’re holding me back?”

He was angry and hurt but more importantly, he was breaking. Your fight was nearing the end and you knew a few more blows would be enough for him to hate and resent you for life.

Standing up, you turn your head to meet his eyes. Eyes filled with so many questions and pain that you have to remind yourself of your true intentions.

    “Goodbye Han Jisung I wish you the best.”

Using his full name? How could you already be so cold?

Wish him the best? How could the person he could give his life for say goodbye to him as if they were strangers?

You start to walk away but his arm quickly reaches out to grab your elbow.

    “You can’t break my heart like this!”

His voice cracks and his anger melts away, now only his initial desperation and heartbreak remain.

You don't look into his eyes this time, looking straight ahead towards the door.

     “It's over Jisung, let me go," you breathe out. Utterly defeated yourself.

There was no use stopping you. Realization hit him, you had already made up your mind so who was he to stop you now?

You feel his release on your elbow, allowing you to proceed with your steps to the door.

Walking towards the door, you pick up the bag you had previously situated near the entrance, the catalyst to the end.

As you open the door to walk out, you start to turn and look at him one last time, but stop yourself.

With your back turned, you whisper a small “I love you” and continue out. 

You never imagined this day would come, but it had and you had made your bed so now you would be the one to lie in it.

Goodbyes were always easy for you, but this one had left you hollow, something that could quite never be filled. Not that you deserved that courtesy after tearing apart the man you kept awake countless nights with your false promises. 

*pt 63957 of a fanfic writer posting about why reblogs are important*

please don’t take it personally when writers post about the value of exposure like this! i'm not trying to call you out if you're not the kind of reader who reblogs fics. this is just a reminder that writers put a lot of time and effort into their works, and as much as we appreciate your likes, liking a post doesn't exactly widen our readership, sharing it with people does!

Carnivals were your favourite. The feeling of comfort and adventure at arm's length.

Haechan, like carnivals, was also your favourite, your personal carnival 365 days a year.

You could never say no to him and he to you.

Whether you were 5 or 50, one look into his beautiful brown eyes and you would give in, after all who could refuse a carnival?

The thrill of immaturity and no responsibility fueled Haechan, and you? Basked in the warmth of his happiness that surrounded you.