I Hate Goodbyes

i hate goodbyes

I’m sorry I left you, I hate goodbyes. I wish I were enough, To stay by your side.

To show you I love you, Without any fear, The concept is foreign to me, I can’t see it clear.

I wish I were stronger, To keep you happy and smiling, But I am weak inside, And I break down crying.

You aren’t supposed to comfort me, It should be me watching for you, But we both know it isn’t working, And neither of us know what to do.

Sometimes I wish we were born somewhere else, Maybe we could have even been someone else. Where nothing really mattered and no one cared, Where no one minded what exactly we felt.

In a world where it didn’t matter If we were together or not, But that isn’t where we live,  And I’m afraid we have to stop.

I love you so much, And I know you feel the same, But I am so very sorry, That we were born gay.

I won’t say goodbye, That much I won’t do, Because I’ll see you again, Be it in a month, a year or two.

You’ll always have a place Within my beating heart, And as long as you want, We’ll never be apart.

But so long my friend, my lover, my dear, It is time to move on, away from this place. I’ll carve you into my mind, your kiss and touch, Your laugh, your smile, your hands and face.

What’s in My Mouth?//Christian Yu

A lot of these have been sitting in my notes for awhile now because i didn’t think they’d be good enough to share but ahh why not.Hope whoever reads this enjoys it! feel free to hit me up,ask me questions.

“Babe,” Christian called out from the bedroom.We both had the day free and decided to be lazy within each other’s company.

“Yeah,B?” I replied after filling up Lori’s bowls.

“Can we do the what’s in my mouth challenge?” He yelled out like I couldn’t hear him.Making my way towards the bedroom I dropped onto the bed beside him.

“Have you been watching those challenges on YouTube with Dabin again?” I asked looking at him,he gave a cute lopsided grin.

“Maybeeeee,” he singsonged.“but can we, on Instagram live?” He pleaded.

I don’t know why he was asking when he knew I’d say yes.After explaining everything to me we set out to find the five things that we were going to use.We both returned to the bedroom with our five items hidden from each other.Christian set his phone up on the tripod,placing it on the desk and turning on his Instagram live,waiting a couple of minutes before the views came in.

“Hey guys,” he commented as he adjusted his phone to capture both myself and Lori who had made her way into the room and onto the bed.

“I’m doing fine,wassup with you guys?” I heard him ask as I rubbed Lori’s tummy.It wasn’t the first time I’d been in his live,we’d been friends for years so they were used to me basically.

“To be honest I didn’t plan on getting on here but I really wanted to do a live challenge and as my best friend who loves me dearly,Y/N has decided to help me out.” He turned and looked at me with a cheesy grin on his face. I stuck my tongue out at him before smiling and waving at the camera then returning my attention to Lori.

“We’re going to be doing the what’s in my mouth challenge as soon as y/n over there decides to share her attention.btw loser has to wear the other person’s clothes in public for an entire day.” I could feel him rolling his eyes.Pushing him lightly I left a now sleeping Lori and sat beside him on the edge of the bed.

Explaining how it works we played rock,paper,scissors to see who was going first.Chris lost all three rounds which meant he got blindfolded first.Using a pillow case as a blindfold I tied it behind his head and waved my hand in front his face a couple of times.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“Just making sure you can’t see.” I replied back holding up my first item so they could see. The comments that were coming in had me dying but I held it in.“Open up and stick your tongue out.”  

He did as told and I placed the dirty sock on the tip of his tongue.He pulled it back and his face scrunched up before he stuck his tongue back out.Once again placing it on his tongue.

“Did you just put my dirty gym sock in my mouth?”

“Yes,” I laughed as he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.We continued like this until I got to my last item.

“I swear to God if you put some weird ass shit in my mouth again we’re going to fight.” Looking at the bottle in my hand I contemplate on whether to go through with it or not.Saying ‘fuck it’ I placed a small amount on the spoon and placed it in his mouth. I grabbed the bottle of water near me as he removed the spoon and started tasting.It didn’t take long for the sting of the pepper sauce to kick in and his face to turn bright red.He pulled the blindfold off and looked at me with a really look before grabbing the bottle of water.

“Out of everything you chose hot sauce?” I smiled innocently at him and shrugged my shoulders.

“Stop being extra,you’ll be fine.” I patted his cheeks.He turned to the camera.

“You guys see how she treats me.” He pouted looking so fucking cute.

#BestFriendGoals

I ship y’all so hard..just date already  

Her bare face is what I strive for without makeup.

I read a couple comments before replying to Chris.

“It’s all love now stop being a baby and come on lemme beat your ass so you gotta walk around in a romper and heels.”  

Christian laughed sarcastically.“ She thinks she going to win guys.She’s so funny.” He placed the blindfold on and proceeded. The first one was super easy mainly because I ate kimchi regularly. The second one fucked me up cause he thought it’d be fun to give me dog food.That shit does not taste good. The others were challenging but I was still tied with Christian unless I got this last one.

Christian  

I looked at her as I pulled out my last item. I honestly didn’t care if I won or not because I’d already won at life when she agreed to be my girlfriend. I got my best friend and my girlfriend all wrapped up in one. I’m a cheesy fucker, I know.

We both talked about going public but couldn’t decide on how but after what I was about to do I don’t think we’d have to think about that anymore.Placing the sour gummy worm in my mouth I got closer to her as I placed it on her tongue for a bit before pulling it away when I thought she’d had enough. I could see the comment section blowing up at my actions.

“Is that sugar?” She questions.

“Not quite,want another taste?” She nodded and put her tongue back out.God she looks so fucking beautiful like that.Placing a fresh worm in my mouth I repeated the action keeping it on her tongue for a while longer.Just as I was about to pull back her mouth clamped down on the worm and she sucked on it trying to figure out what it was she kept going until the sour worm rested on the tip of my tongue.

“What the hell is that?” She asked pulling back. I ate the worm trying not to laugh.

Bro stop teasing the poor girl. I read Dabin’s comment and laughed.

Ohhhh Get some Ian!!!

MY PARENTS Y’ALL

I knew he been down with the swirl

“Okay one more time.” She asked.Putting some of the sugar from the packet on the tip of my tongue I leaned in closer to her and touched her tongue with my own.She repeated the same action.

“That’s definitely a tongue.What the fuck Ian? Did I just kiss Lori?” I broke out in laughter not being able to contain it.

“No you didn’t kiss Lori and it was partially a tongue.” She took the blindfold off and crossed her arms over her chest.

“What or whose tongue did you put in my mouth Christian?” She sounded a bit angry but I couldn’t help laughing.She’s just too cute.She pushed me back and stood up.

“y/n..baybehh,where are you going?” I asked Standing and holding onto her wrist pulling her against me.

“To sanitize my mouth,lord knows what weird shit you made me kiss.”

“So now my tongue is weird?” I smirked playfully at her. The expression on her face was enough to set me off again in a laughing fit.

“You jerk!” She hit my bare chest.

“You love me though,” I whispered leaning down closer to her face.“ It was actually gummy worms and then my tongue.” I winked at her my lips hovering mere centimeters away from hers.Her eyes darted to my lips and I took the initiative,pulling her closer by the waist I cupped her face in one hand as my lips descended upon hers.

Her lips pushed against mine as her arms draped around my neck,her hand pulling on my nape.My hands travel down the curve of her waist to her hips and over her round behind gripping one cheek firmly.

Reluctantly pulling away I peck her lips a few times before resting my forehead against hers.“ I love you.”

“I love you too and I know what you did.You ain’t slick Ian.” She leaned over slightly looking at the camera.

“Well I guess that’s out the bag huh?” She laughed lightly.Sitting back on the bed I pulled her down onto my lap as I read some of the questions.

Omg dreams do come true!! My parents y’all I’m living for this!

When did this happen?

How did we not see this?

And I can’t even get as text back.

Wish my boyfriend would kiss me like that

Now that’s how your kiss your woman.

“We’ve been official for almost a year and a half,” I replied to one of the comments as she managed to get the bag of sour worms and was happily munching on them.We kept answering questions until I noticed that my hour was almost up.

“This is the last question before we hop off here,so babe what’s it like dating me?” I turn to her.

“Dios mio,lemme tell y'all he’s a pain in the ass,cheesy,corny…but he’s my cheesy,corny pain and I love him mainly Lori but yeah.” She replied trying not to laugh.

“She’s lying I’m an angel but thank you guys for watching,enjoy the rest of the day.” Before I could turn it off she leaned in singing “DPR WE GANG GANG!”  

I laughed and turned it off then wrapped my arms around her waist.“I love you.”  

“I love you too,” she pecked my lips.“ Now what do you want for dinner.” She asked standing up and heading towards the bedroom door and locking it before turning to me with a smirk on her face.

breaking up and down

Way down in busy downtown, Was a man who had his head laid down. Sleeping soundly on his king sized bed, His husband leapt at the chance, And slipped away without another glance.

On the coffee table in the apartment, He left a square of worn-out parchment, With a note scribbled down in runny black ink. Then he grabbed all the necessities, And left the front door keys.

When the man woke up, it was half past four,  As he stumbled his way to the door. He ripped it open and asked for coffee, And walked to the lounge when he received no reply. There, he saw and read the note with a sigh.

When you read this, you’ll probably be sober, But by then, we’ll already be over. I don’t care if you’re Jekyll and Hyde, It doesn’t mean it’s an excuse, For any form of abuse.

Please don’t call me to beg and plea, That it’s just alcohol running through your body. The three years of dread and pain; My nights filled with screams and cries, Yours filled with evil in disguise.

I’ve gone somewhere you’ll never find, A place where I found a peace of mind. So, with this final note, Please forget that I exist, And I’ll forget the old you I missed.

He tore the note into tiny shreds,  And wiped his face for lingering tear treads. He took a deep breath and walked to the cabinet, Then he took out the vodka and three shot glasses; Tonight, he was getting drunker than the masses.

A few hours later, at two o’ five, The desperate man was no longer alive. On the ground were eight empty bottles, A broken house key, And a note that said I’m sorry.

for science

◦ pairing: reader x jimin

◦ rating: m

◦ word count: 7.7k

m a s t e r l i s t

Absurd. Absolutely fucking absurd. It was 2am during finals week and the cafe was out of coffee? You had some colorful words for the person responsible. Dragging yourself up the stairs with sleep-ridden eyelids, you muttered curses under your quickened breath. You clenched and unclenched your fist. It was safe to say that your fifth espresso shot had officially just worn off. Despite the troubling rate of heartbeat and the fact that your hand was shaking all on its own, the subtle pounding of a migraine lingered between your temples in demand for something to keep it awake.

There was still a menacing stack of papers left to grade. If something could pull you away from it all, you would have been thankful. It was almost nauseating, actually, how much work you had yet to complete. Who the hell said grad school was a good idea? The urge to scream rippled in the back of your throat, tempting you to let everything out and just empty yourself into time and space.

It did you no better to return to the study room –the very cramped one that you had booked privately for the entire day– to find a regretfully familiar face emptying his bag across from your belongings. “What do you think you’re doing?” You felt lightweight as the angry jitters travelled through your body. The heavy door slammed shut behind you. It sent a deafening sound cracking through the library.

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