You Run A Bakery, Just A Normal Bakery, The Only Problem Is That Your Customers At Midnight To 6AM Are

You run a Bakery, just a normal bakery, the only problem is that your customers at midnight to 6AM are mythical creatures who pay with gemstones and ancient gold and silver coins

New Alt-Right Playbook! This one's on spurious claims and how they don't even need to be ARTICULATED to follow you around.

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Transcript below the cut.

Say, for the sake of argument, you are the kind of progressive leftist with a platform who gets a share of harassment - seasonal or perennial - from reactionaries. In this situation, you will, inevitably, hear one who positions themself as a reasonable moderate ask, “Why Don’t You Respond To Criticism?”

There’s a lot going on in that question, more than is obvious, and it’s worth understanding.

First is that the question is not only directed at you. It exists as a marker, showing up in your Q&A’s, comment sections, or Twitter threads, to imply to anyone paying attention to you that there is some wealth of legitimate criticism you have long ignored. There may well be a specific point this person is referring to, but it’s often left unspecified or generalized, so that the content - and the quantity - of the criticism is left to audience imagination. It is meant to publicly undermine your legitimacy.

Second, it’s meant to make you question whether there is some legitimate criticism out there in the din of people screaming at you. You’re not perfect, and a knock-on effect of being harassed is you get numbed out, unable to discern good faith from bad, often removing yourself from the streams through which your peers used to correct you because of the endless flow of garbage coming through those channels now. But the only way to verify the ambiguous claim that there is criticism worth responding to is to once again strap on waders and climb in, which is often what your critic really wants.

Third, the question isn’t really “why don’t you respond to criticism?” Odds are, you do respond to some criticism. People in your position are often addressing or pre-empting criticism all the time, arguably too much. No, what this nonspecific question is really asking is, “Why don’t you respond to my criticism?” They’ll let it sound like you’ve been ignoring everyone, but they mean “why are you ignoring me?” They are going to insist you owe them a response, that their critique, regardless of your opinion of it, is valid, and demands immediate attention. Odds are there are dozens of people saying the same, all at once.

Fourth, odds are good that you have, in fact, addressed their specific complaint, but not in a manner they will accept. This one person’s criticism is likely not unique, you may have covered it somewhere in your output purely because you know what kind of arguments are getting thrown at you and you want to cover your bases. There’s a decent chance your critic doesn’t actually consume enough of your work to have seen it. But it’s maybe even more likely that they are aware of your counter-argument - possibly one of your fans directed them to it - but don’t consider a response legitimate unless it is directed at the critic. Covering it in a different context or on a different platform doesn’t count. They are owed a statement they can respond to directly, because they want the argument to continue. Really, the question is, “Why don’t you respond to my criticism on my terms?”

Finally, even if you did respond to them by name, it’s likely your response would still be disqualified. If you were to summarize their argument in any way, they would claim you are building a straw man. If you isolated any specific critique, or pointed to the cruelty that accompanied it, they would claim you’re cherry-picking. You must, it seems, first present the criticism, full and unabridged, before you may respond to it. Which is to say: the only “correct” way to respond to criticism is to platform the critic.

And there are dozens who expect this of you. Who will tear into you for not addressing, in meticulous detail, every single critique they’ve ever tossed your way, and, in the same breath, make fun of you for talking too much. Because they don’t want to move on from “Why Don’t You Respond to Criticism?” As a rhetorical tactic, it’s pretty ace. To announce, before the argument is even stated, that it is thus far undefeated? ::chef’s kiss:: Because any response you make will keep the focus on you and not their argument. “It’s not worth responding to.” “Well why should The Accused get to decide what is and isn’t worth responding to?” “I have responded, repeatedly.” “Well why didn’t you respond in this particular way?” None of this looks at whether the argument had any credibility to begin with, only at whether your rebuttal is following procedure.

Take, for example, the hypothetical criticism that you should not listen to me because I am just four eels in a trenchcoat. How would I respond to that? What can I say that isn’t exactly what four eels in a trenchcoat would say? “I’m not even wearing a trenchcoat”? Well, the first thing four eels would do when people start to catch on is wear hoodies. Show my birth certificate, saying I was born a single entity to a human mother at a weight four newborn eels wouldn’t add up to? Well, did that work for Obama? Or did the guy saying the birth certificate was fake get elected President? And, of course, anything I have to say about how fascism has evolved on the social internet is suspect if I can’t even prove I’m human. What do fish know?? We stayed at war with Iraq for seven years after the government announced the Weapons of Mass Destruction we were looking for never existed, and some people, to this day, still think we found them. What hope would I - a warm-blooded mammal who would make very mediocre sushi - stand in the face of that? [bell chime]

So, if you ever see this claim out in the wild, “why haven’t you responded to _____,” ask: do you know what _____ is, do you yourself agree it’s a valid question, and are you sure it hasn’t already been answered? And don’t repeat the question unless you’ve got three yesses.

Listen, it was under duress

not beating the AFAB accusations by being an annoying harpy to hospital staff are you

Possibly the most fascinating piece of anon hate I’ve ever received. Posting it to represent pinning it up on my internet fridge with a magnet. True food for thought here.

just me abusing my art degree and being Very Normal about G’raha again

New FFXIV fic: Finding G'raha

We sat in silence for a minute, enjoying the view together, before he cleared his throat. "What will you do when this is over?"

"Rest," I said instantly. "I hope," I added much more quietly.

There was a soft, sympathetic snort from beside me.

I decided to turn the question back on him. "What will you do when this is over?"

"When this is over? Indeed." The Exarch repeated, seeming genuinely surprised to be asked such a question. "I once told you there are things we can ill afford to lose. 'Things', I said, though in truth I spoke of a person. One who is unaware of the full extent of my plans. Though they deserve to know, I have good reason to keep my council. I have come to terms with this in my mind, but my heart yearns to lay everything bare. For they are my inspiration, and I would give much and more for the chance to speak with them as friends, with no thought of concealment."

He looked out over the water as he spoke, not meeting my gaze, which was just as well. Because with each word he spoke, I became more certain that my suspicion had been correct. G'raha Tia was the Exarch. 

I didn't know how he'd done it, how he'd even conceived of such a mad plan, but somehow the brilliant and brashly reckless researcher I'd met in Mor Dhona had accomplished a feat far beyond the scope of my wildest imaginings. My chest was suddenly far too small to contain my welter of feelings. Relief that he'd survived. Joy that we'd met again.

"Then, I would ask them about their next adventure," he continued, oblivious to the storm of emotion he'd sparked in me. "And if they should wish me to be a part of it, oh... how happy it would make me. Together, we would travel the lands and cross the seas and take to the skies upon the eternal wind... My heart swells simply to imagine it."

I stared at him, drinking in the sound of his voice like I was hearing it for the first time.

It had taken me so long to see past the devil-may-care attitude he'd cultivated when we met, to recognize him as a kindred spirit that I wanted a deeper connection with, and by then, we were busy preparing our assault on the World of Darkness. I'd naively planned on asking him how he felt when it was all over, only for G'raha to seal himself in the Tower before I thought to say anything.

I'd regretted it ever since. And yet, the Gods had granted me a second chance, because here he was, spilling his heart out to me, clearly feeling the same regret.

Read the whole thing on AO3

Snippets from Book 2 I'm particularly proud of

Editing Book 2 right now, and the massive suck of doing a second draft is at least sometimes mitigated by those moments where you come across a really clever bit. Here are some of the ones I'm really proud of. ---

Dee shook their head, overwhelmed by the prospect of being casually told to delete a good portion of what they’d spent a lot of money learning. “That… sounds hard. And like a lot of work.”

“It is,” Rav agreed cheerfully. “But when you find what it is you love to do—”

“You never work a day in your life?” Dee finished wearily.

Rav looked offended. “Hell no. I’m here to help you, not give you Insta platitudes. I was going to say that when you love what you make, that’s inevitably what people respond to the most.”

---

They aimed for casual and landed on cringe when they responded with, “that’s what friends are for.”

Corey blue-screened, which Dee decided was their cue to make way for a paying customer. “See you at five,” they called over their shoulder as they absconded with their thank-you pastry.

Dee berated themself for being weird the entire way back to their car. That’s what friends are for? What were they, some lovable scamp from a 20’s themed Broadway musical about newspaper-selling orphans?

---

“I mean. I’m not as good as you…” they disclaimed, breaking off in dismay when Rav rolled his eyes.

“Okay, first - we’re completely different artists. Second, take the compliment, okay? I was walking around the whole time and you still captured a lot of detail and got a really good likeness.” Dee’s embarrassment only increased when he pulled out his phone and snapped a photo.

“But. You’re not..” They sputtered as they watched him send it to Aspen, only for their cousin to respond immediately with several sparkling heart emojis.

Rav gave them a quelling look. “You’re going to be praised and you’re going to like it.”

It wasn’t exactly possible to slide down in their seat while sitting on a backless stool, but Dee gave it their best shot anyway. “Um. Thank you?”

Just me and a friend making G'raha's backstory a lot funnier

Working on a fic about G'raha and Alisaie falling in lust with each other after G'raha's return from the First, and am amused by where a chain of logic took me. First, my headcanon is that G'raha is trans, as is Alisaie, because if NO ONE is explicitly gay or trans, then anyone can be. No I will not take questions on this point. Second. Transition would have been pretty easy at the Studium. None of the professors give a fuck about your gender as long as your assignments are on time and your research is sourced correctly. So G'raha transitions quickly and seamlessly after arriving in Sharlyan because less time lost to dysphoria = more time for books.

Third. For most trans mascs, T horniness is A Fucking Thing[1]. Unlike Alisaie, who who sucked lots of dick[2] because she liked it, G'raha would have seen this horniness as an imposition. He transitioned so he'd have more time to read, after all.

Fourth. because he's far from the only nerd whose sexuality is "books" at the Studium, G'raha would have ended up with a circle of acquaintances who were willing to discreetly give each other "relief" in the library so they didn't have to interrupt their research.

CONCLUSION. Because G'raha is both a massive overachiever AND a people-pleaser AND a messy bottom, he got really good at letting people fuck his throat.

- - -

[1] I mean, I'm 95% asexual and the T horniness is hitting HARD, which is why I've spent all my time for the past week thinking about G'raha and Alisaie sucking my WoL's dick.

[2] From my previous fic: "Shut up and let me suck your dick, already" She leaned forward, arms crossed. "I've known you a long time, Warrior of Light, and I'm positive that I've had more sexual partners than you," she said, clearly trying to shock me.

It worked. "What... I mean. How--"

She cut me off with another of her edged smiles. "You only sleep with people you have a strong bond with. I, on the other hand, have sucked so. Many. Dicks." She paused for emphasis, fluttered her eyelashes at me, and slowly licked her lips. "And I'm very good at it."

Trying not to think of Alisaie's pretty mouth wrapped around my cock was like not thinking about a pink elephant - utterly impossible once the image had been conjured. I held myself utterly still, trying not to react to the dizzying rush of arousal I felt as my pants suddenly grew far too tight. Unfortunately, my lack of rebuttal only gave her room to press her advantage.

Alisaie held my gaze as she raised a finger to her lips and delicately circled the tip with her tongue before sucking it into her mouth with a soft slurping noise.

Oh Gods oh Gods oh Gods.

My face was on fire. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think of anything but the fantasy of blue eyes on mine as my cock sunk into the wet heat of her mouth.

Alisaie slowly withdrew her finger, then pointedly looked down at the ridge of my erection, which was starkly visible through the pristine white pants I loved wearing with my Red Mage's coat. "Hmm."

(Read the whole thing on AO3)